which city for GTA 5?

Haha, I love this stupid fucking game.

]http://i.imgur.com/yxbIopO.jpg

I just don't get anything like that from the online play, all I get is jerky gameplay and people driving around trying to kill me. It lasts about ten minutes then i'm back to single player mode.

I've found the free mode to be a bit nasty, yeah. But online missions and races, etc - so much fun. Even though I suck at them, so much fun.

I stole a dude's tank last night! It was my first time driving one extensively. Man chased me all the way up the west coast highway in passive mode trying to get it back. Killed him anyway by blowing up the car he was driving.

Other players sped by me and I didn't even take a shot. Had too much fun blowing police helicopters out of the sky like it was Duck Hunt. I still hate tanks in MP, but that almost made up for the 727 times I've been spawn killed.

I eventually drove it into the ocean and accepted a Rooftop Rumble invitation to get out of there.

I actually whacked a guy with a high bounty on his head the other evening - like I say, I suck at videogames so this was a rare and thoroughly satisfying moment. He was clearly bummed about it though, and proceeded to chase me down in a helicopter. He almost caught me too, only I crashed into another car on the road, which enabled me to watch him smash the chopper into a nearby building.

He later placed a bounty on my head, and I almost immediately let someone else kill me, and afterwards texted my murderer that I hope he enjoyed the cash. It's important, I think, to not take any of this too seriously and maintain a sense of gamesmanship.

http://socialclub.rockstargames.com/news/article/52217/Grand-Theft-Auto-Online-Spring-Updates

all sounds pretty cool to me. more garage space! noncontact racing!

Hell, I wish they could do noncontact racing in one-man races, like how Grand Turismo used to show your Lap 1 car going up against your Lap 2 car.

I hear there's a possible story line dlc coming out later this year too

I only just discovered the Rat-Loader van last week, considering the hours I've put into this game I find that incredible.

It can be modded pretty funky as well

i was in LA for 10 days and getting constant weird deja vu "i murdered a man... there..."

Ha, now you know how General Patton felt when he arrived at Greece and started telling everyone he had fought there before.

fanboy rumormill was saying tomorrow was going to be the release of the 1.13 update. the creator tool is unavailable right now. hmmm...

Online loading times are ridic

Hadn't been playing as much lately. Went through that magical week where I could duplicate cars and sell them, making millions in the process. It was a glitch, sure, but it was a fun glitch. You'd do this thing where you'd mash two buttons at the same time while trying to drive the car into the garage, the car would turn invisible, you drive around floating above the ground and scare NPC pedestrians with your witchcraft before the car pops back into the picture, and then you'd walk into the garage to find your car there and oh yeah, still waiting where you left it outside.

Usually those dupe glitches are weird and awkward and you feel like you're going to jailbreak the game into always being in riot mode or something. "Park your wheels against the brick wall in Dungwood Hills, go to the Playstation Store, log out, go back to the single-player mode, get a friend to invite you to a session, hijack a helicopter (not a Maverick!), fly to North Yankton, dig a hole in the snow, jump in, pull your parachute, when you land, you should be back by your car with your friend's car next to it. Kill your friend and sell both." This invisible car strategy was not only easy, but fun and profitable.

But then they took that away in a patch and I was just deflated. I'd leave my garage full of useless Adders I couldn't sell and wander around, getting spawn-killed by tanks. This was getting ridiculous. I'm a grown man with two kids. Playing this game isn't a hobby. I should enlist my son to build a model train track in the garage, now there's a hobby. Of course, I'd have to get him to stop playing Lego Batman first, but I'm sure he wouldn't protest, right?

So I took a break. When I'd feel like playing, I'd do single player, which was annoying. Why is that fence next to my garage glitch? Where did all of these newspaper boxes that I'm driving into come from? How come I can't buy a flannel shirt at Ponsonby's?

