your terrible ideas

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1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (eleven years ago) link

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (eleven years ago) link

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (eleven years ago) link

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (eleven years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (eleven years ago) link

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (eleven years ago) link

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (eleven years ago) link

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (eleven years ago) link

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (eleven years ago) link

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (eleven years ago) link

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (eleven years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (eleven years ago) link

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (eleven years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (eleven years ago) link

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (eleven years ago) link

rong

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (ten years ago) link

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (ten years ago) link

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (ten years ago) link

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (ten years ago) link

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (ten years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (ten years ago) link

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (ten years ago) link

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (ten years ago) link

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (ten years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (ten years ago) link

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (ten years ago) link

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (ten years ago) link

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (ten years ago) link

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (ten years ago) link

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (ten years ago) link

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (ten years ago) link

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (ten years ago) link

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (ten years ago) link

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (ten years ago) link

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (ten years ago) link

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (ten years ago) link

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (ten years ago) link

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (ten years ago) link

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (ten years ago) link

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:41 (ten years ago) link

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (ten years ago) link

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (ten years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (ten years ago) link

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (ten years ago) link

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (ten years ago) link

A zombie movie where 80% of the people carrying the zombie virus are asymptomatic

silverfish, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 13:08 (three months ago) link

lol

Unparalleled Elegance (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 13:32 (three months ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/Z0bMZJX.jpg

"You hear about Malkmus changing his tune? Says now that you should ALWAYS quarantine the passed."

pplains, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 14:15 (three months ago) link

:D

Le Bateau Ivre, Tuesday, 24 March 2020 15:14 (three months ago) link

wowee

latin hypercube in shitspace (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 24 March 2020 15:23 (three months ago) link

I'm gonna start a kissing booth

DJP, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 12:56 (three months ago) link

lol, now would be a particularly bad time to revive the lamentable “FREE HUGS” trend of the mid-00s

(Every time I saw someone with one of those signs I would think “I’ve never paid for a hug in my life you twee fuck”)

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 12:58 (three months ago) link

Actually, a sign that says "HUGS: $5" feels right for these times

DJP, Wednesday, 25 March 2020 13:02 (three months ago) link

Fines start at £30 here

felt jute gyte delete later (wins), Wednesday, 25 March 2020 13:10 (three months ago) link

a band called Ghost Train where the lead singer is a little kid dressed like papa ermeritus but with Thomas the Tank Engine face paint. They'd perform this song but w/ better guitar/harmony/etc. parts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSARStO46g4

Nudeln und Klopapier Gore (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 30 March 2020 19:49 (three months ago) link

New holiday called Vapril Fools, where everyone carries around kazoos and pretends that they’re vape pens

By “pretend that they’re vape pens” I’m taking about people not the kazoos, which are just for fun and self defense

Ok bloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 1 April 2020 12:46 (three months ago) link

Not a good time to be putting your mouth on people

silby, Wednesday, 1 April 2020 15:24 (three months ago) link

That’s where the ”fools” part comes in

Ok bloomer (latebloomer), Wednesday, 1 April 2020 16:33 (three months ago) link

A little tiny hourglass measured out to 20 seconds that each patron using the office restroom could flip over before they washed their hands.

pplains, Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:33 (three months ago) link

Do they flip it with their hands? If so, cool, belongs in this thread.

One that worked with a foot pedal might actually be a good idea

no one ever is to blave (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 2 April 2020 16:59 (three months ago) link

How about everybody has to flip it over after they wash their hands, starting the timer for the next person? That way it helps the sanitation problem, while also introducing a fun new time-constrained coordination exercise to public bathrooms

Karl Malone, Thursday, 2 April 2020 18:44 (three months ago) link

Would need to think about the penalty for not beating the timer, though.

Karl Malone, Thursday, 2 April 2020 18:45 (three months ago) link

a service that schedules your meeting on all available video conferencing platforms and then randomly selects one immediately before the meeting. because of this, nobody can express their favor or preference for one of the other platforms during or before the meeting. the opinion is useless. we use Webinar Herzog for meetings at this company, and we've accepted the chaotic nature of the video conferencing wilderness.

Nudeln und Klopapier Gore (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:15 (three months ago) link

How about robotic "cuffs" that extend out and clamp on your wrists, forcing you to vigorously wash your hands for 20 second?

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 2 April 2020 19:33 (three months ago) link

a carwash for your hands, like those spinning brushes that bars have to wash drinking glasses. but you stick your hands in there for 20 seconds. clean, raw hands.

forensic plumber (harbl), Friday, 3 April 2020 20:07 (three months ago) link

truly horrible, kudos

mh, Friday, 3 April 2020 20:27 (three months ago) link

A(nother) song reminding people to wash their hands, titled 'Wash Your Hands', sung to the tune of David Bowie's 'Watch That Man'.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Friday, 3 April 2020 20:39 (three months ago) link

You've heard about daylight saving time. What about daylight saving space? Every spring, everything gets a little bit bigger. Like a millimeter in every direction (for things at a recognizably human scale).

Then, in the fall, everything shrinks by the same amount. You'll barely notice, because it's everything, and it stays proportional.

