examining what his schtick is what it means from a cultural standpoint how its evolved how that fits in with espn corporate culture etc cld be interesting
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:25 (nine years ago) link
simmons shd open a bar and blog abt the bar imo
― lag∞n, Monday, May 11, 2015 3:21 PM (3 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
maybe he should do what he (allegedly) boasted about the possibility of doing and come back to boston to do that, people would eat that shit up
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:26 (nine years ago) link
he's enormously successful and seems like kind of a dick; what is deadspin for if not that
welp, rick reilly and his readers don't give a shit that he sucks, no point in even bringing it up
― mookieproof, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:26 (nine years ago) link
xxp agreed, but that would involve work & thought rather than 900 words that say nothing more substantive "LOL simmdog u homer dummy" and some c&ping as is the (usual) gawkblog takedown standard
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:27 (nine years ago) link
for me simmons is very much apiece with the common current prosumer approach of like the onion av club ppl who pretend to know things who dont know anything and see the world as primarily existing in the context of craft and narrative, which is interesting as simmons started out as a i dont know anything guy
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:29 (nine years ago) link
Drew Magary is pretty funny though, I'll admit it
― frogbs, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:32 (nine years ago) link
i thought it was for sports-tmz shit about athletes at first and that's quite entertaining every once in a while the same way fast food is good in moderation, plus the occasional specialty-item in the form of a feature or something that's actually good, but now they have extremely transparent delusions of righteousness or morality or quality
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:34 (nine years ago) link
yeah deadspin is for finding out that somehow chris christie spent eighty grand in taxpayer money on stadium nachos
― balls, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:36 (nine years ago) link
xp the why your team sucks series is fun i can't lie but he's just as aggressively schticky as simmons but puts a lot of (literal and figurative) airquotey bullshit around it so readers who are suckers for that shit are like "oh lol it's meta and edgy"
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:37 (nine years ago) link
(xxp actually my bad)
― balls, Monday, May 11, 2015 3:36 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
intuitively we all knew this tho
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:39 (nine years ago) link
omg I thought you guys were making up that Chris Christie thing.
― Madison Dumbbarfer (Leee), Monday, 11 May 2015 19:47 (nine years ago) link
haha nope
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 19:48 (nine years ago) link
to be fair, they're very good nachosactually they are not
― “audience participation” otherwise known as “touching” (forksclovetofu), Monday, 11 May 2015 20:52 (nine years ago) link
for me simmons is very much apiece with the common current prosumer approach of like the onion av club ppl who pretend to know things who dont know anything and see the world as primarily existing in the context of /craft/ and /narrative/, which is interesting as simmons started out as a /i dont know anything/ guy
The whole concept of a sportswriter who claims expertise on every sport is totally ridiculous and needs to be shitcanned
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:28 (nine years ago) link
Bleacher report/TNT seems like the best fit for Simmons
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:29 (nine years ago) link
Whoa balls used shitcanned too, hive mind ilh shit
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:30 (nine years ago) link
i don't think he "claims expertise" on anything other than maybe the NBA, but he definitely talks about everything at great length, which is not precisely the same thing
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:31 (nine years ago) link
it is sometimes insufferable and sometimes w/e
idk it's like who caaaaares, there are sportswriters out there who are bigoted or are genuinely vicious and not just more or less harmlessly dumb, this act of pointing at the foibles of simmons like, "SEE? SEE?" as if those doing the pointing are having these brave truth-to-power moments of insight that will really /tell it like it is mannnn/, is fucking laughable
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:35 (nine years ago) link
um no its actually very cool
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:36 (nine years ago) link
If you make the pronouncements he does about sports he doesn't really follow (boxing, hockey, etc) you are implicitly claiming expertise. I guess you could just say he's talking out of his ass but claiming expertise is a nicer way to put it.
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:36 (nine years ago) link
It's not like he's the only guy who does it, it's a long established role for sports writers to be an oracle about every fucking sport
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:37 (nine years ago) link
feel like thats just standard sports writer behavior and while not defendable is just kinda boring and typical simmons sends it over the top by fusing that tendency with the most begging ass bro naratives
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:38 (nine years ago) link
Idk I find it kind of outrageous as a fan of niche sports when some dickhead lies about being a lifelong scholar of it. Less boring and more nails on chalkboard.
