Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes; it provokes the desire, but it takes away the performance: therefore, much drink may be said to be an equivocator with lechery: it makes him, and it mars him; it sets him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him, and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and not stand to; in conclusion, equivocates him in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him.
― Lamp, Monday, 16 June 2008 05:38 (sixteen years ago) link
Alternate post: My girlfriend accused me of continuing to play videogames while she talking to me. It's true. Now we're not drinking or fucking. What do I do?
― Lamp, Monday, 16 June 2008 05:40 (sixteen years ago) link
yeah jessica has some bazooms
― El Tomboto, Monday, 16 June 2008 05:49 (sixteen years ago) link
tell her your frequent erections are for her to do with as she pleases and if she wants more than that then good fuckin' luck on the circuit
― El Tomboto, Monday, 16 June 2008 05:50 (sixteen years ago) link
I heard those were Pavan's last, heartbroken words to Sasha in the Japanese version of the game.
― Lamp, Monday, 16 June 2008 05:58 (sixteen years ago) link
about 40 hours in on playthrough #2 (this time it's for keeps!) and a few thoughts
1. the knowledge to build and operate an alchemy pot has got to be some close-hold black helicopter shit because there's no way you could let people play with these things willy-nilly and expect a barter economy to survive - clearly king trode, despite his ignorance of the scepter's significance, has been keeping good notes on THIS (and who can blame him, it basically prints money, or should I say moon's mercy)
1a. interestingly, however, the fortune-teller's trade is a common one, and valued at jack of all shit in the epoch our adventure occupies; compare and contrast with the 21st century where the "knowledge worker" and "creative" class rule the roost and people who make things are regarded as either the globe's poo-poo or at best a troop of rustic craftsmen who just couldn't deal with a real career; in the age of equities trading it's the motherfuckers with the crystal balls who run the show and not some lil' dude with a pot in his wagon
2. the party structure, even given the addition of the monster team (Donkey Force Alpha, if you must ask, maxed out the 18 character limit, that's right) argues for small elite units in military operations and takes a very clear stance against conscription; sure the world is full of tough guys and bad-asses and all manner of talented privateers, but any mission worth doing demands a far more discriminate bunch of revenge-bent lunatics highly motivated individuals
2a. in contrast to 1a, we see this actually playing out in modern times, where asymmetric warfare has become the rule and laggardly divisions of draftees are the exception
3. I'm certainly not the first to point this out but it is quite disappointing that the simple switch from fishnet stockings to the much more effective ruby of protection as an accessory means having to give up the bunny girl costume altogether. That shit doesn't even make any sense.
4. Man I'm happy I read the gameFAQs this time around, jesus
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 17 July 2008 09:22 (fifteen years ago) link
oh and 5. is Jessica adopted or is it just me
or perhaps she has the same problem as Angelo/Marcello, right place, wrong parent? Actually that goes for the Hero as well I suppose, man these kids are all fucked up
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 17 July 2008 09:24 (fifteen years ago) link
this shit is so much more enjoyable to think about than my job or the economy, unfortunately it keeps me up just as late (but less drunk)
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 17 July 2008 09:26 (fifteen years ago) link
That is the best thing I've ever read, Tombot.
― Abbott, Wednesday, 23 July 2008 03:15 (fifteen years ago) link
5. Marcello's speech to the gathered boojwahzee on Neos is great; the whole game's plotline (bloodline? lol!) is rooted in the business of family descent, and then he just stands in front of everyone and goes off on how meritocracy is the way of the future also PS. fuk u if u disagree
5a. Sounds vaguely acceptable at first but then you realize he's actually a proto-fascist or a pretty boy bolshevik, especially the part where he calls out the Goddess as just another false idol. It's a nicely done moment because at this point you've been to Tyran Gully and dealt with all sorts of discrimination yourselves, this fuckwit up on the dais may be ahead of the curve on a couple of points but one more putsch and he's going to be gassing the fatties and belt-sanding the nuts off every male who doesn't enlist in the Templars. Compared to Marcello that Charmles looks harmless, amirite.
5b. The bit after DQ9/11 happens and Angelo saves him almost out of spite is money. "You know I REALLY don't care," in the Jude Law voice and everything. I basically never gave two shits about Angelo outside of casting Multiheal until he said that.
6. Pickham is an interesting social experiment, a bit sci-fi really. Why does every city have to have its own accompanying slums? Why not just have one city that's all the slums at once? The dregs of every major area wind up sleeping on the dusty floors in a den of thieves and fighting over scraps. Plus you put it just far enough out of the way that they don't bother anyone else, except to consume the occasional gambling addict who can't afford to sail to Baccarat anymore. The whole Swordsman's Labyrinth fetch-quest could practically be a John Carpenter film by way of Sam Raimi.
― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 20 August 2008 22:36 (fifteen years ago) link
7. Are Slimes the Jews of monsterdom?
― El Tomboto, Wednesday, 20 August 2008 22:48 (fifteen years ago) link
Angelo is kind of dreamy.
Oh my god to what new lows can a lady sink?
