no boys allowed in the room!!!!

I DID read, guh.

Data point: I def fell into the heavy substance user category for my 20s plus a few years on either side and I'm 37 and just starting to get enough gray hairs to make it worth my while to color. And it's prob not as noticeable as I think it is.

I always wanted to be the kind of woman who refuse to dye her gray hair but I'm going gray in this washed out, sad way and I guess I am more vain than I realized.

i've not been a heavy substance abuser and i'm getting a lot of white hairs in my 20s (can't really call it going grey yet) - apparently my grandmother was fully white-headed by her mid-thirties so i've been assuming i have that to look forward to. But it did start when i was emotionally pretty stressed. I'm hoping that if I can keep calm and restrict the stress to small bursts i'll end up with just one white streak rather than depressing salt-and-pepper. (my mother had white streaks like highlights when i was a kid)

i don't have any grey hairs, but every rare once in a while a lone white one appears. i wonder what will happen re: that one day - maybe i will be one of those older ladies who tint their white hair platinum blonde! rad. but yeah my natural quite dark hair colour has dulled out a bit in the past couple of years, plus the summer further dulls it. plus colour is kinda fun! going to go a warm brown-red (as prescribed by 'the good hairstylist' who has been out of town for two months) :)

for all my whare i go meet nice mans, i ended up having a really nice time hanging with newish guy friend yesterday. we have an affinity. not letting it make me nervous, not jumping any guns...

My mother went gray early––she had visible grays starting in her 20s, and was completely gray by 40. She was a pretty, steely gray then. Now her hair is completely white.

The way my hair is looking, it seems like it might just go white, though I'll most probably be salt and pepper for a while before that. I can't imagine my hair completely turning gray in the next four years. I don't dye it yet, but I will have to see how it looks when it's more heavily transitional. For now, anyway, I'm still mostly brunette. Or so I like to think.

I was never much with substance abuse, but I've got plenty of stress, unfortunately.

XP yay for enjoying your time with newish guy friend, without putting pressure on any of it mentally. :-)

I have about a dozen white hairs that I just pluck out. My coworker says 'nooo, ten more will grow back in their place' but she also wonders what would happen if an IUD floated out of your uterus and into your body.

what would happen if an IUD floated out of your uterus and into your body? The image reminds me of those garbage barges that just float around the ocean...or the big piles of garbage that also float around the ocean, just not on barges

ut she also wonders what would happen if an IUD floated out of your uterus and into your body.

It always startles me when an adult female friend says or misunderstands something fundamental about ones own body. In my early 20s a friend of mine shuffled up to me one day and whispered "can you like, actually go to the toilet when you're wearing a tampon?" She'd been reluctant to use one as she thought it'd come out, or get in the way, or something.

wau.

Yeah that was kind of my reaction. How can you get to yr 20s and not know how a tampon works? :/

I have a pretty good grey streak in the middle of the left side of my head. It started when I was about 15 and friends in school used to pull the greys out but now when people see it they are like "cooooool!" I've never dyed my hair and don't plan on it.

My dad had all white hair by the time he was 50. My mom has always dyed her hair so I don't know but she HAS done the thing where she gets more and more blonde as she gets older. She used to dye her hair dark red, and her natural color is plain ol' brown. As for wearing different colors, she tans really well and is outside a lot now because she's retired so she can still wear black and look OK I guess.

I just got out of being in 2 / 3 consecutive relationships for 5 years. Not that long when put into persepective, but I haven't had to worry about being single for my entire 20's and now I don't really know what to do. I went to a punk show by myself Friday and I only knew one other person there. I talked to some dudes but it got boring so I left and fell asleep watching Arrested Development at my friend's house :/

That sounds like a perfectly reasonable way to spend a Friday night to me.

It was certainly fun and reasonable! But was weird talking to guys I didn't know. I felt like I maybe should have been trying harder to flirt or talk people up or something.

Man, fuck that!

