cm punk's promo

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holy fucking shit

i repeat holy fucking shit

damn it. i hear mascherano cherry looking to fuck him up, too. (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 13:13 (eleven years ago) link

in all honesty, of the haymen and brock mentions, killing the fans who were still cheering him, the new pro mentions, calling out johnny ace, the way he took apart the mcmahon fam - it was the shout out to colt cabana that made it.

such a fucking shame they turned off his mic.

that was genuinely the best thing i've seen in wrestling since foley fell off the cage.

damn it. i hear mascherano cherry looking to fuck him up, too. (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 13:17 (eleven years ago) link

he has been suspended and taken off the wwe website for it. i still can't tell if it is real or not but either way it was so fucking intense that i really want it to be real.

damn it. i hear mascherano cherry looking to fuck him up, too. (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 13:19 (eleven years ago) link

cannot remember a heel moment this great and shocking since hogan leg dropped savage

damn it. i hear mascherano cherry looking to fuck him up, too. (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 13:21 (eleven years ago) link

"John Cena, while you lay there, hopefully as uncomfortable as you possibly can be, I want you to listen to me.

I want you to digest this because before I leave in 3 weeks with your WWE Championship, I have a lot of things I want to get off my chest.

I don't hate you, John. I don't even dislike you. I do like you. I like you a hell of a lot more than I like most people in the back.

I hate this idea that you're the best. Because you're not. I'm the best. I'm the best in the world. There's one thing you're better at than I am and that's kissing Vince McMahon's ass.

You're as good as kissing Vince McMahon's ass as Hulk Hogan was. I don't know if you're as good as Dwayne though. He's a pretty good ass kisser. Always was and still is.

Whoops! I'm breaking the fourth wall! (Punk waves to the camera)

I am the best wrestler in the world.

I've been the best since day one when I walked into this company. And I've been vilified and hated since that day because Paul Heyman saw something in me that nobody else wanted to admit. That's right, I'm a Paul Heyman guy. You know who else was a Paul Heyman guy? Brock Lesnar. And he split just like I'm splitting. But the biggest difference between me and Brock is I'm going to leave with the WWE Championship.

I've grabbed so many of Vincent K. McMahon's brass rings that it's finally dawned on me that there just that, they're completely imaginary. The only thing that's real is me and the fact that day in and day out, for almost six years, I have proved to everybody in the world that I am the best on this microphone, in that ring, even in commentary! Nobody can touch me!

And yet no matter how many times I prove it, I'm not on your lovely little collector cups. I'm not on the cover of the program. I'm barely promoted. I don't get to be in movies. I'm certainly not on any crappy show on the USA Network. I'm not on the poster of WrestleMania. I'm not on the signature that's produced at the start of the show. I'm not on Conan O'Brian. I'm not on Jimmy Fallon. But the fact of the matter is, I should be.

This isn't sour grapes. But the fact that Dwayne is in the main event at WrestleMania next year and I'm not makes me sick!

Oh hey, let me get something straight. Those of you who are cheering me right now, you are just as big a part of me leaving as anything else. Because you're the ones who are sipping on those collector cups right now. You're the ones that buy those programs that my face isn't on the cover of. And then at five in the morning at the airport, you try to shove it in my face and get an autograph and try to sell it on Ebay because you're too lazy to go get a real job.

I'm leaving with the WWE Championship on July 17th. And hell, who knows, maybe I'll go defend it in New Japan Pro Wrestling. Maybe I'll go back to Ring of Honor.

(Punk looks at the camera and waves)

Hey, Colt Cabana, how you doing?

The reason I'm leaving is you people. Because after I'm gone, you're still going to pour money into this company. I'm just a spoke on the wheel. The wheel is going to keep turning and I understand that. Vince McMahon is going to make money despite himself. He's a millionaire who should be a billionaire. You know why he's not a billionaire? Because he surrounds himself with glad-handed, non-sensical, douchebag (censored) yes men, like John Laurinaitis, who's going to tell him everything he wants to hear, and I'd like to think that maybe this company will better after Vince McMahon is dead. But the fact is, it's going to be taken over by his idiotic daughter and his doofus son-in-law and the rest of his stupid family.

Let me tell you a personal story about Vince McMahon alright. We do this whole (anti) bully campaign

(Mic cut off.)

� (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 13:29 (eleven years ago) link

It's got be a worked shoot. Still totally brilliant by Punk.

treefell, Tuesday, 28 June 2011 13:34 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah but... calling McMahon out on the anti-bullying campaign after they have spent months trying to appease bullying and respect charities makes me think that it started a work shoot and then punk went off the rails.

� (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 19:07 (eleven years ago) link

That's....what they want you to think

Maybe he will shoot on Cena in the PPV match and the worked shoot will become...a shoot

how ironic

MPx4A, Tuesday, 28 June 2011 19:40 (eleven years ago) link

Punk's suspension has led to him being taken away from the #1 contender spot for MITB. R.A.W. say that Del Rio v. Mysterio v. R-Truth will be on for the new #1 contender spot.

