your terrible ideas

Message Bookmarked
Bookmark Removed

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (ten years ago) link

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (ten years ago) link

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (ten years ago) link

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (ten years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (ten years ago) link

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (ten years ago) link

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (ten years ago) link

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (ten years ago) link

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (ten years ago) link

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (ten years ago) link

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (ten years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (ten years ago) link

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (ten years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (ten years ago) link

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (ten years ago) link

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (ten years ago) link

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (ten years ago) link

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (ten years ago) link

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (ten years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (ten years ago) link

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (ten years ago) link

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (ten years ago) link

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (ten years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (ten years ago) link

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (ten years ago) link

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (ten years ago) link

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (ten years ago) link

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (ten years ago) link

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (ten years ago) link

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (ten years ago) link

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (ten years ago) link

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (ten years ago) link

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (ten years ago) link

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (ten years ago) link

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (ten years ago) link

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (ten years ago) link

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (ten years ago) link

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (ten years ago) link

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:41 (ten years ago) link

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (ten years ago) link

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (ten years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (ten years ago) link

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (ten years ago) link

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (ten years ago) link

Writing a letter to the local nursery called Lilliput to say that from the point of view of the children it should be called Brobdingnag.

The Pingularity (ledge), Sunday, 22 September 2019 10:48 (two months ago) link

:D :D :D :D

Fox Pithole Britain (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 September 2019 11:07 (two months ago) link

A cover version of Manfred Mann's 'Pretty Flamingo' except it's re-titled 'Placido Domingo'.

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 28 September 2019 18:41 (two months ago) link

An instrument that's a cross between a flute and a trombone, and basically looks like a brass bicycle pump.

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 28 September 2019 18:42 (two months ago) link

A service that custom-"trombonizes" any musical instrument, installing sliding hardware so that you can telescope it to and fro to change its pitch.

mick signals, Saturday, 28 September 2019 19:41 (two months ago) link

The Tromboner®

davey, Saturday, 28 September 2019 20:16 (two months ago) link

How about a guitar with elastic strings and a telescoping neck?

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 28 September 2019 20:34 (two months ago) link

Wow. They've even got a bass one.

pplains, Saturday, 28 September 2019 22:47 (two months ago) link

Superbone

The Superbone is a hybrid trombone. It has the slide mechanism of a standard trombone and the valve mechanism of a valve trombone.

I should open a shop that sells these, and call it The Superbone Zone.

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 28 September 2019 22:58 (two months ago) link

olol

take me to The Superbone Zone

davey, Sunday, 29 September 2019 02:08 (two months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/AHtBLp8.gif

pplains, Sunday, 29 September 2019 02:26 (two months ago) link

over the superbone zone, the booblight hovers

Sally Jessy (Karl Malone), Sunday, 29 September 2019 04:31 (two months ago) link

a different version of golf called "garf." the rules of garf are exactly the same as those of golf, but a much stricter dress code is enforced in all club houses and courses. absolutely no casual wear shall be permitted. the garf itself is playacted in a public park or other open space.

Tart Prepper (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 30 September 2019 02:54 (two months ago) link

Jazz Garf in the Park

Sally Jessy (Karl Malone), Monday, 30 September 2019 03:44 (two months ago) link

I really need a more thorough explanation of garf

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Monday, 30 September 2019 16:34 (two months ago) link

the world according to

all over bar the shouting (im here for the shouting) (darraghmac), Monday, 30 September 2019 16:37 (two months ago) link

look, i could try to sell you on garf in this thread all day. but i think it's best we just put on kilts, don our paddy caps, lace up our cleats, grab a club (fallen tree branch), and get garfing. once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked. I shot a miserable 98 this weekend and missed my son's birthday while doing so. the damn garf ball was attracted to hazards (innocent people in the park). but i'd be out there again today if not for this damned desk job (i'd rather be garfing).

Tart Prepper (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:01 (two months ago) link

once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked

which you can get lessons to fix

all over bar the shouting (im here for the shouting) (darraghmac), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:08 (two months ago) link

oh my, i beg your permission to use that one this weekend with the beverage cart driver (a Canada goose)

Tart Prepper (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:14 (two months ago) link

xp it actually requires surgery to fix

It is my great honor to post on this messageboard! (Karl Malone), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:19 (two months ago) link

idgi this sounds basically like miniature garf only bigger?

The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:47 (two months ago) link

sounds to me like frisbee garf but with a ball

Instant Carmax (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:48 (two months ago) link

"Dressed...for the nines."

weatheringdaleson, Monday, 30 September 2019 17:55 (two months ago) link

Start a rap career using the stage name Young MD. Wear scrubs and rap only about medical issues. Eventually form a rap supergroup with Young MA, Young MB*, and Young MC.

*Spotify bio: "Young MB started his career in rap primarily in the year 2017, mainly French rap. Before he saw rap as something that happened with friends soon enough, he found out that it was special and he wanted to share that with the world."

