your terrible ideas

a movie called “So I Married a Whale Hunter,” an updated filmic version of Moby-Dick, with its most famous song being “Thar She Blows” (to the tune of the La’s)

Any movie or TV show with horses in it need to list the horses in the credits, with character names.

Like for House of the Dragon it'd be like:

DAEMON TARGARYEN....MATT SMITH

FIRE-MANE THE FEARLESS.........BUTTERCUP OF POOFYDALE

meta legs / QWOP mashup

lol, yes

the first person to get to address the meta virtual conference is...whoever can make it up the virtual stage stairs using their QWOP legs

a TV channel where someone's living room is randomly displayed for 24 hours, without that person knowing

this will be known as the Patriot Act Channel

I want to make this movie.

https://i.imgur.com/4hjM0Bq.jpeg

elections that civilians are never told the results of

Rush / Limbaugh, in which an AI-generated audio deepfake of the deceased conservative radio host does spoken-word versions of all the lyrics of 2112.

Like, Shatner "Lucy in the Sky" style.

Traffic lights that, instead of turning red or green, turn infrared and ultraviolet.

every time i see an old timer's thread bumped on ILM, i get the urge to simply post "dang, RIP" just to momentarily bamboozle whoever opens the thread next

sort of a reverse shakey, if you will

Damn, RIP

Christian cannabis brand or podcast called Praise ’n Blaze

Bryan Ferry sings... the Songs of Autechre

kraftwork's neon lights but replace 'neon' with 'christmas'. and maybe the synths with glockenspiels.

Autechre should make a Christmas album

wasn't Tri Repetae their christmas album?

designer office supply store but instead of office depot it’s called office DRIPot

A single-issue presidential campaign: every street in the country with the same name should eventually connect if you follow them far enough.

Mad Max as a two hour play only done in monologue with no set.

Also the cast does not bathe for weeks

that’s a great idea! could be like eugene o’neill’s emperor jones, except instead of brutus jones the main character would be the humungus

YouTuba

Predator brings alien boyfriend home to family in: Meet The Predators

i really want to see the prequel where they meet and fall in love while hunting humans. the meet cute, the instant mutual dislike, followed by the beginnings of a grudging respect when they are forced to work together to eradicate humanity, then the climactic moment when one must sacrifice itself to save the other, the tearful confessions of love and farewell, the miraculous resurrection! and together they zoom off into space, leaving the charred remains of the earth behind them.

i really want to see the prequel where they meet and fall in love

Predator: Predating

alien presents predator with a dripping bouquet of skulls'n'spines, then they go out to olive garden and kill everybody there, pausing for selfies to post on their joint facebook account

Predator brings alien boyfriend home to family in: Meet The Predators

omg yes and ripley is alien mom!

Predator: Predating

― kinder, Sunday, January 1, 2023 1:25 PM (fifty-four minutes ago) bookmarkflaglink

A Noah Baumbach Picture

I like the image of an alien standing awkwardly a la ben stiller with shoulders hunched and hands in pockets

"I've got a cloaking device. Can you see ME?"

Female predator's adopted father to be played by Arnold Schwarzenegger please.
― Camaraderie at Arms Length, Sunday, January 1, 2023 1:40 PM (one hour ago) bookmarkflaglink

"Alien, go make the salad."
"What?"
"GET TO DE CHOPPA!"

parody of the DO GOOD bumper sticker, DO BAD

remake Daisies with Kirstie Alsop and Lucy Worsley

Record label for 80s post-punk fans with short attention spans: 4ADHD

A game in the format of Oregon Trail, where you try to get to the bathroom at a frat party

Record label for 80s post-punk fans with short attention spans: 4ADHD

― latebloomer, Sunday, February 5, 2023 7:51 PM (two hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

Reminds me about the Steven Wright bit about HDADD - "High Definition Attention Deficit Disorder"

xp
Don't Shit Your Pants

Bublé T - a reality TV show based on the titualar bubble tea stand run by entertainer Michael Bublé and rapper/actor Ice T in Times Square in New York. Episode 4: tensions mount as Bublé T face competition from a rival bubble tea stand run by ex Michael Jackson sidekick Bubbles and be-muscled stripey sock wearing gold repository Mr. T.

A reboot of Thomas The Tank Engine, with invasive sponsership by a UK pizza restaurant chain. To the point that Thomas's face is a giant pizza and it's animated like the scary bit in Peter Gabriel's 'Sledgehammer' video where his face is made up of bits of fruit and veg.

A combined tapas bar and drop-in anger management therapy centre for people who are hangry.

IDK if this is the right place for this, but my daughter and I were riffing on the idea (maybe a kids' book? comedy sketch?) about a man who doesn't understand stop signs, because there's no accompanying go sign. So basically the first time he drives a car, he stops at the first stop sign and then just stays there for like 30 minutes, traffic building up behind him, honking irate drivers, and he eventually calls the person he's visiting to tell them "Listen, I'm sorry I'm running late, I'm stuck at a stop sign." In the end, when it's finally explained to him, he lobbies his town to change all of the stop signs to say "Stop, and then Go"

Or he lobbies for "Go signs" every few meters on every roadside.

Maybe he could invent an entirely mechanical Stop/Go sign that switches between the two states by some Rube Goldberg mechanism, all the while completely oblivious to the existance of traffic lights?

He invents a device for four-way stopsigns where they are all attached to each other via gears and chains, so that when certain signs say stop, others say go, but then he realizes that this gets in the way of trucks, so he develops a really tall version, but then no one can see them.

That’s when the complex system of mirrors comes in

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ooF9il6DZ-w

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kwlVq6BqsEI

i don't have kids or anything but this seems like a pretty solid and marketable picture book to me, you should get on that!

terrible idea:

A spherical crock-pot covered with tiny mirrors

to make...

wait for it...

disco stew