Better to be unplayable than uninspired - adventures in terrible gaming.

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No idea why, but over the years w/the exception of some of the big AAA titles (skyrims and fallouts and batmans and bioshock) i find myself way more interested in the weirdo/seedy/stupid/fucked up side of the console gaming coin. So I've actually started to go out of my way to dig through the games that are failures, sometimes commercially and sometimes just failures in the sense of not being games at all.

This thread is kinda dual purpose I guess - first i want to know if other people do this to the extent that i do, and second, maybe my pain can stave off the pain of others by telling you if its an awesome piece of shit or just a straight up piece of shit. Most of my expertise is on 360 w/a little bit of wii thrown in there (although man a terrible game with wiimote added is almost never fun). also if people have stuff they recommend, id love to expand my horizons.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 19:02 (six years ago) Permalink

I had planned on getting some shitty games while I was on Gamefly but never got around to it. Man vs. Wild is supposed to be pretty bad.

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 19:12 (six years ago) Permalink

Plz note: a lot of these I don't think are terrible, in fact some of them are among my favorites - and not in a "so bad it's good" sort of way, which rarely happens w/video games. It takes a pretty fantastic concept to overcome terrible controls and camera nightmares.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 19:36 (six years ago) Permalink

if you are going to start extolling the virtues of Heavy Rain I am removing my bookmark

PITILESS LIVE SHOW (DJP), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 19:42 (six years ago) Permalink

oh god no

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 19:44 (six years ago) Permalink

one of the best arguments for console exclusivity is that thx to only having a 360 i never had the chance to own heavy rain. tried it at my friends house and was pretty O_O about how terrible it was.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 19:46 (six years ago) Permalink

so off the top of my head, a list of the stuff that qualifies that i currently own:

Splatterhouse
Brink
Bulletstorm
Deadly Premonition
Nier
No More Heroes
Dead Island
Alone in the Dark reboot
Earth Defense Force: Insect Armageddon
50 Cent: Blood in the Sand
Rage
Alpha Protocol
El Shaddhai
Madworld
Fuel
Command and Conquer: Red Alert 3
Army of Two
Kane and Lynch: Dead Men
Metro 2033

i know there are more but i am not at home at the moment

stuff i dont have anymore but played

Clive Barker's Jericho
Shadows of the Damned

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 19:54 (six years ago) Permalink

Whenever I visit my brother he seems to have dug up something on the Wii Virtual Console that fits this bill. I recently got a kick out of China Fighter (TG16).

Back in the day I somehow managed to accumulate a bunch of games like this for SNES (Bram Stoker's Dracula!) and NES, but I don't really have any contemporary examples.

cwkiii, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 19:58 (six years ago) Permalink

I'm totally into this sort of thing. In fact, I have two games in your list I still have to get around to, unopened.

I'm not sure something like Dead Island counts, though - by most accounts it's just sort of mediocre?

Nhex, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 20:18 (six years ago) Permalink

Also, do the Suda 51 games count when they are so self-conscious? (Lollipop Chainsaw included, I presume)

Nhex, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 20:19 (six years ago) Permalink

Speaking of which, KILLER7.

Nhex, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 20:20 (six years ago) Permalink

oh man, stop trying to get me to get Nier

PITILESS LIVE SHOW (DJP), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 20:21 (six years ago) Permalink

God I want to play Tokyo Jungle so bad

http://www.eurogamer.net/videos/lollipop-chainsaws-suda-51-plays-tokyo-jungle

pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 20:24 (six years ago) Permalink

dude at this point nier must be all of what $4? thats the great thing about all of this

also yeah i wasnt sure if dead island really fit, but it is a total mess in a lot of ways. #1 being that if you allow their vaunted online coop, you end up finishing a bunch of story quests without even getting a chance to see them because some online psycho is off hardmanning through them solo, but if you dont play online there is some stuff that is basically impossible to do.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 20:27 (six years ago) Permalink

there was a totally hilarious review of Nier where some dude gave it zero stars because he spent a stupid amount of time on the fishing minigame trying to unsuccessfully catch a fish; something like an hour and a half later he realized he was 2 feet away from the spot where he supposed to have been fishing and caught the fish on the first try

