your terrible ideas

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1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (ten years ago) link

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (ten years ago) link

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (ten years ago) link

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (ten years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (ten years ago) link

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (ten years ago) link

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (ten years ago) link

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (ten years ago) link

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (ten years ago) link

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (ten years ago) link

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (ten years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (ten years ago) link

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (ten years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (ten years ago) link

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (ten years ago) link

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (ten years ago) link

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (ten years ago) link

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (ten years ago) link

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (ten years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (ten years ago) link

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (ten years ago) link

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (ten years ago) link

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (ten years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (ten years ago) link

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (ten years ago) link

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (ten years ago) link

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (ten years ago) link

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (ten years ago) link

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (ten years ago) link

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (ten years ago) link

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (ten years ago) link

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (ten years ago) link

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (ten years ago) link

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (ten years ago) link

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (ten years ago) link

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (ten years ago) link

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (ten years ago) link

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (ten years ago) link

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:41 (ten years ago) link

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (ten years ago) link

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (ten years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (ten years ago) link

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (ten years ago) link

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (ten years ago) link

a law that allows adults with braces to skip airport security. clearly, they plan to be alive for awhile.

latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 20 February 2020 19:52 (one month ago) link

An advert for Bisto gravy that uses Ottowan's 'DISCO' for the music, and it's set in a recreation of Studio 54. Except people on the dancefloor are smearing themselves in gravy and snorting gravy powder like cocaine etc..

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:00 (one month ago) link

here is my terrible idea:

an underwear line made up entirely of thongs silkscreened with Bloomberg's face

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:06 (one month ago) link

Do you mean garments upon which Bloomberg's visage has been applied via silkscreen or do you mean that someone has removed Bloomberg's face and is using it to silkscreen garments

Hot, Now, and Oh-So-Very Wow! (Old Lunch), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:13 (one month ago) link

I think like the Turin shroud

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:14 (one month ago) link

removing Bloomberg's face is not a terrible idea

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:16 (one month ago) link

This is not my terrible idea but WOW is it terrible

McDonald’s to sell limited edition six-pack of candles that smell like Quarter Pounder ingredients: Ketchup, Pickle, Cheese, Onion & Beef. pic.twitter.com/XpBv6l79S0

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 20, 2020

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:18 (one month ago) link

I should get those

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:19 (one month ago) link

will the onion one make you cry?

Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:20 (one month ago) link

A cheese scented candle?!

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:21 (one month ago) link

Isn't that just a block of cheese with a candle wick in it?

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:22 (one month ago) link

This is not my terrible idea but WOW is it terrible

McDonald’s to sell limited edition six-pack of candles that smell like Quarter Pounder ingredients: Ketchup, Pickle, Cheese, Onion & Beef. pic.twitter.com/XpBv6l79S0
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 20, 2020

― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, February 20, 2020 3:18 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Better or worse than the Gwyneth Paltrow vagina-scented candle?

Life is a banquet and my invitation was lost in the mail (j.lu), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:23 (one month ago) link

Wait

WHAT

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:23 (one month ago) link

xp depends which of the McD's candles it smells most like

mh, Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:23 (one month ago) link

A real (combined) McDonald's scented candle would just smell of warm cardboard.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:31 (one month ago) link

'Oh no no no, that wasn't me, it was my six McDonalds Quarter Pounder candles.' (quickly + surreptitiously lights candles)

Hot, Now, and Oh-So-Very Wow! (Old Lunch), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:33 (one month ago) link

mh, report to the penalty box (which smells like- no, I can't finish that joke)

totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:34 (one month ago) link

*lights pepsi cola candle*

mh, Thursday, 20 February 2020 20:35 (one month ago) link

An advert for Bisto gravy that uses Ottowan's 'DISCO' for the music, and it's set in a recreation of Studio 54. Except people on the dancefloor are smearing themselves in gravy and snorting gravy powder like cocaine etc..

ton idée, c’est OK, c’est bath, c’est in

breastcrawl, Thursday, 20 February 2020 21:07 (one month ago) link

a stage play in the style of Frost/Nixon (I have not seen it, just going off what I know of the concept) called Trump/Clinton

it's all about the prep of Clinton going into the debates, how she decides to frame her arguments as if she's lecturing a small child on how he can't be president, and the script lingers way too long on moments where she's directly speaking to an audience with him creepily leering over her shoulder

mh, Monday, 24 February 2020 01:03 (one month ago) link

there's a self-insert scene where it pans out to me watching on my couch, drinking heavily, and mumbling about how she debated the guy she had to defeat to get in the NY senate more effectively

then there's a recreation of that guy, and he's played by Mickey Mouse, who he sounded like

mh, Monday, 24 February 2020 01:14 (one month ago) link

Quid Pro Quo - a Status Quo tribute band who are not very good, but it only costs £1 to see them.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 29 February 2020 20:10 (one month ago) link

haha

kinder, Saturday, 29 February 2020 20:11 (one month ago) link

Lol

sorry for butt rockin (Neanderthal), Saturday, 29 February 2020 21:27 (one month ago) link

Rescore 'Blade Runner' using Jean-Michel Jarre's 'Zoolook' album.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 7 March 2020 14:43 (three weeks ago) link

i'll see that & raise you a disney style live action remake of spirited away.

