which city for GTA 5?

and then pops up the message: "other players are voting to kick you. improve your behavior to stay in the session".

That is the bitchiest ass thing.

I'm still trying to rack up wins on the second character to get stuff like Turbo. Hard as hell when no one runs in non-custom races and I can't compete with someone who's got the turbo.

This crewmember and I did swap off wins on some straight-line route on the big bridge by the docks. He also got me my rally-race wins. But I'm still short like a dozen wins form getting anything cool.

you know what i'm bummed about, in retrospect? that out of some sense of honor i didn't buy all the air/water/military etc vehicles back when everyone had a $1bil in cheater money. a lot of them are pretty useless ($500k for a bus?) but would have been fun

Never thought about that. I got the Buzzard and that was about it. (I was ranked too low to get a tank at the time.)

Get a bus, drive into a firefight, get exploded inevitably. Order a new one, get bus, drive into firefight... hell, I'd turn the chatter back on for an event like that.

I did get a Mule for one of the glitches, but I've never gotten anyone to ride in the back.

Blowing up a Barracks vehicle full of kids one afternoon still one of my guiltiest moments, especially when the passengers started accusing the driver of "setting us up!"

you know what, i forgot about that shit being level locked. maybe i did snatch up everything i could at the time heh.

and now that i dig into it, i guess you can't buy the cargobob. which is what brought this deep intense regret on: doing a couple missions with randos where you have to grab a cargobob and getting hella frustrated by it.

xp oh lol

Kept the PS3 turned off all last week. I could be working on a new comic strip or something were it not for this game. The last slide I've got on my Time Magazine tumblr of the week is a shot from Ron Howard's "Grand Theft Auto". Getting bored with Google Maps and this game's release coincided a little too neatly.

But that said, I turned it on this weekend.

Started playing especially after I read about another new glitch, the Jesus Glitch. What you do is go down by the docks next to the helipad, go into cover holding your pistol with your feet in the ocean, and creep down the side to where your nose is in the water. Aim your gun and when you do, the game tries to rectify the situation of you holding a gun underwater by lifting you up to where you're submerged waist high. Go back to the ramp, walk up a little ways and then back down, and voila, you can now walk on water.

What's happening is that you've placed yourself on a different level. Go all the way up the ramp, out through the parking lot, up the embankment toward the tram tracks and then come back. Now you're walking 25 feet in the air, eye level with traffic lights.

This glitch turns the game into a whole other thing. It's almost like Katamari to see how high you can get. There are hazards everywhere. Step up on certain curbs or up steps, and the glitch fails. As you walk north toward higher altitudes, and your feet begin meeting the ground again, your character goes into this weird looking duckwalk. Your head is about chest level to everyone else. You learn fast to look both ways crossing the street since getting hit by a car knocks you out of the glitch.

Cautious, that is, until you turn around and start going back the way you came, getting higher than everyone. If you can get get about four or five feet off the ground, you can kick the shit out of some people. You can also get a good close look at some of the places around town that you can't see in detail from a chopper or parachute. Damn, now that I think of it, I need to go over to the CIA Building and look inside that window where you snipe the guy.

http://i.imgur.com/wxO3di8.jpg

I tried the glitch out in several sessions. One guy in an open session knew the trick too. We kept running around, shooting sailboat drivers and watching the passengers dive off the boat. I headed toward Rodeo Drive at one point, hiding behind billboards as other players tried to shoot me. (Can't blame them, I'd do the same thing too if I saw some nut walking around 80 feet in the air. Found a hidden wall breach by the hospital down there that was big enough for just one person. Finally got shot down. Wish I knew what it looked like when my bloody corpse fell on to the pavement next to someone's feet.

Got invited to a crew session. Saw they were all at LSC. By the time I got there, I was about even with the roof over the garage that you can access from the ladders. They were showing off cars and I just dropped beer bottles inside their Dubsta beds. Later went to the airport and had one of them hit me with a Lazer. That looked awesome.