PITILESS LIVE SHOW (DJP), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 20:31 (six years ago) Permalink

can we talk about dos games here

the late great, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 20:36 (six years ago) Permalink

WarTech Senko No Ronde (360) plays like a mixture of one-on-one fighter & bullet hell shmup? oh and lots of animu bollocks. you can get this really really cheap. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=icf6lPiPyFc
Trauma Team (Wii) worth it just to play the Diagnosis & Pathology sections, which are Phoenix-Wright-esque. you get to tell an old guy he's got an incurable disease! controls for the Endoscopy section are broken, thankfully you can skip those bits.
Recettear (PC) the dungeon parts are clumsy, the shop bits ridiculous - and yet it's just so charming, the localization probably counts for 90% of the goodwill towards this game.

zappi, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 20:48 (six years ago) Permalink

stuff i am currently considering as future entrants:

that conan game
homefront
red faction: armageddon
the CSI game

stuff i will never stoop to i dont think
naughty bear

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 21:23 (six years ago) Permalink

how amazing would it be if there was a Conan O'Brien video game

PITILESS LIVE SHOW (DJP), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 21:24 (six years ago) Permalink

the entire thing should be QTE minigames where the goal is to do the most awkward-looking time-killing lurchdance

PITILESS LIVE SHOW (DJP), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 21:25 (six years ago) Permalink

Conan O'Brien Kinect Adventures!

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 July 2012 22:46 (six years ago) Permalink

has anyone played DayZ yet? it looks kinda messy but interesting.

zappi, Wednesday, 25 July 2012 23:05 (six years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

ok fuck it, im buying duke nukem forever tonight. i think gamestop has it for under $5, so why not

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Saturday, 11 August 2012 20:22 (six years ago) Permalink

hahaha whoo boy, this is really something

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Sunday, 12 August 2012 19:04 (six years ago) Permalink

john, you know - earlier this morning, i was gonna respond to that post with something in the order "man, maybe there are some games that might not be worth the time"

then i walk into Best Buy today, and i see DNF brand new for three dollars, and i cannot resist

Nhex, Sunday, 12 August 2012 22:02 (six years ago) Permalink

That game has a demo, there is no reason for anyone to play that game :)

Andrew Farrell, Sunday, 12 August 2012 23:25 (six years ago) Permalink

John, you should post a video/audio review

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Monday, 13 August 2012 04:24 (six years ago) Permalink

ok finished it. i know you will all think i am crazy, but it was infinitely better than i thought it would be. this is not to say that it isnt the most stupid and peurile game i have played in years because whoa it sure is, but the single player campaign is long and not actually bad. multiplayer is hilariously dated in a way that is hard to even describe, and painful to play, but you will be glad to know that there are still devoted maniacs for this just like every other shoot you in the face game on the planet. some particularly classy moments include slapping "wall boobs" until milk shoots out of them and the fact that if you hold up the ego boosting porn mags at just the right angle to the light, there are jizz stains on them. a couple of knowing moments where you say some horribly lunk-headed one liner and one of the space marine grunts in the area will respond with "uh. ok duke."

well worth $5, do not pay a penny more.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 18:32 (six years ago) Permalink

also, brink is turning out to be way way better than expected. of particular note is that the online crowd seems way less creepy than your average cod/halo/l4d peeps - no griefing, no attempts to fuck over new players, lots of avenues to feel like you arent shitty, even though i am sure that i am since ive been playing for a whole 5-10 hours. the vault mechanic or whatever is kinda meh, but the level design so far seems really solid, and the integration of changing objective based gameplay is pretty well executed. seems a little unbalanced in the sense that defensive chapters are way way harder than offensive ones, but that again might just be the way that the random allotments work. again, its sub $5 level now used, and although its no bulletstorm, its worth a look.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 19:00 (six years ago) Permalink

I'm quite tempted to get Nier at the moment.

Resonance Of Fate might qualify. Endless grind, almost no variation, really odd characterisation yet strangely addictive.

Temporarily Famous In The Czech Republic (ShariVari), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 19:10 (six years ago) Permalink

a couple of knowing moments where you say some horribly lunk-headed one liner and one of the space marine grunts in the area will respond with "uh. ok duke."