― Abbott, Thursday, 21 August 2008 18:41 (fifteen years ago) link
http://i46.photobucket.com/albums/f105/ELEmblem/puff/102206057.jpg
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 21 August 2008 18:53 (fifteen years ago) link
Oh right. :(
Wikipedia, re 'Dragon Warrior': Regarding the Japanese version, in the town that the hero first buys keys, a woman offers to provide "puff-puff" to the Hero. This was changed in the American release as the woman asks if the hero would like to purchase tomatoes.
1. Tomatoes! 2. So puff-puffs have been around a while.
― Abbott, Thursday, 21 August 2008 23:52 (fifteen years ago) link
How many times have you played this thing through, Tombot?
Also DQ IV redo coming out for DS soon, wootles.
― Abbott, Thursday, 21 August 2008 23:53 (fifteen years ago) link
I feel diminished and saddened that I spent all my time playing considering the stastical ramifications of an extra point of attack power and )not joking( calculating damage modifiers instead of wondering at the larger philosophical and sociological ramifications of DQ8.
Corollary: I spent hours trying to gauge what monster team was most effective in the S-level battle only to find that, to my chagrin, my team looked exactly like the one in the GameFAQs FAQ.
― Lamp, Friday, 22 August 2008 03:21 (fifteen years ago) link
this is only my second playthrough, and much improved from my first. I've been going through it like butter this time, aided in no small part by bothering to follow up on the side quests.
― El Tomboto, Friday, 22 August 2008 04:01 (fifteen years ago) link
My FIRST go at the S Rank, one of My Three Golems stuck the liquid metal slime with a critical hit coming right out of the gate, after that it was mop-up by Mazin.
― El Tomboto, Friday, 22 August 2008 04:02 (fifteen years ago) link
Yeah, I used the Golems to beat S as well. Best team may actually be the two metal slimes + cureslime.
― Lamp, Friday, 22 August 2008 04:15 (fifteen years ago) link
two metal slimes + cureslime aren't going to put 1200+ damage up in a single round, though, are they
― El Tomboto, Friday, 22 August 2008 04:17 (fifteen years ago) link
I dropped off playing this not too long after Tittys McGee's heelturn and started playing Rogue Galaxy instead. I wonder what Level 5's been up to, aside from the Prof Layton series.
― kingfish, Friday, 22 August 2008 05:11 (fifteen years ago) link
Pretty sure Magic Burst does 1000+ damage. Not the best for the arena but they're hard to kill and Hev has 999 defence.
Wasn't someone on another thread asking about this?
― Lamp, Friday, 22 August 2008 15:50 (fifteen years ago) link
Hero = Jim Thorpe
I'm done for now, on to FF12.
― El Tomboto, Thursday, 11 September 2008 20:06 (fifteen years ago) link
I figure slimes are cute to make up for their lack of strength. They are cute enough that adventurers like me don't want to kill them. It's an evolutionary advantage.
― abanana, Friday, 12 September 2008 00:07 (fifteen years ago) link
I have, I think, an hour left on this game, from like a year ago, and I've never finished it. (Last I battled was some weird vadge/flame boss?)
Should I go finish this up? Somehow I'm scared to!
― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Friday, 12 December 2008 23:06 (fifteen years ago) link
yeah you have to finish it so you can start over again and give everybody different skills
― El Tomboto, Friday, 12 December 2008 23:31 (fifteen years ago) link
or did you get pretty much everything on the first play-through? (my three golems, jessica's best gear, the underpants dance, etc)
― El Tomboto, Friday, 12 December 2008 23:32 (fifteen years ago) link
dude wtf
― TOMBOT, Thursday, 18 December 2008 08:49 (fifteen years ago) link
huh?
― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Friday, 19 December 2008 02:11 (fifteen years ago) link
started playing DQIV today, first DQ I've played
surprised by the scots accents in the first area : )
― cozwn, Friday, 19 December 2008 02:14 (fifteen years ago) link
abbott did you fire it back up and end this thing or what, is what I was dude wtf abt
― TOMBOT, Friday, 19 December 2008 05:02 (fifteen years ago) link
No, but I think about doing that every couple of hours.
― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Saturday, 20 December 2008 00:55 (fifteen years ago) link
I thought you were "dude wtf" about the username switching from El Tomboto to TOMBOT. I thought you had been hacked by psychotic teens.
― (Z S) (Z S), Saturday, 20 December 2008 03:57 (fifteen years ago) link
Abbott, you have to beat it. If you don't, you'll regret it the rest of your life.
In 2005 I got to the very end of Xenogears, but I didn't finish. I forget what happened. There was some sort of bullshit problem where I had saved but I was near death with no possibility of recovery, or I was missing some item, or something. Either way, it stung. And to this day, when I hear the word Xenogears - and trust me, it's every day, every day - I cringe. Now go beat Dragon Quest VIII, NOW!
