Are you a Super Mario Bros. smartass?

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When you get to the end of a level in Super Mario Bros. (NES), what do you do?

Also, once the novelty of this question has worn off (should take about 15-20 seconds), let's see if we can talk about some common smartass moves you can pull in videogames.

Poll Results

OptionVotes
It's whatever, dawg (100 to 5000 pts) 11
Aim for the very top (5000 pts) 8
Do the move where you deliberately aim for the bottom and do a little sit and hug (100 pts) 0


smell the reality of coffee (Z S), Saturday, 3 October 2009 00:56 (eleven years ago) link

What Would Wario Do

ice cr?m, Saturday, 3 October 2009 01:05 (eleven years ago) link

The biggest asshole level of all the Mario Bros: Level 3-1 in Lost Levels. If you enter the pipe halfway through the level, when you pop back into the overworld you're forced to warp back to World 1! Fuuuuuck dude. AND, if you take the gentlemen's path, staying above ground, and hit the mega spring toward the end and accidentally fly over the flagpole, you're forced into the same warp pipe back to World 1! Fuuuuuuck dude.

Guaranteed, thousands and thousands of people reached that point of Lost Levels and quit at that very moment.

smell the reality of coffee (Z S), Saturday, 3 October 2009 01:17 (eleven years ago) link

SIDE POLL

Shigeru Miyamoto: Genius, or total asshole?

smell the reality of coffee (Z S), Saturday, 3 October 2009 01:21 (eleven years ago) link

EDIT: The ENTIRETY of Lost Levels is a goddamn FRAUD. FOR PETE'S SAKE, C'MON

smell the reality of coffee (Z S), Saturday, 3 October 2009 01:28 (eleven years ago) link

Mario Kart (or any other racing game, really): If you're slaughtering the opponent, wait around at the edge of the finish line, wait until they're tearing around the final corner, and then tap accelerate for the win. Or, if you're an incredible smartass and you're far enough in front, drive backward, run into them, shoot them with shelves, and THEN win.

smell the reality of coffee (Z S), Saturday, 3 October 2009 01:36 (eleven years ago) link

SHELLS

smell the reality of coffee (Z S), Saturday, 3 October 2009 01:40 (eleven years ago) link

shelves lol

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Saturday, 3 October 2009 01:41 (eleven years ago) link

The ENTIRETY of Lost Levels is a goddamn FRAUD.

Not only is this OTM but bollocks to every "special hard edition" remix of every game ever.

SBana Ng (Noodle Vague), Saturday, 3 October 2009 01:41 (eleven years ago) link

Seriously, I'm working on Post-World 4 levels tonight for the first time tonight, and the whole thing is like your older brother beating the shit out of you and saying "stop hitting yourself! stop hitting yourself!"

smell the reality of coffee (Z S), Saturday, 3 October 2009 01:46 (eleven years ago) link

wait on the bottom and get the last digit of the time to be a 6

abanana, Saturday, 3 October 2009 02:56 (eleven years ago) link

Time it right so that you hit the top of the flagpole on a 6. You earned those fireworks!

naus, Saturday, 3 October 2009 03:07 (eleven years ago) link

Or just hit wherever, near the 6 if possible. Fireworks are cool if it happens, whatever

smell the reality of coffee (Z S), Saturday, 3 October 2009 03:20 (eleven years ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kl3d2HAGElE

naus, Saturday, 3 October 2009 04:14 (eleven years ago) link

but really, does anybody actually play this game for high scores?

naus, Saturday, 3 October 2009 04:16 (eleven years ago) link

let's see if we can talk about some common smartass moves you can pull in videogames.

imma a smartass when i die @ demon's souls i sceam well fuk u pigraping whoresons i hope u get demon aids and then i think abt throwing my controller @ the tv and abt how ive wasted my lyfe

i dont really fuk w/flagpole theatrics im just glad to get to the end, u no

nutrional socialist (Lamp), Saturday, 3 October 2009 05:46 (eleven years ago) link

i used to do the coppasquat flag bounce at the bottom

Take a ride on The Rape Tunnel (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 3 October 2009 06:08 (eleven years ago) link

but really, does anybody actually play this game for high scores?
― naus, Saturday, October 3, 2009 5:16 AM (3 hours ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Z S

cozwn, Saturday, 3 October 2009 08:10 (eleven years ago) link

http://img145.imageshack.us/img145/8638/hearts18stoned.jpg

cozwn, Saturday, 3 October 2009 08:10 (eleven years ago) link

title of this thread sounds like an old school video game ad

gore vitalic (s1ocki), Saturday, 3 October 2009 14:46 (eleven years ago) link

ARE YOU A METROID MANIAC?!

gore vitalic (s1ocki), Saturday, 3 October 2009 14:46 (eleven years ago) link

I always feel kinda bad for the people who show up on the first page of results for "totally stoned dude" on Google Image Search.

