your terrible ideas

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

5. date down

6. date

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

12. Going back to school.

nah, that's a great idea.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

rong

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

this thread is for terrible ideas

the first two are gold

I’ve sat on this for over a year. I haven’t posted it because it would only work in an emotionless world but here goes:

One of my terrible ideas is for non-traditional marriages to be called marrieges. The federal law would allow marrieges to behave exactly like marriages in every code/law of the land; the only difference (besides the spelling) is that marrieges wouldn’t claim any association with christianity, only a civil union and all that that entails.

It’s a dumb idea in that it caters to anti-gay-marriage Christians and would likely cause many gay people to feel separate but not equal and left out of Christianity. At the same time there is nothing actually stopping gay people from being Christians.... and if there ended up being no unintentional consequences from my terrible merriege idea, it could effectively shut up anti-gay-marriage Christians while providing a tongue-in-cheek way of letting gay people get married without having to hear anti-gay-marriage stuff in the news anymore (eventually).

I’m sure there are many more reasons why this is a terrible idea and I cringe thinking about the kind of feedback I’d get if I were to suggest this is anything but a terrible idea.

it's just a piece of peper

Patar Pipar pickad a pack of picklad pappar

A John Foxx era Ultravox tribute band that only play toy keyboards, called Yama!-Ha!-Ha!-Ha!

Retro futuristic storage units for less than £20 a month: Space £19.99

Ok I had this idea earlier for twitter but it belongs here

Concept: eating popcorn at the movies but instead of popcorn it’s a bucket of room temperature tortellini

— Evan (@silby) May 21, 2019

I assume you're talking about just scooping it out by the handful. I don't know if it's a worse idea with or without sauce. Hmm.

this thread is for terrible ideas, what is this glittering gem of an idea doing here

Honestly, I was just trying to be supportive of the effort. Sorry, silby, but you've failed this thread.

http://www.joeydevilla.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/04/ben-padgett.jpg

gypsum caves. salt caves are old news. book some time in one of our many gypsum caves and reap all of the health benefits of gypsum. each gypsum cave is an empty room with drywall.

you've been high but you've never been eating pasta with your hands outside of olive garden high

trisha does not explicitly state that you shouldn't dump garth's tortellini breakfast bowl into your purse and take it to the movies

A supergroup consisting of Jeff Beck; Beck Hansen; and Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson. Called, of course, Jeff Beck Hanson.

A political party called Leave Brexit.
Aims clear from the name. Any further elaboration would be flowery waffle for latte-sippers.

The ‘Love Trumps Hate’ sign is similarly ambiguous

Har Mar Superstar tribute act featuring a grandmother from Texas, called Yee Har Grand-mar.

'bus radio' - basically the bus equivalent of in-store radio stations in supermarkets. The between-song banter could be relevant to travelling by bus, and there could even be shout-outs and dedications ("this next record is dedicated to the guy at the front with the skateboard - several other people on board think you're an obnoxious loud-mouthed tool").

is it broadcast by someone at the back of each particular bus?

an a.i. jeff ross is dj of each bus

Agile Ed Debevics. basically you hire our scrum masters to take over your Agile office. they are really mean to you in meetings, but they do coordinated dances between the cubes. plus milkshakes.

An LP of George Gershwin songs done in a breakcore/bassline style, called "Fascinating Riddim"

Convincing Force MDs to license their biggest hit for use in commercials for a popular dating app.

To cash in on Lion King hype, open a SoCal restaurant specializing in an Italian egg-based dish: Laguna Frittata.

https://www.opendining.net/menu/4f6fe948428cee8d050ffa93

Crank: The Musical

Cigarette smoke scented vape liquid.

I wish! Candy scented vape makes me miss cigarette smoke

There's someone on the bus to work who vapes, and they smoke up (puff up?) almost immediately after stepping off the bus, frequently resulting in me walking through a cloud of apple pie (including pastry scent) smoke. On the other hand, whenever I walk behind someone smoking an actual cigarette - despite never having smoked myself - I get nostalgic. Which seems weird - nostalgic for the days when everywhere that wasn't a workplace smelt of cigarette smoke?

