your terrible ideas

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1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:07 (nine years ago) Permalink

2. I'll move to San Francisco
3. Make a monster costume out of a dirty shag rug
4. Mobile DJ at English pub in a town an hour away using a PA I've never used

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 06:25 (nine years ago) Permalink

5. date down

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

6. date

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:10 (nine years ago) Permalink

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

8. a book about combat rock compared/contrasted with the 1982 worlds fair

carpathian florist (roxymuzak), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:38 (nine years ago) Permalink

9. (another music one, but that's what I save most of my truly bad ideas for) An album made entirely using samples from Lou Reed's "Metal Machine Music" and Presley's "Having Fun With Elvis On Stage" (because they are supposedly the worst two albums ever made - my theory being that I could make an even worse-er album by combining them).

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:44 (nine years ago) Permalink

10. putting chilli sauce on vanilla ice cream - one mouthful was enough to cause projectile vomiting.

snoball, Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

11. marinara sauce and peanut butter

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 08:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

12. Going back to school.

Turkoglu & Love Affair (Clay), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

nah, that's a great idea.

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 09:55 (nine years ago) Permalink

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

bamcquern, Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

14. A pop group exclusively made up of 2 year olds called Diaper Rash.

real men love cheeses (latebloomer), Saturday, 4 July 2009 16:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

13. Starting the thread "What does 'rockist' mean?"

― bamcquern, Saturday, July 4, 2009 11:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

if your original post was a gigantic picture of goatse with an embedded sound clip of, i dunno, somebody having explosive diarrhea or something, then it'd be a pretty great idea

what a delightfully quirky new voice! (bug), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:28 (nine years ago) Permalink

15. deciding you wanna ride a goddamn ferris wheel

i yelled "BIG HOOS" but i was yelling at my steen (BIG HOOS aka the steendriver), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:40 (nine years ago) Permalink

16. 1p3

a poppy seed NAGL (J0rdan S.), Saturday, 4 July 2009 17:46 (nine years ago) Permalink

two months pass...

17. Sell white rice dyed brown to exploit gullible newcomers to the health food world (long time health food consumers would probably see right through the scam.) The brand would be called "Rice that is Brown" rather than "So-and-So brown rice" and list the ingredients in super timy print.

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

eh..tiny print

latebloomer, Friday, 11 September 2009 02:30 (nine years ago) Permalink

haha the next step would be "Rice that is Multiethnic" and it would just be bag of Fruity Pebbles.

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Friday, 11 September 2009 02:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

would that actually like... save you any money?

mountain G.O.A.T. (s1ocki), Friday, 11 September 2009 03:32 (nine years ago) Permalink

slocki you don't get it--IT'S A TERRIBLE IDEA!

ian, Friday, 11 September 2009 06:36 (nine years ago) Permalink

1. An adaptation of Blood Meridian scored by Def Leppard

7. An adaption of The Mikado done entirely using mobile ringtones.

18. an adaptation of Do You Remember Love?/Macross for the musical theater/broadway stage.

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

maybe less terrible and more so not gonna happen why bc i am lazy

tehresa, Friday, 11 September 2009 07:08 (nine years ago) Permalink

im dying over rice that is brown

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

19. Putting a book of my poetry out
20. Taking up a drug habit on the back of the highly unlikely profits from this anthology of work (any suggestions for the drugs?)

Don't Be A Ned Raggett (King Boy Pato), Monday, 14 September 2009 12:09 (nine years ago) Permalink

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Monday, 14 September 2009 16:59 (nine years ago) Permalink

21. Combination mezzuzah and bottle opener, so you're never at a loss with a cold beer in your hand.

that stupid-ass cannibal pen-pal of yours (Laurel), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:03 (nine years ago) Permalink

(xxpost) not my terrible idea, but someone once suggested to me, in all seriousness, that I become a smack head in order to guarantee that I could continue to claim benefits.

a gift from your mind in the form of the perfect beat (snoball), Monday, 14 September 2009 17:04 (nine years ago) Permalink

patoetry plzzz

jergins, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:06 (nine years ago) Permalink

art project involving tramp stamps, semen and polaroid camera.

ian, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:31 (nine years ago) Permalink

A Terrible Plan!

velko, Monday, 14 September 2009 17:35 (nine years ago) Permalink

tramp stamps on actual tramps

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

like, hoboes

fountain bleaut (s1ocki), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:15 (nine years ago) Permalink

i thought it would be great an edgy brooklyn gallery! you know, like, transgressive sexuality & the mainstream appeal of defacing the body. or something.

