WE'RE EXPECTING !!!!!!

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And these aren't official portraits, but posting these to get them out of the way.

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-MnxTSlefj3Y/TlcM1Sehy2I/AAAAAAAAAEY/2cCjFdAIsmo/s1600/pregnant+with+gun.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:18 (eleven years ago) link

Stockholm syndrome in those last pics from pp

LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:29 (eleven years ago) link

https://dl.dropbox.com/u/1484956/alien%20expecting.png

toy_sleigher (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:30 (eleven years ago) link

"The YOU of A" is the University of Arkansas' catchphrase? That is a shame.

toy_sleigher (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:47 (eleven years ago) link

What strikes me about the gun pictures is how murderously aggressive the men look, while the women just look pregnant and content and not like an angry, gun-wielding, Dockers-wearing wingnut has them in a headlock.

carl agatha, Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:57 (eleven years ago) link

And I mean, what's the point of that picture? "Don't fuck with my pregnant wife, pictured here in a headlock, or I'll fucking shoot you!" Do they hang these up on their doors under the "This property protected by Smith & Wesson" sign? Do the wives have shirts printed with these pictures to wear when their husbands aren't in headlocking distance? Is this their Christmas card and do people subsequently decline to pay holiday visits for fear of being shot? I just have so many questions.

carl agatha, Saturday, 29 December 2012 17:59 (eleven years ago) link

"I have captured and drugged your pregnant wife and if you attempt to retrieve her, I will shoot you in the face!"

carl agatha, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:00 (eleven years ago) link

You should try having an angry, gun-wielding, Dockers-wearing wingnut get you in a nice, tight, inescapable headlock sometime. Before you know it, the sense of security will overwhelm your synapses with the loveliest chemicals and you will not be able to remember how you lived before.

del griffith, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:04 (eleven years ago) link

A paternity test might be your best shot for an answer.

http://farm9.staticflickr.com/8449/8017001277_c01cdaf73b_c.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:04 (eleven years ago) link

Wasn't crazy about this one at first, until I imagined how nice a velour cushion would feel on one's own bare ass.

http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6225/6852366366_1622497941_c.jpg

pplains, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:06 (eleven years ago) link

^^ 70s roman polanski film vibe w/ that one

the memoirs of gaydrian (clouds), Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:08 (eleven years ago) link

Do you think that photographer did some Photoshopping in the crotch area there? Something looks weird.

carl agatha, Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:14 (eleven years ago) link

she actually has no vagina.

packt like phoebe cates's dad in a chimney (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Saturday, 29 December 2012 18:56 (eleven years ago) link

I don't understand the need to take off your shirt and SHOW me you are pregnant. If you tell me that you're pregnant, I'll believe you. It's been done before. Just write it on your standard stationary. Give me visual evidence when you get the highest score in Donkey Kong.

toy_sleigher (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 29 December 2012 19:20 (eleven years ago) link

What strikes me about the gun pictures is how murderously aggressive the men look, while the women just look pregnant and content and not like an angry, gun-wielding, Dockers-wearing wingnut has them in a headlock.

― carl agatha, Saturday, December 29, 2012 12:57 PM (3 hours ago)

What (also) strikes me about them is the astonishment that there is more than one couple that wanted to be photographed in that pose

Lee626, Saturday, 29 December 2012 21:37 (eleven years ago) link

Is the left not a parody of the right?

toy_sleigher (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 29 December 2012 21:42 (eleven years ago) link

Apparently, since the pic on the right is on about 30 blogs but I can't find the other one elsewhere (tineye.com is so useful). But the woman in the parody doesn't look as happy/oblivious as the original

Lee626, Saturday, 29 December 2012 22:27 (eleven years ago) link

seven months pass...

http://i.imgur.com/crvqoWl.jpg

pplains, Friday, 16 August 2013 17:41 (ten years ago) link

!

I tweeted too much and I am in jail. (crüt), Friday, 16 August 2013 17:42 (ten years ago) link

aaaaahahahahaha

Z S, Friday, 16 August 2013 17:43 (ten years ago) link

lollll

tylerw, Friday, 16 August 2013 17:44 (ten years ago) link

OMG lololol

Lawyer... SUAVE... (carl agatha), Friday, 16 August 2013 18:12 (ten years ago) link

one year passes...

http://i.imgur.com/EPLkvQH.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 18:26 (nine years ago) link

oh my

gr8080, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 18:28 (nine years ago) link

Found a smaller size, did an image search for something bigger, ended up posing something with a watermark. So off my game.

pplains, Tuesday, 6 January 2015 18:46 (nine years ago) link

three weeks pass...

haha wat

pplains, Wednesday, 28 January 2015 14:55 (nine years ago) link

I'm sitting here with my jaw dropped, unable to look away.

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Wednesday, 28 January 2015 21:37 (nine years ago) link

O_o

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, 28 January 2015 21:45 (nine years ago) link

five months pass...