A Beach Boys tribute band, but all their songs are about LARPing instead of surfing, which is achieved mainly by replacing every instance of "surf" in the lyrics with "LARP".

From the early morning to the middle of the night
Any time the LARP is up the time is right
And when the LARP is down to take its place
We'll do the LARPer's stomp, it's the latest dance craze

The limitations of this project in no way diminish my feverish enthusiasm.

https://youtu.be/G5e4UXm0jNY

Terrible late afternoon BBC1 quiz show ideas:

• Will It Rain Or Not? Contestants are shown a photograph of some sky, and they score points by correctly guessing whether or not it was about to rain.
• What Brand Of Laptop Is My Co-Host Using? Contestants score points by correctly guessing the brand of laptop that the show's co-host is using. The brand logo on the back is hidden underneath a label, so after the contestants have finished guessing, there's a nerve shredingly tense and overly drawn out bit where the co-host slowly peels off the label to reveal the logo.
• Quiz Show Banter Quiz Show. A quiz show where the contestants score points by watching a clip from a previous show, and then correctly guessing what bit of host banter came next.
• QuizzyBantz. An 'edgy' version of Quiz Show Banter Quiz Show, aimed at Millennials but patronisingly assuming that all Millenials are still 20 years old. Shown on the BBC Three YouTube channel.

haha
#2 hosted by Jo Brand and Russell Brand. With music from 90s band Laptop

Cigarette smoke scented vape liquid.

OK so a new vape shop opened in town - they also repair mobile phones, I guess to catch some of the business from the phone repair shop that also sells vape liquids - and they had an advertisement outside on their A frame for nicotine-free vape liquid. Which seems like a terrible and pointless idea. Unless there's some 420blazeit purpose for such a product that I don't know about?

In Australia nicotine containing vape liquid is illegal and yet the vape shop down the street still seems to do enough business to stay open.

Southern US version:

• Did It Rain Or Not? Contestants are shown a photograph of their yard, and they score points by correctly guessing whether or not it rained last night.

Been workshopping some Bugs Bunny reactions lately. Latest one came to me in a dream.

Bugs is a rich paranoid smug SOB living in a penthouse. He's in his bedroom, watching his closed-circuit TVs. Most of the screens are just his family watching TV, maintenance guy taking out the garbage, etc. But on one of the screens, he sees a new maid. She's very beautiful!

Bugs has been wearing a half-lidded, mouth hung open expression this whole time as we've gone back and forth to the CCTV. But when he sees his new employee, his eyes spring wide open! Then, his pupils, roll back into the top of his head and come up from the inside of his ears. His ears fold halfway at a 90º angle, toward the CCTV. His pupils, synchronized, hop to the fulcrum of his ears and then zipline down the length of his ears to the tips, not just toward the CCTV screen, but also straight toward the viewer behind the fourth wall.

As the pupils fill the screen, the viewer sees that the pupils have pupils themselves, which have now turned into red throbbing hearts.

Here was what was waiting for me on my Samsung Notes this morning (transcribed by voice):

Bugs Bunny watching circuit closed circuit television his pupils leave his eyeballs go up inside of skiers and skiers turn towards the television at a 45 degree angle and when his pupils come out of his ears go up to the fulcrum of them they zip line down to the tips of his ears closer to the camera and POV closer to the viewer so you got a better look at the closed-circuit television

Oh, I like that one.

Spin-off: is this your nearest gas station? People are shown a photo of a gas station. They must try to figure out if it is a photo of their nearest gas station.

Did It Rain Or Not? Contestants are shown a photograph of their yard, and they score points by correctly guessing whether or not it rained last night.
― pplains, Wednesday, August 7, 2019 6:28 AM (one hour ago

i feel like i grew up watching this show? Except the contestants were my parents ....

plains do your kids know this about you yet

The yard thing or the Bugs Bunny thing?

Because no.

<3

lmao the fucking bugs bunny thing, i like that you spend your time thinking such thoughts plains

thanks, boobie.

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