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:19 (nine years ago) Permalink

you have to go for that obsessive all-over-composition style in the installation ... also you need typewritten descriptions of the context for each photo

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:22 (nine years ago) Permalink

make the stamp say something edgy like "FEMINISM" or "ART" or something

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:23 (nine years ago) Permalink

the images will be titled with the content of the stamp.

for example:
daisies no. 2
chinese character nos. 1-3

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:29 (nine years ago) Permalink

maybe you can install them onto a traced map of your city, with push pins, and place them in the locations where the people live or were photographed, and it could be a commentary on gentrification or routes travelled.

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:33 (nine years ago) Permalink

I'm trying to combine all the edgy art trends I can think of ...

Suggest Bander-Meinhof Complex (sarahel), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

^feelin this

ROCK BAND: BORBETOMAGUS (haitch), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:37 (nine years ago) Permalink

http://www.thesicness.com/pics/march09/03072009/tramp_stamp.jpg

ian, Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:42 (nine years ago) Permalink

I think a pretty funny tramp stamp would be a second asshole

we like cars, we like cartoons (dyao), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 04:43 (nine years ago) Permalink

idk I've actually been pretty impressed with yr writing. Honestly.

u drunk

a light salad of Adorno, Heidegger, Derrida and Esteban Buttez (King Boy Pato), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 13:53 (nine years ago) Permalink

Nope and I still stand by that statement.

\(^o\) (/o^)/ (ENBB), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 14:05 (nine years ago) Permalink

"dunk hunt"

Angus Young (roxymuzak), Tuesday, 15 September 2009 17:34 (nine years ago) Permalink

one month passes...

20-something. momus hosts a cooking show called "cumin in a girl's mouth"

chemical ali v. chemical frazier (m bison), Friday, 16 October 2009 19:56 (nine years ago) Permalink

An 'I love Quakers' board where nobody posts anything except occasionally when the spirit finds them

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Friday, 21 September 2018 19:37 (two months ago) Permalink

Ubertow. A towing company that's also a car service. Like, you'd tow cars, but you'd let people ride in the cars you're towing, instead of leaving them empty.

― I've moped on a moped and cooed with a coed (Ye Mad Puffin), Friday, September 21, 2018 10:24 AM (two days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

This is a good terrible idea because you'd basically have to wait until both your location and your destination were somewhere in the path of a tow truck's trip between the scene of an accident and a garage or between an illegally parked car and a tow yard.

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Sunday, 23 September 2018 22:14 (two months ago) Permalink

Homonym: a service for people with dark pasts and unique government names. if you're the only Neil Chumberton in the world and the first google hit for your name is your 2003 arrest for cocaine possession, Homonym will hire a bunch of people to change their names to Neil Chumberton and go on crime sprees. eventually your offense will be overshadowed by a slew of murders and robberies and racist tweets perpetrated by Neil Chumbertons who obviously have nothing to do with you.

on the other hand, if your archenemy is a man named Viborg Willisau who got a lot of publicity for saving a family of five from a fire, Homonym can hire people to save the whales and cure cancer and reverse climate change under his government name, overshadowing his good deed in the same fashion.

Homonym's rates will vary depending upon the number people hired and the severity of the deeds committed. getting 100 Neil Chumbertons to blow up 100 courthouses might cost you a few billion dollars, whereas getting 5 Neil Chumbertons to write 5 TERF screeds on medium.com might only cost you a few thousand.

ilxor-com-dog-meat-drawer-7-840-x-600.jpg (unregistered), Tuesday, 25 September 2018 15:38 (two months ago) Permalink

Would definitely use. I'd hire someone to do shitty things in the name of my archenemy so I could truthfully write about them at length on the internet.
The second use doesn't make sense though, Viborg would just look more awesome?

kinder, Tuesday, 25 September 2018 20:19 (two months ago) Permalink

I had a dream the other night about a Roku-esque device dedicated exclusively to tailor-made boilerplate middle-age 'comedy' movies. It had little ports where you insert cartridges for which actors, plots, holidays, etc. you want featured in your movie of choice. As far as I could tell, 'Diane Keaton' was a default setting that you couldn't turn off (but the target market didn't seem to mind). So now I'm wondering if it's too late for me to get to the patent office today.

