your terrible ideas

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

5. date down

6. date

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

12. Going back to school.

nah, that's a great idea.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

rong

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

A zombie movie where 80% of the people carrying the zombie virus are asymptomatic

lol

https://i.imgur.com/Z0bMZJX.jpg

"You hear about Malkmus changing his tune? Says now that you should ALWAYS quarantine the passed."

:D

wowee

I'm gonna start a kissing booth

lol, now would be a particularly bad time to revive the lamentable “FREE HUGS” trend of the mid-00s

(Every time I saw someone with one of those signs I would think “I’ve never paid for a hug in my life you twee fuck”)

Actually, a sign that says "HUGS: $5" feels right for these times

Fines start at £30 here

a band called Ghost Train where the lead singer is a little kid dressed like papa ermeritus but with Thomas the Tank Engine face paint. They'd perform this song but w/ better guitar/harmony/etc. parts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSARStO46g4

New holiday called Vapril Fools, where everyone carries around kazoos and pretends that they’re vape pens

By “pretend that they’re vape pens” I’m taking about people not the kazoos, which are just for fun and self defense

Not a good time to be putting your mouth on people

That’s where the ”fools” part comes in

A little tiny hourglass measured out to 20 seconds that each patron using the office restroom could flip over before they washed their hands.

Do they flip it with their hands? If so, cool, belongs in this thread.

One that worked with a foot pedal might actually be a good idea

How about everybody has to flip it over after they wash their hands, starting the timer for the next person? That way it helps the sanitation problem, while also introducing a fun new time-constrained coordination exercise to public bathrooms

Would need to think about the penalty for not beating the timer, though.

a service that schedules your meeting on all available video conferencing platforms and then randomly selects one immediately before the meeting. because of this, nobody can express their favor or preference for one of the other platforms during or before the meeting. the opinion is useless. we use Webinar Herzog for meetings at this company, and we've accepted the chaotic nature of the video conferencing wilderness.

How about robotic "cuffs" that extend out and clamp on your wrists, forcing you to vigorously wash your hands for 20 second?

a carwash for your hands, like those spinning brushes that bars have to wash drinking glasses. but you stick your hands in there for 20 seconds. clean, raw hands.

truly horrible, kudos

A(nother) song reminding people to wash their hands, titled 'Wash Your Hands', sung to the tune of David Bowie's 'Watch That Man'.

You've heard about daylight saving time. What about daylight saving space? Every spring, everything gets a little bit bigger. Like a millimeter in every direction (for things at a recognizably human scale).

Then, in the fall, everything shrinks by the same amount. You'll barely notice, because it's everything, and it stays proportional.

Then we can join that concept together with daylight saving time, and thus have a true four-dimensional daylight saving spacetime.

Well I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon look smaller than everything else.

dick pic timestamps under new scrutiny

audiophiles going fucking crazy bc the frequency response of their setups shifts dramatically with the new rc time constant

Need to readjust the cpu clock. All lenses now out of focus.

"I brought my fall glasses by accident"

A German gangsta rapper called Glock'N'Spiel.

A day in the life film where life is narrated to the tune of Playa Hater by Biggie, describing everything that person does in that sing song voice

A twitter account for being mean about art and people in the art world, called Angry Juan Gris.

start a long thread on twitter explaining that epidemiologists are finding out many earlier cases of covid-19 from january or even earlier have been identified outside china and there’s a country still under reporting that was likely the real source of the virus: russia

then get all of the people who are obsessed with claiming everything in the usa is a symptom of russian interference on board with calling it the “russian virus”

write an 800-page intellectual history of rockism in the style of late twentieth century poststructuralist french philosophy

I might read that

a sequel to ‘yesterday’ in which jack shoots to stardom on the wings back catalogue

And then an alternate universe spinoff where he records Shaved Fish and Double Fantasy

A guitar effects pedal - when you push down the switch, the signal from your guitar is cut off and the pedal automatically generates widdly-widdly fills and solos until you release the switch again.

also a Zoom version where you hold down the spacebar and it fills in corporate waffle for you

The Philip K Dolls - a Pussycat Dolls tribute act where each member is styled after a particular PKD novel.

Homes Under The Hammer but instead of grimy two-up two-downs in northern Britain they send Dion Dublin to look at fixer-uppers in Sydney and Melbourne.

Homes Down Under The Hammer

How is that not already a thing?

make MC Hammer the new host

Homes Down Under The Hammer Time

with Cyndi Lauper co-hosting:

Homes Down Under The Hammer Time After Time

Denny's Homes Down Under the Hammer

World’s Most Evil Kittens

If Aretha had lived long enough, I would've liked to propose she sing an updated version of 'Who's Zoomin' Who' to advertise...well, you know.

would that she had

http://cnn.com/2020/07/01/us/hampton-inn-black-family-pool-trnd/index.html?fbclid=IwAR0CUbvh5VLn_mb82ryMJk-DxZuvN9ttz0_nOdDVz6Kpe8ZA9A_RoHEv0og

I kind of want to write a short story about a black family who has the police called on them like this while staying in a hotel, and to try to make up for it, corporate gives them multiple free hotel stays. Only then, in each of the multiple free hotel stays, they again have the police called on them. So they just exponentially grow vacations but continue to get harassed each time.

Sounds like Hilbert's Hotel, but with racism

I could see it as a Jordan Peele film, although it's kind of a flimsy premise for a feature