Also in the course of formulating this terrible idea I discovered that there is a rapper out there calling himself Young BM, which is a Terrible Idea.

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 07:23 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

A podcast on Web Assembly, called WASMgasm.

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 3 November 2019 20:12 (one month ago) link

a remake of the TV series Gladiators, but everyone involved has to participate while wearing four inch high heels

boxedjoy, Monday, 4 November 2019 09:13 (one month ago) link

An 18-track, 180 minute triple live drone album, where each track is a nearly identical 10-minute drone, except that as the drone fades in on the seventh track, there is a brief eruption of "Woooo!" and clapping, from the audience.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 7 November 2019 15:05 (one month ago) link

Thinking about gold foil on cakes: a dessert for rich folks that contains more in currency than you pay for the dessert. It will be considered to gauche to take any of the money.

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 19:42 (four weeks ago) link

https://www.businessinsider.com/2009/1/rich-people-still-eating-gold

The Emirates Palace hotel in Abu Dhabi reportedly served 11 pounds of edible gold to its guests in 2008, which could have cost as much as $500,000.

But they're not the only ones with a gilded tooth.

WSJ's Wealth Report blog: [T]he Russians are especially avid consumers of gold, and like to eat it with their caviar and oysters.

Plenty of U.S. restaurants serve up gold to those who like to wear their bling on the inside. A New York chef came up with a $1,000 bagel featuring white truffle cream cheese and goji berry-infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves. An L.A. candy maker sells treats called Holiday Nougat, made with flakes of 23-karat edible gold leaf.

Stephen Bruce, owner of New York ice cream parlor Serendipity3 famously came up with the $25,000 Frozen Haute Chocolate sundae, covered in 23K edible gold-infused whipped cream.

Peaceful Warrior I Poser (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 20:00 (four weeks ago) link

I’m thinking a cake served on a bed of £50 notes.

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 20:04 (four weeks ago) link

Jokes on them, it only costs me a couple of bucks to munch on a shaker-full of metallic jimmies. Or hell, just walk around with a mouthful of pennies if I want a quick fix of that scrumptious metal flavor that human taste buds are primed to enjoy.

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 20:07 (four weeks ago) link

An a cappella group that performs only glitch tracks adapted for the human voice. The glitchier and more abstract the better.

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Thursday, 14 November 2019 13:55 (three weeks ago) link

(Countdown to someone telling me that The Autechrephonics have been a top draw at Michigan State for the past half decade.)

Yul, Tied: A Celebration of Brynner in Bondage (Old Lunch), Thursday, 14 November 2019 13:58 (three weeks ago) link

I'm only aware of two vocal covers of autechre tracks and they're both compiled from samples rather than sung live, so afaik you're good.

The Pingularity (ledge), Thursday, 14 November 2019 14:07 (three weeks ago) link

nicotine pez

mh, Thursday, 14 November 2019 16:14 (three weeks ago) link

The Emirates Palace hotel in Abu Dhabi reportedly served 11 pounds of edible gold to its guests in 2008, which could have cost as much as $500,000.

feel like a motivated plumber with a terrible idea could make some bank here

actor Robert de Niro disguised as an Uzbek homeopath (bizarro gazzara), Thursday, 14 November 2019 16:21 (three weeks ago) link

impossible gazelle. a meatless full sized gazelle you eat directly with your face.

$1,000,000 or 1 bag of honeycrisp apples (Sufjan Grafton), Saturday, 23 November 2019 03:52 (two weeks ago) link

Does it matter which part of my face

War Crimes Tribunal of the Network Stars (Old Lunch), Saturday, 23 November 2019 04:49 (two weeks ago) link

Beyond Face. a meatless face made primarily of pea-protein

Suggest Banshee (Hadrian VIII), Saturday, 23 November 2019 05:05 (two weeks ago) link

Creating an @ILX0R twitter account and posting the password for it on here, so everyone can use it.

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 21:29 (one week ago) link

better than posting the password would be building an integration into the forum software that'd let us all post to it, with like an extra box under the comment box

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 21:51 (one week ago) link

Even better would be an amendment to the forum software that automatically tweets every non-77 post, because anyone anywhere on the internet can see it on ILX anyway, right? Right???

just another country (snoball), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 22:02 (one week ago) link

lol didn't lag∞n make a blog that was populated by people posting to a thread at one point? we could do that, but twitter

mh, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 22:46 (one week ago) link

he did it was cool

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Tuesday, 3 December 2019 22:46 (one week ago) link

He did and it was a work of art.

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 22:49 (one week ago) link

I remember being rude and breaking it. What was I thinking?

mh, Tuesday, 3 December 2019 22:56 (one week ago) link

https://twitter.com/ilxor_txt

pplains, Wednesday, 4 December 2019 01:42 (one week ago) link

everyone should be able to read everyone else's email at work

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Wednesday, 11 December 2019 00:15 (five hours ago) link


You must be logged in to post. Please either login here, or if you are not registered, you may register here.