I know this isn't the right thread, but neither was the WE'RE EXPECTING thread either.

http://i.imgur.com/yp7IkCr.jpg

pplains, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 12:03 (eight years ago) link

it kinda belongs on the irrational anger thread cuz it's driving me nuts that the dates go 2010-2005-2012 instead of chronologically left-to-right

i also want to graffiti 'klaatu barada nikto' underneath it

bizarro gazzara, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 12:06 (eight years ago) link

x-post - I can tell you right now that I hate that couple. A lot. Also the chronology thing is annoying at first but it's sorta like a monogram with the wedding in the middle and each kid on a side. Better not have any oopsie third babies. Decorating nightmare.

Benson and the Jets (ENBB), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 12:36 (eight years ago) link

It's a shame they all died though.

pplains, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 13:20 (eight years ago) link

irl lol

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:20 (eight years ago) link

at pp's post, not the horrible horrible wall of awful

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:21 (eight years ago) link

how can they have gone to the trouble of building a monument to the time of their children's births without specifying AM or PM?

1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:34 (eight years ago) link

ok i guess the wedding was presumably 2:30 pm but this doesn't excuse the left and right

1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:35 (eight years ago) link

plus now i'm gonna have to celebrate the strangers' births four times each year: 8:23 am + 8:23 pm on Dec 11th, 7:30 am + 7:30 pm on Feb 13th
fuck!

1992 ball boy (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:36 (eight years ago) link

How could they have gone to the trouble without pausing to think about how awful and dated that's going to look in like two years? Maybe one at this point.

from batman to balloon dog (carl agatha), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:37 (eight years ago) link

A+ thread

five six and (man alive), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 15:39 (eight years ago) link

That St. Louis one makes me think the Arch is the father every time.

pplains, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 17:05 (eight years ago) link

who the fuck would put a clock that low down on the wall?

feargal czukay (NickB), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 17:10 (eight years ago) link

not the same thing exactly but a family i knew in high school had a stillborn about 10yrs prior; they had photo of the stillborn on a mantelpiece with a permanent light over it

the mom signed christmas birthday cards etc from the family + baby's name "in heaven"

they were the nicest ppl but it weirded me out sooooo much

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 19:59 (eight years ago) link

There's only one way that could've been any worse.

pplains, Tuesday, 21 July 2015 20:00 (eight years ago) link

clock?

difficult-difficult lemon-difficult (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 21 July 2015 20:02 (eight years ago) link

You talk a small game for someone with such a big truck.

emil.y, Friday, 4 September 2020 20:33 (three years ago) link

hate when i'm driving my 18 wheeler and this happens

℺ ☽ ⋠ ⏎ (✖), Friday, 4 September 2020 20:56 (three years ago) link

Like you all have never heard of a baby carrier.

pplains, Friday, 4 September 2020 21:43 (three years ago) link

m'lady

a certain derecho (brownie), Friday, 4 September 2020 22:03 (three years ago) link

strong Transformers 9 energy

rob, Friday, 4 September 2020 22:30 (three years ago) link

#ElDoradoFire | SAN BERNARDINO/ INYO/ MONO UNIT |
El Dorado Fire Cause pic.twitter.com/PNBQWMXMwK

— CAL FIRE (@CAL_FIRE) September 7, 2020

contorted filbert (harbl), Monday, 7 September 2020 12:45 (three years ago) link

assholes

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 7 September 2020 15:21 (three years ago) link

sanpaku posted about that this morning, along with ANOTHER gender reveal fire (that one was only 10 acres, though)

fucking crazy man

Karl Malone, Monday, 7 September 2020 15:57 (three years ago) link

surely a cake would suffice

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 7 September 2020 16:13 (three years ago) link

throw some candles on there, you can still burn shit down while revealing

Karl Malone, Monday, 7 September 2020 16:42 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

https://i.imgur.com/m94366y.jpg

pplains, Sunday, 11 October 2020 18:25 (three years ago) link

one month passes...

I hate these can u imagine if gay people invited their family over for a party so they could wear shirts that said “the cum came from HERE and went THERE!” my family would never speak to me again pic.twitter.com/PRvKQc5AQr

— dylan (@dylaneatswings) November 23, 2020

superdeep borehole (harbl), Saturday, 28 November 2020 18:16 (three years ago) link

How it started. How it’s going. pic.twitter.com/KZaFkFgGrU

— YS (@NYinLA2121) December 1, 2020

early-Woolf semantic prosody (Hadrian VIII), Tuesday, 1 December 2020 19:37 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

the fact that it was an irl ~cannon~ filled with ~too mich gunpowder~

like

folks

what were they even trying to do here bc surely their intent was not to kill a friend jfc

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 00:30 (three years ago) link

The homeowner had purchased the cannon at an auction and had fired it several times before

imagine having this dolt for a neighbour.

Dusty Benelux (jim in vancouver), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 00:37 (three years ago) link

Would it be untoward to say... that someone wasn't expecting?

eatandoph (Neue Jesse Schule), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 00:50 (three years ago) link

not untoward at all.. very toward actually

Joses Chrust (map), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 02:06 (three years ago) link

CNN supposedly such a trusted news source, and yet, not one word about the baby's gender.

pplains, Tuesday, 9 February 2021 02:19 (three years ago) link

two months pass...