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:41 (nine years ago) link
you guys sure seem to know quite a bit about sports writers, but do you have any credentials that I can look over?
― Sufjan Grafton, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:41 (nine years ago) link
hes working so hard to get u to buy in and just has no chill, this is particularly off putting on tv where while hes supposedly having a conversation hes just picking his prewritten dumb stories and pop culture references out of a hat and it just comes off super stilted and contrived, im sure every tv person operates off a script to some extent but he is very bad at making it seem natural at all, there is no flow he just has to share his amazing ideas abt why the warriors are like 90210
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:42 (nine years ago) link
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, May 11, 2015 5:41 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
tbf this is also bad
i could see simmons going to turner if they let him build his own website, no way he does anything with bleacher report though
― J0rdan S., Monday, 11 May 2015 21:44 (nine years ago) link
Well I kind of think of bleacher report as just a company/media entity, he's not gonna be a blogger.
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:46 (nine years ago) link
Simmons to Vice seems like a no brainer
― polyphonic, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:46 (nine years ago) link
omg what if inside the nba adds simmons /kills self/
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:46 (nine years ago) link
He'll go to pitchfork.
― Jeff, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:46 (nine years ago) link
lol
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:47 (nine years ago) link
there is no flow he just has to share his amazing ideas abt why the warriors are like 90210
i dont think anyone really has flow or chill when talking about sports on tv to be fair although he can be pretty awkward, the pop culture references are obviously tired but so are 75% of the standard stylistic tactics on virtually every other sports website
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:47 (nine years ago) link
It would be funny to see Simmons wuss out whenever shaq or chuck says something really dumb (Kenny he'd engage)
― Matt Armstrong, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:48 (nine years ago) link
dont think anyone really has flow or chill when talking about sports on tv to be fair although he can be pretty awkward, the pop culture references are obviously tired but so are 75% of the standard stylistic tactics on virtually every other sports website
― slothroprhymes, Monday, May 11, 2015 5:47 PM (21 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
things have distinctive characteristics did u know that
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:48 (nine years ago) link
would watch a sports chat show on Vice where norm macdonald just makes fun of simmons and klosterman
― Sufjan Grafton, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:49 (nine years ago) link
do they now xp? im not sure how i offended yr sensibilities with that statement
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:50 (nine years ago) link
the shit deadspin does is repetitive, the shit bleacher report does is repetitive, the shit simmons does is repetitive like how is this any different? it's sportswriting
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:51 (nine years ago) link
actually everything is like that is the goto slothp rhetorical gambit
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:52 (nine years ago) link
actually that's everybody's gambit
― Sufjan Grafton, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:53 (nine years ago) link
/bows/
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:54 (nine years ago) link
yeah i highly doubt im the first person to default to "everything is kinda shitty/weird/etc." when they don't understand why one particular thing is a source of outrage vs. others
― slothroprhymes, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:56 (nine years ago) link
JIM ROSS: OH MY GOD! That's that's Bill Simmons' music!
SIMMONS: http://www.onlineworldofwrestling.com/pictures/h/hulkhogan2/15.jpg
ROSS: NO!!
― polyphonic, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:56 (nine years ago) link
― Sufjan Grafton, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:58 (nine years ago) link
― slothroprhymes, Monday, May 11, 2015 5:56 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
its true everyone does it
― lag∞n, Monday, 11 May 2015 21:58 (nine years ago) link
http://deadspin.com/how-jason-whitlock-is-poisoning-espns-black-grantland-1698683962
like here is an example of a good takedown piece that happens to contain -- gasp -- some actual journalism. i'll wait for the simmons one
― k3vin k., Tuesday, 12 May 2015 13:59 (nine years ago) link
-- gasp --
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 14:08 (nine years ago) link
some journalism is reporting, some journalism is summarizing/synthesizing, some journalism is opinon
― lag∞n, Tuesday, 12 May 2015 14:09 (nine years ago) link
reporting is obv the preferred route
if you're gonna resort to the latter two for a takedown piece, naked professional jealousy kind of hurts the credibility, imho
― k3vin k., Tuesday, 12 May 2015 14:16 (nine years ago) link