your terrible ideas

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

5. date down

6. date

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

12. Going back to school.

nah, that's a great idea.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

rong

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

eh..tiny print

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

would that actually like... save you any money?

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

im dying over rice that is brown

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

patoetry plzzz

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

A Terrible Plan!

tramp stamps on actual tramps

like, hoboes

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

^feelin this

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

"dunk hunt"

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

Every time people have tried to get me to play it I'm like, not only is there no possibility of that ever happening while I'm both conscious and alive, your eagerness to indulge in this effrontery of nature has me rethinking our continued association.

xp the scrapegoat should not be a real word. i think you are eliminated if the new scrapegoat is (in total, not parts) a real word.

Please when you are writing the instructions, include variations of the phrase 'I think' as often as possible.

if a player makes the mistake of inserting two extra 'r's, i think they are not only eliminated, they are said to have "Groats Disease" (because they made a "scrapegroat")

I think I would literally die if there were game instructions that were like:

Q: What happens when my piece lands on a black square and I'm still holding all of my magic tokens?
A: I'm not sure.

Cronenbergian stirrups? I seriously do not know to what you refer.

There has been a vogue for children's games where a strong chance of humiliation and/or discomfort is the object - Wet Head, Shark Bite, Pop the Pig, Facepie...

But I know nothing about what grownups do for "fun" anymore except commiseration, sex, and drinking (all of which are way more fun than Pictionary or whatev).

I'm talking about this nightmare specifically:

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ACDwFtPyZPQ/maxresdefault.jpg

Although in searching for appropriate images I'm quadruply aghast to learn that there are multiple games out there employing this technology.

that is disgusting

My terrible idea is a game like this except involving something that contorts the players' buttholes into all kinds of uncomfortable configurations. I'll call it...I dunno, The Riddle of the Sphincter. I expect to be a bazillionaire by this time next year.

Ready, Set, Goatse!

We can workshop it.

that's more an elaborate pickup line

Lol @ lunch's riddle of the sphincter

A limited edition Fanta called Fanta Black that's coloured with Vantablack (which is probably poisonous anyway).

― I only listen to Vantablack Metal (snoball), Thursday, 7 August 2014 10:32 (five years ago)

So you're such a douchebro that driving a BMW SUV isn't douchebro enough for you? Why not buy one in Vantablack?
BMW unveils blackest black car sprayed with Vantablack
Seriously, the amount of accidents this might cause because people won't be able to see it properly or accurately be able to figure out exactly in which direction it's pointing/moving.

If only they could make the leather seats that color, it'd be perfect for summer cruisin'.

Yeah the whole thing is a heat trap. Except that anyone who buys this is just going to do what practically every other SUV owner does, and drive around with the AC cranked to max.

At least you'll be able to see the BMW when the driver turns on their blinker – o wait.

None more blacker

A bar, open only on weekdays from 9am to 5pm, called We(don't)Work

I like that

ROBERT PALMER: Look, chap, I know this isn't my "jurisdiction," but I wear ties and you wear ties. We both have the same goals in mind, now don't we?

EDDIE MONEY: Fair enough. But listen – we don't bow to the Queen here in New York City. We might both wear ties, but keep in mind this is my joint, ok?

PALMER: I wouldn't dream of intruding.

[MONEY reaches into overflowing file cabinet and pulls out a folder. Tosses it to PALMER, who barely catches it.]

MONEY: Guy we're looking for is one William Martin Joel. Goes by "Billy" on the street. Wears ties, sure, but we think he's being satirical about it...

looool

[PALMER opens the folder and looks at an old mugshot of Joel.]

PALMER: Any idea where I can find him?

MONEY: We know he spends a lot of time hanging around on 52nd Street.

HFS, i swear I had no idea.

https://i.imgur.com/Rz9H636.jpg
https://nypost.com/2019/09/13/nypd-clears-up-eddie-money-cop-mystery/

Thanks to some dude for the info.

Writing a letter to the local nursery called Lilliput to say that from the point of view of the children it should be called Brobdingnag.

:D :D :D :D

A cover version of Manfred Mann's 'Pretty Flamingo' except it's re-titled 'Placido Domingo'.

An instrument that's a cross between a flute and a trombone, and basically looks like a brass bicycle pump.

A service that custom-"trombonizes" any musical instrument, installing sliding hardware so that you can telescope it to and fro to change its pitch.

The Tromboner®

How about a guitar with elastic strings and a telescoping neck?

http://www.steinberger.com/Synapse-Transcale-Integrated-Capo.html

Wow. They've even got a bass one.

Superbone

The Superbone is a hybrid trombone. It has the slide mechanism of a standard trombone and the valve mechanism of a valve trombone.

I should open a shop that sells these, and call it The Superbone Zone.

olol

take me to The Superbone Zone

https://i.imgur.com/AHtBLp8.gif

over the superbone zone, the booblight hovers

a different version of golf called "garf." the rules of garf are exactly the same as those of golf, but a much stricter dress code is enforced in all club houses and courses. absolutely no casual wear shall be permitted. the garf itself is playacted in a public park or other open space.

Jazz Garf in the Park

I really need a more thorough explanation of garf

the world according to

look, i could try to sell you on garf in this thread all day. but i think it's best we just put on kilts, don our paddy caps, lace up our cleats, grab a club (fallen tree branch), and get garfing. once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked. I shot a miserable 98 this weekend and missed my son's birthday while doing so. the damn garf ball was attracted to hazards (innocent people in the park). but i'd be out there again today if not for this damned desk job (i'd rather be garfing).

once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked

which you can get lessons to fix

oh my, i beg your permission to use that one this weekend with the beverage cart driver (a Canada goose)

xp it actually requires surgery to fix

idgi this sounds basically like miniature garf only bigger?

sounds to me like frisbee garf but with a ball

"Dressed...for the nines."

https://i.ibb.co/qrx4PNF/60-BA7-C78-36-FC-47-FA-9-C19-CF1-F68-AF10-C8.jpg

Start a rap career using the stage name Young MD. Wear scrubs and rap only about medical issues. Eventually form a rap supergroup with Young MA, Young MB*, and Young MC.

*Spotify bio: "Young MB started his career in rap primarily in the year 2017, mainly French rap. Before he saw rap as something that happened with friends soon enough, he found out that it was special and he wanted to share that with the world."

Also in the course of formulating this terrible idea I discovered that there is a rapper out there calling himself Young BM, which is a Terrible Idea.