Rolling 2014 Haunted Rocking Chair Thread

Cesaro rules.

YO REALLY

just started watching. michael cole thinks a promo between hogan, rock and austin which hogan fucks up like a hundred times is "the greatest wrestlemania moment in history."

http://www.f4wonline.com/images/maniafan.jpg

instantly legendary

that was really fun. cena v bray was especially good. tonights raw will be a big one. (idk whether to talk about why, because spoilers. maybe a thread where we can chat openly? because some big shit happened and i dont want to ruin it for anyone.)

Jeff Jarrett has announced a new company called Global Force Wrestling, with Toby Keith.

Because his last one and his last spot in WCW worked out so well.

So last night's Raw was a fuckin' doozy then! Great crowd as usual but also well-booked and just all-round good times. Seriously, the last two days have felt impossibly smark-friendly compared to usual WWE standards.

Cesaro's clearly on the verge of getting a rocket strapped to his back as a guy with legitimate skillz, how can we get him more over? Ah yeaaah, we'll put him with Paul Heyman! What a terrific idea. Cesaro's not bad on the mic, but there are very few guys in the 'E where I wouldn't be in favour of just letting Paul. E do their talking for them. Like, within seconds of coming out Heyman had not only introduced a hilarious new moniker for Cesaro ("the King of Swing") but he'd already got the crowd chanting it!

Straight away this feels like a direction that could lead to big main-event things for Cesaro. Heyman guys vs Bryan later this year, I would think. Lesnar/Bryan has got to be set in stone for Summerslam now, but Bryan/Cesaro would be an incredible placeholder feud in the meantime or afterwards. And then later when it all falls apart, a possible Lesnar / Cesaro confrontation on a big PPV? Holy shit I think that'd have a chance at being the best big-man match ever. (I would also be in favour of having Bryan go over Lesnar and Cesaro both, only to have Heyman reveal his ace-in-the-hole, the final Paul Heyman guy - CM Punk!). Think Heyman vs Bryan absolutely has to be the direction this year once this shit with the Authority/Orton/Botchtista is blown-off.

The Shield cementing their face turn by siding with Bryan against the uneasy Evolution alliance was great to watch as well, those guys are just such badasses. I hope the unit sticks together and they don't break up prematurely, there's still a hell of a lot of mileage in a face Shield team in the WWE.

Another good outing from the Wyatts allowing Bray to get some of his heat back, a return for RVD, the crowd doing their Fandango thing again, a proper debut for Rusev (poor Zack Ryder) and a LIVE promo from the WARRIOR! That actually was kinda restrained and made some sort of sense, incredibly.

So in short a damn fine show. all of the momentum in the company is now with Bryan, Lesnar, Cesaro, The Shield and the Wyatts. And there are others who could make it with just a little work - Big E, Ziggler and Cody Rhodes in particular. If only Punk hadn't burned out. Struggling to think of a time when there was a comparable degree of talent on the roster all on the cusp of busting out. Maybe at the very end of the Attitude Era with Angle, Jericho, Benoit, Eddie, RVD, Edge, Christian, etc. Although obviously the business was in a v. different place at that time.

Where does Heyman rank now on the all-time list of managers? I've got a lot of love for some of the older guys (in particular Captain Lou, but the Grand Wizard was also an incredibly fun character (old interview segments and manager best-of compilations are pretty much the only wrestling-relating thing I enjoy watching from before about 1985, certainly before 1980). Definitely think Heyman is attaining god-like Bobby Heenan levels of managerial prowess right now

Fine show. Really excited about the world title. Just off the top of my head you could do:

Extreme Rules: Bryan v. Batista
Payback: War Games Evolution & Someone (Rusev?) v. Bryan & Shield
Money In The Bank: Bryan v. Shield, Evolution, Cesaro, Wyatt, Cena, Henry, Rhodes etc. ladder match
Battleground: Bryan v. Cesaro
SummerSlam: Bryan v. Brock

(then build for Brock (c) v. Reigns at WM31?)

ORRRR like 20 other combos, none of them bad. Exciting time.

Its great to really see how NXT is working too. Rusev and Paige called up, Rose and Bo getting vignettes. I'd presume a mass firing is coming soon to make room.

