WE'RE EXPECTING !!!!!!

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And these aren't official portraits, but posting these to get them out of the way.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MnxTSlefj3Y/TlcM1Sehy2I/AAAAAAAAAEY/2cCjFdAIsmo/s1600/pregnant+with+gun.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:18 (six years ago) Permalink

Stockholm syndrome in those last pics from pp

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:29 (six years ago) Permalink

"The YOU of A" is the University of Arkansas' catchphrase? That is a shame.

toy_sleigher (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:47 (six years ago) Permalink

What strikes me about the gun pictures is how murderously aggressive the men look, while the women just look pregnant and content and not like an angry, gun-wielding, Dockers-wearing wingnut has them in a headlock.

carl agatha, Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:57 (six years ago) Permalink

And I mean, what's the point of that picture? "Don't fuck with my pregnant wife, pictured here in a headlock, or I'll fucking shoot you!" Do they hang these up on their doors under the "This property protected by Smith & Wesson" sign? Do the wives have shirts printed with these pictures to wear when their husbands aren't in headlocking distance? Is this their Christmas card and do people subsequently decline to pay holiday visits for fear of being shot? I just have so many questions.

carl agatha, Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:59 (six years ago) Permalink

"I have captured and drugged your pregnant wife and if you attempt to retrieve her, I will shoot you in the face!"

carl agatha, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:00 (six years ago) Permalink

You should try having an angry, gun-wielding, Dockers-wearing wingnut get you in a nice, tight, inescapable headlock sometime. Before you know it, the sense of security will overwhelm your synapses with the loveliest chemicals and you will not be able to remember how you lived before.

del griffith, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:04 (six years ago) Permalink

A paternity test might be your best shot for an answer.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8449/8017001277_c01cdaf73b_c.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:04 (six years ago) Permalink

Wasn't crazy about this one at first, until I imagined how nice a velour cushion would feel on one's own bare ass.

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6225/6852366366_1622497941_c.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:06 (six years ago) Permalink

^^ 70s roman polanski film vibe w/ that one

the memoirs of gaydrian (clouds), Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:08 (six years ago) Permalink

Do you think that photographer did some Photoshopping in the crotch area there? Something looks weird.

carl agatha, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:14 (six years ago) Permalink

she actually has no vagina.

packt like phoebe cates's dad in a chimney (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:56 (six years ago) Permalink

I don't understand the need to take off your shirt and SHOW me you are pregnant. If you tell me that you're pregnant, I'll believe you. It's been done before. Just write it on your standard stationary. Give me visual evidence when you get the highest score in Donkey Kong.

toy_sleigher (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 29 December 2012 19:20 (six years ago) Permalink

What strikes me about the gun pictures is how murderously aggressive the men look, while the women just look pregnant and content and not like an angry, gun-wielding, Dockers-wearing wingnut has them in a headlock.

― carl agatha, Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:57 PM (3 hours ago)

What (also) strikes me about them is the astonishment that there is more than one couple that wanted to be photographed in that pose

Lee626, Saturday, 29 December 2012 21:37 (six years ago) Permalink

Is the left not a parody of the right?

toy_sleigher (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 29 December 2012 21:42 (six years ago) Permalink

Apparently, since the pic on the right is on about 30 blogs but I can't find the other one elsewhere (tineye.com is so useful). But the woman in the parody doesn't look as happy/oblivious as the original

Lee626, Saturday, 29 December 2012 22:27 (six years ago) Permalink

seven months pass...

http://i.imgur.com/crvqoWl.jpg

pplains, Friday, 16 August 2013 17:41 (five years ago) Permalink

!

I tweeted too much and I am in jail. (crüt), Friday, 16 August 2013 17:42 (five years ago) Permalink

aaaaahahahahaha

Z S, Friday, 16 August 2013 17:43 (five years ago) Permalink

lollll

tylerw, Friday, 16 August 2013 17:44 (five years ago) Permalink

OMG lololol

Lawyer... SUAVE... (carl agatha), Friday, 16 August 2013 18:12 (five years ago) Permalink

one year passes...

http://i.imgur.com/EPLkvQH.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 18:26 (four years ago) Permalink

oh my

gr8080, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 18:28 (four years ago) Permalink

Found a smaller size, did an image search for something bigger, ended up posing something with a watermark. So off my game.

pplains, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 18:46 (four years ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

haha wat

pplains, Wednesday, 28 January 2015 14:55 (four years ago) Permalink

I'm sitting here with my jaw dropped, unable to look away.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 28 January 2015 21:37 (four years ago) Permalink

O_o

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 28 January 2015 21:45 (four years ago) Permalink

five months pass...