― (Z S) (Z S), Saturday, 20 December 2008 04:00 (fifteen years ago) link
i feel bad about signing you up for that xenogears e-bulletin now
― ice cræm and cæk (Lamp), Sunday, 21 December 2008 17:54 (fifteen years ago) link
Well, I did go and beat the game last night. I had, seriously, just the one final boss battle to go (with hideous morbidly obese purple demon Rhapthorne). And I realize now why I let it languish so long – I didn't want it to end. I didn't want to say goodbye to that good friend.
I'm glad I did it, though.
― Abbott of the Trapezoid Monks (Abbott), Sunday, 21 December 2008 19:15 (fifteen years ago) link
Now you can finally move on with the rest of your life. Though, you don't have to say goodbye to that good friend. You could say hello to that good friend in a new way, a la Tom, by beating it in a more complete and exhaustive manner.
― (Z S) (Z S), Sunday, 21 December 2008 19:51 (fifteen years ago) link
so this came out a week or two ago on iphone/ipad, and i'm finally going to play it (ipad style)! it's supposed to be a decent port (http://toucharcade.com/2014/05/29/dragon-quest-viii-review/).
if anyone else wants to join me on this epic quest it would be cool! please note that i am really slow and will not be beating this in 2 weeks or anything close to it.
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 12 June 2014 14:48 (ten years ago) link
I'm still waiting for this to be ported to a DS system or to HD more or less
― Nhex, Thursday, 12 June 2014 14:50 (ten years ago) link
from that review:
As for the iOS port, it's not quite as good as you might hope. Since this is just a translated version of the Japanese release, the orchestrated music and voice acting found only in the western PS2 release are out. The orchestrated music, I can live without, since it was recorded at low quality and bloated the game's loading times, but losing the voice acting hurts. Reading Yangus say "Cor Blimey!" just isn't the same as hearing it, and some of the jokes have a lot less punch in text, like the gags around Prince Charmles' name. Tailored for the train-faring Japanese population the game is played in portrait mode, which is going to seem like an odd choice for some people. I actually like being able to play one-handed, but there's no doubt the lack of horizontal space cuts down on the feeling of grandness in some of the game's environments. The controls themselves take a little getting used to, but after an adjustment period, I didn't have any problems with them. It's certainly a unique interface, but it ends up working out fine.
don't really care about the music because i'm usually playing ipad games on silent mode while my gf sleeps, and same with the voice acting. and actually i wouldn't care about the voice acting even if i had the sound on. i almost always hate voice acting in video games. bah humbug.
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 12 June 2014 15:15 (ten years ago) link
fuck this ipad shit hook yr PS2 up already and play it legit
― dude (Lamp), Thursday, 12 June 2014 16:20 (ten years ago) link
i'm lazy man, so lazy
― Nhex, Thursday, 12 June 2014 16:24 (ten years ago) link
i never bought a ps2
i had a ps1 but haven't had a sony device since
― Karl Malone, Thursday, 12 June 2014 16:26 (ten years ago) link
i'm apparently about 10 hours in, although i don't trust the game clock. i don't think i've spent ten HOURS already (have i? oh god). i think i'm about to get angelo to join the party, except i'm embarrassingly having trouble finding the secret underground entrance to the sanctuary or whatever. they gave me clear instructions - head toward Simpleton but stay close to the river until you get to the ruins - but somehow, even though i see the little dot on the map where the ruins are, it's blocked off by the landscape and every 8 seconds i have to deal with a random encounter. maybe i should cast padfoot so i have some more time to explore. on the other hand i'm getting some much needed leveling up in while i wander. i fear that i spent too much time in simpleton village at the tavern and now i too am a true Simpleton.
my hero is named DIRKBURT.
the game itself is a lot of fun, and i like the characters. i feel like i probably don't exploit the tension system enough, and i probably rely on 'fight wisely' tactic way too much. part of that has to do with the menu system, and i'm not sure if it's in the original or if it's an iPad modification. but basically, any deviation from the fight wisely tactic results in several button presses. and it's especially cumbersome when switching weapons in the middle of a battle (which is often necessary to use certain abilities):
- tap DIRKBURT's options pane- tap "items"- tap the new weapon to select it- tap the new weapon to equip it- tap to close out of the options pane
it's not really a huge deal in isolation, it's that you have to do it so often. it would have been really cool to add a quick weapons switch button to streamline the process.
i especially enjoy how every village has a burly S&M guy wearing a horned mask.
― Karl Malone, Saturday, 14 June 2014 14:54 (ten years ago) link
Tailored for the train-faring Japanese population the game is played in portrait mode, which is going to seem like an odd choice for some people. I actually like being able to play one-handed, but there's no doubt the lack of horizontal space cuts down on the feeling of grandness in some of the game's environments.
bummer. this game is so pleasant and mainly because of the big, colorful environments.
― original bgm, Sunday, 15 June 2014 17:58 (ten years ago) link
I know the olympics are bad but pretty awesome to see all the teams march out to Dragon Quest music lol
― Daniel_Rf, Friday, 23 July 2021 12:07 (two years ago) link
I hope someone puts up a video of this
― Nhex, Friday, 23 July 2021 12:27 (two years ago) link
stopped watching but apparently they played some Sonic too!
― Daniel_Rf, Friday, 23 July 2021 12:29 (two years ago) link