Paperbag raita (ledge), Saturday, 7 March 2020 14:44 (three weeks ago) link

sorry, 'live action'.

Paperbag raita (ledge), Saturday, 7 March 2020 14:44 (three weeks ago) link

Oh for fuck’s sake, I’d protest the premiere

college bong rip guy (silby), Saturday, 7 March 2020 15:31 (three weeks ago) link

A gameshow like family fued, but the survey is fed into a nlp algorithm that estimates the likelihood of an answer. Goal is to give an answer that <0.1% of population would give according to the algorithm. Answers fed into algorithm in real time to prevent successful reuse of good answers.

latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 7 March 2020 15:40 (three weeks ago) link

i like that idea but i would change the successful range to something like 0.1%< x < 1.0%, because otherwise you could just answer "ten stamp ralphie cat banana face" or whatever. setting the target zone just higher would mean you'd have to answer with something that's just barely plausible and still makes some sense

But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Saturday, 7 March 2020 16:32 (three weeks ago) link

so we are a team then. let's go get some investors.

latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 7 March 2020 16:36 (three weeks ago) link

the pitch meeting should start like this:

"hello group of 6 middle-aged men with shaved heads sitting behind the same side of a long table. what if we asked you one question - "what dish would you bring to a 4th of july potluck?" - but with a twist. you have to come up with an answer that between 0.1% and 1.0% of the general population agrees with? go ahead, please. try to answer that question now."

"...no, incorrect."
"....no, think a little less common, less than 1% but greater than 0.1%"
"....-n-no. no."
"...haha, no that's not right"
"...haha i'm afraid "ten stamp ralphie cat banana face" is a little too esoteric, remember you need to guess something that is greater than 0.1% as well, so it can't just be a random string of words"
"...no"

...

"well it looks like we're out of time for this episode, i mean pitch meeting. thank you for your time"

But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Saturday, 7 March 2020 16:49 (three weeks ago) link

(possible back-up plan in case pitch meeting doesn't go well: in a 6th sense style twist ending, tell them that the meeting they just had WAS an episode! in fact, it was the pilot. this will buy more time for maneuvering and adjustments to the pitch, possibly leading to a second meeting)

But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Saturday, 7 March 2020 16:50 (three weeks ago) link

do you not have Pointless in the US?

kinder, Saturday, 7 March 2020 17:56 (three weeks ago) link

eminem starts rapping like it's y2k again, making novelty songs about pop culture

he'd rhyme "billie eilish" with "coronavirus" obviously

absolute idiot liar uneducated person (mh), Thursday, 19 March 2020 17:58 (one week ago) link

saw a twitter joke like that except it was miley cyrus instead of billie eilish

na (NA), Thursday, 19 March 2020 18:15 (one week ago) link

his references are a little out of date, sure

absolute idiot liar uneducated person (mh), Thursday, 19 March 2020 18:53 (one week ago) link

Coronalympics. All the athletes compete via YouTube.

love will keep us apart (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 23 March 2020 21:40 (one week ago) link

too late, they're already sorta doing that for multiple sports!

https://kotaku.com/entire-spanish-soccer-league-including-barcelona-and-r-1842402310

After the success of a one-off game between Sevilla and Real Betis on the weekend, all 20 sides in Spain’s currently-suspended La Liga—from Barcelona to Atletico Madrid to Valencia—are getting together to play a tournament in FIFA 20.

Karl Malone, Monday, 23 March 2020 21:48 (one week ago) link

unfortunately, your idea has also been declined because it was a good one - apparently people loved it and they're expanding the competition!

Karl Malone, Monday, 23 March 2020 21:49 (one week ago) link

A zombie movie where 80% of the people carrying the zombie virus are asymptomatic

silverfish, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 13:08 (six days ago) link

lol

Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 13:32 (six days ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/Z0bMZJX.jpg

"You hear about Malkmus changing his tune? Says now that you should ALWAYS quarantine the passed."

pplains, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 14:15 (six days ago) link

:D

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 15:14 (six days ago) link

wowee

latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 15:23 (six days ago) link

I'm gonna start a kissing booth

DJP, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 12:56 (five days ago) link

lol, now would be a particularly bad time to revive the lamentable “FREE HUGS” trend of the mid-00s

(Every time I saw someone with one of those signs I would think “I’ve never paid for a hug in my life you twee fuck”)

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 12:58 (five days ago) link

Actually, a sign that says "HUGS: $5" feels right for these times

DJP, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 13:02 (five days ago) link

Fines start at £30 here

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 13:10 (five days ago) link


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