no boys allowed in the room!!!!

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YEAH! I'm in so what do we do in this here room then?

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:22 (ten years ago) link

talk about makeup and boys and lisa frank stuff

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:23 (ten years ago) link

User BIG HOOS aka the steendriver has been successfully banned from the thread

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:24 (ten years ago) link

is this where we talk about shoes and dryer sheets

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:25 (ten years ago) link

in a word: y

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:26 (ten years ago) link

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

I am down with talking about all those things.

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_0G0KeGZNnU0/SOkLif0annI/AAAAAAAAAJE/P4llZRVs8yQ/s320/8baeded0.gif

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:26 (ten years ago) link

and swiffers

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:26 (ten years ago) link

i hate the swiffer btw

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:26 (ten years ago) link

You hate the Swiffer? I was thinking of gettin' one tbh.

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:27 (ten years ago) link

i dunno maybe it will improve your life but my mom got me one and it had a neutral effect afaic

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:28 (ten years ago) link

i wish clarissa from clarissa explains it all posted here

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:29 (ten years ago) link

i'm glad oprah doesn't post here except i would like to suggest ban her

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:31 (ten years ago) link

MJH was a bitch to me (as covered on another recent thread) so I don't have that much <3 for Clarissa :-(

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:31 (ten years ago) link

JTT <3333333333333333

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:31 (ten years ago) link

I totally had this game btw:

http://collegecandy.files.wordpress.com/2009/01/07/girl_talk_box_cover.jpg

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:33 (ten years ago) link

also we can make those paper fortune tellers and tell each others fortunes, in fact i am gonna make one right now

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:34 (ten years ago) link

who are:

lisa frank
mjh
clarissa

where we turn sweet dreams into remarkable realities (just1n3), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:34 (ten years ago) link

haha what was the other game that was kinda like girl talk but it had men u could date?

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:34 (ten years ago) link

x-post OK yeah, am definitely up for doing that.

GOD DAMN:

http://www.styletraxx.com/JamesFranco.jpg

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:35 (ten years ago) link

i recall having this but i don't believe my mom would let me have it so i'm confused
http://www.boardgamesrus.com/images/Mall%20Madness%20G61.gif

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:35 (ten years ago) link

xpost justine:

lisa frank designed crazy school supply items like some of the dolphin-festooned things you see on this thread, she was v popular with middle school aged girls in the early-mid 90s

melissa joan hart is mjh, she played the title role in "clarissa explains it all" which was a popular nickelodeon television show for the same age of girls at roughly the same time

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:35 (ten years ago) link

i hate to be gabbneb, but i actually did briefly date a guy who kinda looked like james franco, esp as he is in this picture:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/olmedia/1940000/images/_1944248_mate_pa.jpg

anyways he was mad dumb

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:37 (ten years ago) link

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:39 (ten years ago) link

right??????

man i so rarely like a pinup type of dude it is kinda cool when i do cause then you can like commiserate about it with other girls

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:40 (ten years ago) link

LOL yeah he's defintely just well . . . dreamy.

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:40 (ten years ago) link

dryer sheets?

yes james franco is a universal.

horseshoe, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:41 (ten years ago) link

he's 2 years older than me?!

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:42 (ten years ago) link

dryer sheets and other products for the home lol

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:42 (ten years ago) link

yeah what's the with dryer sheets? I'm allergic to most fabric softeners so I have to use hippy dippy all natural stuff that doesn't work all that great but is at least something.

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:43 (ten years ago) link

how old r u

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:43 (ten years ago) link

i hate dryer sheets, they are pointless

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:43 (ten years ago) link

i don't like anything that makes things smell like anything!

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:43 (ten years ago) link

Mr. Franco and I are 4 mo. and 10 days apart in age and I believe he's currently attending my alma matter.

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:44 (ten years ago) link

damn erica lol

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:44 (ten years ago) link

en vaporisateur

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:45 (ten years ago) link

hahahaha touche

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:45 (ten years ago) link

yall check out this creepy ad btw:

http://rgh.cc/albums/userpics/10001/%5Bcreepy%5Dloves-baby-soft-ad-c1976.jpg

The Neb-U-Taunt Ball (roxymuzak), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:45 (ten years ago) link

(wait - I dind't actually know that . . . I looked it up just now. Just wanted to make sure you didn't think I was some franco-obsessed crazy person)

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:46 (ten years ago) link

ew rapey

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:46 (ten years ago) link

xp

harbl, Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:46 (ten years ago) link

ok yeah, that is exceptionally creepy

Fennec fox which does grooming (ENBB), Sunday, 21 June 2009 01:46 (ten years ago) link

still though ... even with a much larger selection of "eligible males" + the internet, I still often think, "Why are guys all so stupid?"

sarahell, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 19:26 (one week ago) link

at least you don't have to wait until after 9pm to make phone calls to people you like.