Another thing I tried was going down instead of up. There's a wall breach under some steps next to the canal near Vespucci Beach. With some trial and error, I got to the level it took to walk right through it. Instead of falling and respawning on the street, I just kept walking! You can shoot people from under the pavement and they'll never see you. The further east you go, the higher up the buildings get above you. You can look around and see which ones are hollow and which ones have stuff in them. All of the apartments, for example, are hollow except for where the garages enter. Then you can see a short ramp that ends in nothing, just so a passerby doesn't see a gaping void when your door opens.

http://i.imgur.com/gV37OIa.jpg

I walked all the way to the damn prison, since I've never been able to really look inside except for that deathmatch. You can see straight up into the guard towers, the spiral staircases that lead up. You can hear the guards on the P.A. The prisoners hanging out, smoking cigarettes. Even my footsteps down in the void changed to steps on concrete, echoing off the walls.

But while you don't have to look both ways crossing the street, there are other hazards. Like water. I saw the water first by the golf course when everything turned blue and wavy, but I was able to breathe in it. However, after leaving the prison and heading toward the military base, I crossed that stream that feeds between Salton Sea and the ocean and drowned. Who knew that it was that deep?

http://i.imgur.com/iKw04iS.jpg

There's also a new dupe glitch that involves trapping a hooker in your car, shooting her, and then keeping her body in the passenger seat as you rearrange your garage. I forgot one final step and wound up selling my original Adder. So now I've got four Adder dupes in my garage that I can't sell. Well. They make for good ignition explosion bait at any rate.

It's going to be very hard to gauge this:

http://i.imgur.com/l9VuaSk.jpg

The CIA room that gets shot up is at the bottom. You can see the shadow of something in the room against the wall, where the walls of the other floors are blank.

And if you look up a ways, top and center, you can see my shadow holding up the cell phone. Shadow almost looks like he's standing on one of the floors.

This new dupe-and-sell glitch is the easiest one yet. Killing the prostitute's the only hard part, and that's just a mind thing.

Read a strategy guide and invested all my money ($238,317) in Betta pharm before killing the guy

Now I'm riiiiiiiiiiiiichhhhhhhhh!!!!

there's a "money plan" for the 1p game that can get you enough $$ to buy the golf course before the final heist

Hah I'll go look it up

Already regretting not taking Castro to the Altruists Club instead of the Golf Club

Holy shit 'Uppers' is in the gta 5 soundtrack

To be more accurate

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=muAvU0I3GKE

Between this and "Trey Baker" . . .

Aw man just got to the "Is Trevor a hipster" dialogue

Suspicions confirmed

man i just had the most unhinged sexually abusive chatter slung at me last night. by a 10 year old.

apparently coming in ahead of him and his crew (but not winning!) 3 races in a row was a big trigger for him. "get that [goole] kid, i hate him!" i hadn't said a word, only plugged in my headset because ppl were talking and i hate hearing it out of my tv speakers.

iirc the same dude did win all 3, and they had no problem w/ him. sometimes people just don't like you i guess. i did shake off a fair number of wreck attempts tho. that tends to make dudes mad.

really tho, nothing like a high-pitched stream of sexualized garbage in your ear from a kid who clearly doesn't know what half the words mean

Pretty much keep it on Crew + Friends all the time. Not even because of the sexist or racist shit, just get tired of hearing tweenagers squeal "Don't shoot me!" from across the map.

Just send 'em one of these next time.

http://i.imgur.com/KZJ9NRK.jpg

i'd love to have tight loltext game but that would require one of those chatpad things

pplains you are the man

the game really hasn't been working well lately. when i try to load into online it often fails to find a session. when I try to launch a mission the screen sometimes freezes. The new On Call thing is cool in theory but I hate waiting around for a minute and then suddenly I get dropped in a race I have no interest in like Stairway to Heaven or whatever. When I want to race I want to race NOW wahhhhhhhhh

On the other hand I really like the changes they made to Coveted and Rooftop Rumble to make them less boring.

yeah same

yeah, its been increasingly glitchy lately - and not the good kind of glitchy, the 'i can't play' glitchy.

Online loading times just painful. And I feel like I'd trade some grafx for responsiveness and frame rate.

i'm no developer but it's pretty embarrassing how bad some of this shit is. like, there have been 183762451 online shooters already, how can it be this hard to get 16 people into a lobby? isn't there a best practice already on this?

lol on a whim i just check rockstar support and there was a red dead update on 6/30/14

With the right co-players, Survival can be one of the best modes, I reckon.