Mummenschanz in a Metal Mood (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 25 September 2018 21:00 (two months ago) Permalink

18-years-too-late Metallica/Napster parody called “Cease and Desist” (based on “Seek and Destroy”)

latebloomer, Saturday, 29 September 2018 15:04 (two months ago) Permalink

A cooking show (like Chopped, Top Chef, etc.) But with Crock-Pots.

"Okay, you only have seven hours. Clock starts NOW!"

And it's filmed and broadcast in real time, like one of those Warhol movies that's just five reels of someone sleeping.

Romantic koolmoedee (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 30 September 2018 12:34 (two months ago) Permalink

Would produce

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Sunday, 30 September 2018 13:27 (two months ago) Permalink

I'm kind of picturing it being seven hours of "tension" shots, like closeups on people's intense faces/eyes, going back and forth between judges and contestants, etc.

Fedora Dostoyevsky (man alive), Sunday, 30 September 2018 13:27 (two months ago) Permalink

"Clock is ticking, people! Just two and a half more hours!"

I am torn about using some of the cooking time would for human-interest background montages and motivational trash-talk.

"I'm from Brooklyn, so my stews keep it REAL."

"I'm not here to make friends - I'm here to bring serious Tuscan-style braises."

"My garlicky boeuf-en-daube is gonna wow the judges, because my secret ingredient is pizzazz."

"The other cheftestants better watch their backs, because me and my cumin are comin'... for YOU."

Romantic koolmoedee (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 30 September 2018 16:55 (two months ago) Permalink

"Sorry, Timothy. You've been CROCKED. Pack your ladles and go."

Romantic koolmoedee (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 30 September 2018 16:57 (two months ago) Permalink

Do it with glass-topped slow cookers, use overhead cams and split screen so you can see all of the dishes in progress, and just make it like Norwegian Slow TV. Every time a competitor comes over to open up and stir it’ll be like WHOA LOOK IT’S A DIFFERENT SHADE OF BROWN

El Tomboto, Sunday, 30 September 2018 19:04 (two months ago) Permalink

back it with some kinda acoustic pickin shit that’s all in different meters playing off each other like if Steve Reich had a folk period

El Tomboto, Sunday, 30 September 2018 19:09 (two months ago) Permalink

Macrozoom shot of the steamy lid

Karl Malone, Sunday, 30 September 2018 19:38 (two months ago) Permalink

Overnight, the channel is all about marinades.

Romantic koolmoedee (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 30 September 2018 20:53 (two months ago) Permalink

The spinoff that gets canceled halfway through the season - scrubbing a crockpot: live

Karl Malone, Sunday, 30 September 2018 21:06 (two months ago) Permalink

also, in addition to the marinating show, the channel is also all about making your own seasoning powders starting from raw seeds

El Tomboto, Sunday, 30 September 2018 21:21 (two months ago) Permalink

what was that old NPR late night / early morning show that was all about ambient and new age synthesizer shit? dig all that up. I would love this channel

El Tomboto, Sunday, 30 September 2018 21:23 (two months ago) Permalink

Overnight, the channel is all about marinades.

heehee

kinder, Sunday, 30 September 2018 22:07 (two months ago) Permalink

yeah

Also. This isn't a terrible idea. I've seen worse. There were neckbeard guys racing drones on a sports channel earlier. I didn't know that was a thing.

kraudive, Sunday, 30 September 2018 22:14 (two months ago) Permalink

I've been in bed and wondered how my marinade looked.

kraudive, Sunday, 30 September 2018 22:15 (two months ago) Permalink

what channel were the drone races on.

pplains, Sunday, 30 September 2018 23:32 (two months ago) Permalink

One of the Sky Sports channels

kraudive, Monday, 1 October 2018 08:24 (two months ago) Permalink

i've seen it on a freeview channel, the very bottom one, which was called something like transworld sport. i even set a series pass for it but ended up with the same episode repeated about 10 times...

ah, might've been this, https://www.freesports.tv/ click on wednesday...

koogs, Monday, 1 October 2018 09:05 (two months ago) Permalink

which is also the place to go for all your Polish speedway needs

koogs, Monday, 1 October 2018 09:07 (two months ago) Permalink

ended up with the same episode repeated about 10 times...

Works for me.

pplains, Monday, 1 October 2018 18:22 (two months ago) Permalink

Sleeping cook wakes, goes straight to pot, adds a pinch of salt, goes back to sleep again.

