your terrible ideas

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1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (nine years ago) Permalink

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (nine years ago) Permalink

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

i yelled "BIG HOOS" but i was yelling at my steen (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (nine years ago) Permalink

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (nine years ago) Permalink

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

sorry about all those typos, but i'm in an irl rush

Karl Malone, Saturday, 16 February 2019 20:43 (four months ago) Permalink

on a different note, in michigan i think the two landmasses should be referred to as the "upper peninsula" and "the continent"

Karl Malone, Saturday, 16 February 2019 21:22 (four months ago) Permalink

That is actually an awesome idea, will support ur kickstarter

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 16 February 2019 23:18 (four months ago) Permalink

I like where you're going with a fool that shows who talked the most. But I fear they will take that as meaning that they contributed the most, which is usually the wrong takeaway.

Can you set it so that the loudest, most domineering people have their volume progressively reduced? Or put their voice through a wacky filter that makes them sound like Tweety Bird?

Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 17 February 2019 00:14 (four months ago) Permalink

Ha, imagine the time-lapse version shown at the end, just an oblivious guy's face getting bigger while his mouth keeps opening and closing.

pplains, Sunday, 17 February 2019 00:24 (four months ago) Permalink

Great idea. But my approach in 100% of these meetings is to speak as little as possible while also making sure I have spoken enough to be remembered as having spoken. Just creating the illusion of contribution. And this would mess with that. But I guess I could learn to exploit the way that any noise - paper torn, pen clicked, knee slapped - results in momentary focus, and effect stealth domination.

Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 17 February 2019 01:04 (four months ago) Permalink

I'm dying

frame casual (dog latin), Monday, 18 February 2019 23:57 (four months ago) Permalink

I'm actually dead. I wonder if Karl's idea could be adapted to real life meetings. like, you could hire someone to work a foot pump

frame casual (dog latin), Monday, 18 February 2019 23:59 (four months ago) Permalink

another version might be to give everyone identical screen space but to adjust the zoom based on speaking time. the dominant speaker might just be a close-up of a mouth or eyeball, while the quiet people would get zoomed out so far that they'd just be a vaguely human shape behind a desk in the background of the office

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 19 February 2019 00:06 (four months ago) Permalink

my current twitter profile is a plant, and i just made a joke involving fruit on a tree, and it got me thinking that from now on maybe i should only talk about things as if i were a talking plant

Karl Malone, Saturday, 23 February 2019 00:35 (three months ago) Permalink

self-suck dump truck

moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 1 March 2019 01:37 (three months ago) Permalink

A third party database of youtube video ids and titles, for all those (future) threads full of unlabelled broken embeds when the original vids have disappeared.

what if bod was one of us (ledge), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:06 (three months ago) Permalink

that's a terrible idea because youtube links will always be there! google is so big and important that surely someone will make sure that all the references to billions of videos made during the early years of the 21st century remain intact!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfdkQGQ5xpA

but i'm there are fuckups (Karl Malone), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:09 (three months ago) Permalink

ikr, imagine the loss to history if the thread of manic strumming ends up full of broken embeds.

what if bod was one of us (ledge), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:12 (three months ago) Permalink

that would be like if i posted hundreds of awful gifs to a single thread using a photobucket account, and then photobucket got taken over by ancient aliens so i deleted everything in a panic, leaving the original thread in a somehow even uglier state than before

but i'm there are fuckups (Karl Malone), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:16 (three months ago) Permalink

A remake of Edward Scissorhands called Edward Tablethands, where the titular character has a pair of cheap Android tablets instead of hands.

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 23 March 2019 14:21 (two months ago) Permalink

A Streetheart/Honeymoon Suite cover band called Suiteheart

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Saturday, 23 March 2019 23:53 (two months ago) Permalink

Does anyone have Randy Newman's email address? I'd like to pitch him my idea for Newman Sings Newman, an album of tunes sung from the perspective of Wayne Knight's irascible Seinfeld character.

The First Time Ever I Fly @ U Face (Old Lunch), Monday, 25 March 2019 16:31 (two months ago) Permalink

Gotta wait until I get the bad guy from The Fifth Element to offer his version.

pplains, Monday, 25 March 2019 16:42 (two months ago) Permalink

(Gary) Oldman shouts at clouds

kinder, Monday, 25 March 2019 18:20 (two months ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

To make a book after the fashion of Cory Arcangel’s Working On My Novel (and numerous ilafl compendia) called The Tweet, Now Deleted,

milkshake chuk (wins), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 15:49 (one month ago) Permalink

https://www.instructables.com/files/deriv/F8C/A9FY/H994TN1Z/F8CA9FYH994TN1Z.MEDIUM.jpg
I was gonna post here about making a ski free game where you get to be the yeti but a quick google search decimated that idea. *sigh* Their game doesn't even look like ski free.

ilm jive mind (FlopsyDuck), Thursday, 25 April 2019 01:38 (one month ago) Permalink

might as well rewrite moby-dick from the perspective of the whale

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:39 (one month ago) Permalink

moby-dick was due for a reboot

these are not all of the possible side effects (Karl Malone), Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:46 (one month ago) Permalink

While rummaging through the hard drive of my desktop computer I just found this list of bad Star Trek Voyager fanfic ideas:

  • Voyager / Frasier: The Doctor travels through a wormhole and meets two doctors who are even more pompous and stuck up than he is.
  • Voyager / Red Dwarf – the crews of both ships meet due to a tiny wormhole bridging the two realities. Due to the size of the wormhole, only the holographic crew members can pass through. Red Dwarf get a visit from The Doctor. Voyager get a visit from Rimmer.
  • Voyager / Mary Poppins – Mary and Janeway swap places.
  • Voyager / Doctor Who - Seven of Nine helps The Doctor defeat the Cybermen.
  • Voyager / Battlestar Galactica (original series) - Starbuck and Lt. Barclay discuss The A Team.

