your terrible ideas

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1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (twelve years ago) link

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (twelve years ago) link

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (twelve years ago) link

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (twelve years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (twelve years ago) link

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (twelve years ago) link

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (twelve years ago) link

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (twelve years ago) link

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (twelve years ago) link

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (twelve years ago) link

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (twelve years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (twelve years ago) link

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (twelve years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (twelve years ago) link

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (twelve years ago) link

rong

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (twelve years ago) link

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (twelve years ago) link

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (twelve years ago) link

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (twelve years ago) link

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (twelve years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (twelve years ago) link

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (twelve years ago) link

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (twelve years ago) link

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (twelve years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (twelve years ago) link

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (twelve years ago) link

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (twelve years ago) link

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (twelve years ago) link

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (twelve years ago) link

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (twelve years ago) link

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (twelve years ago) link

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (twelve years ago) link

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (twelve years ago) link

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (twelve years ago) link

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (twelve years ago) link

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (twelve years ago) link

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (twelve years ago) link

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (twelve years ago) link

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (twelve years ago) link

http://regretfulmorning.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/dunk-hunt-tramp-stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:40 (twelve years ago) link

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:41 (twelve years ago) link

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (twelve years ago) link

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (twelve years ago) link

http://rlv.zcache.com/tramp_stamp_inspector_mug-p168228570079141682qzje_400.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:44 (twelve years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (twelve years ago) link

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (twelve years ago) link

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (twelve years ago) link

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (twelve years ago) link

airhorn is key

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 2 September 2021 16:40 (one month ago) link

> Relicking, but for cars

like ratrods?

http://cdn.animalhi.com/3008x2000/20121027/cars%20pontiac%20rusted%20rat%20rod%203008x2000%20wallpaper_www.animalhi.com_84.jpg

(not embedded because HUGE)

koogs, Thursday, 2 September 2021 17:00 (one month ago) link

I know that you can buy decals of bullet holes and key scratches to temporarily make a nice car look like a beater, so as (presumably) to avoid being a tempting target for vandals. Or to make yourself look like a badass.

Robert Cray-Cray (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 2 September 2021 18:41 (one month ago) link

She She Top: Annie Clark and a female Texan rhythm section covering Tres Hombres.

Tres mujeres as "Easy Top"
https://www.facebook.com/easytoppp

https://i.imgur.com/N0Y6oSO.jpg

pplains, Thursday, 2 September 2021 18:48 (one month ago) link

I had that idea but it was called XX Top

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 2 September 2021 18:55 (one month ago) link

There go my dreams of a Canadian tribute band called Zed Zed Top

Robert Cray-Cray (Ye Mad Puffin), Thursday, 2 September 2021 19:04 (one month ago) link

All-female Weird Al tribute called Weird Aly Yankochick

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 2 September 2021 19:09 (one month ago) link

That's a more terrible idea.

Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 2 September 2021 19:57 (one month ago) link

three weeks pass...

dress made of injera

certified juice therapist (harbl), Monday, 27 September 2021 18:41 (three weeks ago) link

lol

typo hell #5: maybe you get an idea of what went into, or (Karl Malone), Monday, 27 September 2021 19:21 (three weeks ago) link

a new twist on yoko ono's classic Cut Piece

typo hell #5: maybe you get an idea of what went into, or (Karl Malone), Monday, 27 September 2021 19:22 (three weeks ago) link

Reviving the "another think coming" thread.

ledge, Wednesday, 29 September 2021 17:44 (three weeks ago) link

The vegan counterpart of Lady Gaga's meat dress?

Infanta Terrible (j.lu), Wednesday, 29 September 2021 17:52 (three weeks ago) link

salad merkin

Gardyloominati (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 29 September 2021 17:52 (three weeks ago) link

i always want to click the links you get in those weird gobbledygook spam text messages. so i think there should be kind of a walled garden website you can go to and paste it in to see what it says, without risking your computer

certified juice therapist (harbl), Monday, 11 October 2021 23:20 (one week ago) link

that's not a terrible idea!

Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Tuesday, 12 October 2021 01:41 (one week ago) link

well, i mean, there's nothing to be gained by clicking except entertainment but maybe that's enough

certified juice therapist (harbl), Tuesday, 12 October 2021 11:43 (one week ago) link

Go to the library, or a FedEx type place?

Extinct Namibian shrub genus: Var. (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 12 October 2021 11:51 (one week ago) link

run a virtual machine like VirtualBox or something

koogs, Tuesday, 12 October 2021 14:42 (one week ago) link

actually, sometimes i do wget the url and then view resulting source.

koogs, Tuesday, 12 October 2021 14:43 (one week ago) link

don't tell me my terrible idea already exists!

certified juice therapist (harbl), Tuesday, 12 October 2021 15:26 (one week ago) link

How about like spam-me.com, where we put you directly in touch with Nigerian princes so you no longer have to wait for your step-uncle to forward you an email chain filled with mystery attachments? By inputting as much personal information into our patented database as humanly possible, we guarantee that your identity absolutely will be stolen within 24 hours.

Shit, given the state of the world these days, you'd probably have a million new sign-ups within the first 24 hours.

Donald Fhtagen (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 12 October 2021 15:33 (one week ago) link

everybody should be offered free, subsidized kung-fu lessons, and there should be nationally sponsored kung fu tournaments that you can enter to win a million dollars.

