your terrible ideas

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

5. date down

6. date

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

12. Going back to school.

nah, that's a great idea.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

rong

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

I just remembered that Tesco already sell these:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bsqdb5SIUAAdsOl.png
...also available in Smoky Bacon and Turkey & Stuffing flavours.

BRB phoning Tesco head office...
https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-PQtVGomeYn4/VYm3ZtohIrI/AAAAAAAAC1Y/2t-8y09Xx9U/s640/blogger-image--2024474193.jpg

dear lord
pretty sure I had a curry ish version of this in Tokyo once. Not what I was expecting.

every time you post, you get a pop-up that asks if you want to be entered into a random sweepstakes. you can say "no", but if you say yes, you're entered into a monthly contest, and the main prize is that you gain the ability to create a new secret board. There are also 'whammy' gifts like having your nickname changed to Becky Lucas for a month, having all of your posts converted to WingDings, have a chemical truck ran through your house....

A sitcom set in an abattoir. The workers go through typical sitcom storylines while industrial massacre takes place around them.

A mandatory set of glove-like grips on all steering wheels into which you must slip the fingers of at least one hand while driving on an interstate. An attendant monitoring system allows you to tap your brake a total of...let's say three times before the precision blades inside the steering wheel engage and the fingers start coming off. Perhaps the grips can be modified to respond to a variety of dickhole automotive moves but this is all they're programmed for atm.

(NB: I only think this idea is terrible because of the mutilation involved. And even so I don't actually think it's all that terrible.)

xxxp I can confirm that Kanazawa is the home of the curry doughnut. I lacked the courage alas.

Litterbox’d, a site where users only review the movie version of Cats

Elaborately planned public divorce paper service videos.

(Ie in the style of proposal videos)

divorce reveal parties. everyone gathers around a cake to see if you are getting a divorce or not.

So dinner parties then

yes, but with cake color correlation

or maybe there's just raw hamburger meat inside if the thing is happening

no, the cake is always filled with beef. you modulate the fat content of the beef to indicate divorce. 90/10 means "the beef is lean in this marriage. things are going well." 80/20 means "there's fat beef between us rn, and we are divorcing."

lol

Maybe if no divorce it's an actual cake, if yes divorce it's just that ugly goddamn sweater your awful mother bought for me, wadded up and slathered in icing.

you'd have to weigh a clump of the meat and render the fat in a george foreman grill to weigh out the answer from the drip pan, which would add to the suspense.

lol Neanderthal, that is too real

How about just a gender reveal party where you reveal that you're actually getting divorced. And of course you have to do it like on a boat or something where people just have to sit and be deeply uncomfortable for another 4-6 hours.

And of course you are actually still bringing a child into a soon to be broken home, and you just kinda offhandedly mention the baby's gender at some point in hour three.

at m night shyamalan's gender reveal party, the color of the cake is a red herring. he reveals to guests that it was the boat color all along that revealed the baby's gender. (he shouts this to leaving guests through sobs, as he's also just been divorced).

also, the boat captain is satan and the baby is immortal

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CU2vGvRXAAI5b9d.jpg

Handedness reveal parties

Done in the form of a punch to the face

A rig where your dental hygienist wears a small point of view camera while working on you and you wear VR goggles so that you can see what she sees while it’s happening to you.

I would pass out

yeah no, the inside of my mouth is basically a biological weapons facility at this point, no need to see it ucap

Have seen that but instead the dentist it was a surgeon and instead of my mouth it was my arsehole. Would recommend

https://i.imgur.com/iO92Xun.gif

a new game called "Storytellers". One player picks a card, which has an occupation printed on it. That player must say 3 descriptive sentences about that occupation that are definitely true, but are vague enough that it's difficult to tell what exactly the occupation is. The fourth sentence is always "So really, I guess you could say that I'm a storyteller." If someone guesses the occupation correctly, they get a point. If nobody guesses correctly, the storyteller gets the point. The first to five points wins, and so really, I guess you could say that they're a storyteller.

a player at 4 points, i.e. close to winning, is said to be "in the garage." when a player wins, they press a button on a little plastic speaker attached to the plastic cards receptacle and some generic blues guitar riffs play for 30 seconds.

this seems like it would be a basically acceptable/popular party game tbh

Okay so I just got a Bosch dishwasher and I think it would be fun if every time I opened it, there were a different hellish scene of ridiculously willowy demons, some with six faces, some with trumpets in their butts, and some that are chewing on each other.

Ad campaign: with a Hieronymus Bosch dishwasher, you never know what you'll see.

Get outta here with that brilliant idea, terrible ideas only. To wit, I have piles of laundry to do and a laundry room that's too far away. My eyes wander over to the dishwasher... but no, surely that's mad! Yet my gaze still lingers.

A Penthouse Forum-esque magazine filled cover to steamy cover with forbidden tales of willful HIPAA violations.

If you don't wash your hands after a slash and are caught, you have to get I AM A DISGUSTING TWAT tattooed on your butt

This is a vintage terrible idea, but my memory was jogged after seeing a Grunt Style shirt yesterday. When I was a teenager in the early 1990s, I got the idea to start a political t-shirt company. I was inspired by Michael Stipe wearing all those different t-shirts at the MTV awards.

https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/3gaOVVxTQuo98XVvi0v_FA--~A/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9NjAwO2g9MzY1O2lsPXBsYW5l/https://67.media.tumblr.com/a694840f2e260e19ad0f658840a446c4/tumblr_inline_ocfe4ox6os1tdqyd7_1280.jpg

I felt like these were a step in the right direction, but I wanted to see something that captured my anger more (I can't remember any of my proposed slogans, thank god) and with graphics that were more stylized, like skateboard shirts. So the name of my company was going to be Bold Statements Wear, with the logo being a "B.S." on the sleeve.

RAINFOREST

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMbYPDAaIA0

xp: see, Bold Statements Wear would have probably upgraded that SAVE THE FUCKING RAINFOREST

nah, man. he's raising awareness of the rainforest. prior to that shirt, I was unaware of the existence of rainforest.

we can destroy it all we want now that we know it exists

I want a line of t-shirts like that but it's more confident in its approach. all nouns, but followed with periods.

RAINFOREST.

But the text must be positioned such that it's still visible when the wearer is defiantly crossing their arms as if they were in the opening credits of a reality competition show.

https://www.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/collections2015/images/3/01/66103/v0_large.jpg

would play storytellers

Litterbox’d, a site where users only review the movie version of Cats

― Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Tuesday, 7 January 2020 15:48 (two weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

genius

A Quantum Leap-esque series wherein the protagonist is tasked with making things super awkward for entertainers of the past by confronting them with their discordant future works. Like going to the Haight during a Jefferson Airplane gig and playing 'Hearts' for all assembled, that sort of thing.

'Mmm, those vocals are so smooth, Marty!'

"I guess we really DID build this city on rock and roll."