I haven't played a Survival in a long time. Seems like a waste of bullets for $20K when you can just do Rooftop for the 239084uth time and make $18750.

Also, n00bs kept jumping into the dumpster with me.

Every once in awhile I'll find myself in a mission that you don't see very often and it'll pay out like 40k and I'm like ... why don't I do this one more. But for some reason I have no idea which contact missions pay well apart from Rooftop and Coveted.

Potshot ain't bad.

Some other one where Trevor says he woke up next to a cop with handcuffs on.

even after subsequent changes i think this holds up

http://joohnchoe.com/blog-home/mission_guide_for_gta_online_post_110/

you can also dig into your menus somewhere and find a list of all the events in the game (w/ undone ones marked out somehow iirc)

the first time you do a mission the payout is double.

thing i figured out like a week or so ago: your "inventory" in the quick menu is badly laid out but hella useful. you can store up to 10 body armors and pop another one on via menu whenever you want. i guess i haven't tried it on deathmatches but on survival and missions i know you can use it.

snacks replenish health (with some variability, idk what each one is supposed to give you). if you are locked in cover it skips the eating animation and you can bump up to full health immediately. just don't get stuck in the menu when you need to move and shoot again.

I can't remember what I did exactly - I either crashed the plane or I jumped out of the plane - all because I was trying to hang up my cellphone.

I learned about the GTA Flop, where you hit circle after you hit square on the PS3, causing you to go limp after you jump in the air. It only seems to work in SP, I was trying it out on Michael. Remembered a cool wall breach under the Zacanudo tunnel where this could come in handy, so I stole a car and went on my way.

As I'm going up there, some guy steals a motorcycle and activates a side mission or whatever you call those things. I knock the guy off the bike, realize it's a Bati, and drive on toward the base even though the caption says "Return Bike to Owner". After awhile, the caption disappears and the little yellow save circle starts turning, silently judging me. Uh-huh. I have made a decision that will affect me for the rest of the game, haven't I?

Anyway. I make it to the bridge leading into the tunnel when I sideswipe a trailer and die. Next thing I know, I'm all the way back in fucking Los Santos with $5K withdrawn from my account. Man, fuck that SP shit. I might not be able to flop online, but I can sure hold on to my millions when I die and stay in the same zip code.

I forgot there was a single player mode tbh.

i went to make a nice playlist of my fave missions, aaand turns out you can't add things to playlists that aren't bookmarked. and it doesn't let you bookmark contact missions anymore. i guess this was an anti-farming measure from one the updates? or maybe you never could? idk. sucks tho.

I see the Coveted playlists every so often. I think some contact mission playlists were grandfathered in.

yeah you can only do coveted, not even rooftop. I think it was always like this? Maybe you could do rooftop before but none of the others?

Also the name Rooftop Rumble bothers me because a rooftop is not involved

and the mission "Death from Above" is not listed in the in-game menus anywhere? this game is so slapped together

xps hmm ok

lol i was never high enough lvl to play RR back when it involved the #actual rooftop of that garage

i think they nerfed it early on by putting everyone on the ground floor then denerfed it later to trim some of the abuse. i wonder if/what their internal stats are on gameplay and what % that mission sucks up

i'd be more cool with the "hafta call a dude to get a story mission" mechanic if they'd scrap the "dudes call you to whine about work vaguely" mechanic

wait there WAS an actual rooftop involved at one point? weird

I dunno it makes sense to me. They're trying to create incentives for you to give them money as a shortcut to success. If you can build an efficient moneymaking playlist then why ever give them money?

The online game was imo built around the idea that it wouldn't be as financially viable as it has been, and the fact that all the updates have been free so far is a good sign. Not that I wouldn't pay money for a Gay Tony or an Undead Nightmare or etc. but the people who buy money in-game are helping to keep the servers running and the game freely updated for cheapskates like myself. If I have to work a little harder to get that Zentorno I'll just deal with it.

They say the names for Rooftop Rumble and High Priority Case (where you retrieve a briefcase from the top of that high-rise construction site) got switched somehow. I don't buy that since "High Priority Case" is actually a pretty good name for that mission.

Rooftop is more difficult than it used to be, but players have managed to make it go by easy. I played it way too many times last weekend since it was RPx2, and most of the time, I'd barely be finished clearing the garage before someone had already shot the documents driver and started heading up to Martin's. Most of my time in that mission was spent farting around with the host at the base of that bridge that goes toward the eastern LSC, blowing up cars in the intersection or knocking out glass with baseball bats.

