your terrible ideas

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1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (ten years ago) link

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (ten years ago) link

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (ten years ago) link

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (ten years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (ten years ago) link

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (ten years ago) link

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (ten years ago) link

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (ten years ago) link

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (ten years ago) link

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (ten years ago) link

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (ten years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (ten years ago) link

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (ten years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (ten years ago) link

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (ten years ago) link

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (ten years ago) link

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (ten years ago) link

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (ten years ago) link

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (ten years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (ten years ago) link

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (ten years ago) link

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (ten years ago) link

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (ten years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (ten years ago) link

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (ten years ago) link

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (ten years ago) link

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (ten years ago) link

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (ten years ago) link

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (ten years ago) link

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (ten years ago) link

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (ten years ago) link

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (ten years ago) link

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (ten years ago) link

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (ten years ago) link

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (ten years ago) link

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (ten years ago) link

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (ten years ago) link

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (ten years ago) link

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:41 (ten years ago) link

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (ten years ago) link

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (ten years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (ten years ago) link

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (ten years ago) link

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (ten years ago) link

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (ten years ago) link

I just remembered that Tesco already sell these:
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Bsqdb5SIUAAdsOl.png
...also available in Smoky Bacon and Turkey & Stuffing flavours.

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 4 January 2020 18:21 (two weeks ago) link

dear lord
pretty sure I had a curry ish version of this in Tokyo once. Not what I was expecting.

kinder, Saturday, 4 January 2020 20:41 (two weeks ago) link

every time you post, you get a pop-up that asks if you want to be entered into a random sweepstakes. you can say "no", but if you say yes, you're entered into a monthly contest, and the main prize is that you gain the ability to create a new secret board. There are also 'whammy' gifts like having your nickname changed to Becky Lucas for a month, having all of your posts converted to WingDings, have a chemical truck ran through your house....

papa stank (Neanderthal), Saturday, 4 January 2020 21:16 (two weeks ago) link

A sitcom set in an abattoir. The workers go through typical sitcom storylines while industrial massacre takes place around them.

Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Monday, 6 January 2020 11:30 (two weeks ago) link

A mandatory set of glove-like grips on all steering wheels into which you must slip the fingers of at least one hand while driving on an interstate. An attendant monitoring system allows you to tap your brake a total of...let's say three times before the precision blades inside the steering wheel engage and the fingers start coming off. Perhaps the grips can be modified to respond to a variety of dickhole automotive moves but this is all they're programmed for atm.

(NB: I only think this idea is terrible because of the mutilation involved. And even so I don't actually think it's all that terrible.)

Drive Like a Demon From Steakhouse to Steakhouse (Old Lunch), Monday, 6 January 2020 13:04 (two weeks ago) link

xxxp I can confirm that Kanazawa is the home of the curry doughnut. I lacked the courage alas.

an incoherent crustacean (MatthewK), Monday, 6 January 2020 13:29 (two weeks ago) link

Litterbox’d, a site where users only review the movie version of Cats

Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Tuesday, 7 January 2020 15:48 (two weeks ago) link

Elaborately planned public divorce paper service videos.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 16:31 (one week ago) link

(Ie in the style of proposal videos)

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 16:32 (one week ago) link

divorce reveal parties. everyone gathers around a cake to see if you are getting a divorce or not.

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:39 (one week ago) link

So dinner parties then

papa stank (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:43 (one week ago) link

yes, but with cake color correlation

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:44 (one week ago) link

or maybe there's just raw hamburger meat inside if the thing is happening

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:46 (one week ago) link

no, the cake is always filled with beef. you modulate the fat content of the beef to indicate divorce. 90/10 means "the beef is lean in this marriage. things are going well." 80/20 means "there's fat beef between us rn, and we are divorcing."

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:51 (one week ago) link

lol

Maybe if no divorce it's an actual cake, if yes divorce it's just that ugly goddamn sweater your awful mother bought for me, wadded up and slathered in icing.

Pizza is Really Yummy for Me (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:52 (one week ago) link

you'd have to weigh a clump of the meat and render the fat in a george foreman grill to weigh out the answer from the drip pan, which would add to the suspense.

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:54 (one week ago) link

lol Neanderthal, that is too real

But guess what? Nobody gives a toot!😂 (Karl Malone), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:55 (one week ago) link

How about just a gender reveal party where you reveal that you're actually getting divorced. And of course you have to do it like on a boat or something where people just have to sit and be deeply uncomfortable for another 4-6 hours.

Pizza is Really Yummy for Me (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:55 (one week ago) link

And of course you are actually still bringing a child into a soon to be broken home, and you just kinda offhandedly mention the baby's gender at some point in hour three.

Pizza is Really Yummy for Me (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 17:57 (one week ago) link

at m night shyamalan's gender reveal party, the color of the cake is a red herring. he reveals to guests that it was the boat color all along that revealed the baby's gender. (he shouts this to leaving guests through sobs, as he's also just been divorced).

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 18:02 (one week ago) link

also, the boat captain is satan and the baby is immortal

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Tuesday, 14 January 2020 18:05 (one week ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CU2vGvRXAAI5b9d.jpg

kinder, Tuesday, 14 January 2020 21:08 (one week ago) link

Handedness reveal parties

Yeets don't fail me now (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 11:48 (one week ago) link

Done in the form of a punch to the face

papa stank (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 14:05 (one week ago) link

A rig where your dental hygienist wears a small point of view camera while working on you and you wear VR goggles so that you can see what she sees while it’s happening to you.