Gardyloominati (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 12 October 2021 22:44 (one week ago) link

Do you mean kung fu like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJYoAS76gag

Or like this?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y0wsMoZwdx8

JRN, Tuesday, 12 October 2021 23:03 (one week ago) link

both! the more tournaments teh better, encourage all styles

Gardyloominati (Neanderthal), Tuesday, 12 October 2021 23:05 (one week ago) link

A reboot of 2001 that is done in the style of a circa 2001 comedic action thriller and starring Will Smith. The entire purpose of this in my mind is as a vehicle for Will Smith to deliver the line “Aw HAL nah!”

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 13 October 2021 04:30 (one week ago) link

Reminds of the gag script someone wrote where Dave and Frank speak in actual 2001 slang: "Dave, HAL's been acting real sketch lately..."

pplains, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 12:37 (one week ago) link

spacewalk scene presumably soundtracked by All Star

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 14:31 (one week ago) link

i am loving this terrible idea, merging man alive's irl lol with the script pplains referenced

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 14:32 (one week ago) link

spacewalk scene presumably soundtracked by All Star

― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, October 13, 2021 9:31 AM (twenty-nine minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

Walking on the Sun, surely?

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 13 October 2021 15:01 (one week ago) link

might as well

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 15:20 (one week ago) link

FOUND IT.

I'm rewriting the dialogue in 2001: A Space Odyssey to more accurately reflect the period it's set in pic.twitter.com/ChAdhtgTQf

— Brooks Otterlake (@i_zzzzzz) April 25, 2016

pplains, Wednesday, 13 October 2021 21:10 (one week ago) link

"You're toast, monolith!"

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Wednesday, 13 October 2021 22:13 (one week ago) link

Mike Myers as Michael Myers

koogs, Friday, 15 October 2021 10:45 (one week ago) link

Yes but instead of putting him in a mask they use horrifying Cat in the Hat-esque prosthetics to make Mike Myers' actual face look like a bleached Captain Kirk.

Donald Fhtagen (Old Lunch), Friday, 15 October 2021 14:27 (one week ago) link

for the next series of Drag Race UK, one of the judges should be an old homophobic Mary Whitehouse type who is shocked and appalled by everything but is also fascinated and unable to look away.

edited to reflect developments which occurred (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 16 October 2021 23:06 (six days ago) link

a movie where all the interesting stuff happens in the distant background of scenes rather than the people acting in the foreground - which could in itself be a completely different storyline.

Chicks and Ducks and Geese better scurry (Ste), Thursday, 21 October 2021 13:36 (yesterday) link

the star wars prequels already exist tho

I Am Fribbulus (Xax) (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 21 October 2021 13:48 (yesterday) link

oof

Chicks and Ducks and Geese better scurry (Ste), Thursday, 21 October 2021 13:56 (yesterday) link

a movie where all the interesting stuff happens in the distant background of scenes rather than the people acting in the foreground - which could in itself be a completely different storyline.

I'm pretty sure I posted about this somewhere on this board, but my idea for a Marvel movie was some domestic drama where occasionally you would see a television in the background with news reports of a huge superhero fight currently ongoing

silverfish, Thursday, 21 October 2021 14:02 (yesterday) link

A reboot of 2001 that is done in the style of a circa 2001 comedic action thriller and starring Will Smith. The entire purpose of this in my mind is as a vehicle for Will Smith to deliver the line “Aw HAL nah!”

― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, October 12, 2021 11:30 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

FWIW, I think this should happen as HAL tries to lock him out, and after delivering the line he kicks in the pod bay doors and then hits HAL with a right cross, followed by a knee to the gut, and then an over the shoulder throw finishing off HAL. The plot of the movie is entirely changed and Will Smith returns home a hero, having unknowingly also foiled humanity's psychedelic rebirth or whatever the fuck happens at the end of that film.

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 21 October 2021 14:31 (yesterday) link

acceptable only if, on arrival back home, he is greeted by the President saying "Welcome to Earth."

I Am Fribbulus (Xax) (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 21 October 2021 15:01 (yesterday) link

Will Smith returns home a hero, having unknowingly also foiled humanity's psychedelic rebirth or whatever the fuck happens at the end of that film.

Hahaha.

"We came! We saw! We kicked that Starchild's ass..."

pplains, Thursday, 21 October 2021 15:04 (yesterday) link

Invent and market a meat-based tofu substitute. Call it either Fauxfu or Nofu.

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 21 October 2021 16:01 (yesterday) link

just a brick of fatback

John Lakeman gives pipe lecture (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 21 October 2021 16:16 (yesterday) link

An app that beams whatever message you type into Joe Rogan s head.

Whatever.... message

Gardyloominati (Neanderthal), Thursday, 21 October 2021 18:31 (yesterday) link

A sitcom where every single joke in every single episode is a laboured pun on the name of the same semi-obscure celebrity.
At the conclusion of the series, the celebrity appears as themselves in a dramatic "very special episode", where their fictional persona is revealed as a child molester.

Halfway there but for you, Thursday, 21 October 2021 23:07 (yesterday) link

lol

(a picture of a defecating pig) (Old Lunch), Thursday, 21 October 2021 23:41 (yesterday) link


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