bill simmons IS bill simmons IN the book of BASKETBALL

that's a horrible starting lineup too!

yeah that crazytown team has three power forwards and pierce moving to the 2 plus a bunch of garbage off the bench

they would get obliterated by every remotely fast guard

and im sorry cuban knows whats up, he's playing with house money with marion right now and then he's gonna get dumped for cap space after this year, that's not a guy i would go near other than as a depth rental

this column is the 'whitney was killed by the illuminati let me connect the dots 4 u' of the nba, the logic is so convoluted and lacking in any perspective its impossible to know where to start untangling it

lol

i mean i remember after the ray & kg trades everyone was like welp they have a two year window at best before the wheels come off and they were a perk knee away from the 2010 chip

i think ainge would have blown it up completely last summer but with the lockout it kind of made more sense to patch it together and let the old dudes roll one more time, which i am fine with

its funny he chose sam presti as his avatar considering making tons crazy trades for old players is v much not his approach, however blowing up an old team and starting over from scratch w/tons cap room and draft picks is, thats how i could tell it want really presti talking it was simmons

portrait of mental illness otm, I have an image of simmons in a straitjacket dictating to a poor intern at the grantland office, perhaps simmons is wearing a hannibal mask

someone really should hire simmons as their gm, for lolz

"a portrait of mental illness" is so otm

20 min podcast w/dirk is worth listening to--dirk is such a chill guy.

i was into that celtics column up until he used perk & rondo as his mouthpiece for being butthurt over "sports being a business" or whatever

yah its kinda telling that the whole thing hinges on this supposedly powerful emotional element, because it makes no sense from a basketball pov, Perkins was injured and playing like shit and has continued to be injured and playing like shit while rondo has continued to play at a high level and even improve somewhat

it's hilarious that someone who has almost built his entire identity around concocting "bold" and franchise-altering trades wrote an entire column that boiled down to "the gm of my favorite team made a trade that enforced that sports is a business"

i thought the celtics were unbutu but it turns out theyre windows

more like ubuntough shit, you've been traded!

yes!

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/18687/b-s-report-barack-obama

B.J. Steiner ‏ @DocZeus
All I want to know is if Simmons brought up his Entertaining As Hell Tournament with the President?

"President Obama visits the B.S. Report to talk the Bulls, college football playoffs, and his favorite Wire character."

according to google it is omar

bill simmons kind of wields an insane amount of power, i am concerned

we r doomed

The interview is engaging enough, I think.

turn back before its too late

obama has league pass!

:)

he pays for it himself tho

I feel like all 300 million people of america would be willing to chip in for him to get league pass for free, it would be like .00000000001 cent each, yes we can

i would check the "do you want 1 penny to go to the president's league pass" box on my tax return for sure

"i've got another five years here"

http://www.iamagm.com/news/2012/05/03/espns.bill.simmons.has.withdraw.nba.mvp.vote.due.gambling

ha

bill simmowned

can't wait for this dude to have a fall from grace, but I have a feeling it won't bc popular sports writers just keeping sucking for decades until they die

eh i don't really feel like he deserves any sort of comeuppance

looks like Simmons didn't even know he had a vote until the season was nearly over, so yeah there are some questions that need to be asked here, but this is basically a non-story

i'm not really a big fan; I just feel he's way past his "sell by" date, even though I admit in the past, when I didn't know how clueless he could be, I did like his articles quite a bit

there's only so many Karate Kid references one man can make

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/8026268/the-consequences-caring

truly very good piece

i was disappointed that there wasn't more about the basketball game, but yeah

yeah wow

occasionally, he's still got it in a way no one else does:

It's not about watching your team win the Cup as much as that moment when you wake up thinking, In 12 hours, I might watch my team win the Cup. It's about sitting in the same chair for Game 5 because that chair worked for you in Game 3 and Game 4, and somehow, this has to mean something. It's about using a urinal between periods, realizing that you're peeing on a Devils card, then eventually realizing that some evil genius placed Devils cards in every single urinal. It's about leaning out of a window to yell at people wearing the same jersey as you, and it's about noticing an airport security guy staring at your Celtics jersey and knowing he'll say, "You think they win tonight?" before he does. It's about being an NBA fan but avoiding this year's Western Conference finals because you still can't believe they ripped your team away, and it's about crying after that same series because you can't believe your little unassuming city might win the title. It's about posing for pictures before a Stanley Cup clincher, then regretting after the fact that you did. It's about two strangers watching you cry at a stoplight. It's black and white, but it's not.

the car accident bit was super otm too, it even felt like that at home, just weird numbing shock at what lebron did

Then I remembered something. Sports is a metaphor for life.

*thinks deeply, cries at a childs pain*

wow simmons really likes this "mike and the mad dog" show that i had never heard of until about a month ago.

#SNRUB

big reveal that francessa at least brought up w/ simmons abt replacing dog -- wouldve been crazy, francessas pop culture references are like gary cooper & john wayne

francesca is the fucking worst

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iFhZSy2Cno