I found that one of the best things about biking to things, weather permitting, was that no matter how inconsequential a time I had at The Actual Thing, I never, EVER felt like it was a waste of my time if I got a nice pedal out of it. Night rides, warm breezes, seeing funny things and viewing views that no one else is there to see at that moment -- this is a great kind of freedom and the pleasure of it really cut me loose from all other expectations.

i drove to the grocery store this morning and i saw some people riding bikes and i wanted to ride a bike so bad even though it's so hot. but i haven't ridden mine in over a year. one i sort of broke (temporarily) and it needs work. and i won't have health insurance until next month. fwiw i can't wait to have gray hair but i have blonde hair so i'm not gonna notice it until i'm old.

Riding bikes to Activities is really fun and I should do it more often. I walk almost everywhere and if I'm feeling down after work or something the walk home gets me into a better mood.

The thing (actually Saturday, not Friday) was that having a bf became a sort of barrier and I felt exposed without a person standing next to me that I could make off hand comments to or laugh at things with. I'm getting over that though! Hopefully soon that feeling of exposure will be more like freedom.

Sometimes going to things alone means that you'll be that person who's hanging out by herself, smiling and listening or watching the action but not obviously being the center of something. So what? That's okay too. It did give me some food for thought re what things I was really going to enjoy in a focused way, and rule out some things that were only interesting if I went with a friend. That's okay too.

Plus on the off chance that you DO start talking to someone or you hate the event or w/e, you are FREE TO DO WHATEVER YOU WANT. Go home. Go to the afterparty. Kiss someone. Meet some people who seem cool and accept their invitation to grab a burger after the show. You know? Circulate, chat with casual acquaintances, don't have to explain to anyone where you are or where you'll be in 20 minutes, or plan to meet up again later, or anything. It's really pretty awesome.

NB: I have been known to go to shows where I knew no one and no one talked to me but I knew I'd like the band so I took a book and read until they started.

This is by all definitions totally lame. But spend your time the way you WANT to spend it, right? And I want to be reading.

again, GREAT idea! I don't think reading is ever lame.

I never really learned to cycle as a kid - ok, I did have a bike when I was 7, but I was too scared of falling off to go anywhere on it; haven't touched one since about 8 or 9 - it but it would be a convenient way of getting around now.

Wish I knew someone of similar height whose bike I could borrow in the hope of finding out whether I might ever actually be safe using the thing without spending (much) money.

thrift stores always have cheap bikes! Garage sales too.

Or you could steal borrow one that someone left unlocked and unattended.

I have come to a place of acceptance w/ my preference for walking/public transit over biking as a way to get around. I tried to be a Bike Person, and while I did pretty well with a bike as my main mode of transpo when I lived in college towns, I'm a big old chicken when it comes to any real urban riding. I did fine when I lived in a quieter 'hood and could ride side streets to work (and had a job that was pretty close to my apt. and where arriving all sweatified from riding a bike there was okay) but now that I have a grown up, business casual lawyer job and live in a very busy area (where like three bikers in four months were killed by traffic a couple of years ago), I have decided to let that whole bike riding thing go, and I am very happy w/ that decision.

spacecadet, does your council offer bike training? my council's bike training scheme will lend people bikes for the duration of the 2hr training session - it might be worth seeing if yours does as well? I learnt to ride a bike at age 24 so signed up for bike training to make sure i wasn't doing everything wrong, it was pretty useful.

i like riding my bike about the city but pretty much every trip will involve some kind of stuck-behind-a-bus/undercut-by-a-motorcycle/badly-rolled-up-jeans-caught-in-chain/shouted-at-by-with-driver type incident of screaming terror. but it's kind of balanced out by the bits where it's all joy!

C'mon, I've gone weeks, even months without any terror whatsoever!

I'm not saying everyone's gotta love biking or w/e but don't scare her off before she even starts!

I am just offering the example of contended self-acceptance if it turns out for spacecadet that riding a bike is not for her.