Swilling Ambergris, Esq. (silby), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 15:34 (one week ago) link

I would pass out

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 15:36 (one week ago) link

yeah no, the inside of my mouth is basically a biological weapons facility at this point, no need to see it ucap

papa stank (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 15:38 (one week ago) link

Have seen that but instead the dentist it was a surgeon and instead of my mouth it was my arsehole. Would recommend

calumerio, Wednesday, 15 January 2020 15:42 (one week ago) link

https://i.imgur.com/iO92Xun.gif

pplains, Wednesday, 15 January 2020 17:06 (one week ago) link

a new game called "Storytellers". One player picks a card, which has an occupation printed on it. That player must say 3 descriptive sentences about that occupation that are definitely true, but are vague enough that it's difficult to tell what exactly the occupation is. The fourth sentence is always "So really, I guess you could say that I'm a storyteller." If someone guesses the occupation correctly, they get a point. If nobody guesses correctly, the storyteller gets the point. The first to five points wins, and so really, I guess you could say that they're a storyteller.

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 18:01 (one week ago) link

a player at 4 points, i.e. close to winning, is said to be "in the garage." when a player wins, they press a button on a little plastic speaker attached to the plastic cards receptacle and some generic blues guitar riffs play for 30 seconds.

if you're in the thread, keep on posting (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 15 January 2020 18:11 (one week ago) link

this seems like it would be a basically acceptable/popular party game tbh

Doctor Casino, Wednesday, 15 January 2020 19:54 (one week ago) link

Okay so I just got a Bosch dishwasher and I think it would be fun if every time I opened it, there were a different hellish scene of ridiculously willowy demons, some with six faces, some with trumpets in their butts, and some that are chewing on each other.

Ad campaign: with a Hieronymus Bosch dishwasher, you never know what you'll see.

Yeets don't fail me now (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 16 January 2020 02:56 (one week ago) link

Get outta here with that brilliant idea, terrible ideas only. To wit, I have piles of laundry to do and a laundry room that's too far away. My eyes wander over to the dishwasher... but no, surely that's mad! Yet my gaze still lingers.

cat, Thursday, 16 January 2020 04:11 (one week ago) link

A Penthouse Forum-esque magazine filled cover to steamy cover with forbidden tales of willful HIPAA violations.

Dr. Teeth and the Women (Old Lunch), Thursday, 23 January 2020 00:27 (yesterday) link

If you don't wash your hands after a slash and are caught, you have to get I AM A DISGUSTING TWAT tattooed on your butt

Rhoda from Steubenville (Neanderthal), Thursday, 23 January 2020 02:18 (yesterday) link

This is a vintage terrible idea, but my memory was jogged after seeing a Grunt Style shirt yesterday. When I was a teenager in the early 1990s, I got the idea to start a political t-shirt company. I was inspired by Michael Stipe wearing all those different t-shirts at the MTV awards.

https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/3gaOVVxTQuo98XVvi0v_FA--~A/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9NjAwO2g9MzY1O2lsPXBsYW5l/https://67.media.tumblr.com/a694840f2e260e19ad0f658840a446c4/tumblr_inline_ocfe4ox6os1tdqyd7_1280.jpg

I felt like these were a step in the right direction, but I wanted to see something that captured my anger more (I can't remember any of my proposed slogans, thank god) and with graphics that were more stylized, like skateboard shirts. So the name of my company was going to be Bold Statements Wear, with the logo being a "B.S." on the sleeve.

☮️ (peace, man), Thursday, 23 January 2020 15:40 (yesterday) link

RAINFOREST

pplains, Thursday, 23 January 2020 15:44 (yesterday) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMbYPDAaIA0

☮️ (peace, man), Thursday, 23 January 2020 15:51 (yesterday) link

xp: see, Bold Statements Wear would have probably upgraded that SAVE THE FUCKING RAINFOREST

☮️ (peace, man), Thursday, 23 January 2020 15:53 (yesterday) link

nah, man. he's raising awareness of the rainforest. prior to that shirt, I was unaware of the existence of rainforest.

i've seen no good people (Neanderthal), Thursday, 23 January 2020 16:01 (yesterday) link

we can destroy it all we want now that we know it exists

i've seen no good people (Neanderthal), Thursday, 23 January 2020 16:01 (yesterday) link

I want a line of t-shirts like that but it's more confident in its approach. all nouns, but followed with periods.

RAINFOREST.

babu frik fan account (mh), Thursday, 23 January 2020 16:03 (yesterday) link

But the text must be positioned such that it's still visible when the wearer is defiantly crossing their arms as if they were in the opening credits of a reality competition show.

Dr. Teeth and the Women (Old Lunch), Thursday, 23 January 2020 16:07 (yesterday) link

would play storytellers

Litterbox’d, a site where users only review the movie version of Cats

― Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Tuesday, 7 January 2020 15:48 (two weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

genius

Catherine, Boner of JP Sweeney & Co (darraghmac), Thursday, 23 January 2020 23:39 (yesterday) link

A Quantum Leap-esque series wherein the protagonist is tasked with making things super awkward for entertainers of the past by confronting them with their discordant future works. Like going to the Haight during a Jefferson Airplane gig and playing 'Hearts' for all assembled, that sort of thing.

Dr. Teeth and the Women (Old Lunch), Friday, 24 January 2020 13:14 (four hours ago) link

'Mmm, those vocals are so smooth, Marty!'

Dr. Teeth and the Women (Old Lunch), Friday, 24 January 2020 13:15 (four hours ago) link

"I guess we really DID build this city on rock and roll."

Okay, you're an ambulance (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, 24 January 2020 14:37 (two hours ago) link


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