your terrible ideas

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1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (ten years ago) link

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (ten years ago) link

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (ten years ago) link

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (ten years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (ten years ago) link

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (ten years ago) link

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (ten years ago) link

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (ten years ago) link

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (ten years ago) link

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (ten years ago) link

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (ten years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (ten years ago) link

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (ten years ago) link

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (ten years ago) link

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (ten years ago) link

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (nine years ago) link

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (nine years ago) link

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (nine years ago) link

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (nine years ago) link

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (nine years ago) link

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (nine years ago) link

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (nine years ago) link

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (nine years ago) link

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (nine years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (nine years ago) link

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (nine years ago) link

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (nine years ago) link

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (nine years ago) link

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (nine years ago) link

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (nine years ago) link

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (nine years ago) link

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (nine years ago) link

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (nine years ago) link

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (nine years ago) link

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (nine years ago) link

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (nine years ago) link

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (nine years ago) link

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (nine years ago) link

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (nine years ago) link

http://purefnevyl.files.wordpress.com/2007/11/corinthians_tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:41 (nine years ago) link

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (nine years ago) link

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (nine years ago) link

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (nine years ago) link

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (nine years ago) link

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (nine years ago) link

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (nine years ago) link

this thread is for terrible ideas

the late great, Sunday, 28 April 2019 16:57 (three months ago) link

the first two are gold

the late great, Sunday, 28 April 2019 16:58 (three months ago) link

I’ve sat on this for over a year. I haven’t posted it because it would only work in an emotionless world but here goes:

One of my terrible ideas is for non-traditional marriages to be called marrieges. The federal law would allow marrieges to behave exactly like marriages in every code/law of the land; the only difference (besides the spelling) is that marrieges wouldn’t claim any association with christianity, only a civil union and all that that entails.

It’s a dumb idea in that it caters to anti-gay-marriage Christians and would likely cause many gay people to feel separate but not equal and left out of Christianity. At the same time there is nothing actually stopping gay people from being Christians.... and if there ended up being no unintentional consequences from my terrible merriege idea, it could effectively shut up anti-gay-marriage Christians while providing a tongue-in-cheek way of letting gay people get married without having to hear anti-gay-marriage stuff in the news anymore (eventually).

I’m sure there are many more reasons why this is a terrible idea and I cringe thinking about the kind of feedback I’d get if I were to suggest this is anything but a terrible idea.

ilm jive mind (FlopsyDuck), Saturday, 4 May 2019 00:26 (three months ago) link

it's just a piece of peper

kinder, Saturday, 4 May 2019 08:47 (three months ago) link

Patar Pipar pickad a pack of picklad pappar

just another country (snoball), Saturday, 4 May 2019 09:19 (three months ago) link

A John Foxx era Ultravox tribute band that only play toy keyboards, called Yama!-Ha!-Ha!-Ha!

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 5 May 2019 13:38 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Retro futuristic storage units for less than £20 a month: Space £19.99

koogs, Monday, 20 May 2019 16:03 (three months ago) link

Ok I had this idea earlier for twitter but it belongs here

Concept: eating popcorn at the movies but instead of popcorn it’s a bucket of room temperature tortellini

— Evan (@silby) May 21, 2019

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 06:25 (three months ago) link

I assume you're talking about just scooping it out by the handful. I don't know if it's a worse idea with or without sauce. Hmm.

5 favrite kind of animal. jaguar. giraffe. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 12:01 (three months ago) link

this thread is for terrible ideas, what is this glittering gem of an idea doing here

michael keaton IS jim thirlwell IN ‘foetaljuice’ (bizarro gazzara), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 12:03 (three months ago) link

Honestly, I was just trying to be supportive of the effort. Sorry, silby, but you've failed this thread.