I even got Red Dead Redemption back out. Now there was a beautiful game. Tried its online mode, but it's even more fucked up than GTA. Sometime in there, I guess I joined a RDR crew. I don't remember.

But yeah, I eventually came back to Los Santos. And the RDR crew had members on there as well. I don't know if it has anything to do with its roots in a cowboy game set in 1912, but the players seem to all be over 20, if not 30. No spawn killing. The other night, we played Rooftop Rumble again and then - THEN - instead of just going back to freemode, everyone went with a different mission. Six Buzzards flying over Los Santos, killing 12 innocent jurors in less than three minutes - $30,000 payout for me. The mission where you go to the Humane Labs and steal a van - tried this once before and the loser I was with couldn't hack the code (spelling a word out from highlighted letters scrolling through vertical chambers.) Not this time - another fast and easy payout.

Good gracious, I think I even heard a female voice on there last night. And she wasn't even getting called bitch. At first, I thought it was a squeaker, but her non-use of the N-word convinced me otherwise.

So I'm still in the city, making bank. Spend my spare time looking for the Lampadati Felon and going on Rumble missions (they're an easy and free way to get your vehicle out of the impound lot.) I still get into wall breaches, but I invite players to come in with me instead of shooting them from under the pavement. I've gotten pretty good at sniping the back tail rotors of police helicopters though that high-pitched whirring sound it makes when it goes down is much more disturbing than it needs to be.

And I still get spawn-killed, but whatever, it's Los Santos. There's a weird glitch happening with the Rooftop Rumble mission where sometimes the person hosting appears in the public session at the train tracks, just floating in midair above the tracks that go by the garage. You can hit them with a cro bar and everything, and they just stand there in the air. One night, I accept an invitation and get beamed down there except by the time I realized I wasn't in the mission but still in the session with everyone else, I got killed. I don't know what happened, but my car was at least down there too.

I open the door to get inside it right about the time a tank comes speeding down the avenue. Great. Tanks can destroy your car and not have to pay insurance. Like a stop-action claymation or goofy "dinosaurs in Africa" movie, the tank rolls up and points its cannon at me. What can I do? I stand by my open door and give the guy one of those Hey Bro fist bumps to my own chest. Couple of seconds pass, the cannon rolls back to a straight-ahead position and continues to roll down the road.

I watch it turn by the police station, hear the sirens blare, get into my car and go.

Good God, Vyvanse, what the hell did you just write?

But yeah, I eventually came back to Los Santos. And the RDR crew had members on there as well. I don't know if it has anything to do with its roots in a cowboy game set in 1912, but the players seem to all be over 20, if not 30. No spawn killing. The other night, we played Rooftop Rumble again and then - THEN - instead of just going back to freemode, everyone went with a different mission. Six Buzzards flying over Los Santos, killing 12 innocent jurors in less than three minutes - $30,000 payout for me. The mission where you go to the Humane Labs and steal a van - tried this once before and the loser I was with couldn't hack the code (spelling a word out from highlighted letters scrolling through vertical chambers.) Not this time - another fast and easy payout.

^^^ this is Living The GTA Dream imo

Six Buzzards flying over Los Santos, killing 12 innocent jurors in less than three minutes

ohhh *that's* how you do that one

I've gotten pretty good at sniping the back tail rotors of police helicopters though that high-pitched whirring sound it makes when it goes down is much more disturbing than it needs to be.

that works??

ps i'm never doing rooftop rumble again ever

I mean, seriously. It makes a hella difference.

I was doing my lone wolf thing, cruising around looking for a speedy four-door to steal, when I see on the map a crew member come my way. I stop the car and get out, and here he comes up Vinewood Hills on his quad-runner. He salutes, I salute, he drives off, and I just think what the hell is happening here.

I've even had non-crew members play along. I still crack on role-players, but I don't know, sometimes you get into that mode like Bill Murray in Groundhog Day, dressing up in a pancho and sombrero and taking a blonde out to the movies. Instead of that, I put on some cop clothes, steal a cop car and go on patrol. I'm the only one who probably thinks it's funny, but parking in the LifeINvader lot with the headlights off and then taking off after a player with the lights going can be fun at times.

