iPhone games (also Ipod Tooch/iPad games too)

oh no I think you misapprehend my motivations - this is SCIENCE now

please report back

On the 8th dimension now. Here's some notes on the bosses. The schema is as follows:

Number, Name, "Special Move"
So Easy The Computer Beats Them On Auto Without You Having To Do Anything? (or why not?)
Name and description of "Lair of Despair" form (after you beat them, they appear in the LoD, where all the monsters are worth more money, but get this, they're goofy)

1, Julius, "Fugue"
Yup
Cutelius, a lion cub

2, Alexandria, "Double Strike"
Yes, in fact
Lexums, a cat with a ball of yarn

3, Gaaan, "Kerfuffle"
Indeed
Gaanji, a terrier

4, Garrik, "Quake," "Reform"
Yessir
Telwick, a tortoise

5, Demora, "Rise From The Grave"
No. Not if you have any healers in your party. If you do, she'll only take damage from healing spells, and it takes FOREVER. She exists as a way of making sure you can't steamroll on auto all the way to level 700. Good idea. I can run a Knight/Mage/Healer/Mage/Thief all the way up to level 499 without touching anything, then I have to pick up the thing and micromanage the shit out of everybody for like 10 minutes? WHAT KIND OF GAME IS THIS A FLIGHT SIMULATOR
Lil' Daisy, a maltese with a bow on her head

6, Binary, "Bit Shift"
TRUE
Gizmo, a toy robot

7, Tengen, "Fury Chop," "Fighting Spirit"
No. On his first turn he immediately scares off (i.e. instantly defeats) anybody who isn't in the Fighter class. It's about the dumbest goddamn thing in the world. Once again a tricky bit of turbulence to navigate on this otherwise uneventful farming expedition! Clever move, Armor Games!
I don't fucking know I haven't bothered

I'll fill in the rest as I progress!
There's only about 500 youtubes about this shit, because WHY???? but don't watch them, they're full of spoilers and they don't warn you.

my apologies to your immediate family

from a distance i see that it's not healthy but i respect it

Oh the auto play function has done wonders for my screen time. Select bozo one two three four five. Check gear one two yup yup looks fine. HAVE FUN STORMING THE DUNGEON

at this point you put the phone down and can just pick it up on occasion to make sure they didn't all get killed. Like I said, the dumbness level is kind of astounding. Does my flight simulator joke make more sense now?

Anyone played the sorcery! games? Any cop?

I read glowing reviews of them and treasure the memory of the books - they're on my wishlist.

Yes. They're great, like 80 Days but not as hyped. They're a lot more fun if you discipline yourself not to use the rewind option, IMO. Books: better with permadeath!

I played the first Sorcery and liked it.

Thanks! £5 spent

Love 'em. Play through them in order: each game gives you a code you can use to portage yr. inventory from one game to the next.

Soda Dungeon update!

OK so the only two bosses with a twist are the ones I already "complained" about up above - with sufficient buffs your party will walk through the entire rest of the game, including the "final" boss, on autoplay. Autoplay mode does not stop for dialogue boxes, it does not stop for treasure selection screens, it does not stop to make you choose between divergent paths, it'll just wait a little bit and then keep going. I have no idea what it's like to fight the 9th dungeon boss, or the giant extra-dimensional alien at the "end," other than a deep and abiding hunch that they are 1) the dumbest 2) easily crushed by the repeated application of the technique known as "tapping"

Now I'm in the WARRIOR DIMENSION and apparently there is some other stuff you can do, like collect bottle caps and shit? At this point though my relic buffs are so intense that five junkies in their underwear with a single stool and broken bottle among them can get all the way to level 240-something in the Lair of Despair before something finally wipes them out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4Dc-J_mD7c

I really wish they would add more levels to Mario Run. It's a fun game but there are hardly any levels, and it gets pretty dull pretty fast. How expensive could it really be for Nintendo just to release a few more levels? I feel they they really weren't listening to people here

And now Nintento has updated the game, changing around a bunch of stuff and adding some things. But still no new levels.

i really hate them for the fact that you need to be connected to play this game. i hadn't realised that when buying it before going on a long plane ride, imagine my disappointment on board.

yeah. designed to cut down on piracy, I'm sure, but it doesn't work well. It sometimes glitches after I finish a level and won't save my progress. Also how hard is it to offer an online mode?

