#SNRUB
― J0rdan S., Tuesday, 10 July 2012 21:40 (eleven years ago) link
big reveal that francessa at least brought up w/ simmons abt replacing dog -- wouldve been crazy, francessas pop culture references are like gary cooper & john wayne
― johnny crunch, Tuesday, 10 July 2012 21:43 (eleven years ago) link
francesca is the fucking worst
― Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 00:39 (eleven years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iFhZSy2Cno
― Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 00:40 (eleven years ago) link
and the true masterpiece of awfulness:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfdc8n93Mfs
― Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 00:43 (eleven years ago) link
i do not think this word means what you think it means xp
― lag∞n, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 00:43 (eleven years ago) link
i first had the francesa experience when he was a studio commentator for college basketball (cbs? espn?) sometime in the 90s. i recall him being totally clueless yet you could tell that under the surface he was just waiting for an excuse to start screaming JOHNNIES, BABY
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 00:46 (eleven years ago) link
the lawr of fungibility
― lag∞n, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 00:51 (eleven years ago) link
i mean im not gonna really defend him, hes a clown in a lot of ways, but if you dont think hes better than every single espn talking head pti around the horn personality than i just dont know
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 01:06 (eleven years ago) link
based on my limited experience of such matters, that is quite a low bar
i think the question is more why any of them have jobs when we have so many sports geniuses here on ilx (srsly). it isn't because they're good-looking.
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 01:22 (eleven years ago) link
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, July 11, 2012 1:06 AM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
I think they at least have some knuckleheads on ESPN who wouldn't have the shamelessness to attempt what Francesa does in the Albuquerque clip.
― Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 01:55 (eleven years ago) link
like skip bayless?
― mookieproof, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 01:58 (eleven years ago) link
that fungibility clip is just priceless i really recommend watching the whole thing for anyone on the fence
― lag∞n, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 02:02 (eleven years ago) link
xxp oh hes undeniably v pompous & will never admit hes wrong or doesnt know something - i guess if that is the major/only criteria 4 u then by all means enjoy tim cowlishaw
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 11 July 2012 02:04 (eleven years ago) link
pretty sure this is one of the few things that i have no interest in reading an oral history of
― High powered Texas lawyer (symsymsym), Wednesday, 11 July 2012 05:15 (eleven years ago) link
Someone should do an oral history of oral histories
― Matt Armstrong, Tuesday, 17 July 2012 22:17 (eleven years ago) link
http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2012/0720/NBA_thrones_g_mp_576.jpg
What does an offseason when 29 franchises take aim at NBA royalty have to do with a mythical land of swords and dragons? Well, everything. Bill Simmons explains. Part 1| Part 2
― omar little, Friday, 20 July 2012 20:49 (eleven years ago) link
man, these last few columns have been dreadful...the Game of Thrones gimmick is stupid (I didn't like it when he did it for the Wire either, yet another show that he originally vowed he'd never watch then later wouldn't shut up about it), and his latest about how LaDainian Tomlinson's real legacy is going to be his fantasy numbers is just embarrassing, hey I like fantasy football too, but come on
― frogbs, Thursday, 26 July 2012 15:16 (eleven years ago) link
And he's slowed down to like one column per month for some reason. Probably saving his strength for when football arrives.
― Mr. Snrub, Thursday, 26 July 2012 20:52 (eleven years ago) link
no teams from Boston are active atm
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 26 July 2012 21:26 (eleven years ago) link
plus he has an empire to oversee.
― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 26 July 2012 21:27 (eleven years ago) link
zing xp
he doesn't care about anything but the nba tbh
― mookieproof, Thursday, 26 July 2012 21:33 (eleven years ago) link
there was like half a day last week where there were zero baseball stories on the front page of grantland. this is the middle of baseball season, and it was all football, basketball, olympics, and pop culture
― congratulations (n/a), Thursday, 26 July 2012 21:35 (eleven years ago) link
if the bruins are good Simmons remembers that he's a hockey expert
― Matt Armstrong, Thursday, 26 July 2012 22:16 (eleven years ago) link
What Frank Ocean, Against Me!'s Laura Jane Grace, and Passion Pit's Michael Angelakos Have in CommonToday 4:30 PM ET
Man, sports journalism will never be the same
― Matt Armstrong, Friday, 27 July 2012 00:27 (eleven years ago) link
his piece about attending a (los angeles) kings game during the nba lockout was pvmic in how it started out about hockey, sort of, but was actually another of his endless missives about how the nba should work ("can we do this?")
it's on a par with wilbon, who when with the wapo apparently felt obligated to write a column about the caps every year or so. they invariably compared ovechkin to mj, of course.
― mookieproof, Friday, 27 July 2012 00:38 (eleven years ago) link
What Frank Ocean, Against Me!'s Laura Jane Grace, and Passion Pit's Michael Angelakos Have in Common
i like reading this headline as if the three of them have hidden things in common's body
― J0rdan S., Friday, 27 July 2012 02:03 (eleven years ago) link
imao 'i put a fork in there' --laura jane grace
― lag∞n, Friday, 27 July 2012 02:23 (eleven years ago) link
haha
― johnny crunch, Friday, 27 July 2012 02:24 (eleven years ago) link
tbf the gaslight anthem piece was otm
― mookieproof, Friday, 27 July 2012 03:07 (eleven years ago) link
http://espn.go.com/espnradio/play?id=8247505
jay caspian king = http://lh3.ggpht.com/-oIqKUvbCGAA/SqKcFEmo_8I/AAAAAAAABhw/i8_J7fcyj60/buffy_wb_081_wwwhqparadisehu.jpg
andrew from the trio
― k3vin k., Thursday, 9 August 2012 00:09 (eleven years ago) link
*kang
― k3vin k., Thursday, 9 August 2012 00:15 (eleven years ago) link
If scientists could create basketball-playing robots from scratch and were asked to create someone to play with Pau Gasol, Kobe Bryant and Nash, basically, they would create Dwight Howard: a ridiculously strong shot blocker/rebounder who can run the floor and doesn't need the ball to be happy.