Someone blew up a gravel pit with tannerite for a goddamn GENDER REVEAL and now our tap water is brown.

— Maggie ‘The Sluttiest Little Farmer’ Jasmin (@Magsalicious) April 22, 2021

superdeep borehole (harbl), Thursday, 22 April 2021 23:17 (two years ago) link

What, what I ask you, is wrong with the hets

Canon in Deez (silby), Friday, 23 April 2021 00:05 (two years ago) link

what indeed

UPDATE: Kingston police say approx. 80 pounds of Tannerite were used at that gender reveal party that caused a massive explosion that shook homes for miles. Man who detonated it has turned himself in to police and is cooperating. Police haven’t decided on charges. @UnionLeader

— Jason Schreiber (@Schreibernews) April 22, 2021

superdeep borehole (harbl), Friday, 23 April 2021 02:42 (two years ago) link

fun context--in its intended purpose tannerite is supposed to be used 1-2 lbs at a time.

call all destroyer, Friday, 23 April 2021 03:04 (two years ago) link

also, new hampshire

call all destroyer, Friday, 23 April 2021 03:05 (two years ago) link

would've been better if they'd made the water blue or pink depending on the sex of the child.

koogs, Friday, 23 April 2021 05:22 (two years ago) link

and yet trans people are considered the danger to society

boxedjoy, Friday, 23 April 2021 08:06 (two years ago) link

lol

My organization has hidden the gender of 5 babies around the city. We will reveal one every hour until our demands have been met

— ALEX “THE POSTING PHREAK” PTAK (@PtakJokes) April 23, 2021

rob, Friday, 23 April 2021 19:57 (two years ago) link

lmao

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 23 April 2021 20:25 (two years ago) link

four months pass...

maybe the worst ever

I'll never delete Facebook. pic.twitter.com/FXXqKkU34p

— Leo I guess (@Leodgrad) September 18, 2021

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 19 September 2021 18:34 (two years ago) link

oh wow, uh, congratulations big guy

i’m surprised she didnt include a gleeful selfie of her peeing on the stick as well

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 19 September 2021 19:18 (two years ago) link

hahaha

kinder, Sunday, 19 September 2021 19:57 (two years ago) link

idgi, is the premise that she might have frozen the pregnancy test in a popsicle and then documented it's melting and his reaction, if she were NOT pregnant?

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Monday, 20 September 2021 19:47 (two years ago) link

oops its. please saddle me with cone of shame asap

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Monday, 20 September 2021 19:48 (two years ago) link

has anyone saved the 9/11 version of this? dead link above.

https://i.imgur.com/0UwM0iJ.jpg

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 20 September 2021 19:57 (two years ago) link

three months pass...

obvs not really the right thread but

my most hated genre of family photos pic.twitter.com/ndJFmMDlum

— amy ⚢ (@chlorofem) December 19, 2021

rob, Monday, 20 December 2021 18:33 (two years ago) link

🤮

Nedlene Grendel as Basenji Holmo (map), Monday, 20 December 2021 18:40 (two years ago) link

two months pass...

The absolute CHAOS of this onesie my mom sent us for the baby… pic.twitter.com/wH7l9sASBI

— Evan D. Watkins (@VanWatz) March 11, 2022

rob, Saturday, 12 March 2022 15:04 (one year ago) link

Baby mom needs to get checked out at a hospital asap

kinder, Saturday, 12 March 2022 18:41 (one year ago) link

I want to see your heart like AN ANIMAL.

pplains, Saturday, 12 March 2022 19:30 (one year ago) link

i had to read that shit like 5 times to even mildly comprehend it

looks like it was designed on horseback

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Saturday, 12 March 2022 19:41 (one year ago) link

looks like it was designed on horseback

lol, I don't even know what this means, but it's a perfect description.

pplains, Saturday, 12 March 2022 20:11 (one year ago) link

one year passes...

And in Iowa in October 2019, a gender reveal party went south when the family unintentionally built a pipe bomb. When the device went off the entire pipe exploded, sending shrapnel flying that hit and killed a grandmother standing nearby.

lmao/r.i.p.

i predict that the kids born from these tragedies will have powerful dark magic about them

sleepy bee (cat), Tuesday, 5 September 2023 19:10 (five months ago) link

in the video of the plane crash, the camera follows the plane briefly after its wing detaches and then starts plunging to the ground, then pans back to the happy couple embracing under a cloudy streak of pink. i'll (hopefully) assume they didn't see it was crashing.

omar little, Tuesday, 5 September 2023 19:27 (five months ago) link

First time I saw the video, I thought the pilot was doing a fancy trick.

pplains, Tuesday, 5 September 2023 19:27 (five months ago) link

... by making his wing fold back on to the — Look, I didn't say I was paying that much attention to it.

pplains, Tuesday, 5 September 2023 19:28 (five months ago) link

"if the left wing falls off, it's a girl..."

omar little, Tuesday, 5 September 2023 19:50 (five months ago) link

I feel like I know it's a "her", but sometimes my wings bend back

cracked fixed view mire (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 5 September 2023 21:08 (five months ago) link

five months pass...

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