Coveted is pretty tough now. The new location of the container plus the new location of the drop location + enemy helicopters and suddenly people fuck it up a lot more than they used to. You have to coordinate your efforts a bit. One person shoots down the helicopters while the other keeps the cargobob out of harm's way.

Rooftop by comparison is pretty doable on 1p.

tbh, I always thought the hardest part of RR were the Grangers attacking you on the way to Martin's. It was difficult enough with another person riding shotgun getting past those guys, much less impossible trying to drive and shoot solo. Would've been way out of line back in the day for someone to sit back at the garage waiting for the mission to end.

But now, that's the easiest part, leaving the other crew members to play dumb games like "Who Can Stand Up in the Truck Bed the Longest?" while one solo driver makes the lonely trip up into the Vinewood Hills.

I experienced two of the worst mission players this weekend.

First guy's on a mic, already a red flag. As we're grinding out Rooftop again, he's popping off about how he's got this playlist with stuff like Potshot on it that'll net a whole bunch more RP. Out of curiosity and mostly to get him to stfu, I message him with Send Invite. The mission finishes and he invites me to the playlist.

I can't remember the names, but the missions are all out in Sandy Shores. I can only hear about half of what he's saying because his mic is all garbled and he's talking just non-fucking-stop. He's saying that he has to hover the chopper here to spawn correctly for the next mission. I have to drive him there in his car or it won't work right. I start wondering if he's talking about glitching or what. No, it just turns out that he's fucking insane.

Before we start Potshots, he tells me as we're sitting in his car to pull him out of the driver's seat by pressing triangle and that's how it goes by faster. I've heard something like this in the car dupes, but when I try it, it only makes my character walk back to the passenger side. So he says, Ok, that's cool, I get you don't know it, I'm going to take a leak and we'll try it when I come back. He then gets out of the car and walks into some bushes beside the road and turns his back on me. I sit there for a little bit and then move to the driver's seat so he can show me this cool triangle move he's got.

He comes back and is surprised that I'm still sitting there. "What? You didn't start the mission? OK, you drive." I'm smdh anyway at this dude, but gun it down the dirt road to where the van we're supposed to intercept in. Finally, at long last, I can clearly understand this guy because he starts FREAKING OUT and going NO NO NO NO NO.

The van gets by us because nobody thought to shoot at it. We switch seats and I start trying to shoot at it as he drives. NOT AN AP PISTOL, USE THE MICRO SMG. Who the fuck still carries one of those? AP pistol works well enough in Rooftop Rumble, a mission I am now dearly missing.

Mission finally ends and we start the next and final mission in the playlist, a repeat of Potshots. He finally shows me what he meant by the triangle trick -- it's pulling an NPC driver out of his car (or van.) THAT secret glitch that no one knows about, right? He then shows how you can ignore the GPS line and go in a straight path, how easing up on the acceleration pedal works better than hitting the brake, and how you have to park the van inside the yellow beacon inside Trevor's garage.

I haven't been so ... not angry or frustrated... flummoxed? by another player like this in a game. At the final screen announcing the end of the playlist, he was all OK, OK, WAIT A SECOND, DON'T PRESS ANYTHING ... OK. PRESS SQUARE AND WE CAN REPLAY IT AGAIN. I mashed on the X button and poor guy was all, "Oh. OK. No, that's cool that you don't want to do this again."

The other guy who was the worst? Just a non-crew member who opened fire on me when I picked up the package in RR. I messaged him "Did you just try to shoot me?" and I get a message saying "Other players are trying to kick you out. Improve your behaviour!"

So the next RR mission starts, he's back, and we both make it to the package at the same time. I hit my player action and do an exaggerated face palm. He grabs the package and takes off. I head back to the host to see if I can climb up the building and land on his car. As I'm doing this, I see "Asshole_player has died. Collect the documents." I drive over to the green dot, and it appears as if our unfortunate hero has met his end by crashing into a rogue asteroid. Whoops. I deliver the package and get a text from him in the next mission saying, "Thx."

Who the fuck still carries one of those?

Can you sell weapons once you've bought them?