Anyway, one guy actually got out of the car after I turned the lights on and swear to God, he wasn't even wearing a shirt. I walk toward him and he runs up and lands a punch on my face. So I drop the weapon and come after him mano-a-mano in the middle of the avenue, but before the fight could finish, the damn connection went out.

Yeah, get that rotor with one shot (it's not easy) and the whole chopper starts spinning around. There's also an exhaust hole right behind the door you can get a couple of times, and of course, somehow killing the pilot is a solid way.

pp you get so much value out of this game, i am envious.

Did this get posted here? It could use some editing, but the cameo for Rooftop Rumble is, well, brilliant brilliant brilliant.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2vlM8RypMbA

And stevie, I have no idea why.

basically i race in this game and that's it. i'm over level 100 and have more than $2mil so until the new dlc gives me something to buy there's not much to do. log in, race 5 or 12 times, jack a high-price car, quit

during a few race lobbies i had a weird exchange of messages with a dude:

him: how do u have so much money???
me: patience
him: wat u mean??
me: dont buy anything!
him: [grammatically unintelligible statement about cars and/or apartments]

tbh i was mostly freaked out he could look at my balance. idk how to do that in a lobby

lol the race bit

I could read pplains' accounts of his videogaming all day. fact.

They are laconically brilliant.

Played a mission this evening, four of us, supposed to steal money and drugs from a deal going down on the roof of the building that's in the midst of construction. Instructions clearly state we need a helicopter, but my 3 comrades go straight to the building and try and figure out their way to the roof somehow. I have no mic to tell them we need a helicopter, so I drive out to the airport to steal one. Fly back to the building, cannot find comrades, fly to roof, bail out, land on roof and am promptly shot to ribbons by countless bad dudes. I then get to spectate the excruciatingly slow progress of my three comrades up the crane beside the building, all the way to the very top, where they were almost instantly shot dead.

That's how it mostly goes when I play GTA Online, and that's why I envy your experiences, PP!

Dude! I have been-there/done-that:

There's one mission that's really difficult, but really fun to play. Lester tells you he needs a briefcase that's protected by a dozen surly men on top of the tower under construction downtown. It took me and this one guy five tries before we got it through trial and error. We finally came up with this plan that involved me flying around in the helicopter attracting bullets while he stationed himself across the way on another building with a sniper rifle.

Couple of dudes invited me to the same mission the other night and I accepted. Except they didn't want to get the chopper. I didn't want to be the know-it-all line leader, but c'mon, that building is 40 stories tall, at least. They go running into the property while I go get a helicopter. By the time I made it back, they were already dead. I land at the top and promptly get shot up.

We all hit replay and I say in the mic "i've heard a helicopter works pretty good in this mission." Uh-uh. There they go again running into the lot. I go to the docks to get another damn helicopter and this time, only one of them has been killed by the time I make it back. I see the other guy somewhere on the building, but I figure he's too deep in the structure for me to find him.

So I land the chopper at the top and see if I can grab the briefcase which is just three floors down from the top. I don't make it because it's too insane to do by yourself. I die and go into speculating mode and there's Mr. I Did It My Way, standing on a crane ladder platform about halfway up, just looking out over the city with a 1000 yard stare. Good luck in your future missions, asshole.

― pplains, Tuesday, October 29, 2013 11:34 AM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Here's a link to the crew I'm in. I don't know if it's at that particular link, but they do have an XBL version.

HA! I thought it felt familiar!

Ha I only just noticed that the two chatterbox stations are only available in certains areas of the map

Here's where this game is helpful and educational:

There's a new glitch that can net you $600K every five minutes, made up actually of about three, three-and-a-half glitches combined. And the multiple glitches are kinda layered on each other.

