2012 Wrestling Thread: Jericho returns tonight, Dragon is champion, RAW and TNA still unwatchable...

holy shit matt strykers tan. he's like 7 different colours.

the women's wrestling seemed a lot better than it was back in the day. still not good enough for the bookers to take it remotely seriously, i guess?

tna take it seriously and actually get p big ratings off it compared to their male wrestlers. but lol tna.

my stream died :(

oh its cool, in the ten minutes it took me to get a new working one, taker was still walking to the ring.

hoyl shit he came as shredder

undie's dropped down from the 328lbs he was billed as for years, i guess that's the cancer for ya.

ok this hair shit is stupid beyond belief. he is the fucking undertaker, not some emo girlfriend with issues

between my internet being shitty, streams dying and this being lame as hell, i think i'm gonna tap out soon.

we're probably going to get another half hour of this at least, right? hm.

45 year olds who have wrestled 4 matches between them in the past 2 years? yeah its gonna be slow viewing. i'm going to bed, fuck wwe. hope it improves for ya merdy.

spinebuster onto the steps is pretty neat i admit.

alright, now let's see how well i can incongruously read philosophy and watch this at the same time.

Reading comics and watching is a nice pairing.

this is better than i expected, but then having everyone inexplicably get up from everything is a pretty artificial mode of drama.

However, the pace is allowing them to sell a bit more of the brutality than a usual match. It's nice after years and years of casual chair shots to see them sell the pain both this year and last.

I don't think anyone on the planet saw that win coming.

i was expecting hhh to win with a pantsing/small package combo.

anyway, two hours is quite enough, maybe i'll try to check out the jericho and rock matches some other time. (probably not.)

This many man tag match is enough to drive anyone away.

Punk v . Jericho about to start if people were waiting for something good.

after failing to sleep i've decided to hop back in. how's it been?

ah, i thought we had an old school knee-in-the-back lion tamer there, but then back into the boring boston crab version.

feel that the million reversals involved in that finish would've been more impressive if my stream wasn't freezing up. :'(

It wasn't that impressive, sadly. I did like the teased small package ending - nice nod to Steamboat/Savage.

wtf is happening.

I don't know what it is. Nothing good.

There's a Diddy on my wrestlemania. I don't appreciate.

with cena's array of headlocks and bearhugs it feels like 1980 all over again.

Don't forget Rock's dizzying array of arm-bar takedowns.

and now for the classic double-clothesline breather, those rest holds really take it out of ya.

welp that was boring. shouldn't have too much trouble sleeping now.

Not one of the better Manias.

Good Mania, but not as good as I was expecting. Rock shouldn't have been going 30 minutes, Cena carried that thing. Punk-Jericho would have been a lot better if the crowd hadn't been so burned out. HHH-Undertaker was the best match, although Taker didn't look like he was in such great shape. I actually miss HHH, no shit.

Cena carried that thing

oof. its just coming up now. nothing to get you excited like brodus clay dancing with 20 martin lawrences.

lmao puffy? they got a decent celeb! oh shit now i have to watch machine gun kelly. there is a small teenage boy singing.

taker-hhh! that must have been more chair shots than the infamous rock-mankind match from royal rumble 1999/beyond the mat! and them going out together was a nice move. hopefully none of them ever come back. and hhh bladed! hell in the cell matches without blood have been so stupid without anyone bleeding.

i liked punk-jericho. i thought the crowd got into it. they say the problem with these stadium matches is 1) the crowd can barely see anything so 2) the crowd barely reacts, as they are more 'at wrestlemania' than 'watching'. at least with a team sport you can track the specks in position from the rafters but wwe have to cover the ring in case it rains, only have 2 dudes, massive WRESTLEMANIA letters in the way etc. It must be a shitty view for at least a third of the fans. but anyway, the match was fine. Tributes to savage-steamboat. I was fine with back and forth signiture moves because no-one else really did this tonight. Jericho shouting YOUR MUM will always be fun.

Flo Rida still rapping. Fucking hell these entrances are tedious.