Yerac, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 19:33 (one week ago) link

at least you don't have to wait until after 9pm to make phone calls to people you like.

― Yerac, Tuesday, October 8, 2019 12:33 PM (five minutes ago

omg, it's kinda like that though! Like there is this *thing* where you are supposed to ask ppl if you can call them (and vice versa).

sarahell, Tuesday, 8 October 2019 19:39 (one week ago) link

the same "But does he LIKE like me? And do I really LIKE like him?" deadlock.

Oh man, try this, but with added extra "but is she/they gay? bi-curious? heteroflexible? are they even attracted to my gender in the first place? Wait, remind me again, what gender does she believe I even am?"

It's funny how everyone tries to reassure you, you know, when you're a teenager everything seems so complicated, but it gets simpler? It doesn't. It's simple when you're a teenager. It gets way way more complicated when you're older.

Branwell with an N, Wednesday, 9 October 2019 08:51 (one week ago) link

well it was simple for me when i was a teenager because i hated myself, thought i was a grotesque freak, and was too scared to talk to anybody!

Spironolactone T. Agnew (rushomancy), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 14:19 (one week ago) link

Now when did I last feel that way? Oh yeah, this morning.

Anne Hedonia (j.lu), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 14:30 (one week ago) link

stuck in a small town with a depressingly limited pool of boys to think that about, while simultaneously thinking, "Why are guys all so stupid?"

lol HARD SAME. Plus being trained in a religion that specified that not only was I supposed to find one of these idiots attractive, but I was going to have to be subservient to him as the master of the household. Put me right off marriage, I'll tell you that.

And to think people used to ask me why I didn't date in school or college.

There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 16:37 (one week ago) link

La Lechera, have you considered taking birth control pills continuously to skip your period? This was suggested to me, though I did not do it.

Virginia Plain, Wednesday, 9 October 2019 17:33 (one week ago) link

i have recently reconsidered going back on HBC. i took bc pills for most of my menstruating years and going off them was not good; they also gave me migraines. still maybe that is better than what i have been experiencing? it has been almost a decade since i tried that, maybe my situation is different now.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 18:06 (one week ago) link

also otm about hometown slim pickins -- i'm not interested in revisiting my adolescent years in no small part because the pool of options i had was small and, as it turns out, quite bad.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 18:07 (one week ago) link

meanwhile, I've been single for almost exactly 10 years now, and I am more or less okay with it ... at least, the cultural and psychological pressure to be partnered is mostly gone. I realized, after talking to a female friend who is in therapy for this, that I have a history of "codependency issues" ... it's like I have a tendency to turn into this other person when I am in a relationship or crushing super hard. This other person is generally a lot nicer and sweeter than "the real me" but the fact that somehow my self-esteem and a lot of my identity suddenly is dependent on what the partner/crush thinks of me and thinks about "things" ... it's scary as fuck.

sarahell, Wednesday, 9 October 2019 19:35 (one week ago) link

Same. I have a bad track record of not being myself in relationships, which I'm pretty sure has contributed to the demise of a couple of them. Oddly enough though, not in my current one, which is one of the sterling qualities that makes me stay in it.

For me, it's been related to dating people who I think are too good for me; basically I'm afraid they'll figure out that I'm not smart enough or cool enough to be worthy of them, which makes me consumed with the necessity of being perfect/charming/etc so they don't find out. It's poison, obvs. Idk what happened with my current partner, I guess bc we met online and just started dating, there was no long period where I was "in crush" with him. Also tbf maybe I was feeling especially cold and rational year and I just held that line.

It's better this way. And it turns out that the real me is a monster lol

There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Thursday, 10 October 2019 17:08 (one week ago) link

And it turns out that the real me is a monster lol

Oh shiiiit, I have so much to say on that topic (not you, but me) but ... I am not going to reveal that much.

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 17:34 (one week ago) link

I look forward to it! It's not really that I'm terrible, maybe a little lazy, selfish, human...but I can't be afraid of being flawed or else everything is doomed, including my mental health.

There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Thursday, 10 October 2019 17:57 (one week ago) link

most of the recent long term couples i know either knew the person from school or met them on the internet. no in-between.

Yerac, Thursday, 10 October 2019 17:59 (one week ago) link

Basically, my attitude towards "the real me" is: there is some dark evil garbage there, but I have a choice whether to indulge it or repress it; I have the agency to prevent other people from being hurt by it; I can work on understanding what triggers it and how to talk myself down and deal with things in a kinder more empathetic way.