!

thomp, Wednesday, 22 August 2012 19:52 (six years ago) Permalink

there are plenty of times that you can feel the pain of some poor dude stuck with this ancient terrible character and letting his misery and distaste seep through.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 22 August 2012 20:00 (six years ago) Permalink

I enjoyed Bulletstorm, I must say.

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Thursday, 23 August 2012 06:49 (six years ago) Permalink

I have to say, my sense of humour has me wanting to play this just for the crying with laughter value:

http://youtu.be/pU84Da4gqF8

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Thursday, 23 August 2012 09:20 (six years ago) Permalink

lolll. is the game bug-ridden or is that some kind of comedy mode or what?

emo mcgee vs ricky hitler (Merdeyeux), Friday, 24 August 2012 00:45 (six years ago) Permalink

skate 3 wonky physics videos are basically my favorite thing ever, cannot imagine the game lives up to the youtubes

The muted sensation feels amazeballs. (forksclovetofu), Friday, 24 August 2012 01:10 (six years ago) Permalink

I think its just bug ridden from what I can understand! It is so fucking funny to watch. Sort of like a Gary's Mod, only on accident.

frances boredom coconut (Trayce), Friday, 24 August 2012 01:16 (six years ago) Permalink

Every time I watch one of those it makes me wonder why I've never picked it up.

EZ Snappin, Friday, 24 August 2012 01:29 (six years ago) Permalink

it is on my list. no surprise there i guess.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Friday, 24 August 2012 04:24 (six years ago) Permalink

Yeah, that looks totally Garys Mod.

Fiendish Doctor Wu (kingfish), Friday, 24 August 2012 04:56 (six years ago) Permalink

Why yes, I am playing Red Faction: Armageddon. Much much better than expected, but still a huge bummer if you go in expecting Red Faction : Guerilla part 2.

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:23 (six years ago) Permalink

I think I convinced my friend to buy Skate 3 after sharing that video w/ him over the weekend.

cwkiii, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:24 (six years ago) Permalink

xp the prospect is just too sad. Guerilla was wonderfully smashy.

Nhex, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:28 (six years ago) Permalink

well theres still plenty of smashy, the magnet gun in particular is v v satisfying and is working with some pretty impressive behind the scenes physics and mass calculations. the big issue is that its very linear, and the destructo is less fun in the underground crawl sections (although not always!)

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:39 (six years ago) Permalink

feels weirdly dead spacey in some ways? also, if you see a mech, use it. plz note: i would be less happy with this if i had not picked it up for $5 at the pawn shop

O_o-O_O-o_O (jjjusten), Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:40 (six years ago) Permalink

word, word

Nhex, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:43 (six years ago) Permalink

I bought Skate 3 on Monday. It's awesome but I haven't had any cool glitches.

EZ Snappin, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 18:56 (six years ago) Permalink

I just enjoyed a nice, long bout of Skate 3 video induced laughter. Thank you so much for that gift.

Old Lunch, Wednesday, 29 August 2012 20:01 (six years ago) Permalink

the saboteur is properly great, don't put it in this cruel cruel thread :(

NI, Saturday, 12 October 2013 16:12 (five years ago) Permalink

oh man you have me tempted to run out and buy this right now

papa smango (fadanuf4erybody), Saturday, 12 October 2013 22:40 (five years ago) Permalink

saboteur was fabulous, gtfo

Euler, Saturday, 12 October 2013 22:54 (five years ago) Permalink

No, I know, but it was a horrendous flop. Unfairly! I think it's awesome. But it still fits my criteria.

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Sunday, 13 October 2013 06:23 (five years ago) Permalink

I mean BULLETSTORM is on my list but still got my number one spot that year. Deadly Premonition is also all time great. I do this out of love.