Yeah, I finally finished everything, I have 9999 toads, and I'd love some new levels. I'd even pay another $5 or something.

Soda Dungeon has at least 4,697 levels! No online mode for some reason

I've got Realm Grinder lined up next. I'm going to get to the bottom of this "idle RPG" phenomenon.

21,802 on Pac-Man 256

*drops mic*

this is how michael jordan must have felt when he first retired in 1993

what game will be your baseball?

Possibly the new version of MLB the show, which I'm terrible at. Maybe there's a minor league mode where I can be appropriately terrible.

These Sorcery games are top fun for sure. First one is a bit short for £5 but it ticks up from there quickly

Stagehand is maddening.

freeways u guys. its so good

new thread is here dude

Thread for iOS games 2017-2023: shame, loathing and recommendations

For all you super hexagon junkies out there:
https://tocogames.itch.io/infinitepizza
unfortunately windows only

Townscaper

More of a beautiful toy than an actual game. Recommended.

ooooh did not know there was an iphone version. insta-buy

sold me

I have been playing star battle go (ie. the New York Times Two No Touch game) a genuinely sickening amount this month

Lol I have knocked out about 150 easy puzzles. I still don’t quite get the hard ones

I’m on expert! Medium wasn’t too bad, you just have to be fastidious/obsessive and taking a break helps if you’re stuck. The Experts are similar to Medium but at some point you have to dive in and start guessing several moves ahead… fortunately the undo button makes this (slightly) less existentially terrifying. Medium is probably a bit more fun - I feel more rewarded by slow deduction work than “planning out a quadrillion moves ahead” work

Wow have I ever become addicted to this. I don’t have a “medium” though (unless I missed an IAP) - just easy and hard.

Yes, I meant easy hard and expert. That’s on the iOS version of star battle go.

Back in IOS after 5 years on Android and the only thing I’m missing so far is a decent simple Mahjong game. Do any of you have recommendations? Looking for something with a timer for ADHD hyper focus tapathons ideally

Townscaper

More of a beautiful toy than an actual game. Recommended.

― lukas, Thursday, October 21, 2021 9:51 AM (one month ago)

Playing this in a browser and it is honestly easier and more fun with the hover preview telling you where you're about to build.

I wonder if iPhone / iPad will ever get something like that?

http://oskarstalberg.com/Townscaper/

agreed - press should be hover and release to place it

i wanted this to have more complexity and gamishness to it.

let go

High Rise is great plane fodder. I wish more iOS games worked without wifi.

i need y’all to watch this ad for a game i just got served on instagram pic.twitter.com/ywcywCJsQd

— helen (@helen) December 9, 2021

I am way too much of a sucker for F2P season pass mechanics.
Marvel Snap is pretty fun, gotta say

I like Marvel Snap but it doesn't grab me like Marvel Puzzle Quest did. I like the idea that you can only buy cosmetic improvements to your cards in theory, but I'm not super motivated to make my cards shinier. I like the announcement of the upgrade of a card (THREE DEEEEE) more than the upgrade itself.

the fancier/more expensive they get, the more bauble-y

the upgrades are really just to make the feedback loop going, where you get more cards. but at the certain point (probably around lvl 250?) you start being resource-constrained. thankfully the game is still very playable by that point, you should have a ton of cards and possible decks

still playing Snap. i played constantly the past week to go from rank 60 to 65 and back to 59, worse than i started for the season

filled for hatred for myself and life in general, why do i do this to myself

maybe best to break for awhile?