� (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 21:39 (eleven years ago) link

The following was posted today on

Raw’s abrupt conclusion Monday night was not due to technical difficulties. The decision to suddenly end the broadcast in that manner was made by WWE Chairman and CEO Vince McMahon, who gave this quote to

“CM Punk was suspended indefinitely for his unprofessional conduct as soon as Raw went off the air.”

With his WWE contract expiring on July 17, one can only assume that this suspension effectively terminates CM Punk’s tenure with WWE.

UPDATE: As of Tuesday, June 28, WWE and CM Punk have reached an agreement that Punk will fulfill his non-televised live event obligations for the remainder of his contract, through July 17. Furthermore, both sides have mutually agreed not to disparage one another.

� (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 22:02 (eleven years ago) link

The Raw spoilers say they're actually going to have the PPV main event be Cena coming out with the belt and holding it up while smiling amiably for 27:43, but the feeling is that it will actually be a swerve and CM Punk will come out and get on the stick and agree that Cena should be the champion because he is the best sports entertainer

MPx4A, Tuesday, 28 June 2011 22:35 (eleven years ago) link


� (a hoy hoy), Tuesday, 28 June 2011 22:37 (eleven years ago) link

if WWF was actually pissed at this guy they wouldn't be referring to him by his stage name in their "response."

love in a grain elevator (underrated aerosmith bootlegs I have owned), Wednesday, 29 June 2011 00:55 (eleven years ago) link

he did a v good job of using "oh wow, he went there" stuff without it turning into kayfabe-ruining Russo bullshit; he was like eviscerating the company on live TV but still saying he was going to steal their belt

MPx4A, Wednesday, 29 June 2011 17:14 (eleven years ago) link

two weeks pass...

Interesting interview with Punk in GQ:

I'm fairly sure that this whole angle (which includes these types of interviews) is an elaborate work, and if so, it's brilliant.

NoTimeBeforeTime, Saturday, 16 July 2011 14:20 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah that has become obvious in the past two weeks but hell, no-one still has any idea what happens tomorrow and Monday. SO EXCITED. He is also on Cabana's podcast this week, which is great for other reasons too (the match where Chris Hero gets hit by a cardboard box story is A+!)

� (a hoy hoy), Saturday, 16 July 2011 14:33 (eleven years ago) link

It seems like he really does need to take some time out, so it's a shame he's probably going to end up disappearing for a bit in the middle of such a good angle (maybe via Del Rio or someone cashing in)

MPx4A, Saturday, 16 July 2011 16:42 (eleven years ago) link

If he just takes a few months, comes back and unleashes all kinds of hell then ends up finally getting his match with Steve Austin I guess I won't complain though

MPx4A, Saturday, 16 July 2011 16:45 (eleven years ago) link

Quite like haha Scott Keith's idea of Punk winning and then having to fight both MITB winners one after the other, with him beating the Smackdown one then losing to the Raw one

A MITB guy needs to fuck up and lose at some point

MPx4A, Saturday, 16 July 2011 16:54 (eleven years ago) link

The internet p much assumes that is why it is happening at MITB, which'll lead to Del Rio v. Cena at Summerslam

In fantasy land though I want Punk to leave with it, and leave until Survivor Series, with just a show here or there in New Japan or ROH

� (a hoy hoy), Saturday, 16 July 2011 19:08 (eleven years ago) link

Smackdown MITB- Bryan Danielson went and fucking won it! Wooo! And a Ring Of Honor chant! Exciting! Don't see De Bryan being made to cash in tonight.

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 00:41 (eleven years ago) link

Currently: Piss break. (or the Diva match.)

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 00:41 (eleven years ago) link

FUCKING HELL I don't think i've ever heard a pop like that. The Rock returning was piss all compared.

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 02:08 (eleven years ago) link

ok I actually jumped up and down when the end happened. IM IN SMILE FUCKING COUNTRY. Best match of the decade.

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 03:00 (eleven years ago) link


MPx4A, Monday, 18 July 2011 20:43 (eleven years ago) link

* When it very suddenly sank in with the crowd that nobody could catch Danielson
* The possibly unintentionally overegged "graveyard of careers" vibe with everyone getting injured; the Smackdown MITB spots seemed a bit toned down compared to what's gone in the past, except for the two absolutely fucking heinous bumps Sheamus was involved in, which overcompensated ridiculously
* The return of the "if in trouble, just rip Mysterio's mask off and win for free" spot
* John Cena doing 3/5 of the five moves of doom and then sort of looking really sheepish and apologetic to the crowd
* John Cena Abdominal Stretch Heel Heat Segment
* Cena and Orton both moroning themselves out of their titles in vastly differing ways
* Johnny C chinning Jonny Ace
* "CM Punk even taking time to high five his fans here" as Punk high fives Cabana while a thunderingly obvious "Colt Cabana" chant thunders around the arena
* Teasing fucking the angle up at exactly every point where it might have been fucked up and then not fucking it up

I hope the buyrate pops half a billion

MPx4A, Monday, 18 July 2011 20:54 (eleven years ago) link

Awesome main event. Great job WWE.