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 28 April 2019 16:47 (one month ago) Permalink

this thread is for terrible ideas

the late great, Sunday, 28 April 2019 16:57 (one month ago) Permalink

the first two are gold

the late great, Sunday, 28 April 2019 16:58 (one month ago) Permalink

I’ve sat on this for over a year. I haven’t posted it because it would only work in an emotionless world but here goes:

One of my terrible ideas is for non-traditional marriages to be called marrieges. The federal law would allow marrieges to behave exactly like marriages in every code/law of the land; the only difference (besides the spelling) is that marrieges wouldn’t claim any association with christianity, only a civil union and all that that entails.

It’s a dumb idea in that it caters to anti-gay-marriage Christians and would likely cause many gay people to feel separate but not equal and left out of Christianity. At the same time there is nothing actually stopping gay people from being Christians.... and if there ended up being no unintentional consequences from my terrible merriege idea, it could effectively shut up anti-gay-marriage Christians while providing a tongue-in-cheek way of letting gay people get married without having to hear anti-gay-marriage stuff in the news anymore (eventually).

I’m sure there are many more reasons why this is a terrible idea and I cringe thinking about the kind of feedback I’d get if I were to suggest this is anything but a terrible idea.

ilm jive mind (FlopsyDuck), Saturday, 4 May 2019 00:26 (one month ago) Permalink

it's just a piece of peper

kinder, Saturday, 4 May 2019 08:47 (one month ago) Permalink

Patar Pipar pickad a pack of picklad pappar

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 4 May 2019 09:19 (one month ago) Permalink

A John Foxx era Ultravox tribute band that only play toy keyboards, called Yama!-Ha!-Ha!-Ha!

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 5 May 2019 13:38 (one month ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

Retro futuristic storage units for less than £20 a month: Space £19.99

koogs, Monday, 20 May 2019 16:03 (one month ago) Permalink

Ok I had this idea earlier for twitter but it belongs here

Concept: eating popcorn at the movies but instead of popcorn it’s a bucket of room temperature tortellini

— Evan (@silby) May 21, 2019

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 06:25 (four weeks ago) Permalink

I assume you're talking about just scooping it out by the handful. I don't know if it's a worse idea with or without sauce. Hmm.

5 favrite kind of animal. jaguar. giraffe. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 12:01 (four weeks ago) Permalink

this thread is for terrible ideas, what is this glittering gem of an idea doing here

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 12:03 (four weeks ago) Permalink

Honestly, I was just trying to be supportive of the effort. Sorry, silby, but you've failed this thread.

5 favrite kind of animal. jaguar. giraffe. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 12:12 (four weeks ago) Permalink

gypsum caves. salt caves are old news. book some time in one of our many gypsum caves and reap all of the health benefits of gypsum. each gypsum cave is an empty room with drywall.

i got bag sauce in my bag (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 23 May 2019 23:15 (four weeks ago) Permalink

you've been high but you've never been eating pasta with your hands outside of olive garden high

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 24 May 2019 15:27 (three weeks ago) Permalink

trisha does not explicitly state that you shouldn't dump garth's tortellini breakfast bowl into your purse and take it to the movies

i got bag sauce in my bag (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 24 May 2019 16:41 (three weeks ago) Permalink

A supergroup consisting of Jeff Beck; Beck Hansen; and Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson. Called, of course, Jeff Beck Hanson.

mitt the hoopla (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 25 May 2019 16:50 (three weeks ago) Permalink

A political party called Leave Brexit.
Aims clear from the name. Any further elaboration would be flowery waffle for latte-sippers.

kinder, Monday, 27 May 2019 09:03 (three weeks ago) Permalink

The ‘Love Trumps Hate’ sign is similarly ambiguous

i will never make a typo ever again (Karl Malone), Monday, 27 May 2019 14:24 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Har Mar Superstar tribute act featuring a grandmother from Texas, called Yee Har Grand-mar.

just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 18:36 (three weeks ago) Permalink

'bus radio' - basically the bus equivalent of in-store radio stations in supermarkets. The between-song banter could be relevant to travelling by bus, and there could even be shout-outs and dedications ("this next record is dedicated to the guy at the front with the skateboard - several other people on board think you're an obnoxious loud-mouthed tool").

just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 18:56 (three weeks ago) Permalink

is it broadcast by someone at the back of each particular bus?

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 20:08 (three weeks ago) Permalink

an a.i. jeff ross is dj of each bus

i got bag sauce in my bag (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 20:11 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Agile Ed Debevics. basically you hire our scrum masters to take over your Agile office. they are really mean to you in meetings, but they do coordinated dances between the cubes. plus milkshakes.

Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 30 May 2019 21:43 (three weeks ago) Permalink

An LP of George Gershwin songs done in a breakcore/bassline style, called "Fascinating Riddim"

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:26 (three weeks ago) Permalink

Convincing Force MDs to license their biggest hit for use in commercials for a popular dating app.

Fiat Earther (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 11 June 2019 12:15 (one week ago) Permalink


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