5 favrite kind of animal. jaguar. giraffe. (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 21 May 2019 12:12 (three months ago) link

gypsum caves. salt caves are old news. book some time in one of our many gypsum caves and reap all of the health benefits of gypsum. each gypsum cave is an empty room with drywall.

i got bag sauce in my bag (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 23 May 2019 23:15 (two months ago) link

you've been high but you've never been eating pasta with your hands outside of olive garden high

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Friday, 24 May 2019 15:27 (two months ago) link

trisha does not explicitly state that you shouldn't dump garth's tortellini breakfast bowl into your purse and take it to the movies

i got bag sauce in my bag (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 24 May 2019 16:41 (two months ago) link

A supergroup consisting of Jeff Beck; Beck Hansen; and Isaac, Taylor and Zac Hanson. Called, of course, Jeff Beck Hanson.

mitt the hoopla (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 25 May 2019 16:50 (two months ago) link

A political party called Leave Brexit.
Aims clear from the name. Any further elaboration would be flowery waffle for latte-sippers.

kinder, Monday, 27 May 2019 09:03 (two months ago) link

The ‘Love Trumps Hate’ sign is similarly ambiguous

i will never make a typo ever again (Karl Malone), Monday, 27 May 2019 14:24 (two months ago) link

Har Mar Superstar tribute act featuring a grandmother from Texas, called Yee Har Grand-mar.

just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 18:36 (two months ago) link

'bus radio' - basically the bus equivalent of in-store radio stations in supermarkets. The between-song banter could be relevant to travelling by bus, and there could even be shout-outs and dedications ("this next record is dedicated to the guy at the front with the skateboard - several other people on board think you're an obnoxious loud-mouthed tool").

just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 18:56 (two months ago) link

is it broadcast by someone at the back of each particular bus?

don't mock my smock or i'll clean your clock (silby), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 20:08 (two months ago) link

an a.i. jeff ross is dj of each bus

i got bag sauce in my bag (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 29 May 2019 20:11 (two months ago) link

Agile Ed Debevics. basically you hire our scrum masters to take over your Agile office. they are really mean to you in meetings, but they do coordinated dances between the cubes. plus milkshakes.

Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 30 May 2019 21:43 (two months ago) link

An LP of George Gershwin songs done in a breakcore/bassline style, called "Fascinating Riddim"

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, 30 May 2019 22:26 (two months ago) link

Convincing Force MDs to license their biggest hit for use in commercials for a popular dating app.

Fiat Earther (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 11 June 2019 12:15 (two months ago) link

one month passes...

To cash in on Lion King hype, open a SoCal restaurant specializing in an Italian egg-based dish: Laguna Frittata.

Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Thursday, 11 July 2019 05:04 (one month ago) link

Crank: The Musical

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 14 July 2019 17:28 (one month ago) link

Cigarette smoke scented vape liquid.

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 14 July 2019 17:28 (one month ago) link

I wish! Candy scented vape makes me miss cigarette smoke

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Sunday, 14 July 2019 17:38 (one month ago) link

There's someone on the bus to work who vapes, and they smoke up (puff up?) almost immediately after stepping off the bus, frequently resulting in me walking through a cloud of apple pie (including pastry scent) smoke. On the other hand, whenever I walk behind someone smoking an actual cigarette - despite never having smoked myself - I get nostalgic. Which seems weird - nostalgic for the days when everywhere that wasn't a workplace smelt of cigarette smoke?

just another country (snoball), Sunday, 14 July 2019 18:08 (one month ago) link

A Beach Boys tribute band, but all their songs are about LARPing instead of surfing, which is achieved mainly by replacing every instance of "surf" in the lyrics with "LARP".

just another country (snoball), Friday, 26 July 2019 20:37 (three weeks ago) link

From the early morning to the middle of the night
Any time the LARP is up the time is right
And when the LARP is down to take its place
We'll do the LARPer's stomp, it's the latest dance craze

Cecil replies to your e-mails (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 26 July 2019 20:40 (three weeks ago) link

The limitations of this project in no way diminish my feverish enthusiasm.

my but is not working it kept telling me device not found. (Old Lunch), Friday, 26 July 2019 21:28 (three weeks ago) link

https://youtu.be/G5e4UXm0jNY

The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Friday, 26 July 2019 22:21 (three weeks ago) link

Terrible late afternoon BBC1 quiz show ideas:

  • Will It Rain Or Not? Contestants are shown a photograph of some sky, and they score points by correctly guessing whether or not it was about to rain.
  • What Brand Of Laptop Is My Co-Host Using? Contestants score points by correctly guessing the brand of laptop that the show's co-host is using. The brand logo on the back is hidden underneath a label, so after the contestants have finished guessing, there's a nerve shredingly tense and overly drawn out bit where the co-host slowly peels off the label to reveal the logo.
  • Quiz Show Banter Quiz Show. A quiz show where the contestants score points by watching a clip from a previous show, and then correctly guessing what bit of host banter came next.
  • QuizzyBantz. An 'edgy' version of Quiz Show Banter Quiz Show, aimed at Millennials but patronisingly assuming that all Millenials are still 20 years old. Shown on the BBC Three YouTube channel.

just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 7 August 2019 12:18 (two weeks ago) link

haha
#2 hosted by Jo Brand and Russell Brand. With music from 90s band Laptop

kinder, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 12:24 (two weeks ago) link

Cigarette smoke scented vape liquid.

OK so a new vape shop opened in town - they also repair mobile phones, I guess to catch some of the business from the phone repair shop that also sells vape liquids - and they had an advertisement outside on their A frame for nicotine-free vape liquid. Which seems like a terrible and pointless idea. Unless there's some 420blazeit purpose for such a product that I don't know about?

just another country (snoball), Wednesday, 7 August 2019 12:32 (two weeks ago) link

In Australia nicotine containing vape liquid is illegal and yet the vape shop down the street still seems to do enough business to stay open.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Wednesday, 7 August 2019 12:43 (two weeks ago) link

Southern US version:

  • Did It Rain Or Not? Contestants are shown a photograph of their yard, and they score points by correctly guessing whether or not it rained last night.

pplains, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 13:28 (two weeks ago) link

Been workshopping some Bugs Bunny reactions lately. Latest one came to me in a dream.

Bugs is a rich paranoid smug SOB living in a penthouse. He's in his bedroom, watching his closed-circuit TVs. Most of the screens are just his family watching TV, maintenance guy taking out the garbage, etc. But on one of the screens, he sees a new maid. She's very beautiful!

Bugs has been wearing a half-lidded, mouth hung open expression this whole time as we've gone back and forth to the CCTV. But when he sees his new employee, his eyes spring wide open! Then, his pupils, roll back into the top of his head and come up from the inside of his ears. His ears fold halfway at a 90º angle, toward the CCTV. His pupils, synchronized, hop to the fulcrum of his ears and then zipline down the length of his ears to the tips, not just toward the CCTV screen, but also straight toward the viewer behind the fourth wall.

As the pupils fill the screen, the viewer sees that the pupils have pupils themselves, which have now turned into red throbbing hearts.

pplains, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 13:37 (two weeks ago) link

Here was what was waiting for me on my Samsung Notes this morning (transcribed by voice):

Bugs Bunny watching circuit closed circuit television his pupils leave his eyeballs go up inside of skiers and skiers turn towards the television at a 45 degree angle and when his pupils come out of his ears go up to the fulcrum of them they zip line down to the tips of his ears closer to the camera and POV closer to the viewer so you got a better look at the closed-circuit television

pplains, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 13:44 (two weeks ago) link

Oh, I like that one.

Spin-off: is this your nearest gas station? People are shown a photo of a gas station. They must try to figure out if it is a photo of their nearest gas station.

Karl Malone, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 13:47 (two weeks ago) link

Did It Rain Or Not? Contestants are shown a photograph of their yard, and they score points by correctly guessing whether or not it rained last night.
― pplains, Wednesday, August 7, 2019 6:28 AM (one hour ago

i feel like i grew up watching this show? Except the contestants were my parents ....

sarahell, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 15:18 (two weeks ago) link

plains do your kids know this about you yet

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, 7 August 2019 16:23 (two weeks ago) link

The yard thing or the Bugs Bunny thing?

Because no.

pplains, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 16:24 (two weeks ago) link

<3

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Wednesday, 7 August 2019 16:28 (two weeks ago) link

lmao the fucking bugs bunny thing, i like that you spend your time thinking such thoughts plains

boobie, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 17:53 (two weeks ago) link

thanks, boobie.

pplains, Wednesday, 7 August 2019 19:12 (two weeks ago) link

crowdsourced positive train control

president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Friday, 16 August 2019 22:41 (six days ago) link


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