Christian vs Orton was also done well ... they've fought a million times already but now the storyline switches gears and you still want to see them fight some more.

NoTimeBeforeTime, Monday, 18 July 2011 21:23 (eleven years ago) link

MPx4A, Monday, 18 July 2011 21:26 (eleven years ago) link

I actually kind of wanted to see Danielson cash in on dead Christian so Christian would be like the most aggrieved two time world champion ever and then work a program with Danielson, but I don't blame them for not exhausting the crowd before their epochal 40 minute main event#

Also forgot looking at Bourne and thinking "you're gonna kill yourself" and then him hitting this immaculate SSP

MPx4A, Monday, 18 July 2011 21:28 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah he looked like he was about to trip off that, didn't he?

LOL at half the Raw match being about climbing the shorts ladder too.

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 21:34 (eleven years ago) link

The Spanish announce table made it through a PPV!

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 21:35 (eleven years ago) link

They must have reinforced the fucker.

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 21:35 (eleven years ago) link

Yeah, the RAW MITB was kind of weirdly farcical and chaotic

Liked the impromptu Kane Doomsday Device spot getting an LOD chant in Chicago (and then Cena getting his only possible pop for the evening by punching Animal's brother out)

MPx4A, Monday, 18 July 2011 21:39 (eleven years ago) link

for some reason i didn't get the lod chicago connection!

sin cara powerbomb was only because he's been caught on the 'roids

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 21:46 (eleven years ago) link

Man, I'd missed that

He's Hunter's boy alright!!!

MPx4A, Monday, 18 July 2011 21:49 (eleven years ago) link

also: punk not on raw but cena is at least in the dark match

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 21:51 (eleven years ago) link

Oh, it was announced today. I was rigorously avoiding spoilers having casually glanced at the in-progress results at 2am last night and accidentally found out Danielson had won, then having trippy 4am American Dragon dreams

I gotta get away from the business for a while

This was free on Sky?! I thought that gravy train had sailed in like '02

MPx4A, Monday, 18 July 2011 22:15 (eleven years ago) link

Murdoch v. VKM at WM28 in the first Hell In The (Jail) Cell

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 22:21 (eleven years ago) link


� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 22:33 (eleven years ago) link

Being on about four hours' sleep and flitting between the scarcely believable clusterfuck of the WWE main event scene and the scarcely believable clusterfuck of All of Britain is really fucking surreal, at this point I appear to be hallucinating Sabu hacking the Sun which is p. bad

MPx4A, Monday, 18 July 2011 22:37 (eleven years ago) link

lol already posted a .jpg of him in that thread, going over everyones head.

� (a hoy hoy), Monday, 18 July 2011 22:38 (eleven years ago) link

Imagine if Jim Ross had been on the stick for that main event, you'd never sleep again

MPx4A, Monday, 18 July 2011 22:56 (eleven years ago) link
CM Punk gatecrashes WWE panel at Comicon.

treefell, Friday, 22 July 2011 10:50 (eleven years ago) link


I am Louise Boat (a hoy hoy), Friday, 22 July 2011 15:08 (eleven years ago) link

As many of you saw on RAW this past week, John Laurinaitis was sporting a black eye. There was some speculation backstage that he had make-up applied to further the storyline but word is the black eye was legitimate. Cena apparently really connected with a punch at the Money in the Bank PPV. Also, part of the reason John Laurinaitis was with Vince McMahon at Money in the Bank for the run-in is because Vince has been told by his doctors not to take any bumps.

Speaking of Laurinaitis, there is lots of talk within WWE about his long-term future with the company. WWE has been looking for someone with a sports background to groom for a job in talent relations. It's no secret backstage that Triple H is not and has never been a big supporter of Laurinaitis. There has also been talk that Laurinaitis will become a full-time TV character, similar to how Pat Patterson and Gerald Brisco were to Vince McMahon years ago.


I am Louise Boat (a hoy hoy), Friday, 22 July 2011 15:13 (eleven years ago) link

Sheamus rules

MPx4A, Saturday, 23 July 2011 18:07 (eleven years ago) link

one month passes...


prego, Thursday, 15 September 2011 17:31 (eleven years ago) link


Ravaging Rick Rude (a hoy hoy), Thursday, 15 September 2011 18:10 (eleven years ago) link

prego why didn't you just let this thread GTS

Gary Numan, or Gary Fletcher (ken c), Friday, 16 September 2011 12:48 (eleven years ago) link

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