your terrible ideas

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1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (twelve years ago) link

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (twelve years ago) link

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (twelve years ago) link

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (twelve years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (twelve years ago) link

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (twelve years ago) link

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (twelve years ago) link

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (twelve years ago) link

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (twelve years ago) link

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (twelve years ago) link

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (twelve years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (twelve years ago) link

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (twelve years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (twelve years ago) link

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (twelve years ago) link

rong

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (twelve years ago) link

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (twelve years ago) link

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (twelve years ago) link

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (twelve years ago) link

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (twelve years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (twelve years ago) link

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (twelve years ago) link

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (twelve years ago) link

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (twelve years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (twelve years ago) link

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (twelve years ago) link

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (twelve years ago) link

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (twelve years ago) link

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (twelve years ago) link

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (twelve years ago) link

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (twelve years ago) link

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (twelve years ago) link

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (twelve years ago) link

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (twelve years ago) link

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (twelve years ago) link

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (twelve years ago) link

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (twelve years ago) link

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (twelve years ago) link

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (twelve years ago) link

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:40 (twelve years ago) link

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:41 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (twelve years ago) link

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (twelve years ago) link

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:44 (twelve years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (twelve years ago) link

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (twelve years ago) link

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (twelve years ago) link

A+

H.R. MacGufnstuf (James Redd and the Blecchs), Monday, 25 April 2022 10:17 (three weeks ago) link

TV show presented by Abby Elliott called 'Saturday Night Live jr.' in which the children of former SNL cast-members audition for SNL and put on skits together, one is eliminated each week, the winner gets to be a featured player on the next series of SNL

soref, Tuesday, 26 April 2022 12:05 (three weeks ago) link

^ not at all terrible

Fifty Centaur (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 26 April 2022 15:58 (three weeks ago) link

Not my terrible idea but an actual terrible idea someone else has foisted upon the world or at least the South East of England. I was in Sainsbury's yesterday and bought some paracetamol. This afternoon at work I had a headache and took a couple. However just before doing so I noticed that 'Each tablet contains: Paracetamol 500mg, Caffeine 65mg". So each standard dose of two tablets has more caffeine than a medium sized can of Red Bull. But I had a headache and nothing else was available so I took them anyway. Whose brilliant idea was this?

colleague: "Paracetamol in the conference room!"
snoball: "I'd like to swallow some of that! Namely 2 x tablets containing 500mg of paracetamol each as I have a headache and that's the recommended dose also I shouldn't have shouted just then should I because I have a headache right?"

snoball goes down to the conference room, sees it's paracetamol tablets with caffeine not just regular paracetamol tablets...

snoball: "RAARARAGGRR!!!" *Hulks out in caffeine induced rage*

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 28 April 2022 18:14 (three weeks ago) link

a website like twitter where every post is just replaced with pics of dog turds and it's called Shitter.

and once it goes live, Twitter is shut down permanently and redirects to this site.

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Thursday, 28 April 2022 19:07 (three weeks ago) link

Probably less terrible than whatever Elon has planned...

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 28 April 2022 19:49 (three weeks ago) link

OK so according to a colleague at work, the reason for caffiene in paracetamol tablets is to speed up the absorbtion of the paracetamol into the bloodstream.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Thursday, 5 May 2022 20:30 (two weeks ago) link

Paracetamol: "caffiene in the conference room!"
snoball's bloodstream: "I'd like to absorb some of that!"

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 6 May 2022 02:05 (two weeks ago) link

like did you spend two weeks not realizing the reason they’d put caffeine in without looking it up or

mh, Friday, 6 May 2022 03:05 (two weeks ago) link

tbf the product called “excedrin” has been a standard in the US forever, that combination, get your paracetamol fix on quick

mh, Friday, 6 May 2022 03:07 (two weeks ago) link

I can bring water to a boil more quickly if I use multiple pots and kettles with smaller amounts of water in them and then combine all the boiled waters at the end

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 05:01 (one week ago) link

Sell sets of 4 mini-kettles that each hold 1/4 of the water you need. Would be perfect for a conventional stovetop

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 05:02 (one week ago) link

Boogie Nights but it's Ryan's World

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 14:18 (one week ago) link

uh tbc I'm not talking about the porn industry mixed with children. In this case, dirk is a terrible dad whose "gift" is his son, so he produces low quality videos of him opening toys.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 17:32 (one week ago) link

^^
Perfect tag line for the movie poster

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 17:37 (one week ago) link

exploitation, hubris, tragedy, a man adjusting the lighting above a tonka truck, complaining about "tough shadows"

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 17:38 (one week ago) link

I can bring water to a boil more quickly if I use multiple pots and kettles with smaller amounts of water in them and then combine all the boiled waters at the end

I do this all the time, so I don't think it's a terrible idea. Though I only use two vessels, the actual pot to be used plus a kettle.

