your terrible ideas

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1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (nine years ago) Permalink

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (nine years ago) Permalink

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

i yelled "BIG HOOS" but i was yelling at my steen (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (nine years ago) Permalink

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (nine years ago) Permalink

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

The Purge: Black Friday

naus, Friday, 23 November 2018 23:55 (five months ago) Permalink

“Home Alone” but with a fantasy theme and the lead character is a dwarf.

“This is our treasure hold. I will defend it with my life.”

Cue all the awesome prebuilt dwarf traps and rated R brutality.

He said captain, I said wot (FlopsyDuck), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 13:15 (four months ago) Permalink

This is a thread for terrible ideas

I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 14:50 (four months ago) Permalink

posting

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:17 (four months ago) Permalink

otm

the late great, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:22 (four months ago) Permalink

i mean me posting, not you

the late great, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:23 (four months ago) Permalink

McDonald's should sell empty happy meal boxes, nugget boxes, etc. To parents of young picky eaters.

So you could make, like, healthy home-cooked food and put the food into the McD's packaging, and then the kids would eat it.

Brian Oenophile (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:23 (four months ago) Permalink

would also tell you how dumb your kid is

Death comes sweeping through the hallway. Thank you, Death. (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 23:01 (four months ago) Permalink

i mean me posting, not you

― the late great, Wednesday, November 28, 2018 10:23 PM (thirty-eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

any of us tbh

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 23:02 (four months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

A rapper whose lyrics are all based on trite and obvious allegories, called 2.U.C.

I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Wednesday, 19 December 2018 23:46 (four months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

a trumpy musical fundraiser track called We Are the Wall

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 9 January 2019 06:31 (three months ago) Permalink

All in all we're just a

Twas in the fleek midwinter (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 9 January 2019 09:32 (three months ago) Permalink

kind of lol but mostly sad but also actually mostly lol tbh

Hootie and the Banshees (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 9 January 2019 11:25 (three months ago) Permalink

there are people dying
and it's time to make sure more of them die

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 9 January 2019 16:43 (three months ago) Permalink

we are the wall
lock up the children
etc.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 9 January 2019 16:43 (three months ago) Permalink

Do they know it's time to build the wall

Love is Scarface (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 9 January 2019 16:51 (three months ago) Permalink

roger waters already wrote it

mh, Wednesday, 9 January 2019 16:54 (three months ago) Permalink

Build the waaaall

Let them know it's deport time

Twas in the fleek midwinter (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 9 January 2019 17:49 (three months ago) Permalink

A movie that’s Idiocracy meets The Matrix

It’s called “The Dumb Matrix”

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Saturday, 12 January 2019 03:02 (three months ago) Permalink

A movie about the spreadsheets used in the Trump Organization to track money-laundering activities

The Donny Matrix

I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Saturday, 12 January 2019 04:26 (three months ago) Permalink

three weeks pass...

Fast & Furious: Calvin & Hobbes

just another country (snoball), Tuesday, 5 February 2019 09:08 (two months ago) Permalink

A spin off from the Mission Impossible TV series, about all the people Jim Phelps never picks. They could just be sitting in a bar complaining about Rollin Hand, etc..

just another country (snoball), Friday, 8 February 2019 16:52 (two months ago) Permalink

iCarny

Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 12 February 2019 04:06 (two months ago) Permalink

Fuck 'Em Suck 'Em Robots

Shaved Cyborg (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 13 February 2019 15:00 (two months ago) Permalink

last night a friend was telling me about Zoom video conferencing and how well it works - it automatically shifts the camera to whoever is currently speaking, which i think is pretty standard with video conferencing (i don't do it much these days), but apparently it works better than most.

anyway, it got me thinking about a Zoom mod where the meeting starts with each participant occupying equal space on the screen. as the meeting goes on, the size of each participant on the screen changes according to how long they've during the meeting. so if one person talks a lot, like 75% of the time, their face would occupy 75% of the screen. and if someone never gets a chance to talk, their section would reflect that - they'd be a tiny pixel on the corner of the screen. each participant's box would change in real-time, second by second. this is different, but kind of like how space is allocated in these kinds of charts:

https://i.imgur.com/iHuRUhh.png

then, at the end of the meeting, a screenshot of the final frame of the video would be saved as a memento - who dominated the meeting, who barely got to talk. this image could be used as the background of the meeting minutes for a quick visual reminder of how the meeting went. sort of like this, but pretend the allocations of each face end up filling up the full 100% of the screen like the image above:

https://i.imgur.com/Qb9Zry3.jpg

Karl Malone, Saturday, 16 February 2019 20:42 (two months ago) Permalink

sorry about all those typos, but i'm in an irl rush

Karl Malone, Saturday, 16 February 2019 20:43 (two months ago) Permalink

on a different note, in michigan i think the two landmasses should be referred to as the "upper peninsula" and "the continent"

Karl Malone, Saturday, 16 February 2019 21:22 (two months ago) Permalink

That is actually an awesome idea, will support ur kickstarter

mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Saturday, 16 February 2019 23:18 (two months ago) Permalink

I like where you're going with a fool that shows who talked the most. But I fear they will take that as meaning that they contributed the most, which is usually the wrong takeaway.