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:03 (one week ago) link

And to me, that's the scary aspect of the alt-right MRA incel dudes -- it's like they are just collectively saying "fuck it" and indulging their inner angry sociopaths as opposed to saying, "I don't want to be evil," and trying to be better people.

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:25 (one week ago) link

Wow, Sarahell, it's like you've reinvented hardcore Calvinism? (I am mostly joking, but only mostly.)

I dunno. Like, a large part of therapy for me was letting go of this idea (totally internalised from that kind of Christianity) that the fundamental core of me was some dark evil garbage. Like, yes, I had some pretty heavy neurological difference that caused me to interpret (and be interpreted by) therefore react to (and be reacted to) other people in some fucked up ways. But it was up to me how I navigated and negotiated that, with that knowledge?

Like, even with the hardcore misandry that has built up over years, deep down, I really have a hard time believing that anyone is a truly totally garbage human being. That there are flawed human beings operating within twisted systems that twist them. But believing that makes it harder for me - like, when cis dudes confirm all the wost aspects of cis dudeisms, I get angry, like - you have the ability to do better? You could, and you should! Every non-cis-dude I know works on themselves so hard all the time, why don't you make that choice, instead of just doubling down on it?

Anyway, this thinkpiece seems to be resonating with a lot of what's been said here (and I love the phrase heteropessimism) but it's still leaving me with a sense of ... I don't know, rubbing me the wrong way. Girls, what is bugging about this piece?

https://thenewinquiry.com/on-heteropessimism/

Branwell with an N, Thursday, 10 October 2019 18:52 (one week ago) link

Wow, Sarahell, it's like you've reinvented hardcore Calvinism? (I am mostly joking, but only mostly.)

ha the religion of my ancestors (probably)! ... I don't think everyone has dark evil garbage at their core. Or rather, there's a spectrum of dark evil garbage -- and mine is "above average" like if we were to compare it to absorbency ratings on menstrual products, with the most innately kind compassionate people having a panty liner's worth of dark evil garbage, mine would be definitely be a "super plus" but not so bad as to require a tampon + heavy days pad. And I'm not saying I was "born that way" -- a lot of it was unhealthy thinking and coping mechanisms as a result of being a weird kid in an oppressively normal small town, as well as untreated mental illness.

That there are flawed human beings operating within twisted systems that twist them. But believing that makes it harder for me - like, when cis dudes confirm all the wost aspects of cis dudeisms, I get angry, like - you have the ability to do better? You could, and you should!

What I believe is closer to that, btw. Some people get twisted "worse" than others, some get twisted towards narcissism, sociopathic tendencies, bullying, intolerance/hatred of difference ... others get twisted towards fear, crippling anxiety, low self-worth, etc. Not to make it binary ... because some of the "predatory" twistedness stems from "victimhood" twistedness.

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 19:08 (one week ago) link

Branwell, I haven't read the article yet, but would it make sense re: your discomfort, that the person on social media I saw post a link to it is a cis white hetero dude who is into idm and alt-right adjacent?

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 19:10 (one week ago) link

That article, I dunno. Heterosexuality is such a huge mess and there are too many rigid institutions that want to keep it that way. I have been getting annoyed with my fb friends, women with phDs and full time jobs who circulate articles about the unseen labor they do in the household while their husband still has to be reminded of simple adult things to do. Such a shitshow.

Yerac, Thursday, 10 October 2019 19:29 (one week ago) link

Which also leads into that study recently about men benefitting more than women from being married and women being more likely to initiate divorces. Like, no shit.

Yerac, Thursday, 10 October 2019 19:30 (one week ago) link

Tldr that hot garbage. Any time an accusation is made that some act of resistance is "performative," I mentally mute all following content.

The little bit that I did read made me really angry because, among probably 1000 other things, the author is

1. Pretending that they don't know that when straight women complain about being attracted to men, what they're really critiquing is patriarchy, not heterosexuality as itself.

2. Pretending that heterosexuality is the same as violent/toxic masculinity/patriarchy. "I think they're wrong, that there's evidence heterosexual culture is changing. But even if it weren't we would have to believe it could, because tens of thousands of women are currently dying of it [heterosexuality] every year, murdered by their husbands, boyfriends, or exes.") THEY'RE NOT MURDERED FOR BEING HETERO, THEY'RE MURDERED BECAUSE THE MEN IN THEIR LIVES ARE VIOLENT MISOGYNISTS. Also because guns, honestly.