I know this isn't the right thread, but neither was the WE'RE EXPECTING thread either.

http://i.imgur.com/yp7IkCr.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 12:03 (three years ago) Permalink

it kinda belongs on the irrational anger thread cuz it's driving me nuts that the dates go 2010-2005-2012 instead of chronologically left-to-right

i also want to graffiti 'klaatu barada nikto' underneath it

bizarro gazzara, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 12:06 (three years ago) Permalink

x-post - I can tell you right now that I hate that couple. A lot. Also the chronology thing is annoying at first but it's sorta like a monogram with the wedding in the middle and each kid on a side. Better not have any oopsie third babies. Decorating nightmare.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 12:36 (three years ago) Permalink

It's a shame they all died though.

pplains, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 13:20 (three years ago) Permalink

irl lol

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:20 (three years ago) Permalink

at pp's post, not the horrible horrible wall of awful

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:21 (three years ago) Permalink

how can they have gone to the trouble of building a monument to the time of their children's births without specifying AM or PM?

1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:34 (three years ago) Permalink

ok i guess the wedding was presumably 2:30 pm but this doesn't excuse the left and right

1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:35 (three years ago) Permalink

plus now i'm gonna have to celebrate the strangers' births four times each year: 8:23 am + 8:23 pm on Dec 11th, 7:30 am + 7:30 pm on Feb 13th
fuck!

1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:36 (three years ago) Permalink

How could they have gone to the trouble without pausing to think about how awful and dated that's going to look in like two years? Maybe one at this point.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:37 (three years ago) Permalink

A+ thread

five six and (man alive), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:39 (three years ago) Permalink

That St. Louis one makes me think the Arch is the father every time.

pplains, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 17:05 (three years ago) Permalink

who the fuck would put a clock that low down on the wall?

feargal czukay (NickB), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 17:10 (three years ago) Permalink

not the same thing exactly but a family i knew in high school had a stillborn about 10yrs prior; they had photo of the stillborn on a mantelpiece with a permanent light over it

the mom signed christmas birthday cards etc from the family + baby's name "in heaven"

they were the nicest ppl but it weirded me out sooooo much

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 19:59 (three years ago) Permalink

There's only one way that could've been any worse.

pplains, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 20:00 (three years ago) Permalink

clock?

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 20:02 (three years ago) Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PYgDJSpZmX8

pplains, Sunday, 25 November 2018 01:20 (seven months ago) Permalink

That’s my gender.

I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Sunday, 25 November 2018 02:20 (seven months ago) Permalink

Just the black balloon bedecked with question marks, running away

I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Sunday, 25 November 2018 02:20 (seven months ago) Permalink

Congrats pplains

F# A# (∞), Sunday, 25 November 2018 04:53 (seven months ago) Permalink

it is a mystery

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 25 November 2018 06:22 (seven months ago) Permalink

Video of explosion at border agent's gender-reveal party that sparked Arizona wildfire released https://t.co/wNCzzaU0Pi pic.twitter.com/K8ClaoNsWF

— Arizona Daily Star (@TucsonStar) November 26, 2018

𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 02:55 (six months ago) Permalink

so, so dumb

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 27 November 2018 03:01 (six months ago) Permalink

Straight people continue to be the cause of all misfortune

I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Tuesday, 27 November 2018 03:49 (six months ago) Permalink

i had to

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/DQpjorzWAAIwjtH.jpg:large

macropuente (map), Sunday, 9 December 2018 03:16 (six months ago) Permalink

god damn it

alomar lines, Sunday, 9 December 2018 04:59 (six months ago) Permalink

three months pass...

The straights are at it again

moose; squirrel (silby), Monday, 1 April 2019 15:21 (two months ago) Permalink

boy are they ever

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 1 April 2019 15:21 (two months ago) Permalink

GORT
KLAATU
BERADA
NIKTO

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 1 April 2019 16:43 (two months ago) Permalink

I’ll take “Aspirational names that convey white class privilege” for six hundred, Alec.

rb (soda), Monday, 1 April 2019 16:48 (two months ago) Permalink

Channing surely more privileged-sounding than Tatum.

rob, Monday, 1 April 2019 16:50 (two months ago) Permalink

this is just north american whiteness

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Monday, 1 April 2019 16:50 (two months ago) Permalink

like white trash kids are also called Braygron or whatever

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Monday, 1 April 2019 16:50 (two months ago) Permalink

TROGDOR

Squeaky Fromage (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 1 April 2019 16:54 (two months ago) Permalink

i was in line at the grocery store and some reality tv star i'd never heard of was on the cover and her baby's name was "CREW" and i got IA

( ͡☉ ͜ʖ ͡☉) (jim in vancouver), Monday, 1 April 2019 16:55 (two months ago) Permalink

Does this constitute cultural appropriation? A couple decades of whites making fun of African American naming practices culminating in little Lakynns and Tatums running around is somehow both weird and predictable

rob, Monday, 1 April 2019 17:10 (two months ago) Permalink

seriously, can someone explain these names (to a European)? What's the etymology? Never seen anything like them

licorice oratorio (baaderonixx), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 07:35 (two months ago) Permalink

I remember introducing my American (then) girlfriend to an English friend called Alistair and she thought it was the strangest fkn name she'd ever heard

