your terrible ideas

A 2024 record by ? and the Mysterians called "58 Years", where the singer details all the horrible life events that have happened to the female subject of the song in the decades since she left him and he recorded "96 Tears"

Commando: Home Alone. Arnold reprises his role as John Matrix in this crossover film. This time the burglars have really picked the wrong house.

I would prefer if John Matrix were the one trying to get into the house, like maybe he put the wrong address in google maps for where his kidnapped daughter is being held.

I was amusing myself today imagining a guy who unironically refers to his toes as "The Wolf Pack"

Ha!

need to get these puppies outta my boots before they start to hoooowl

― budo jeru, Monday, July 22, 2024 4:26 PM (sixteen seconds ago) bookmarkflaglink

haha what thread?

rejected JBR screen names

Godzilla Minus One, a Jazz play along record.

Read that as Godzilla Mingus One

Someone else's terrible idea - a keyring for your car keys that's a miniature of your car's number plate. Terrible because if you lose your keys, whoever picks them up could then find your car and steal it.

a reality television show where they bring on people who are known for telling outlandish tall tales about things that allegedly happen to them to look badass, and then acquaintances of that person who were there when these events happen, with the latter throwing cold water on the cool stories OP was telling and sharing what actually happened.

"one time I stole a car and was chased by the police"

"no actually, you borrowed your mother's car, with permission, and the cops were chasing another vehicle ahead of you and you pulled over"

A jazz band featuring AI generated vocals of the former US Vice President, called Al Gore Rhythms

Yo La Tengo cover band that performs inside a protective plastic bubble, called Noli Me Tangere

public toilets with a handle attached to the flush lever so that you never have to touch the dirty flush lever

But the handle will be dirty

floor mounted flushes that you can step on

I've seen those in trains. Not a terrible idea, but they often don't work.

But the handle will be dirty

― Bad Bairns (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, August 18, 2024 2:11 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

lol exactly, see thread title

There is a bucket of disposable, single use handles for people who are concerned about that*

*the handles are sitting in pickle juice

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GU7cPbEXsAA_AOA?format=jpg&name=small

I was thinking, did I once see a pic of Russian public toilets with glass barrier walls, not like the self-cleaning sealed Japanese ones that turn opaque as soon as you shut the door. No, just glass.

Golf umbrella javelin. Just like regular javelin, but with a golf umbrella instead of a javelin.

Instead of releasing these £200 expanded box sets, they should rerelease classic albums with a bunch of tracks missing and/or faded out early and sell then for like £8. I mean, who's got the time and/or money these days ya know?

the irregular underwear of music

or the box sets could be reliced and made to look like they were stolen from Target, missing 7 of the 8 LPs, liner notes have been encrusted with a true-to-life snot stain and "weed" crumbles. this would obviously make them more expensive, though, not less

Two chocolate bars that combine the top and bottom halves of a Snickers and a Double Decker. 'Dickers' = the peanuts & caramel top of the Snickers combined with the biscuit-crispy bottom of the Double Decker. So called because that's what you'll say when inevitably bits of it get stuck in/between your teeth/filling. 'Milky Why?' = the nougat half of both bars.

― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Wednesday, 15 July 2020 20:16 (four years ago)

I tried this out this afternoon and it is indeed a terrible idea. The 'Milky Why?' has an interesting flavour, being comprised of two different chocolates and two different nougats. But without the biscuit base of the Double Decker, that nougat almost has the texture of cheap bubblegum. I was left chewing for a while. The 'Dickers' manages to be even worse. I correctly predicted the dental hazard of this combination but the texture and flavour I didn't expect. It was like eating a piece of coarsely crumbling tarmac coated in chocolate, and there was a strong aftertaste of burnt caramel and peanuts.

I misread something last night as Da Vinci Donuts, then decided that a great name for a donut chain would be Masterpiece Donuts

Hamster Dance! Live on Broadway

a coffee shop called Scone Depot

A version of Biggies "Juicy" where all he does is list video game consoles

A cover version of Chris Spedding's "Motorbikin'" titled "Microwavin'".

Double Polkas on the Dot: A Polka Tribute to Minutemen

Instead of releasing these £200 expanded box sets, they should rerelease classic albums with a bunch of tracks missing and/or faded out early and sell then for like £8. I mean, who's got the time and/or money these days ya know?

Capitol Records actually did this with major catalogue items in the late 80s, like a version of The Band with two tracks omitted so they would have to pay a marginally smaller royalty rate. Worst example I ever saw was a cassette of Ummagumma with one-and-a-half sides of music removed with no explanation or caveat.

i mean they did it in the '60s too with the Beatles records, although i guess those weren't reissues

Records that change after multiple plays

Global Hypercolour (Hypersound?) record that changes songs/genre/mood depending on temperature.

A radio that pauses the song halfway through until you put more coins in

Bat Santa

The KISS hologram concert, except Gene Simmons is replaced by 1974-era Ron Mael

an alternative to instant messaging services where messages are delayed a few hours or only delivered 2-3 times a day, like the mail used to be

this way you don't need to check your messages all the time and you'll be less prone to send unnecessary messages

xp replace Paul Stanley with Russell Mael as well and I'm in.

A reboot of the Ted Rogers game show 3-2-1, except the questions are generated by an AI.

a band called Th Ebeatles

(pronounced "the e-beatles")

Neep Space Dine - a Star Trek themed restaurant that only serves swede-based dishes.

A hipster brand that sells expensive T-shirts with designs that are very obviously and deliberately incredibly shit AI

band named Food Network that plays only food-based parodies of Television songs. "torn...CRUTON", "I pre...I pre soak...I pre soak...lentttttiiiiiilllls", etc.

that's an excellent idea actually

A Weird Al version of Biko by Peter Gabriel called "Bilko"

massive lols at that

"Proof it... The yeast breeeead!"