your terrible ideas

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

5. date down

6. date

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

12. Going back to school.

nah, that's a great idea.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

rong

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

Writing a letter to the local nursery called Lilliput to say that from the point of view of the children it should be called Brobdingnag.

:D :D :D :D

A cover version of Manfred Mann's 'Pretty Flamingo' except it's re-titled 'Placido Domingo'.

An instrument that's a cross between a flute and a trombone, and basically looks like a brass bicycle pump.

A service that custom-"trombonizes" any musical instrument, installing sliding hardware so that you can telescope it to and fro to change its pitch.

The Tromboner®

How about a guitar with elastic strings and a telescoping neck?

http://www.steinberger.com/Synapse-Transcale-Integrated-Capo.html

Wow. They've even got a bass one.

Superbone

The Superbone is a hybrid trombone. It has the slide mechanism of a standard trombone and the valve mechanism of a valve trombone.

I should open a shop that sells these, and call it The Superbone Zone.

olol

take me to The Superbone Zone

https://i.imgur.com/AHtBLp8.gif

over the superbone zone, the booblight hovers

a different version of golf called "garf." the rules of garf are exactly the same as those of golf, but a much stricter dress code is enforced in all club houses and courses. absolutely no casual wear shall be permitted. the garf itself is playacted in a public park or other open space.

Jazz Garf in the Park

I really need a more thorough explanation of garf

the world according to

look, i could try to sell you on garf in this thread all day. but i think it's best we just put on kilts, don our paddy caps, lace up our cleats, grab a club (fallen tree branch), and get garfing. once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked. I shot a miserable 98 this weekend and missed my son's birthday while doing so. the damn garf ball was attracted to hazards (innocent people in the park). but i'd be out there again today if not for this damned desk job (i'd rather be garfing).

once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked

which you can get lessons to fix

oh my, i beg your permission to use that one this weekend with the beverage cart driver (a Canada goose)

xp it actually requires surgery to fix

idgi this sounds basically like miniature garf only bigger?

sounds to me like frisbee garf but with a ball

"Dressed...for the nines."

https://i.ibb.co/qrx4PNF/60-BA7-C78-36-FC-47-FA-9-C19-CF1-F68-AF10-C8.jpg

Start a rap career using the stage name Young MD. Wear scrubs and rap only about medical issues. Eventually form a rap supergroup with Young MA, Young MB*, and Young MC.

*Spotify bio: "Young MB started his career in rap primarily in the year 2017, mainly French rap. Before he saw rap as something that happened with friends soon enough, he found out that it was special and he wanted to share that with the world."

Also in the course of formulating this terrible idea I discovered that there is a rapper out there calling himself Young BM, which is a Terrible Idea.

A podcast on Web Assembly, called WASMgasm.

a remake of the TV series Gladiators, but everyone involved has to participate while wearing four inch high heels

An 18-track, 180 minute triple live drone album, where each track is a nearly identical 10-minute drone, except that as the drone fades in on the seventh track, there is a brief eruption of "Woooo!" and clapping, from the audience.

Thinking about gold foil on cakes: a dessert for rich folks that contains more in currency than you pay for the dessert. It will be considered to gauche to take any of the money.

https://www.businessinsider.com/2009/1/rich-people-still-eating-gold

The Emirates Palace hotel in Abu Dhabi reportedly served 11 pounds of edible gold to its guests in 2008, which could have cost as much as $500,000.

But they're not the only ones with a gilded tooth.

WSJ's Wealth Report blog: [T]he Russians are especially avid consumers of gold, and like to eat it with their caviar and oysters.

Plenty of U.S. restaurants serve up gold to those who like to wear their bling on the inside. A New York chef came up with a $1,000 bagel featuring white truffle cream cheese and goji berry-infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves. An L.A. candy maker sells treats called Holiday Nougat, made with flakes of 23-karat edible gold leaf.

Stephen Bruce, owner of New York ice cream parlor Serendipity3 famously came up with the $25,000 Frozen Haute Chocolate sundae, covered in 23K edible gold-infused whipped cream.

I’m thinking a cake served on a bed of £50 notes.

Jokes on them, it only costs me a couple of bucks to munch on a shaker-full of metallic jimmies. Or hell, just walk around with a mouthful of pennies if I want a quick fix of that scrumptious metal flavor that human taste buds are primed to enjoy.

An a cappella group that performs only glitch tracks adapted for the human voice. The glitchier and more abstract the better.

(Countdown to someone telling me that The Autechrephonics have been a top draw at Michigan State for the past half decade.)

I'm only aware of two vocal covers of autechre tracks and they're both compiled from samples rather than sung live, so afaik you're good.

nicotine pez

The Emirates Palace hotel in Abu Dhabi reportedly served 11 pounds of edible gold to its guests in 2008, which could have cost as much as $500,000.

feel like a motivated plumber with a terrible idea could make some bank here

impossible gazelle. a meatless full sized gazelle you eat directly with your face.

Does it matter which part of my face

Beyond Face. a meatless face made primarily of pea-protein

Creating an @ILX0R twitter account and posting the password for it on here, so everyone can use it.

better than posting the password would be building an integration into the forum software that'd let us all post to it, with like an extra box under the comment box

Even better would be an amendment to the forum software that automatically tweets every non-77 post, because anyone anywhere on the internet can see it on ILX anyway, right? Right???

lol didn't lag∞n make a blog that was populated by people posting to a thread at one point? we could do that, but twitter

he did it was cool

He did and it was a work of art.

I remember being rude and breaking it. What was I thinking?

https://twitter.com/ilxor_txt

everyone should be able to read everyone else's email at work