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 07:54 (two months ago) Permalink

seriously, can someone explain these names (to a European)?

take some names, cut them into individual syllables, put them in a hat, then randomly pick and combine between two and four of them

wherever possible, replace a vowel with a 'y'

congrats, now your beautiful caucasian baby is saddled with a stupid name

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 08:58 (two months ago) Permalink

Funny how, these (white) US names all sound futuristic and computer-generated, whereas in the part of Europe where I'm from, the trend for parents is to dig out outdated retro names from a hundred years ago.

licorice oratorio (baaderonixx), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 10:20 (two months ago) Permalink

From top 100 girls names in 2008 UK, these are all names I associate with women of my grandmother's generation

4. Lily+0
5. Ava+1
11. Grace+3
16. Evie+0
19. Elsie+27
20. Alice+3
29. Florence+10
34. Matilda+0
52. Penelope+14
70. Gracie+19
72. Esme-27
81. Rose-4
96. Victoria new!

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 11:06 (two months ago) Permalink

Sinutab? Propecia? Did somebody try to sneak those into that graph to make fun of black kids names?

silverfish, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 13:48 (two months ago) Permalink

yes. and I apologize if I opened the door to that being posted, but it's definitely racist

rob, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 13:52 (two months ago) Permalink

Those are two different women in the pics right?

Yerac, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 13:54 (two months ago) Permalink

xp it's an old Onion infographic https://www.theonion.com/most-popular-u-s-baby-names-1819586596 my apologies, I should have just linked or not posted it at all

Neil S, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:12 (two months ago) Permalink

huh, it's weird that the 1999 Onion graphic style just says "2019 facebook meme" to me now

rob, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:17 (two months ago) Permalink

NOBODY:

FUTURE DAD: Here, let just take my shirt off too.

https://i.imgur.com/b0T5oxW.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:19 (two months ago) Permalink

"Maybe if I just sorta start creeping away slowly, she won't even notice –"

https://i.imgur.com/Ygdo9CI.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:21 (two months ago) Permalink

"Dammit! She caught me."

https://i.imgur.com/oq1iFi6.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 14:21 (two months ago) Permalink

The thing about these that gets me is, like, other people have had a baby before you clods, why are you burdening us with this as if you are the inventors of pregnancy

moose; squirrel (silby), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:08 (two months ago) Permalink

Does this constitute cultural appropriation? A couple decades of whites making fun of African American naming practices culminating in little Lakynns and Tatums running around is somehow both weird and predictable

― rob, Monday, April 1, 2019 6:10 PM (yesterday)

I totally get this line of thought, and 'white people names' are often pretty stupid, but Tatum isn't a new invention by a long shot.

emil.y, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 15:15 (two months ago) Permalink

damn you're right, apparently it's Old English! but yeah, in terms of those two photos, the girls' names list is considerably more "innovative" than the boys', so gender would unsurprisingly be a big factor here too

rob, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 17:12 (two months ago) Permalink

Your children should be named for a dead relative, all other options are questionable

moose; squirrel (silby), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 17:32 (two months ago) Permalink

I find it interesting that Tatum was originally a feminine name (Tatum O'Neal was the first Tatum I ever heard of, and cursory research seems to suggest it skewed heavily female). I think the fact that there's at least one famous man with it as a surname gives it a more masculine feel, and possibly the 'um' ending feels more masculine too??

emil.y, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 17:52 (two months ago) Permalink

Sorry, this is a bit off the topic of laughing at idiots.

emil.y, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 17:52 (two months ago) Permalink

my problem with "Tatum" is it sounds like a name you'd give to a porky puppy

frogbs, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 17:57 (two months ago) Permalink

Funny how, these (white) US names all sound futuristic and computer-generated, whereas in the part of Europe where I'm from, the trend for parents is to dig out outdated retro names from a hundred years ago.


Lol. Ophelia. My husband picked the name.

nathom, Tuesday, 2 April 2019 20:13 (two months ago) Permalink

‘tatum’ sounds like some kind of heavily-processed potato product

mr greta t. gremlin (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 2 April 2019 20:29 (two months ago) Permalink

Tatums, gotta munch’um!!!

licorice oratorio (baaderonixx), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 17:47 (two months ago) Permalink

*mynch

a photographer, satanist and ukip voter (bizarro gazzara), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 17:55 (two months ago) Permalink

The straights mormons are at it again

― moose; squirrel (silby), Monday, April 1, 2019 3:21 PM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfIehCrO4Zs

☮ (peace, man), Wednesday, 3 April 2019 18:10 (two months ago) Permalink

lmao

polio coming for all the unvaccinated children of essential oil moms pic.twitter.com/yJIe8hniKX

— ΘΎΡΑ (@piramno) April 14, 2019

arli$$ and bible black (bizarro gazzara), Monday, 15 April 2019 08:40 (two months ago) Permalink

harsh but fair

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Monday, 15 April 2019 16:09 (two months ago) Permalink


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