Leaghaidh am brón an t-anam bochd (dowd), Monday, 1 October 2018 18:48 (two months ago) Permalink

(i've set the pvr for the drone racing and the polish speedway)

there's another freeview channel, 273 Sports Channel Network, which is a pay channel for connected tvs only (ie not mine) and that's showing about 6 hours of something called 'Drone GP' between 10pm and 6am tonight.

big on sky too apparently - https://www.skysports.com/more-sports/other-sports/news/35625/11489542/drone-racing-on-sky-sports

koogs, Monday, 1 October 2018 19:30 (two months ago) Permalink

I was going to point out that Charles Aznavour's middle name it quite peculiar but this isn't the time (and the R.I.P. thread isn't the place)

(Shahnour Vaghinag Aznavourian)

StanM, Monday, 1 October 2018 19:37 (two months ago) Permalink

(it -> is)

StanM, Monday, 1 October 2018 19:37 (two months ago) Permalink

An anti dating website for couples that lets you each build a profile and then tells you how compatible you are.

Toss another shrimpl air on the bbqbbq (ledge), Saturday, 13 October 2018 10:19 (two months ago) Permalink

Persuade Grimes or Radiohead to name their next LP "Classic or Dud"

mfktz (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 13 October 2018 20:24 (two months ago) Permalink

a song about being an iPhone called "I Refuse To Stop Being Just A Telephone"
it has some really catchy hooks in my head, though

El Tomboto, Saturday, 13 October 2018 20:34 (two months ago) Permalink

Compilation project wherein a bunch of noise or skronky type artists are commissioned to do abrasive versions of trad.arr. standards, entitled we tortured some folk

coetzee.cx (wins), Saturday, 20 October 2018 16:19 (one month ago) Permalink

https://i.gifer.com/Aqvz.gif

Extra Shprankles (Old Lunch), Saturday, 20 October 2018 16:28 (one month ago) Permalink

A cake baker who makes slightly amateurish cakes... so you can pretend you made it yourself when you present it to someone.

This is a very expandable business in fact – I would regularly give cash to an all-rounder who could make things to my specifications that were good but not too good and which I could pass off as my own.

Eyeball Kicks, Monday, 29 October 2018 01:57 (one month ago) Permalink

two weeks pass...

manual syntax highlighting

I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Tuesday, 13 November 2018 21:49 (one month ago) Permalink

hnng

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 14 November 2018 22:09 (one month ago) Permalink

exorcism based fad diet

for i, sock in enumerate (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 16 November 2018 03:18 (one month ago) Permalink

You know those reaction videos on youtube? ‘I listen to _____ for the first time’. ‘Try not to laugh’ or ‘try not to smile challenge’. I could do those daily and be an emotionless blank face...

And I dont know if I’ve already mentioned it upthread but I always wanted to do a ‘teens react to getting punched in the face’ video. Like the old videos where young teens are shown one at a time testing out a VHS player or Apple II computer. Or watching Duck Tales for the first time.

“Do you know what this is?”
“Its a clenched fist”
“Do you know what people do with it?”
“They punch little shits in the face”

He said captain, I said wot (FlopsyDuck), Saturday, 17 November 2018 01:35 (one month ago) Permalink

The Purge: Black Friday

naus, Friday, 23 November 2018 23:55 (three weeks ago) Permalink

“Home Alone” but with a fantasy theme and the lead character is a dwarf.

“This is our treasure hold. I will defend it with my life.”

Cue all the awesome prebuilt dwarf traps and rated R brutality.

He said captain, I said wot (FlopsyDuck), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 13:15 (two weeks ago) Permalink

This is a thread for terrible ideas

I have measured out my life in coffee shop loyalty cards (silby), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 14:50 (two weeks ago) Permalink

posting

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:17 (two weeks ago) Permalink

otm

the late great, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:22 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i mean me posting, not you

the late great, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:23 (two weeks ago) Permalink

McDonald's should sell empty happy meal boxes, nugget boxes, etc. To parents of young picky eaters.

So you could make, like, healthy home-cooked food and put the food into the McD's packaging, and then the kids would eat it.

Brian Oenophile (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 22:23 (two weeks ago) Permalink

would also tell you how dumb your kid is

Death comes sweeping through the hallway. Thank you, Death. (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 28 November 2018 23:01 (two weeks ago) Permalink

i mean me posting, not you

― the late great, Wednesday, November 28, 2018 10:23 PM (thirty-eight minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

any of us tbh

BIG HOOS aka the steendriver, Wednesday, 28 November 2018 23:02 (two weeks ago) Permalink


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