your terrible ideas

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

5. date down

6. date

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

12. Going back to school.

nah, that's a great idea.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

rong

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

A+

TV show presented by Abby Elliott called 'Saturday Night Live jr.' in which the children of former SNL cast-members audition for SNL and put on skits together, one is eliminated each week, the winner gets to be a featured player on the next series of SNL

^ not at all terrible

Not my terrible idea but an actual terrible idea someone else has foisted upon the world or at least the South East of England. I was in Sainsbury's yesterday and bought some paracetamol. This afternoon at work I had a headache and took a couple. However just before doing so I noticed that 'Each tablet contains: Paracetamol 500mg, Caffeine 65mg". So each standard dose of two tablets has more caffeine than a medium sized can of Red Bull. But I had a headache and nothing else was available so I took them anyway. Whose brilliant idea was this?

colleague: "Paracetamol in the conference room!"
snoball: "I'd like to swallow some of that! Namely 2 x tablets containing 500mg of paracetamol each as I have a headache and that's the recommended dose also I shouldn't have shouted just then should I because I have a headache right?"

snoball goes down to the conference room, sees it's paracetamol tablets with caffeine not just regular paracetamol tablets...

snoball: "RAARARAGGRR!!!" *Hulks out in caffeine induced rage*

a website like twitter where every post is just replaced with pics of dog turds and it's called Shitter.

and once it goes live, Twitter is shut down permanently and redirects to this site.

Probably less terrible than whatever Elon has planned...

OK so according to a colleague at work, the reason for caffiene in paracetamol tablets is to speed up the absorbtion of the paracetamol into the bloodstream.

Paracetamol: "caffiene in the conference room!"
snoball's bloodstream: "I'd like to absorb some of that!"

like did you spend two weeks not realizing the reason they’d put caffeine in without looking it up or

tbf the product called “excedrin” has been a standard in the US forever, that combination, get your paracetamol fix on quick

I can bring water to a boil more quickly if I use multiple pots and kettles with smaller amounts of water in them and then combine all the boiled waters at the end

Sell sets of 4 mini-kettles that each hold 1/4 of the water you need. Would be perfect for a conventional stovetop

Boogie Nights but it's Ryan's World

uh tbc I'm not talking about the porn industry mixed with children. In this case, dirk is a terrible dad whose "gift" is his son, so he produces low quality videos of him opening toys.

^^
Perfect tag line for the movie poster

exploitation, hubris, tragedy, a man adjusting the lighting above a tonka truck, complaining about "tough shadows"

I can bring water to a boil more quickly if I use multiple pots and kettles with smaller amounts of water in them and then combine all the boiled waters at the end

I do this all the time, so I don't think it's a terrible idea. Though I only use two vessels, the actual pot to be used plus a kettle.

:) i did use two last night, for the first time. felt a little silly but immediately was eyeing those other 2 empty burners

if i had a ton of money, i'd see how far i could push that. imagine 32 burners with half an ounce of water on each one. or 64 burners, each with a little pvc drip feed to supply the drips of water to each tiny kettle. some sort of system to turn all the burners on at once, and then, just a few seconds later, tip them down into the waiting coffee reservoir

you need an incredibly hot metal rod next to the stove that you can stick in a single large pot, causing it to instantly boil. do not touch or drop the incredibly hot metal rod.

i love how terrible this idea is getting

what about 64 incredibly hot metal rod, grooved, tilted down (using the power of _gravity_, thank you mother nature). it only takes each of the tiny water sources about 2-3 seconds to slide down the hot metal, but during that time it goes from room temperature to boiling

oh, and not only that, but the excess steam is collected and helps to warm the buns

Maybe you can find a blacksmith in need of forging space? You could make money boiling your water.

put me in coach

what would be amazing is if the steam could be used to heat the next set of 64 incredibly hot metal rods. a "perpetual energy device", if you will

of course, you'd have to arrange the morning routines with the neighborhood ahead of time. the old-timers would kick off the coffee process at around 4 am, make their way up and down the block, and then by the time i get up around 9:15-10am, that recycled steam is just about to get to my place, nice

Karl, I am pretty sure there are aspects of distillation and saltmaking that are done precisely that way (individual modules, each of whose whose heat powers the next one). Not quite perpetual but definitely similar

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

Fuck yes

Ye Mad, that makes me feel good, but I can’t help but feel the next terrible step is to take it to the community coffee level

isn't salt made with an electric current or something

how about an auto-generated thread or feed that is just made up of twitter links that people post on ILX in real time. so i can just read twitter through ILX's eyes and never have to post or interact

on ILX or on twitter, to be clear

a toilet that recycles your poos and makes a healthy smoothie out of it

― Deez NFTs (Neanderthal), Thursday, May 12, 2022 10:04 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

Hungry? Perhaps you'd like a POOP BURGER

I updated the Wikipedia article for "poop" with all of the details from the article DJP posted, but they took all of it out cos it turned out to be fake lol

xp wow my posts on that thread sure are terrible. Co-incidentally, because I thought of this earlier this afternoon before reading the updates to this thread...

A really bad Kaiser Chiefs tribute band from Germany, called the Schiesse Chiefs.

A big box store called The Ham Depot where they only sell ham

Home Depot doesn't sell homes????

What a terrible idea.

Talking about Home Depot, not you Chinchilla.

No. If you need homes, you go to Toll Brothers.

And if you need Wals to build those homes, you go to Wal-Mart.

And if you need fresh, fragrant cookies to make those houses into homes, you go to Toll House.

sears used to sell homes
in an earlier time, i bet the home depot really would have sold homes

let's face it: we all love going to home depot

I just go for the music.

Home Depot absolutely sells homes, but there may be some assembly required

germ gems, jewelry shaped like germs

what about a dispensary called "home de pot"

or POT DEPOT

has there been a weed kingpin called the pot despot? if not i may have to claim the title for myself. except i don’t smoke or anything. perhaps i should take up pottery and throw down with forks (lol get it, throw, like pottery) for the title of ilx’s pot despot. except fuck fucking with clay, my hands are dry enough already. i guess forks wins this round. get it, round, like a pot?

this post has been brought to you by a series of terrible ideas.

An action film, but arty/snobby, so instead of lots of explosions you get lots of implosions.

That’s just Magnolia