ANIMAL CROSSING: NEW HORIZONS

This sad person doesn’t understand that you literally never have to pay off your debts in Animal Crossing

Yeah, even my daughter realizes that.

Or that the raccoons will literally buy moths and sand dollars off you for actual cash

Yeah fuck that person they completely missed the point.

"I didnt play it at all, now or back in 2005 but I will rain shit on it anyway lolz"

the "i only played it for five minutes" stuff is trolling, but as an animal crossing newbie i did find it mildly shocking to start up the game and immediately be in debt and charged with paying your way out of it. you don't have to pay it off, sure, if you want to live in a tent for the whole game, but not advancing/improving is antithetical to playing a video game. what i find dumb is how many articles/tweets/whatever comment on the capitalistic aspects of the game like the author is the one giving a cheeky adult take on it, when the satire/commentary is obviously intentional and part of the game.

the whole game is about buying stuff, which is easy but puts you deeper into debt to the nooks, vs. doing it yourself, which is slightly harder but keeps you outside of the nook inc. monopoly. it's not subtle

Yep. They could have skipped all that and just said “buy an upgrade for your house for 99,000 bells!” and it wouldn’t change the gameplay at all. They made it a loan so they could make funny jokes about landlord/tenant/capitalism stuff that would fly over the heads of children

https://i.imgur.com/XwrEh7i.jpg

my partner played once, put her tent directly in front of my house, and then never came back. I keep sending her gifts that she never sees and it’s starting to remind me of middle school

ok, the tent is sort of to the side, but it’s off-center and it cuts off the walking path along the river, I mean come on

i put D to work i told her if she's going to be player one she has responsibilities and she can't do the fun stuff she wants to do until she labors doing the unlocks so that the rest of the family can enjoy the game. i'm considering this a meta-level explication and analysis for her of the capitalist themes already present in the game.

i zipped through the 5k miles in my first playthrough, looking forward to opening to a house. My partner has no intention of playing this game, which is a bummer.

xp lol

“D, you must make some sacrifices so the rest of us can have more fun”

The price Timmy is willing to pay for imported fruit is a revelation

This has significantly increased the value of having two switches in the house

i finally visited another island (a mystery resource island, basically) and it happened to have the same native fruit as my own (pears). we eat a lot of pears here on Boneyarden

I'm telling you people, need to get on the poxyfule slack so we can share announcements of when airports are open

fun slacks < fun discords tbh (slack doesn't have killfiles)

honestly, i'm afraid that if i get on poxyfule slack i will lose any shred of productivity i ever had, whether working or free-time/creative hours

mark Brokelyn down as another pear island

i did manage to steal a coconut tree from the island i visited, though. hope it's not an invasive species!

whoa how do you steal trees

send me pears

xp

eat your mega native fruit, and attack the tree with a shovel

just looked that up last night so i could do some landscaping around the front of my house

and to steal coconut trees, of course

i built and paid off a house in two days, so i’ve decided i’m moving to this island in real life, it’s the only way i can get ahead in life now

Hey guys it ocurred to me that I am playing southern hem and y'all are playing northern, so we absolutely need to visit each other - opposite season fish and bugs! Right now I got seasonal cicadas, grasshoppers and such til end of March. Tombot I saw you online earlier but your gates werent open dammit.

Alas now I am working for the next 3 hrs.

Oh also I landed on a mystery island y'day and it had BAMBOO all over the place. I assume it will be a future very handy building material so I yoinked as much as I could.

y'all haven't lived until you catch an oarfish

Ive already caught a few of the rarities! Coelocanth, dorado and arapaima!

But New Horizons is also a seriously stressful game. Tom Nook increases your debt about a millionfold in, like, the first 20 minutes. Spiders sprint after you at breakneck speed. And don’t even get me started on how passive-aggressive some of the island’s citizens can be. (They should’ve called this game Crossing Animals, amirite?

wrong! incorrect! this is a chilled out game! it can be a stressful game, in the same way that meditation/yoga can be stressful fi you make it that way

however, the main point of the article is to teach you how to multitask, so i will put up with this nonsense and read on

https://kotaku.com/how-to-multitask-while-playing-animal-crossing-new-hor-1842514200

man, fuck that article

and it doesn’t mention audiobooks/podcasts once

hope more nintendo items appear in-game. got some nice areas setup on my town now: a little beach hangout, a market with stalls, a swap shop... would like to move some residents' houses but it is spenny...

PRO TIP: instead of collecting items around the island and selling them to timmy one at a time, simply roll the rich fucker

lol

tap A to teach timmy a lesson about the real world

my island anthem
https://imgur.com/f3g1rSJ

the second pic is very animal crossing

The seemingly miles of beds being set up at Javits. It is absolutely unreal to see what the National Guard & first responders have put together here in just days. pic.twitter.com/dD0AQg4PO4

— Sarah Boxer (@Sarah_Boxer) March 27, 2020

Heh.

My daughter has learned you can apparently travel to an island full of tarantulas, protect yourself with holes you've dug, and then harvest at will.

it really really annoys me that wallpaper covers up your windows

i want to change my wallpaper but it makes me claustrophobic

Windows vary by wallpaper, try out different ones!

I got the Super Punchout wallpaper. Paired with a dirt floor and a haystack bed. Weird lifestyle I’m leading on Dang Isle, land of ripe peaches

i got so used to the super punchout! wallpaper, my house was like a demonic hellhouse with the glowing oven

I still don’t have a goddamn ladder

i unlocked it late last night, just before i went to bed, and was so tired that i thought "what will i use the ladder for?"

now, it seems obvious!

you'll get it soon tomboto