smh
― Matt Armstrong, Saturday, 11 August 2012 20:33 (eleven years ago) link
WINNER: Steve Nash Went from playing with 11 bench guys on a lottery team to playing with Dwight Howard, Pau Gasol and Kobe Bryant on a title favorite. Remember SNL's "Orgasm Guy" sketches with Rob Schneider? I think that was Steve Nash this morning when he woke up and found out about this trade.
HA! The king of references does it again!
― Matt Armstrong, Saturday, 11 August 2012 20:44 (eleven years ago) link
obviously some hyperbole there but how can you say Dwight isn't a ridiculous fit for this team
― frogbs, Saturday, 11 August 2012 23:25 (eleven years ago) link
Remember SNL's "Orgasm Guy" sketches with Rob Schneider?
embarrassed for my generation
― mookieproof, Saturday, 11 August 2012 23:28 (eleven years ago) link
― frogbs, Saturday, August 11, 2012 11:25 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink "doesn't need the ball to be happy" is just pure wrongness
― Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 12 August 2012 03:31 (eleven years ago) link
Dwight needs candy to be happy, not the ball iirc
― lag∞n, Sunday, 12 August 2012 06:52 (eleven years ago) link
Howard touched the ball only six times on offense in the fourth quarter, with one of those coming from his own offensive rebound. Despite Orlando’s 99-94 win over the Bucks, Howard made it clear that this is not the role he wants. “I do want the ball more in the fourth quarter,” a frustrated Howard said. “I want to become a closer. The only way you get there is by getting the ball and have coach have the confidence in giving me the ball. That’s how Kobe (Bryant) and the rest of the great fourth-quarter players got that way. It’s trial and error. When Kobe first got in the league, it took him a while to become the killer he is in the fourth quarter now. That’s because he went through that phase where he had to learn what shots to take and just get confidence in taking shots in the fourth quarter.”
“That’s one thing that I want for myself, so I can become the guy who finishes games for my team. I want to be that guy whose team wants him to close games out for them. Coach just needs to have confidence in me … Just run plays through me, so I can be comfortable in being the guy and have confidence in getting the ball late in the game and scoring,” Howard said. “That’s what I’m worth. I want to be that guy who controls games. As a kid, that’s what you dream about in the NBA, taking that shot. I want to do that. I’m the leader of the team. Ride my back. I’ll lead. I don’t care if I miss every single shot, I’m going to continue to play hard. Just get on my back. That’s why they call me Superman.”
― Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 12 August 2012 18:15 (eleven years ago) link
Though I guess if he wants to shoot in the fourth quarter he should learn to shoot.
― Clay, Sunday, 12 August 2012 20:57 (eleven years ago) link
matt offtm. It's not like Howard wanted to chuck threes like Bynum. He'll be fine. He wants to play inside out basketball, and if he can develop that ability the Lakers will be even tougher.
What he really needs to work on is ft shooting though. Bynum is a much better shooter in general.
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Sunday, 12 August 2012 22:02 (eleven years ago) link
he wants to play inside out basketball, i.e. he wants the ball in his hands.
― Matt Armstrong, Sunday, 12 August 2012 23:51 (eleven years ago) link
but according to BSimm he's totally cool being Joakim Noah or something
up late writing his fungibility thesis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aAONQyJWC-8
― johnny crunch, Wednesday, 12 September 2012 23:31 (eleven years ago) link
"You have an amazing gift this NFL season that needs to be exploited in massive capacities. In your first three NFL pieces, you have been incredibly wrong. You have not just been wrong, you have predicted the direct opposite of what actually happened. Do you think you should just write the opposite of what you are thinking or do you think once you write it, even if its the opposite of what you are thinking the opposite of that will happen therefore what you are thinking actually happens."
― johnny crunch, Friday, 14 September 2012 22:11 (eleven years ago) link
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
Simmons is joining the NBA Countdown team. Just when I thought that show couldn't get worse. Magic, Wilbon, Simmons and Jalen.
― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 18 October 2012 18:39 (eleven years ago) link
they were originally revamping it w/ simmons & stan van as the centerpieces -- which would've been incredible -- but stern allegedly put the kibosh on SVG's involvement
― lil dirk (J0rdan S.), Thursday, 18 October 2012 18:41 (eleven years ago) link
I'd love Stan on it. But that crew? You're fucking kidding me. The God of Vapid facepalms at those empty heads.
― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 18 October 2012 18:43 (eleven years ago) link
bill simmons' transition from a pure writer into an actual talking head whose voice we have to hear, has been one of the most infuriating things to have been witness to of the last couple of years
― 乒乓, Thursday, 18 October 2012 18:44 (eleven years ago) link
Not as infuriating as his talking head status meaning we get to hear from his friends like Jackoff and the human garbage disposal.
― EZ Snappin, Thursday, 18 October 2012 18:48 (eleven years ago) link