The semi-old school ad campaign I remember is

http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2181/1922711804_e0a8e62cf8.jpg?v=0

smell the reality of coffee (Z S), Saturday, 3 October 2009 14:53 (eleven years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.

System, Saturday, 3 October 2009 23:01 (eleven years ago) link

Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.

System, Sunday, 4 October 2009 23:01 (eleven years ago) link

Good, now I can finally get some goddamn SLEEP around here

The World's Biggest Christ (Z S), Sunday, 4 October 2009 23:03 (eleven years ago) link

I'd like to point out that for a long time, the slang phrase "Peace 5000," meaning "Goodbye," referred to this. (It actually refers to the Audi 5000)

And the whole Fatalities thing is the biggest example of this, isn't it?

antexit, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 16:44 (eleven years ago) link

I mean, I thought for a long time that it did.

antexit, Tuesday, 6 October 2009 16:44 (eleven years ago) link

hahaha

babbies forming babbies (s1ocki), Tuesday, 6 October 2009 17:28 (eleven years ago) link

three years pass...

lol, you guys didn't believe me

Nhex, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 18:24 (eight years ago) link

i never liked the word "gamers" denoting someone who is really into video games as a distinguishing part of their identity, which always struck me as weird because everyone plays games of some type, but if "gamers" as a term is now encompassing a wider population who can't beat 1-1, I'm kind of happy about that.

Philip Nunez, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 18:29 (eight years ago) link

wait...there are clouds ABOVE the clouds?!

Z S, Wednesday, 3 July 2013 18:42 (eight years ago) link

Page Not Found
Sorry, we couldn’t find the page you requested.

worldstar (am0n), Wednesday, 3 July 2013 20:17 (eight years ago) link

That's because the source is p4r

Andrew Farrell, Thursday, 4 July 2013 11:34 (eight years ago) link

We watched the replay videos of how the gamers performed and saw that many did not understand simple concepts like bottomless pits. Around 70 percent died to the first Goomba. Another 50 percent died twice. Many thought the coins were enemies and tried to avoid them. Also, most of them did not use the run button. There were many other depressing things we noted but I can not remember them at the moment.

emil.y, Thursday, 4 July 2013 13:17 (eight years ago) link

I have never played the first or any other level of Mario.

ledge, Thursday, 4 July 2013 14:11 (eight years ago) link

Totally unlocked my Goomba achievement

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 4 July 2013 19:52 (eight years ago) link

Rectify that.

I remember (in an Iwata Asks?) that many players couldn't figure out to keep holding the run button while jumping with the NES controller. That's why they made the Gamecube controller with one huge button in the middle, with pads around it.

wombspace (abanana), Thursday, 4 July 2013 19:57 (eight years ago) link

my mom played videogames only once. it was right after we got super mario bros. and the NES. she stood on the left of the screen, not moving, as she stared at the controller in a panic and asked what each of the buttons did (i shutter to think of this process now that controllers have more than two buttons). somehow, minutes elapsed and she still hadn't moved. the counter dropped below 100 and the "HURRY UP or die" music came on. i told her that she needed to hurry up or she would die and she got flustered and angry. finally she pressed the d-pad and slowly walked to the right. she yelled "what do i do?!!?" a few second before she walked straight into the goomba. she then put down the controller and left the room without saying a word, and never played again.

Z S, Thursday, 4 July 2013 21:03 (eight years ago) link

i shutter because i am a camera btw

Z S, Thursday, 4 July 2013 21:03 (eight years ago) link

your mom otm

ledge, Friday, 5 July 2013 09:30 (eight years ago) link

This is crazy to me because I basically stopped playing games in college during the rise of PlayStation 2 and GameCube (so many buttons!)

I picked it back up as a grownup with a Wii. I bought Goldeneye for Wii and it had that "move with one hand,shoot with the other" control that seemed fucking impossible. I sold the game on half.com after playing it like twice. I mainly stick to Mario and Zelda and that game where you connect the goop balls whose name I forget already

bando brothers (Whiney G. Weingarten), Friday, 5 July 2013 13:40 (eight years ago) link

See also Rock Band/Guitar Hero: strumming with one hard and chords with the other, what the shit was that about.

ledge, Friday, 5 July 2013 14:22 (eight years ago) link

"that game where you connect the goop balls"
dr. mario?

i didn't even give much of a fuck that you were mod (forksclovetofu), Saturday, 6 July 2013 03:16 (eight years ago) link

world of goo, i bet

wombspace (abanana), Saturday, 6 July 2013 04:03 (eight years ago) link

That's the one

bando brothers (Whiney G. Weingarten), Saturday, 6 July 2013 04:06 (eight years ago) link

seven years pass...

I was playing through the All-Stars version of Lost Levels last night and discovered the world 4 warp zone in 1-2. I'm 99% sure I missed that one as a kid despite playing that game incessantly for years.

eisimpleir (crüt), Thursday, 15 April 2021 18:33 (three months ago) link


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