ACA: not bad, needs more death panels (jjjusten), Sunday, 13 October 2013 06:27 (five years ago) Permalink

Nier is the only game this gen that i've gone back and replayed (twice!), just love running around the world listening to that amazing soundtrack while the companion characters bicker behind me. Drakengard 3 is coming out in the west next year and has the same writer/director and sound team, so hopefully it retains some of the atmosphere (Nier was a spinoff from the Drakengard series after all)

( X '____' )/ (zappi), Sunday, 13 October 2013 12:16 (five years ago) Permalink

i keep thinking about picking up Nier

Nhex, Sunday, 13 October 2013 17:01 (five years ago) Permalink

Does 50 Cent: Blood on the Sands fit into this niche? the voiceovers push it into it IMO, the game itself is just totally uninspired.

the Shearer of simulated snowsex etc. (Dwight Yorke), Monday, 14 October 2013 11:30 (five years ago) Permalink

Charlie Brooker is entertainingly vitriolic about that game

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CGC8fO8uAOA

Neil S, Monday, 14 October 2013 13:25 (five years ago) Permalink

btw, Marlow Briggs and the Mask of Death is a self-aware-ish budget title that looks fairly enjoyable if you are so inclined

Andrew Kornfan, Thursday, 17 October 2013 11:45 (five years ago) Permalink

When it hits a budget price I think I'll bite on Dragon's Crown

Nhex, Thursday, 17 October 2013 16:19 (five years ago) Permalink

Ha, Ride to Hell dropped to $10 at BestBuy. I'm really tempted to get it from jjjusten's review here but... i've probably got enough legitimately good games in the backlog that it would be unwise

Nhex, Tuesday, 22 October 2013 03:37 (five years ago) Permalink

Love this review
http://www.eurogamer.net/articles/2013-07-10-ride-to-hell-retribution-review

Nhex, Thursday, 24 October 2013 20:00 (five years ago) Permalink

god I love Cara Ellison

Andrew Kornfan, Friday, 25 October 2013 09:01 (five years ago) Permalink

Contender:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5drSYII5mFY

polyphonic, Wednesday, 6 November 2013 00:37 (five years ago) Permalink

man. he didn't even kill anybody in First Blood!

Nhex, Saturday, 9 November 2013 05:41 (five years ago) Permalink

Ooooh, Catherine is hitting this sweet spot. Not so much terrible as just super super weird

Wendy Carlos Williams (jjjusten), Saturday, 16 November 2013 06:20 (five years ago) Permalink

Onechanbara: Bikini Samurai Squad on sale on PSN. Thoughts?

Nhex, Friday, 29 November 2013 20:17 (five years ago) Permalink

Was on sale on XBL today too, grabbed it. Will report back... eventually.

Nhex, Saturday, 30 November 2013 05:54 (five years ago) Permalink

Not available on ps3 in America god damn it

On the plus side flash sale on deadpool so uh oh

Wendy Carlos Williams (jjjusten), Saturday, 30 November 2013 06:08 (five years ago) Permalink

Ha never mind, on sale for less in physical format. Tomorrow you will be mine, terrible terrible game.

Wendy Carlos Williams (jjjusten), Saturday, 30 November 2013 06:11 (five years ago) Permalink

also:
ride to hell: retribution - $7
defiance - $7
aliens: colonial marines - $9
http://www.gamefly.com/Store/PS3/

Strangers look on with a discernible, barely contained ‘wow’. (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 10 December 2013 20:43 (five years ago) Permalink

Aliens - that's the broken one that looks like a PS2 game?

EZ Snappin, Tuesday, 10 December 2013 21:58 (five years ago) Permalink

true of so many games, but yes

Strangers look on with a discernible, barely contained ‘wow’. (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 10 December 2013 22:08 (five years ago) Permalink

a friend picked up the Alone in the Dark reboot mentioned way upthread as a gag and oh my god this is really something

papa smango (fadanuf4erybody), Wednesday, 11 December 2013 01:55 (five years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Aliens: Colonial Marines for PC download, $1.99 just for today. Comes with coupon for $5 off an Amazon download next month, they're usually pretty good with their "Best Of" selection in January.

Nhex, Thursday, 26 December 2013 02:14 (five years ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

dudes i want to talk about Anarchy Reigns

Wendy Carlos Williams (jjjusten), Monday, 13 January 2014 18:34 (five years ago) Permalink

so its a sequel (kind of?) to madworld, closed world beat-em-up that is also apparently a 20ish character fighting game as well - im hot garbage with regards to fighters, so i am not a good judge. dumb as a brick in many ways, weird "why is this here" vehicle timed lap racing sections, no attempt at even vague coherency, interspersed with completely out of character and hamfisted "touching" dead kid storyline. its a glorious god damn mess so far, not as broken as ride to hell (which well jesus i dont know if anything in recent memory is that broken) but so bafflingly out of step with videogames of the modern day that it is quite refreshing. its no bulletstorm, but its cheap as dirt and solidly in the spirit of this thread.