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 12 May 2022 21:09 (one week ago) link

:) i did use two last night, for the first time. felt a little silly but immediately was eyeing those other 2 empty burners

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 21:50 (one week ago) link

if i had a ton of money, i'd see how far i could push that. imagine 32 burners with half an ounce of water on each one. or 64 burners, each with a little pvc drip feed to supply the drips of water to each tiny kettle. some sort of system to turn all the burners on at once, and then, just a few seconds later, tip them down into the waiting coffee reservoir

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 21:54 (one week ago) link

you need an incredibly hot metal rod next to the stove that you can stick in a single large pot, causing it to instantly boil. do not touch or drop the incredibly hot metal rod.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:03 (one week ago) link

i love how terrible this idea is getting

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:08 (one week ago) link

what about 64 incredibly hot metal rod, grooved, tilted down (using the power of _gravity_, thank you mother nature). it only takes each of the tiny water sources about 2-3 seconds to slide down the hot metal, but during that time it goes from room temperature to boiling

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:10 (one week ago) link

oh, and not only that, but the excess steam is collected and helps to warm the buns

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:11 (one week ago) link

Maybe you can find a blacksmith in need of forging space? You could make money boiling your water.

Michael Flatley's (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:15 (one week ago) link

put me in coach

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:19 (one week ago) link

what would be amazing is if the steam could be used to heat the next set of 64 incredibly hot metal rods. a "perpetual energy device", if you will

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:20 (one week ago) link

of course, you'd have to arrange the morning routines with the neighborhood ahead of time. the old-timers would kick off the coffee process at around 4 am, make their way up and down the block, and then by the time i get up around 9:15-10am, that recycled steam is just about to get to my place, nice

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Thursday, 12 May 2022 22:21 (one week ago) link

Karl, I am pretty sure there are aspects of distillation and saltmaking that are done precisely that way (individual modules, each of whose whose heat powers the next one). Not quite perpetual but definitely similar

may the florist be with you (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 13 May 2022 02:01 (one week ago) link

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 May 2022 02:04 (one week ago) link

Fuck yes

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Friday, 13 May 2022 02:12 (one week ago) link

Ye Mad, that makes me feel good, but I can’t help but feel the next terrible step is to take it to the community coffee level

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Friday, 13 May 2022 02:13 (one week ago) link

isn't salt made with an electric current or something

towards fungal computer (harbl), Friday, 13 May 2022 03:42 (one week ago) link

how about an auto-generated thread or feed that is just made up of twitter links that people post on ILX in real time. so i can just read twitter through ILX's eyes and never have to post or interact

budo jeru, Friday, 13 May 2022 18:49 (one week ago) link

on ILX or on twitter, to be clear

budo jeru, Friday, 13 May 2022 18:49 (one week ago) link

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Thursday, May 12, 2022 10:04 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Hungry? Perhaps you'd like a POOP BURGER

Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Friday, 13 May 2022 19:46 (one week ago) link

I updated the Wikipedia article for "poop" with all of the details from the article DJP posted, but they took all of it out cos it turned out to be fake lol

Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Friday, 13 May 2022 20:08 (one week ago) link

xp wow my posts on that thread sure are terrible. Co-incidentally, because I thought of this earlier this afternoon before reading the updates to this thread...

A really bad Kaiser Chiefs tribute band from Germany, called the Schiesse Chiefs.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 13 May 2022 20:32 (one week ago) link

A big box store called The Ham Depot where they only sell ham

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Friday, 13 May 2022 22:24 (one week ago) link

Home Depot doesn't sell homes????

pplains, Saturday, 14 May 2022 03:30 (one week ago) link

What a terrible idea.

Talking about Home Depot, not you Chinchilla.

pplains, Saturday, 14 May 2022 03:31 (one week ago) link

No. If you need homes, you go to Toll Brothers.

And if you need Wals to build those homes, you go to Wal-Mart.

And if you need fresh, fragrant cookies to make those houses into homes, you go to Toll House.

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Saturday, 14 May 2022 06:05 (one week ago) link

sears used to sell homes
in an earlier time, i bet the home depot really would have sold homes

let's face it: we all love going to home depot

Bruce Stingbean (Karl Malone), Saturday, 14 May 2022 06:06 (one week ago) link

I just go for the music.

pplains, Saturday, 14 May 2022 13:22 (one week ago) link

Home Depot absolutely sells homes, but there may be some assembly required

Muad'Doob (Moodles), Saturday, 14 May 2022 15:32 (one week ago) link

germ gems, jewelry shaped like germs

Society for the Preservation of (cat), Sunday, 22 May 2022 12:25 (five hours ago) link

what about a dispensary called "home de pot"

towards fungal computer (harbl), Sunday, 22 May 2022 14:01 (three hours ago) link

or POT DEPOT

towards fungal computer (harbl), Sunday, 22 May 2022 14:02 (three hours ago) link

has there been a weed kingpin called the pot despot? if not i may have to claim the title for myself. except i don’t smoke or anything. perhaps i should take up pottery and throw down with forks (lol get it, throw, like pottery) for the title of ilx’s pot despot. except fuck fucking with clay, my hands are dry enough already. i guess forks wins this round. get it, round, like a pot?

this post has been brought to you by a series of terrible ideas.

Society for the Preservation of (cat), Sunday, 22 May 2022 15:48 (one hour ago) link

An action film, but arty/snobby, so instead of lots of explosions you get lots of implosions.

Halfway there but for you, Sunday, 22 May 2022 16:15 (one hour ago) link

That’s just Magnolia

gyac, Sunday, 22 May 2022 16:39 (forty-six minutes ago) link


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