I found that one of the best things about biking to things, weather permitting, was that no matter how inconsequential a time I had at The Actual Thing, I never, EVER felt like it was a waste of my time if I got a nice pedal out of it. Night rides, warm breezes, seeing funny things and viewing views that no one else is there to see at that moment -- this is a great kind of freedom and the pleasure of it really cut me loose from all other expectations.

― the soul of the avocado escapes as soon as you open it (Laurel), Monday, July 19, 2010 11:03 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

THIS! Freeeedom! :D

oh i was trying to say that there is a lot of terror but the bliss of being on a bike outweighs it - i think i would feel really bad about my biking, esp the learning period, if i were led to believe that it was supposed to be all joy and freedom and that most people didn't have moments where all thought in their brain was replaced with the word BUS in red capitals.

Yeah, fair enough to Jenny & C#. I think maybe I'm unusually unconcerned about my physical safety -- there's a spike of adrenaline when something bad seems to be happening, but afterward I forget about it and somehow I just don't feel like The Bad Thing can happen to me. Which is clearly statistically false because Bad Things happen to SOMEbody, but it just doesn't sink in or seem important.

i really try to avoid the major bus routes... i'm sure i would spend a few months in terror learning how to bike right in manhattan. i spent a few months in terror learning how to bike in montreal and now a lot of it is total comfort-zone (except semi-suburban route-to-highway busy ridic bus-route streets. fuck those.)

Most of the worries of urban riding where I am are cars that think you should be on the sidewalk (so they honk and yell at you) and having to cross 4 lanes of traffic to turn left. My style of riding, however (if you could call it a style?), is to take as many back roads and neighborhood streets as possible no matter how indirect. That always leads to the kind of time Laurel talks about, which is the best time.

having a bf became a sort of barrier and I felt exposed without a person standing next to me that I could make off hand comments to or laugh at things with.

very true - otoh a friend can also be that person - and you no longer have to deal with a bf that wants to go home earlier than you do, or is tired and feeling a bit anti-social but not saying anything out of politeness and potentially something to resent you for at a later date.

oh, and I was at a show Saturday night, and this guy I sorta know said it was sad that I didn't know how to ride a bicycle, so I think he's going to teach me.

oh my!

that will be cute and there will be touching!

he was pretty wasted when he offered, so I'm not counting on it. But I'm pretty confident that I could find someone to teach me to ride a bike if I made an effort.

though he is friends with the friend of mine that I told could videotape me learning to ride a bike for a music video for his band, because the image of a 35 year old woman repeatedly falling off a bicycle should be put to good aesthetic use.

hahaaa ok that is true

i also think i'm gonna try using my magic eraser mop to wash my walls

There are benefits to not knowing how to do some things! I don't think I have ever washed a wall in my life.

xp Yes, I have a friend who is usually that person and probably will continue to be that person but it would still be good for me to learn to feel comfortable going places alone and talking to new people.

is said friend male or female? Though that's more an issue of talking to new people for purposes of dating vs. just meeting people

i need to wash my walls too. and then paint them!
(i explained the magic eraser to my newish guy friend on sat night and he was amazed and a little freaked out by its magical powers. this was in the context of him having just moved into a place and it needing further cleaning. i wasn't just randomly talking about household cleaning products.)

male

xp

I like it when people are amazed and freaked out by products I mention such as the diva cup, the feeldoe or the pee style

i was reading this book a while ago about how people are affected by their physical environments, and there was a part about messiness and clutter and an anecdote about how when rats are depressed they fail to keep their nests tidy, and my immediate goal is to have my apartment not look like it's inhabited by a mentally ill rodent.

^^ should be rodents, plural, my ex-bf was equally responsible for the state of the apartment - so that's over a decade's worth of depressed rat's nest to tidy

haha i did not know about the latter 2. i love diva cup though!

i generally avoid hygiene products i can't get at a 24 hour store - just based on my known habits

My nest gets filthier the gloomier I am and when my nest is filthy I get gloomy.