3. The writer just equated women who are "pessimistic" about heterosexuality, as in point #1, and Men Going Their Own Way, which I don't have the resiliency to explain here but google MGTOW if you must. Those two ideas are NOT EQUAL.

Honestly there's so much more but I can't type it all out. Throw the whole article away.

There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Thursday, 10 October 2019 19:34 (one week ago) link

haha, otm. Yeah, I started skimming because the entire thing was confusingly written.

Yerac, Thursday, 10 October 2019 19:37 (one week ago) link

on point 1 about being attracted to men I thought they were going to go into a sexual attraction vs romantic attraction angle but that wasn't the case.

Yerac, Thursday, 10 October 2019 19:38 (one week ago) link

Thank you, in orbit, you hit the ball right out of the park immediately.

I think it was Point No. 3 that just stuck in my throat, like, what, no - these two things are not the same thing at all. The reasoning is different, the logic is different, the power dynamic is completely different. And just feeling like that author had really, really missed something incredibly big, as to why she would even think this way.

And of course, what she has missed is exactly points 1 and 2.

Thank you! You have very succinctly articulated what was bothering me!

Branwell with an N, Thursday, 10 October 2019 19:54 (one week ago) link

Yes, io otm. That essay or whatever it is sounds like garbage.

Also I value succinct point-making/articulation of ideas so much in the face of disingenuous long-winded endurance tests designed to fatigue the reader into capitulation to their pov

💜

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:11 (one week ago) link

It’s like when someone says “fight me” — my first thought is “no way, f u”

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:13 (one week ago) link

Boy, and how.

Recently I was in a professional training and the speaker asked for a show of hands: "Who in here sees themselves as a person of excellence?" or something like that. And a few ppl raised their hands but honestly I was just like "That sounds exhausting. Is there a medium version?"

There's more Italy than necessary. (in orbit), Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:36 (one week ago) link

xp - I prefer "fight me" to a long ass diatribe about "this is why you suck" -- having experienced both

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:39 (one week ago) link

relatedly, going back to the differences between teen dating and adult relationships -- it is way way easier to avoid the people it doesn't work out with when you're an adult.

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:42 (one week ago) link

oh my i would not give the time of day to a diatribe about why i suck
1) excuse you, i don't suck. your thesis is invalid.
and 2) who has the time/inclination to type out paragraphs of hateful shit and deliver it to a person? wtf, no one i want to know.

poof
* u got jettisoned *

being a teenager fucking sucked, i'll take adulthood any day any way

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:46 (one week ago) link

wtf, no one i want to know.

you know this person. you regret knowing this person.

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:49 (one week ago) link

basically I prolonged the diatribe by logically arguing against each of his points

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 20:50 (one week ago) link

Not the wisest choice, next time press EJECT to jettison rather than REPLY

The difference is palpable! Hard FU to anyone who tries to manipulate people that way.

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:38 (one week ago) link

Tbh I felt pretty good about myself that I didn't press "LOOP PLAY"

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 21:55 (one week ago) link

I did eventually press EJECT after telling him that he was projecting his own insecurities and inadequacies onto me, that he has serious control issues, and that he should work on having the self-discipline necessary to not treat other people like shit

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 22:08 (one week ago) link

It took a lot of self-discipline on my part not to do anything vindictive ... outside of post on this thread.

sarahell, Thursday, 10 October 2019 22:09 (one week ago) link

What I believe is closer to that, btw. Some people get twisted "worse" than others, some get twisted towards narcissism, sociopathic tendencies, bullying, intolerance/hatred of difference ... others get twisted towards fear, crippling anxiety, low self-worth, etc. Not to make it binary ... because some of the "predatory" twistedness stems from "victimhood" twistedness.

― sarahell

cycle of violence and abuse. i know i've done both at once.

a lot of what i've gone through is getting myself to a point where i can _listen_ to that vicious hateful screaming person inside of me. turns out all that anger and rage and shit was because i wasn't _listening_ to them, which of course i wasn't because they were screaming and abusive and possibly violent. anybody else behaved like that and i wouldn't listen to them, i'd shut them out and keep them away to keep myself safe, but when it's me doing that it's not enough to say that's a "bad person" and ignore them, and it's not enough to argue with them and tell them all the ways they're wrong. "i hear what you are saying and i disagree" seems to work, though.

Spironolactone T. Agnew (rushomancy), Friday, 11 October 2019 00:33 (one week ago) link

a long ass diatribe about "this is why you suck"

Inspired by Captain Awkward and 5 long years of therapy, the most satisfying response to such a thing, is a succinct non-engagement.

To them: "Wow, you're right. The person you're describing sounds like a total arsehole. You should stop being friends with them."

THEN WALK AWAY.