Then we can join that concept together with daylight saving time, and thus have a true four-dimensional daylight saving spacetime.

cuomo money, cuomo problems (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 8 April 2020 23:43 (two months ago) link

Well I've always wanted to see the Grand Canyon look smaller than everything else.

pplains, Thursday, 9 April 2020 00:50 (two months ago) link

dick pic timestamps under new scrutiny

Nudeln und Klopapier Gore (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 9 April 2020 01:41 (two months ago) link

audiophiles going fucking crazy bc the frequency response of their setups shifts dramatically with the new rc time constant

Nudeln und Klopapier Gore (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 9 April 2020 01:44 (two months ago) link

Need to readjust the cpu clock. All lenses now out of focus.

Nudeln und Klopapier Gore (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 9 April 2020 01:45 (two months ago) link

"I brought my fall glasses by accident"

Nudeln und Klopapier Gore (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 9 April 2020 01:45 (two months ago) link

A German gangsta rapper called Glock'N'Spiel.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Monday, 13 April 2020 10:26 (two months ago) link

A day in the life film where life is narrated to the tune of Playa Hater by Biggie, describing everything that person does in that sing song voice

a hoy hoy, Wednesday, 15 April 2020 16:30 (two months ago) link

A twitter account for being mean about art and people in the art world, called Angry Juan Gris.

Tim, Tuesday, 21 April 2020 14:03 (two months ago) link

start a long thread on twitter explaining that epidemiologists are finding out many earlier cases of covid-19 from january or even earlier have been identified outside china and there’s a country still under reporting that was likely the real source of the virus: russia

then get all of the people who are obsessed with claiming everything in the usa is a symptom of russian interference on board with calling it the “russian virus”

mh, Wednesday, 22 April 2020 12:40 (two months ago) link

two weeks pass...

write an 800-page intellectual history of rockism in the style of late twentieth century poststructuralist french philosophy

budo jeru, Saturday, 9 May 2020 03:54 (one month ago) link

I might read that

silby, Saturday, 9 May 2020 04:57 (one month ago) link

a sequel to ‘yesterday’ in which jack shoots to stardom on the wings back catalogue

karmic blowback for dissing pip and jane baker (Autumn Almanac), Thursday, 14 May 2020 10:19 (one month ago) link

And then an alternate universe spinoff where he records Shaved Fish and Double Fantasy

Rodent of usual size (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 14 May 2020 12:25 (one month ago) link

one month passes...

A guitar effects pedal - when you push down the switch, the signal from your guitar is cut off and the pedal automatically generates widdly-widdly fills and solos until you release the switch again.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Sunday, 14 June 2020 12:34 (three weeks ago) link

also a Zoom version where you hold down the spacebar and it fills in corporate waffle for you

kinder, Sunday, 14 June 2020 13:07 (three weeks ago) link

The Philip K Dolls - a Pussycat Dolls tribute act where each member is styled after a particular PKD novel.

Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Saturday, 20 June 2020 20:06 (two weeks ago) link

Homes Under The Hammer but instead of grimy two-up two-downs in northern Britain they send Dion Dublin to look at fixer-uppers in Sydney and Melbourne.

Homes Down Under The Hammer

BRAVE THE AFRIAD (onimo), Wednesday, 24 June 2020 10:27 (one week ago) link

How is that not already a thing?

Vanishing Point (Chinaski), Wednesday, 24 June 2020 10:32 (one week ago) link

make MC Hammer the new host

Homes Down Under The Hammer Time

koogs, Wednesday, 24 June 2020 10:43 (one week ago) link

with Cyndi Lauper co-hosting:

Homes Down Under The Hammer Time After Time

No mean feat. DaBaby (breastcrawl), Wednesday, 24 June 2020 17:31 (one week ago) link

Denny's Homes Down Under the Hammer

the warm seafood salad that exists (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 24 June 2020 17:55 (one week ago) link

World’s Most Evil Kittens

Tim, Friday, 26 June 2020 18:10 (one week ago) link

If Aretha had lived long enough, I would've liked to propose she sing an updated version of 'Who's Zoomin' Who' to advertise...well, you know.

Well, that's a fine howdy adieu! (Old Lunch), Sunday, 28 June 2020 00:22 (one week ago) link

would that she had

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Sunday, 28 June 2020 01:42 (one week ago) link

http://cnn.com/2020/07/01/us/hampton-inn-black-family-pool-trnd/index.html?fbclid=IwAR0CUbvh5VLn_mb82ryMJk-DxZuvN9ttz0_nOdDVz6Kpe8ZA9A_RoHEv0og

I kind of want to write a short story about a black family who has the police called on them like this while staying in a hotel, and to try to make up for it, corporate gives them multiple free hotel stays. Only then, in each of the multiple free hotel stays, they again have the police called on them. So they just exponentially grow vacations but continue to get harassed each time.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 1 July 2020 20:38 (five days ago) link

Sounds like Hilbert's Hotel, but with racism

koogs, Wednesday, 1 July 2020 21:10 (five days ago) link

I could see it as a Jordan Peele film, although it's kind of a flimsy premise for a feature

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 1 July 2020 21:12 (five days ago) link


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