Wendy Carlos Williams (jjjusten), Monday, 13 January 2014 18:43 (five years ago) Permalink

sounds fun, will wait for $5

Nhex, Monday, 13 January 2014 20:57 (five years ago) Permalink

just learned about this stinker recently
http://www.gameinformer.com/games/dark/b/xbox360/archive/2013/07/09/a-vampire-who-sucks-at-everything.aspx

hang son doong (am0n), Monday, 13 January 2014 22:56 (five years ago) Permalink

lol the voice acting

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vczVtwQi8LY

hang son doong (am0n), Monday, 13 January 2014 22:58 (five years ago) Permalink

jesus that music

this harmless group of nerds and the women that love them (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 06:14 (five years ago) Permalink

Ride to Hell won GB's worst game award last year

Who is DANKEY KANG? (kingfish), Tuesday, 14 January 2014 08:39 (five years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

ORION: Dino Horde is free this weekend (and if you really like it permanent ownership is on sale for $1 )

http://cf.shacknews.com/images/20130326/003_25155.nphd.jpg

u know u want to

Mordy , Friday, 21 February 2014 23:14 (four years ago) Permalink

supposedly really really awful

Nhex, Saturday, 22 February 2014 00:49 (four years ago) Permalink

The first good argument for me to own a gaming PC. Which I don't, so infinite sadface.

Corpsepaint Counterpaint (jjjusten), Saturday, 22 February 2014 03:05 (four years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

daikatana only $1.5 right now on steam:
http://www.gog.com/game/daikatana

Mordy , Saturday, 5 April 2014 23:28 (four years ago) Permalink

noooooo

Nhex, Sunday, 6 April 2014 01:18 (four years ago) Permalink

jjjjusten if you like bad games and you don't have even a mid-level PC that can run garbage from 2006ish then you're missin out.

Andrew Kornfan, Saturday, 12 April 2014 04:05 (four years ago) Permalink

I know! Curse of Mac owner. And it's a shitty "old" mac, but that still means nothing came out for it ever.

Corpsepaint Counterpaint (jjjusten), Saturday, 12 April 2014 04:34 (four years ago) Permalink

eleven months pass...

Ohhhhh yeah, grabbed Eat Lead: The Return of Matt Hazard for 90 cents on that recent flash sale, let's get stupid

a strawman stuffed with their collection of 12 cds (jjjusten), Wednesday, 25 March 2015 06:25 (three years ago) Permalink

two years pass...

I kept seeing these two Skylight games (for Vita) pop up in PSN sales and became curious enough to look into them. And, well...holy jesus:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MRtn_KG9jAw

You dishonor your ancestors with your emoji abstention (Old Lunch), Monday, 12 February 2018 16:07 (one year ago) Permalink

Just to be clear, these are pretty much brand new games and not something someone made for their high school computer class in 1996.

You dishonor your ancestors with your emoji abstention (Old Lunch), Monday, 12 February 2018 16:08 (one year ago) Permalink

eleven months pass...

Ah ha ha ha. Just saw that this is currently on clearance sale in the PSN store and came here to post a gameplay vid, totally forgetting that I'd already ragged on this irredeemable POS. Thanks for saving me some work, Younger Lunch.

Why have more than 1,000 of my bucks disappearded? (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 6 February 2019 00:36 (one week ago) Permalink

jeeze louise

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Wednesday, 6 February 2019 00:38 (one week ago) Permalink

Ah heck, why not another, it's pretty funny to hear the reviewer get pissy about trying to 'play' the godforsaken thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQ41J-sGyXs

Why have more than 1,000 of my bucks disappearded? (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 6 February 2019 00:42 (one week ago) Permalink

To be clear, someone is responsible for making three entire games that look/play like this.

Why have more than 1,000 of my bucks disappearded? (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 6 February 2019 00:44 (one week ago) Permalink

i'm definitely planning to do a adventure into this world on the switch but waiting another year or so for the library to 'mature'

ciderpress, Wednesday, 6 February 2019 01:05 (one week ago) Permalink


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