bill simmons IS bill simmons IN the book of BASKETBALL

i would check the "do you want 1 penny to go to the president's league pass" box on my tax return for sure

"i've got another five years here"

http://www.iamagm.com/news/2012/05/03/espns.bill.simmons.has.withdraw.nba.mvp.vote.due.gambling

ha

bill simmowned

can't wait for this dude to have a fall from grace, but I have a feeling it won't bc popular sports writers just keeping sucking for decades until they die

eh i don't really feel like he deserves any sort of comeuppance

looks like Simmons didn't even know he had a vote until the season was nearly over, so yeah there are some questions that need to be asked here, but this is basically a non-story

i'm not really a big fan; I just feel he's way past his "sell by" date, even though I admit in the past, when I didn't know how clueless he could be, I did like his articles quite a bit

there's only so many Karate Kid references one man can make

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/8026268/the-consequences-caring

truly very good piece

i was disappointed that there wasn't more about the basketball game, but yeah

yeah wow

occasionally, he's still got it in a way no one else does:

It's not about watching your team win the Cup as much as that moment when you wake up thinking, In 12 hours, I might watch my team win the Cup. It's about sitting in the same chair for Game 5 because that chair worked for you in Game 3 and Game 4, and somehow, this has to mean something. It's about using a urinal between periods, realizing that you're peeing on a Devils card, then eventually realizing that some evil genius placed Devils cards in every single urinal. It's about leaning out of a window to yell at people wearing the same jersey as you, and it's about noticing an airport security guy staring at your Celtics jersey and knowing he'll say, "You think they win tonight?" before he does. It's about being an NBA fan but avoiding this year's Western Conference finals because you still can't believe they ripped your team away, and it's about crying after that same series because you can't believe your little unassuming city might win the title. It's about posing for pictures before a Stanley Cup clincher, then regretting after the fact that you did. It's about two strangers watching you cry at a stoplight. It's black and white, but it's not.

the car accident bit was super otm too, it even felt like that at home, just weird numbing shock at what lebron did

Then I remembered something. Sports is a metaphor for life.

*thinks deeply, cries at a childs pain*

wow simmons really likes this "mike and the mad dog" show that i had never heard of until about a month ago.

#SNRUB

big reveal that francessa at least brought up w/ simmons abt replacing dog -- wouldve been crazy, francessas pop culture references are like gary cooper & john wayne

francesca is the fucking worst

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iFhZSy2Cno

and the true masterpiece of awfulness:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bfdc8n93Mfs

i do not think this word means what you think it means xp

i first had the francesa experience when he was a studio commentator for college basketball (cbs? espn?) sometime in the 90s. i recall him being totally clueless yet you could tell that under the surface he was just waiting for an excuse to start screaming JOHNNIES, BABY

the lawr of fungibility

i mean im not gonna really defend him, hes a clown in a lot of ways, but if you dont think hes better than every single espn talking head pti around the horn personality than i just dont know

based on my limited experience of such matters, that is quite a low bar

i think the question is more why any of them have jobs when we have so many sports geniuses here on ilx (srsly). it isn't because they're good-looking.

i mean im not gonna really defend him, hes a clown in a lot of ways, but if you dont think hes better than every single espn talking head pti around the horn personality than i just dont know

― johnny crunch, Wednesday, July 11, 2012 1:06 AM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I think they at least have some knuckleheads on ESPN who wouldn't have the shamelessness to attempt what Francesa does in the Albuquerque clip.

like skip bayless?

that fungibility clip is just priceless i really recommend watching the whole thing for anyone on the fence

xxp oh hes undeniably v pompous & will never admit hes wrong or doesnt know something - i guess if that is the major/only criteria 4 u then by all means enjoy tim cowlishaw

pretty sure this is one of the few things that i have no interest in reading an oral history of

Someone should do an oral history of oral histories

http://a.espncdn.com/photo/2012/0720/NBA_thrones_g_mp_576.jpg

What does an offseason when 29 franchises take aim at NBA royalty have to do with a mythical land of swords and dragons? Well, everything. Bill Simmons explains. Part 1| Part 2

man, these last few columns have been dreadful...the Game of Thrones gimmick is stupid (I didn't like it when he did it for the Wire either, yet another show that he originally vowed he'd never watch then later wouldn't shut up about it), and his latest about how LaDainian Tomlinson's real legacy is going to be his fantasy numbers is just embarrassing, hey I like fantasy football too, but come on

And he's slowed down to like one column per month for some reason. Probably saving his strength for when football arrives.

no teams from Boston are active atm

plus he has an empire to oversee.

zing xp

he doesn't care about anything but the nba tbh

there was like half a day last week where there were zero baseball stories on the front page of grantland. this is the middle of baseball season, and it was all football, basketball, olympics, and pop culture

if the bruins are good Simmons remembers that he's a hockey expert

What Frank Ocean, Against Me!'s Laura Jane Grace, and Passion Pit's Michael Angelakos Have in Common
Today 4:30 PM ET

Man, sports journalism will never be the same

if the bruins are good Simmons remembers that he's a hockey expert

his piece about attending a (los angeles) kings game during the nba lockout was pvmic in how it started out about hockey, sort of, but was actually another of his endless missives about how the nba should work ("can we do this?")

it's on a par with wilbon, who when with the wapo apparently felt obligated to write a column about the caps every year or so. they invariably compared ovechkin to mj, of course.

What Frank Ocean, Against Me!'s Laura Jane Grace, and Passion Pit's Michael Angelakos Have in Common

i like reading this headline as if the three of them have hidden things in common's body

imao 'i put a fork in there' --laura jane grace

haha

tbf the gaslight anthem piece was otm

http://espn.go.com/espnradio/play?id=8247505

jay caspian king = http://lh3.ggpht.com/-oIqKUvbCGAA/SqKcFEmo_8I/AAAAAAAABhw/i8_J7fcyj60/buffy_wb_081_wwwhqparadisehu.jpg

andrew from the trio

*kang

If scientists could create basketball-playing robots from scratch and were asked to create someone to play with Pau Gasol, Kobe Bryant and Nash, basically, they would create Dwight Howard: a ridiculously strong shot blocker/rebounder who can run the floor and doesn't need the ball to be happy.

smh

WINNER: Steve Nash Went from playing with 11 bench guys on a lottery team to playing with Dwight Howard, Pau Gasol and Kobe Bryant on a title favorite. Remember SNL's "Orgasm Guy" sketches with Rob Schneider? I think that was Steve Nash this morning when he woke up and found out about this trade.

HA! The king of references does it again!