To yourself: "wow, why would I want to be friends with someone who genuinely views me that way?"

Branwell with an N, Friday, 11 October 2019 07:52 (one week ago) link

(Usual caveats that this is based on highly gendered patterns. That people who are viewed as women are trained to view every relationship problem as their specific personal responsibility, and that it is their job to placate or even fix angry or demanding men. I think the hardest lesson is not actually learning to press EJECT; but to learn to distinguish genuine and helpful advice from this kind of controlling behaviour.)

Branwell with an N, Friday, 11 October 2019 07:53 (one week ago) link

I'm having a weird and horrible experience right now, which is really messing with my head, and my ideas around gender-based violence. But it's very much a question of "this is one isolated and individual example, that violates but does not invalidate the general patterns of how this shit works."

I don't know if this thread or a Neighbour Problems thread is the appropriate place for it (I still have panic attacks at the thought of asking even reasonable questions on General ILX.) But a new couple have recently moved into the flat next to mine, and since then, there has been near-constant, loud, invasive and open (as in, it does not stay in their flat, it moves into the shared areas directly outside my door and windows) terrifying domestic violence.

After trying repeatedly to offer help to the girl, then (very reluctantly, with great trepidation because my local police are known for their brutality) getting the police involved bcz one of them pulled a knife - I discovered that it was actually the girl being abusive and violent towards the boy.

It's a fucking nightmare, because it drives home exactly what "local services cut to the bone" actually means in an inner London borough - little to no response from the council, her social worker impossible to get hold of, no resources at the police's domestic violence department to deal with it, no spaces at local mental hospitals to address either her untreated mental illness or the pair's drug dependency.

I'm pretty well versed in how to support a woman being abused by a man. I know what resources are available, I know how to help and how not to help. But this? I got nothing. It is rare; it is generally the exception. But being unprepared for the exception is... well, this is a lot right now, and I don't know how to handle it.

Not really expecting replies, but thanks for listening/reading.

Branwell with an N, Friday, 11 October 2019 08:23 (one week ago) link

To me this is the frustrating thing about the whataboutists who turn every conversation about abuse into a pretext for misogyny. It happens. Sometimes women abuse men. Sometimes women assault men. And the whataboutists make me afraid of even mentioning this, talking about the people I've known, lest I sound like one of them.

One of my wife's former co-workers openly sexually assaulted a man at their office (hence "former"). One of my co-workers, the week I came out, went to court to testify for one of her friends, whose ex was violent towards him. It was a difficult and terrifying experience for her, and after all that the judge still dismissed it as a "domestic dispute", because he had the not uncommon perception that women don't abuse men.

Like you say, these are individual examples, and they don't imply larger patterns.

Spironolactone T. Agnew (rushomancy), Friday, 11 October 2019 13:36 (one week ago) link

I'm pretty well versed in how to support a woman being abused by a man. I know what resources are available, I know how to help and how not to help. But this? I got nothing.

ugh ... yeah, it's tough ... in situations like this (and I have been in similar ones) I tend to ask myself, "what am I willing to do, what do I feel confident I can do and not make the situation worse, and how much responsibility am I willing to take on?"

sarahell, Friday, 11 October 2019 17:44 (one week ago) link

That people who are viewed as women are trained to view every relationship problem as their specific personal responsibility, and that it is their job to placate or even fix angry or demanding men.

It's true ... but in this case, at that particular stage, I felt more like I was providing diagnostic tech support for his shitty personality

sarahell, Friday, 11 October 2019 17:47 (one week ago) link

omg let me ask how much responsibility am I willing to take on?

bc diagnostic tech support for this particular situation sounds like a looooooooot of work :)

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 11 October 2019 18:07 (one week ago) link

wait, Branwell's situation or mine?

sarahell, Friday, 11 October 2019 18:28 (one week ago) link

yours

weird woman in a bar (La Lechera), Friday, 11 October 2019 18:28 (one week ago) link

i mean, i had done previous research ... it's not like it took much effort to assess his problems ... he pretty much had admitted them ... if we are comparing this "relationship" ending discussion to tech support, it was like, "oh, you have weird pop-ups and your browser is screwy? and you said that you regularly look at foreign porn sites? sounds like malware. Yeah, you need to get something to get rid of the malware. I can't do anything on my end. Thanks for calling. Bye."

sarahell, Friday, 11 October 2019 18:35 (one week ago) link

obviously I hadn't done _enough_ research to realize he was a horrible narcissist before getting involved, even to the fairly minor extent I did. ... and by "research" I mean, refreshing my memory of previous conversations throughout the years

sarahell, Friday, 11 October 2019 18:52 (one week ago) link


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