your terrible ideas

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

5. date down

6. date

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

12. Going back to school.

nah, that's a great idea.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

rong

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

a law that allows adults with braces to skip airport security. clearly, they plan to be alive for awhile.

An advert for Bisto gravy that uses Ottowan's 'DISCO' for the music, and it's set in a recreation of Studio 54. Except people on the dancefloor are smearing themselves in gravy and snorting gravy powder like cocaine etc..

here is my terrible idea:

an underwear line made up entirely of thongs silkscreened with Bloomberg's face

Do you mean garments upon which Bloomberg's visage has been applied via silkscreen or do you mean that someone has removed Bloomberg's face and is using it to silkscreen garments

I think like the Turin shroud

removing Bloomberg's face is not a terrible idea

This is not my terrible idea but WOW is it terrible

McDonald’s to sell limited edition six-pack of candles that smell like Quarter Pounder ingredients: Ketchup, Pickle, Cheese, Onion & Beef. pic.twitter.com/XpBv6l79S0

— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 20, 2020

I should get those

will the onion one make you cry?

A cheese scented candle?!

Isn't that just a block of cheese with a candle wick in it?

This is not my terrible idea but WOW is it terrible

McDonald’s to sell limited edition six-pack of candles that smell like Quarter Pounder ingredients: Ketchup, Pickle, Cheese, Onion & Beef. pic.twitter.com/XpBv6l79S0
— Darren Rovell (@darrenrovell) February 20, 2020

― totally unnecessary bewbz of exploitation (DJP), Thursday, February 20, 2020 3:18 PM (two minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Better or worse than the Gwyneth Paltrow vagina-scented candle?

Wait

WHAT

xp depends which of the McD's candles it smells most like

A real (combined) McDonald's scented candle would just smell of warm cardboard.

'Oh no no no, that wasn't me, it was my six McDonalds Quarter Pounder candles.' (quickly + surreptitiously lights candles)

mh, report to the penalty box (which smells like- no, I can't finish that joke)

*lights pepsi cola candle*

An advert for Bisto gravy that uses Ottowan's 'DISCO' for the music, and it's set in a recreation of Studio 54. Except people on the dancefloor are smearing themselves in gravy and snorting gravy powder like cocaine etc..

a stage play in the style of Frost/Nixon (I have not seen it, just going off what I know of the concept) called Trump/Clinton

it's all about the prep of Clinton going into the debates, how she decides to frame her arguments as if she's lecturing a small child on how he can't be president, and the script lingers way too long on moments where she's directly speaking to an audience with him creepily leering over her shoulder

https://i.imgur.com/DekRZSc.jpg

there's a self-insert scene where it pans out to me watching on my couch, drinking heavily, and mumbling about how she debated the guy she had to defeat to get in the NY senate more effectively

then there's a recreation of that guy, and he's played by Mickey Mouse, who he sounded like

Quid Pro Quo - a Status Quo tribute band who are not very good, but it only costs £1 to see them.

haha

Lol

Rescore 'Blade Runner' using Jean-Michel Jarre's 'Zoolook' album.

i'll see that & raise you a disney style live action remake of spirited away.

sorry, 'live action'.

Oh for fuck’s sake, I’d protest the premiere

A gameshow like family fued, but the survey is fed into a nlp algorithm that estimates the likelihood of an answer. Goal is to give an answer that <0.1% of population would give according to the algorithm. Answers fed into algorithm in real time to prevent successful reuse of good answers.

i like that idea but i would change the successful range to something like 0.1%< x < 1.0%, because otherwise you could just answer "ten stamp ralphie cat banana face" or whatever. setting the target zone just higher would mean you'd have to answer with something that's just barely plausible and still makes some sense

so we are a team then. let's go get some investors.

the pitch meeting should start like this:

"hello group of 6 middle-aged men with shaved heads sitting behind the same side of a long table. what if we asked you one question - "what dish would you bring to a 4th of july potluck?" - but with a twist. you have to come up with an answer that between 0.1% and 1.0% of the general population agrees with? go ahead, please. try to answer that question now."

"...no, incorrect."
"....no, think a little less common, less than 1% but greater than 0.1%"
"....-n-no. no."
"...haha, no that's not right"
"...haha i'm afraid "ten stamp ralphie cat banana face" is a little too esoteric, remember you need to guess something that is greater than 0.1% as well, so it can't just be a random string of words"
"...no"

...

"well it looks like we're out of time for this episode, i mean pitch meeting. thank you for your time"

(possible back-up plan in case pitch meeting doesn't go well: in a 6th sense style twist ending, tell them that the meeting they just had WAS an episode! in fact, it was the pilot. this will buy more time for maneuvering and adjustments to the pitch, possibly leading to a second meeting)

do you not have Pointless in the US?

eminem starts rapping like it's y2k again, making novelty songs about pop culture

he'd rhyme "billie eilish" with "coronavirus" obviously

saw a twitter joke like that except it was miley cyrus instead of billie eilish

his references are a little out of date, sure

Coronalympics. All the athletes compete via YouTube.

too late, they're already sorta doing that for multiple sports!

https://kotaku.com/entire-spanish-soccer-league-including-barcelona-and-r-1842402310

After the success of a one-off game between Sevilla and Real Betis on the weekend, all 20 sides in Spain’s currently-suspended La Liga—from Barcelona to Atletico Madrid to Valencia—are getting together to play a tournament in FIFA 20.

unfortunately, your idea has also been declined because it was a good one - apparently people loved it and they're expanding the competition!

A zombie movie where 80% of the people carrying the zombie virus are asymptomatic

lol

https://i.imgur.com/Z0bMZJX.jpg

"You hear about Malkmus changing his tune? Says now that you should ALWAYS quarantine the passed."

:D

wowee

I'm gonna start a kissing booth

lol, now would be a particularly bad time to revive the lamentable “FREE HUGS” trend of the mid-00s

(Every time I saw someone with one of those signs I would think “I’ve never paid for a hug in my life you twee fuck”)

Actually, a sign that says "HUGS: $5" feels right for these times

Fines start at £30 here