your terrible ideas

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

5. date down

6. date

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

12. Going back to school.

nah, that's a great idea.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

rong

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

'The Skype Avatar of Dorian Grey'

A crossover of Black Panthers (Varda, 1968) with Black Panther (Coogler, 2018). I'm spending precious mental energy trying to figure the intersection point.

seems like a slam dunk. the superhero movie has flashback scenes in Oakland, right?

A zombie movie where:

a) instead of a zombie infection transmitted by a bite it's brainworms transmitted by a Facebook post, and
b) instead of turning into actual zombies people turn into conspiracy-spewing boomers

I don't actually know if this is terrible or if it's the best idea I've ever had.

trenchant social commentary 2 is thatta way, buddy.

Thank u 4 title. Trenchant, coming soon to a streaming platform near you.

An American Girl-style doll for guitar dads, where the accessories are all scale models of famous guitars, amps, and pedals. Maybe you can't shell out thousands for that 1964 Gibson ES-335, but you can get little Ricky one for only $100!

https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/1194/8644/products/il_fullxfull.587146811_qedt_1024x1024.jpeg

a buttplug that shines a holographic black bar in front of your genitalia and bare butt so that if you're changing in public or anything, nobody can see anything.

also so that ify ou're in a strip club, you can charge someone more money to remove the black bars.

tinted contact lenses that can see through holograms, for the pervert market

Party Pockets, a king-sized Hot Pocket big enough for you and all your friends to gnaw and slobber on but too big for most conventional microwaves.

omg

like a p'zone or piadina but p'bigger

Have a soccer tournament for the worst squads in the world and call it Urine 2021

A Beatles cover band called Scrambled Eggs, all food parodies of Beatles songs

I Wanna Bake Your Flan

Don't start this.

haha, sorry - I did not intend to solicit examples. i solemnly swear it's a terrible idea that's been floating in my head for years

lol I think the pizza invasion of the Excelsior thread has everybody jumpy

if I ever bring it to life we'll for sure get Ziggy Cornmeal and the Slices from Mars to open

You gotta reach these heights or just give it up

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I7v_O5ics-s

a business like those places where you can get a photo printed on a cake but you can get the photo on other foods such as giant hot pockets

Lol hueg photo of Shaquille O'Neal on a hot Pocket

Boss Hogg printed on a plateful of mashed potatoes

A line of luxury, members-only portajohns dotting the landscape of most major cities and catering to those discriminating sorts who absolutely must eliminate their waste amidst unparalleled elegance.

The name, of course, is Potty Haughty.

A Milli Vanilli tribute band that performs the songs in the style of Willie Nelson, called Willy Nilly.

lol

Small porous terracotta figurines of historical Islamic leaders (Imams, Caliphs, etc.). You can spread seeds on them, which then grow as hair on the statue.

Shia pets.

nelly's nelson cover album would be

willie via nelly

Brickgun: an FPS game where the player is armed with a gun that fires bricks, so they can build chest high walls to duck behind while their health regenerates.

― You are swimming in spaghetti. Without a paddle. (snoball), Sunday, 11 January 2015 13:41 (six years ago)

Gun resembling Lego toy sparks backlash in US

"It is illegal in the US to produce a children's toy that precisely resembles a real gun, but the laws do not explicitly prevent manufacturers from making a gun that resembles a toy."

kind of amazing this horrible niche market has not been explored previously. sigh....

what about a gun that looks like a pack of cigarettes with daffy duck on the front of it and a maze on the back

or whoever kids like these days instead of daffy duck. steve from minecraft

https://bestclassicbands.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/Dan-Aykroyd-Bag-O-Glass-1.jpg

was randomly thinking about the Olympics while half asleep in the shower and was imagining a sport that combines skateboarding and archery. It would be a team sport with two teams of skateboarding archers going against each other. The idea needs some work but I think there's an interesting spectator sport in there.

an x-games biathlon of sorts

A production of the musical Chicago starring Bryan Ferry and Brian Eno

And it shall be called Roxie Music

a toilet that composes original music every time pee or poo hits the water.

sound stops when the stream/plop stops.

sheet music immediately printed out after

could be the right place for a 'simon says' or crossroads situation

ToothPicks -- fingerpick-style guitar picks made for playing with your teeth.

An online game that asks you to identify regional UK accents, for transplants like myself.

You guys might want to cash your chips now on your musical toilet ideas because technology is catching up with you.

https://cdn.prezzybox.com/Images/22804.gif

wasn't there a potty training thing that played tunes? forgive me for not googling that.

Tinkle tinkle, little star
How good at peeing you are!

/   x    /  x  /   x   /
How good at peeing you are

awful

one octave keyboard mat, fuck that. i need a full 88 to jam while i mudpie

A t-shirt company that designs and sells shirts for bands that don't actually exist. Some have tour dates on the back at non-existent venues (in real cities). Done in a deadpan manner, no overt satire of anything.

This might actually be a good idea, not sure.

only worth it if paired with a trolly experiment at a metal show where dude walks by and waits for people to brag that they saw that band on their first tour or own their first demo and then expose them as posers on camera.

the show could be called

Poser Exposer

fake band shirts exists

Getting the guy at work who looks like a young Genesis P. Orridge to put on a camoflage jacket and front a Throbbing Gristle tribute band.