(if they do wargames i know it is kane but corporate kane is the worst character since idk simon dean)

ha I really enjoy corporate Kane as a silly character, especially because it involves Kane not wrestling more than short tv matches

apparently they're shying away from mass cullings in favor of letting contracts run out (PR move?). see Ezekiel Jackson's recent departure

urgh really?

i guess we will have the 'jtg has been employed xyz days' meme for ages still then, which is p much the only plus side

RIP, Ultimate Warrior.

Wait, WHAT?! Shit that rather changes the complexion of the HoF and Raw speeches. That sucks

DAMN!

He was the best horrible wrestler, a vile right-wing bigot and its a shame he died. Very odd and yet appropriate timing.

Lots of online speculation online it was suicide due to how his Raw speech went...

It looks like he had a massive heart attack. Steroids, man.

His RAW promo looks morbid in retrospect but his promos were always about the spirit of the warriors living forever and all that.

http://imgur.com/a/u9Xj3#1

so the road agents are joey mercury, road dogg, johnny ace, irs, finlay, arn

triple h still needs his lines written

"Finish - RybAxel over" is a disgrace to humanity I never want to read again

(FIRST TIME EVER) for Paige and Alicia Fox? what a selling point!

the evolution/usos notes are especially mind numbing.

bray's are written too. internet reports would make you believe he scripted them himself but i guess not (especially working around cena's schtick it'd need to be scripted i guess).

CM Punk is INJ. Evan Bourne isn't but he's still under MISC. I guess that 'waiting out the contracts' thing is real, poor Bourne.

Looking at the rosters seperated into BABYFACE/HEEL catagories makes me feel a lot less excited for the future than I was last weekend.

Humor
Is there humor on the show?

DOES THE PROMO MAKE SENSE

Reading this really drove home for the first time what a fucking terrible idea it is to script all the promos and never allow the talent to do their own thing.

What the wrestling world really needs of course is a conglomerate of middle-Eastern oil barons to decide that they need a more positive public face in the us, initiating and bankrolling a heavyweight competitor to steal talent and provide an out for the likes of Ziggler and Ryder.

No matter how exciting the wwe roster looks, the lack of competition will always kill anything interesting in the end

Return of evolution feels like a come back tour of an aging rock band. Pretty cool, but much better if you'd seen them the first time round.

ive not seen the latest raw but it does seem like its to put over shield. which is great.

i am fucking happy with the progession of the shield btw. i'd be really happy if their is never a break up and they do it properly. i maybe actually have enough faith in hunters obsession with the horseman to do it right... wm 35 main eventtween pure friends reigns v ambrose bet
is the ideal. pure wrestlibg ideal.

argh phone messed that up a bit and i was gonna say more but you get it.

I totally agree, The Sheild are fucking awesome and it can only get better. While I'm here, I'm loving Cesaro being a Paul Herman guy, it's about time he got some props, he is a great wrestler. I hope they don't fuck it up.

Herman guy? Heyman! Stoopid phone.

Heyman guy thing is turning into a bit of a mess though. The crowd is fucking desperate to cheer for Cesaro and pop for all his signature spots, meanwhile Heyman's there going out of his way to draw heel heat, it feels totally all over the place. Either this Cesaro / Heyman thing is gonna be a real short run ending with Cesaro turning on Heyman and going fully-fledged babyface or they're going to have to give the fans a proper reason not to like Cesaro, because by this point it should be obvious that Paul Heyman's just so damn entertaining that being with him isn't even a reason to boo people anymore.

Kind of interested to see Bad News Barrett getting pushed, the gimmick is ridiculously cheap and one-dimensional but Barrett personally is growing on me, his hamminess is so much fun. He's probably still not worth a damn in the ring but he'd definitely be more interesting in the upper mid-card rather than doing whatever the hell it is he's been doing since the Nexus fell apart.