Basically, and I do mean basically, you (1.) Fool the game into thinking one of your motorcycles is an Adder. (2.) Duplicate said motorcycle. (3.) Sell it at LSC under the auspices that you're selling a Karin Rebel.

The fucking steps to go through to accomplish all of this - I got very discouraged because you fuck up one step (as I did), you not only fuck up getting the payday, but you can very well lose the $1M you bought the Adder for.

I was interested because if I could get it going, I'd be rich and could afford all the million-dollar gold paint jobs I want. And tack on to it that you do this glitch solo in an invite only session without having to back-out, sign-out, pull your ethernet cable, etc., made it more attractive.

But damn. I watched videos. I followed step-by-steps text. I read one full paragraph from someone who didn't use capital letters or punctuation. I watched videos of people doing this at other apartments, in other ways, methods using friends. I just couldn't get what I was doing wrong.

Finally, I figured it out. It was one of those cool things that just "clicks" in my head. I wanted it to be one way, but it was really another. And I made $25 million yesterday while folding the laundry.

Too bad it'll get wiped out with the High Life patch tomorrow, but I'll tell you. Didn't think a video game could improve my reading comprehension and ability to follow instructions so late in this life.

It's kind of a bummer that there's basically no way to make races and have them catch on in the community. Some of the "verified" user-created races are clearly created by people who are using a different set of tools than those in the beta race creator. I want to put ramps inside Fort Zancudo, or to use the megaramps I've seen in a few races, but they're not available to me (or I don't know how to cobble them together out of parts, I guess). Also I've played races where there are definitely more than 50 objects out there, which is the limit in the creator.

idk about zancudo (that bums me out, too. that and the airport! it's so dumb you can't get in there) but there is one weird trick to making those megaramps. involves stacking the hot dog trailer underneath as a building block? i think? and then deleting it.

i'm kinda excited to have more garage space. if the update even goes live tomorrow.

Oh cool, I found what you're talking about:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8JZ_zx8UoNI

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BnhqHzsCMAMMlWG.jpg

ha they beefed up that one mission everyone farms

oh shit now there is a c+p failure

do you think pamela gellar plays?

ahem

https://support.rockstargames.com/hc/en-us/articles/202114563

Reichtop Rumble.

I tried to make one of them there curvy ramps last night and couldn't get past two ramps. Kinda tricky to build them. But two ramps is still better than one.

man the zentorno is mad ugly. my mans testing it on youtube say it just pips the entity, too :/

the massacro is still in 2nd behind the elegy.

the new SUV is def the best

the new motorcycle is slow and possibly bugged.

That new bike is horrific, in all ways

it's too bad, the last set of dlc cars looked great and (i think) were basically solid 2nd. now, 3rd.

so much of this game is so half-assed; apparently there are "real" stats like weight, acceleration, lateral-g grip, gearing, etc under the hood for all vehicles that determine performance. those have little relationship to the bar graphs shown, let alone any of the text descriptions on the dealer websites.

i know this is an arcadey mayhem kind of game but come on

No I agree. Like some of the car mods are completely useless, I don't just mean they add nothing to the car performance but they're so goddam small changes to the car. Like sideskirts, really does anyone notice these?

My own personal moan about this game is how underpowered you are, even with body armour, against the police. Basically any police battles are immediately over once you sustain 2 or 3 shots.

Having said that, I'll probably be on all night looking for those two final damn pieces of space ship

Zentorno is ugly as shit, but I got one after driving it. Drove like there was a magnet as a hood ornament, traction pretty good. Speed's all right too.

Lot of the variables depend on perception too. I got a Voltic or whatever the electric car is called. With no motor sound, that thing just seemed fast and really fun to drive. Probably isn't much faster compared to the others though.

The Ralavaj Rush endless queue blues

lol yes

I couldn't believe you Disliked that track. I thought it was a masterpiece.

Although the race you started was also sick as hell so I understood the reasoning.

goole what are your preferred cars these days in the non-sports/super categories?