Wrestlers always say that it's hard to hear the crowd in a stadium show because the sound goes up rather than towards the ring. It's hard to know what's working and what's not when you can't hear the fans, and in an outdoor stadium it's even worse. Jericho ran down Punk's family for weeks, got an unfair rules advantage in the match (the DQ stip), and still lost clean, by submission no less. That's a pretty decisive victory for Punk that doesn't really give Jericho any grounds for a rematch. Of course they'll have a million rematches because that's what always happens after WM, so why couldn't Jericho win the first match?

I get that we have to put up with a million dumb celebrity skits and appearances (e.g. Diddy introducing MGK, which was totally unnecessary but obv. it's in the contract when the WWE signed them to appear) because it's WRESTLEMANIA and it's a SPECTACLE and all that.

Rock and Cena should have done a different sort of match, it was one of those rare times that called for a hot start, a cooldown period, and then rest-finisher-rest-finisher for ten minutes. IOW, more like the last Rock-Austin match or Cena-Batista from two years ago.

And if it's true that Brock is coming back, he should face Undertaker at WM29, it's the only thing that makes sense for the character and in real life. People would be scared shitless about the streak ending for once, book it.

Unless Cena's reaction to losing last night is to challenge Undertaker at next year's WM. I wouldn't be surprised if that's what they do, but screw that, I want Brock.

unless he is on raw tonight, i am treating brock as an april fools. but yeah, brock v. taker would be the only match taker can have that people actually want to see. kane v. taker the only other option, presuming it retires both.

I think Taker is done. Or he should be - a nice run of classic Wrestlemania matches to end it: Edge, Michaels, Michaels, Triple H, Triple H. Neither Cena nor Lesnar would hold a candle.

Crazy to think his first Wrestlemania match was against Jimmy Snuka.

Wld poll them but obv A-Train would win it.

A-Train was in a handicap match, or am I thinking of someone else?

lol yeah w/ big show

oh man! I am glad I don't remember any particulars of that match (though I love Big Show, but not really for his wrestling).

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

not an april fools

reverse benoit:

NOLA.com reports that Stephen A. Arceneaux II, 24, from Destrehan, Louisiana died while watching WrestleMania 28. The reports indicate he was choked out by his 14 year old cousin and pronounced dead at 10:39pm local time.

NOLA.com wrote the following:

"According to St. Charles Parish Sheriff Greg Champagne, Arceneaux had gathered with friends at a home on Murray Hill Drive to watch the pay-per-view event 'Wrestlemania 28' on television when he and a 14-year-old cousin began to wrestle on an inflated mattress on the floor. The juvenile, who is 5 feet, 6 inches tall and weighs 110 pounds, placed his arm around the neck of Arceneaux, who was 5 feet, 10 inches tall and weighed 220 pounds, in a move commonly known as a 'rear naked choke hold' for 30 to 40 seconds.

"Witnesses reported that Arceneaux said he would not give up or 'tap out.'

YOU GO AND END IT

predictions for next year's undertaker WM match

1. undertaker performs his trademark strikes on whoever he fights
2. other dude comes back and then bashes undertaker to an inch of his life
3. undertaker comes back briefly then gets fucked up again
4. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move on the undertaker
5. undertaker kicks out just before 3 count
6. some shit happens here
7. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move twice on the undertaker
8. the cover gets delayed a bit, undertaker then kicks out just before 3 count
9. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move 3 times on the undertaker
10. undertaker kicks out just before 3 count
11. other dude gets frustrated
12. undertaker somehow comes back to life, sits up, then performs the last ride or choke slam or whatever
13. other dude kicks out
14. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move 4 times on the undertaker
15. undertaker kicks out just before 3 count
16. other dude gets frustrated
17. other dude whoever it is performs their signature move 5 times on the undertaker
18. other dude whoever it is attempts the tombstone piledriver on the undertaker
19. undertaker reverses and performs a tombstone piledriver on the other dude or maybe uses the hells gate choke hold
20. undertaker wins
21. fist in the air, fireworks

Rumour is it will be Cena so that won't happen. Because Cena doesn't beat people up. He doesn't know how. In fact even his most violent fight (v. Umaga way back) he still did bugger all.

but yes

john cena can rap until the undertaker taps out

He's not facing Cena, that's crazy talk.

never doubt the stupidity of wwe booking