your terrible ideas

Isle X

consumer-grade nuclear reactor

for the home

KIRKLAND 64-pack fuel rods

i think this is actually a good idea, which i've had for a long time, and i would put it into action except it requires technical know-how i don't have and more importantly would result in me being sued back into the stone age but: a website where i upload the commentary tracks from DVD sets/laserdiscs, and people can stream them or download them and listen to them like podcasts. all those commentary tracks have gotten lost in the streaming era and someone needs to archive them.

yeah that idea is not sufficiently terrible. try having a mini-chernobyl in your house.

The kirkland control rod tips, made from recycled sprite bottles, are just as good as the name brand control rod tips.

a twitter phenomenon called mitt's listening party where everyone hashtags in comments to mormon tabernacle choir recordings

OnlyFans, but for sharks. Call it OnlyFins.

attn: zoo marketing departments

all those commentary tracks have gotten lost in the streaming era and someone needs to archive them.

Disney+ includes extras to an extent, not sure how comprehensive the archives are

First they came for the blooper reels, and I said nothing...

Blackdraft. Blaxploitation firefighter movie.

Rise-in-the-oven meatloaf. We call it “Meast.”

Firefighter movie about drug addicts = crackdraft

Actually that works for plumbers as well

Braquedraft. Firefighting Fauvist flick.

a dating app for cinephiles. no names ages or genders displayed (in the free version), just your top 10 movies.

Could be a good system for preventing men from getting dates

A cover of Joy Division's 'Atmosphere' in the style of Russ Abbot's 'Atmosphere'.
A cover of Russ Abbot's 'Atmosphere' in the style of Joy Division's 'Atmosphere'.

Have you seen that spoof John Lewis ad

A mall kiosk called "Time's Up!" Customers wear a chef's apron and throw their arms up in the air. We take their picture and superimpose "Time's up, chefs!" on it.

mail is still delivered by a mailman but you have to fight him and win to get it each day

lol

A vidyagame where, once every 50 to 100 years, superadvanced aliens send an agent to try and establish rock n' roll on earth. You play as the agent sent at various times in Earth's history. The agent cannot advance Earth's technology to establish rock n' roll because such acceleration would lead to Earth's self-destruction. The first agent is Jesus Christ. The aliens are using rock n' roll to accelerate Earth's population growth, ultimately yielding a 'harvest' worth the long and costly space travel. The game is called Jesus Christ Rock n Roll Alien Harvester.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LEUGPEVRDmU

WSB-style subreddit for pumping Franklin Mint collectors' plates

mail is still delivered by a mailman but you have to fight him and win to get it each day

― he said that you son of a bitch (Neanderthal), Saturday, 13 February 2021 06:32 (three days ago) bookmarkflaglink

I live at 524. If he or she has made it this far, I would be happy with my chances

I will fight and defeat anyone, but I will also deliver fresh delicious tacos to your mailbox on a daily basis

parody of "Tweeter and the Monkey Man" by the Traveling Wilburys, aimed at the only 80s kids will understand set: "Thundercats and Monkian"

fake plug-in modification to regular gas car so you can pretend you are charging it and use the good parking spaces

No, genius

Lol

Haha harbl. Genius!

harbl I'll give you 20% and royalties, I'll do everything

i will pay 500% on the dollar, for nothing in return except financial optimism, and i'll lie to the grand jury if it comes to that

WHEN it comes to that - these fucking grand juries!!

a dating app for cinephiles. no names ages or genders displayed (in the free version), just your top 10 movies.

― stylish but illegal (Simon H.), Tuesday, January 26, 2021 10:18 PM (four weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

Would use. At least until a date devolved into me hollering at him/her/other "What the hell is so great about [genre I loathe]?"

a restaurant where you order food but the entire restaurant is simultaneously playing a trivia game which involves spinning a wheel and you can land on special squares which allow you to steal other tables' meals or swap them after you already started eating

I very vividly envisioned an entire commercial for a nonexistent Time-Life compilation entitled Twerk Fever, which is just a collection of disco-era hits with updated twerk-centric lyrics, all sung by the original artists. You know, 'Love to Twerk You Baby', 'He's the Greatest Twerker', 'Twerking Wonderland'. To wit, remember this popular Bee Gees number?

How good can you twerk?
How good can you twerk?
I really need to know
'Cause we're twerking in a world of grooves
Twerkin' on down
Would you like to come and see?
We're great twerkers, you and me

(I didn't say they were all disco songs, just disco-era songs.)

The video in the commercial is made up to look exactly like period clips of people in a discotheque except instead of doing the Hustle or the Saturday Night Fever they're all twerking.

This is, at minimum, a six-disc set. Order your copy now!

r u Ryan Stiles?

a dating app for cinephiles. no names ages or genders displayed (in the free version), just your top 10 movies.
― stylish but illegal (Simon H.), Tuesday, January 26, 2021 10:18 PM (four weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

Would use. At least until a date devolved into me hollering at him/her/other "What the hell is so great about [genre I loathe]?"

― Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Thursday, February 25, 2021 8:58 AM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

A dating app where you create your list of the top 10 greatest films of all time. Each profile, you swipe the movie that doesn't deserve to be on anyone's top 10 list, thereby also eliminating anyone else with that film on their top ten list. Eventually, you date no one.

I suppose it'll be nice to have it automated.

I didn't say they were all disco songs, just disco-era songs.

This is an important stipulation.

Who can forget "Twerkin' 9 to 5"?

Thank you, I did say six discs minimum so load 'er up

Christopher Cross: "Twerking takes me away to where I'm going"

Eddie Rabbitt: "I'm twerking my life away."

Lindsey Buckingham: "Twerkin' out for love."

Etc.

i been twerkin my way back to you babe

A+

YMTA

Twerkin' in a coal mine
goin down down down