Speaking of heels that are getting way more over as babyfaces right now

http://i.imgur.com/Mxs7Eky.gif

https://twitter.com/WWERomanReigns/status/458485930958278656

This guy's going over Brock Lesnar at WM31 btw, the reports of how over he is with the higher-ups are totally credible and justifiable. The guy is going to get crazy over when they give him a proper solo programme against a top heel

he does look kind of like a smudged photocopy though

The Wyatt Family and The Shield are the best thing to happen to WWE in years. Worth watching the shows just for them.

Though with how often the announcers talk about "brainwashing" with the Wyatts I'm surprised they don't sell a "Braynwashed?" shirt.

He's probably still not worth a damn in the ring

check his match with Sheamus from this week's Raw. he's got it down.

Cesaro needs to destroy Swagger and move on to a feud with, say, Cena if they want to salvage his push.

Hmm, I dunno about that. I mean I agree it would be good to push him up the card sooner rather than later, but I don't think it's a mater of salvaging his push just yet. His momentum might stall a little (already has actually) and that's not good, but the fans aren't going to stop cheering for his big spots anytime soon.

I couldn't sleep last night so I threw on the latest nxt. It is just squash matches? i don't really get it or why it is supposed to help anyone?

also adam rose is horrible and whoever said its ok for raw needs firing

these are the only 2 seconds of tna i have seen in 2014 and they are worth everyone seeing http://gfycat.com/DeadlyFinishedBoar

also lol eric young is champ? the bad comedy wrestler?

http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--JGedZDMI--/mfxzbhxkwyzn7vyijjag.jpghttp://www.accelerator3359.com/Wrestling/pictures/mryan2.jpg

Crikey, and he won it off Magnus?! I've never watched it outside of half-a-dozen recommended matches but it doesn't seem long ago that the TNA belt was getting fought over by Kurt Angle, Sting, Samoa Joe, AJ Styles etc. What the fuck happened there?

Also that gif is fucking wonderful, and it's Bubba Ray Dudley still gets paid each week to be putting people through tables on TV in 2014. I heard he'd had a JBL-style late-career renaissance but if you ask me that's still just Bubba fuckin Dudley

*it's good to know... etc.

tbf Bubba Ray as a main eventer seems less bizarre to me than when I returned to wrestling after years away to see 'Sexual Chocolate' Mark Henry as an unstoppable monster world champion.

http://gfycat.com/ForsakenSparseFrenchbulldog

Seriously would keep watching just for these guys right now, definitely think that individual singles runs whilst still nominally being a team is the best way for them to go

Shield v. Evolution was genuinely the most fun. If it doesn't end up my match of the year then this year is a fucking classic (it already might be.)

Bray v. Cena last night (and the past couple Raws tbh) is Dungeon of Doom levels of bad.

Watching the main event now and this is some fun attitude era garbage hardcore. No movez at all. Not seen this in forever and its pretty fun and refreshing. Wonder if Heyman booked it.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/a1f92ffa354610a7e1797561b02742cf/tumblr_n52vfi633Q1ty96ego1_400.gif
https://31.media.tumblr.com/a1f92ffa354610a7e1797561b02742cf/tumblr_n52vfi633Q1ty96ego1_400.gif
https://31.media.tumblr.com/a1f92ffa354610a7e1797561b02742cf/tumblr_n52vfi633Q1ty96ego1_400.gif
https://31.media.tumblr.com/a1f92ffa354610a7e1797561b02742cf/tumblr_n52vfi633Q1ty96ego1_400.gif
https://31.media.tumblr.com/a1f92ffa354610a7e1797561b02742cf/tumblr_n52vfi633Q1ty96ego1_400.gif

I turned on the main event last night on my ipad with no sound and was pretty damn bored with what I saw.

gifs of seth rollins is a definite future thread to be made

http://i.imgur.com/RceNWPR.gif

That's amazing.

Bryan needs neck surgery :(

Its good they have Cesaro, the Shield, Wyatts etc. because fuck me I'd be depressed if this happened to Punk in 2011. Daniel Bryan has been the most consistent joy in wrestling for the past 2 years and if he has to take time off just after getting the being john cena title, that will be such a kick in the teeth. It was bad enough for Ziggler last year but for the BJC Title Holder? Boo, injuries.

http://www.lolwrestling.com/how-long-has-jtg-been-employed/

7 years! Pop the champagne!