Can you set it so that the loudest, most domineering people have their volume progressively reduced? Or put their voice through a wacky filter that makes them sound like Tweety Bird?

Gunther Gleiben (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 17 February 2019 00:14 (two months ago) Permalink

Ha, imagine the time-lapse version shown at the end, just an oblivious guy's face getting bigger while his mouth keeps opening and closing.

pplains, Sunday, 17 February 2019 00:24 (two months ago) Permalink

Great idea. But my approach in 100% of these meetings is to speak as little as possible while also making sure I have spoken enough to be remembered as having spoken. Just creating the illusion of contribution. And this would mess with that. But I guess I could learn to exploit the way that any noise - paper torn, pen clicked, knee slapped - results in momentary focus, and effect stealth domination.

Eyeball Kicks, Sunday, 17 February 2019 01:04 (two months ago) Permalink

I'm dying

frame casual (dog latin), Monday, 18 February 2019 23:57 (two months ago) Permalink

I'm actually dead. I wonder if Karl's idea could be adapted to real life meetings. like, you could hire someone to work a foot pump

frame casual (dog latin), Monday, 18 February 2019 23:59 (two months ago) Permalink

another version might be to give everyone identical screen space but to adjust the zoom based on speaking time. the dominant speaker might just be a close-up of a mouth or eyeball, while the quiet people would get zoomed out so far that they'd just be a vaguely human shape behind a desk in the background of the office

Karl Malone, Tuesday, 19 February 2019 00:06 (two months ago) Permalink

my current twitter profile is a plant, and i just made a joke involving fruit on a tree, and it got me thinking that from now on maybe i should only talk about things as if i were a talking plant

Karl Malone, Saturday, 23 February 2019 00:35 (two months ago) Permalink

self-suck dump truck

moose; squirrel (silby), Friday, 1 March 2019 01:37 (one month ago) Permalink

A third party database of youtube video ids and titles, for all those (future) threads full of unlabelled broken embeds when the original vids have disappeared.

what if bod was one of us (ledge), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:06 (one month ago) Permalink

that's a terrible idea because youtube links will always be there! google is so big and important that surely someone will make sure that all the references to billions of videos made during the early years of the 21st century remain intact!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BfdkQGQ5xpA

but i'm there are fuckups (Karl Malone), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:09 (one month ago) Permalink

ikr, imagine the loss to history if the thread of manic strumming ends up full of broken embeds.

what if bod was one of us (ledge), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:12 (one month ago) Permalink

that would be like if i posted hundreds of awful gifs to a single thread using a photobucket account, and then photobucket got taken over by ancient aliens so i deleted everything in a panic, leaving the original thread in a somehow even uglier state than before

but i'm there are fuckups (Karl Malone), Sunday, 10 March 2019 16:16 (one month ago) Permalink

A remake of Edward Scissorhands called Edward Tablethands, where the titular character has a pair of cheap Android tablets instead of hands.

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 23 March 2019 14:21 (one month ago) Permalink

A Streetheart/Honeymoon Suite cover band called Suiteheart

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Saturday, 23 March 2019 23:53 (one month ago) Permalink

Does anyone have Randy Newman's email address? I'd like to pitch him my idea for Newman Sings Newman, an album of tunes sung from the perspective of Wayne Knight's irascible Seinfeld character.

The First Time Ever I Fly @ U Face (Old Lunch), Monday, 25 March 2019 16:31 (one month ago) Permalink

Gotta wait until I get the bad guy from The Fifth Element to offer his version.

pplains, Monday, 25 March 2019 16:42 (one month ago) Permalink

(Gary) Oldman shouts at clouds

kinder, Monday, 25 March 2019 18:20 (one month ago) Permalink

four weeks pass...

To make a book after the fashion of Cory Arcangel’s Working On My Novel (and numerous ilafl compendia) called The Tweet, Now Deleted,

milkshake chuk (wins), Wednesday, 24 April 2019 15:49 (yesterday) Permalink

https://www.instructables.com/files/deriv/F8C/A9FY/H994TN1Z/F8CA9FYH994TN1Z.MEDIUM.jpg
I was gonna post here about making a ski free game where you get to be the yeti but a quick google search decimated that idea. *sigh* Their game doesn't even look like ski free.

ilm jive mind (FlopsyDuck), Thursday, 25 April 2019 01:38 (nine hours ago) Permalink

might as well rewrite moby-dick from the perspective of the whale

difficult listening hour, Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:39 (eight hours ago) Permalink

moby-dick was due for a reboot

these are not all of the possible side effects (Karl Malone), Thursday, 25 April 2019 02:46 (eight hours ago) Permalink


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