your terrible ideas

In 8th Grade History I did a song about Mohammed to the tune of “Mother by Pink Floyd”

Mohammed do you think they’ll write the Koran
Mohammed do you think you should start Islam

Something like that

I want to see a line of novelty t-shirts in the vein of the "big johnson" ones called "BALLS OUT" that are absolutely literal with no innuendo or double entrendre whatsoever.

So the shirt on display at whatever the current equivalent of Spencer Gifts will say something like "BALLS OUT YOGA" with a somewhat realistic drawing - in the style of, say, Dave Berg or Mort Drucker" - of a guy doing yoga with his scrotum accidentally dangling out. No one in the drawings will be reacting in any way to the situation.

I sang a song about minerals in 6th grade. It was called mineral man, and although I wrote the lyrics beforehand I did not bother to think of how the sing went. I sang the song and around the room pointing my fake mineral gun lasers at fake minerals, blasting them into smaller fake minerals. The class cracked up and the boys thought I was a hero for the day; the girls understood that I was at least 6-8 years away from puberty and I became everyone’s weird little brother

heardle clone where all the tracks are autechre

I'm pretty sure I'd be better at autecheardle than at heardle

A porn magazine called MASSIVE MELONS, but it’s fully clothed middle aged men with enormous heads.

Following on from 'hot yoga', a health concept called 'Hot Yoghurt'. Basically a room with the heating cranked on full where people are served tubs yoghurt that have been microwaved.

A song advertising sloppy joes sauce that uses the melody from the chorus of “Take Me Home (Country Roads),” with just the words “sloppy joes” sung over and over again.

Sloppy joes
sloppy joes
sloppy joes
sloppy joo-ooooes
sloppy joes yea
sloppy joes
take me home
sloppy joes”

lol

i like this terrible idea, and suspect that jd's immortal melody will graft itself to every three-syllable phrase that arises in my mind for the foreseeable

oh god

oh no

what have you done

Bill Danoff's melody

letting the joes go by, let the sloppies hold the joes
letting the joes go by, sloppies flowing under joes
into the joes again, into the sloppy joes
under the sloppy joes, there are sloppies under joes

Aerosmith's New Album is called Sloppin' On Joe-Joe

I mean Adam Sandler kinda had a song like this on his first album

I have never heard anything beyond the Hanukkah song and the stuff from the Wedding Singer. Adam Sandler might be the actor I have avoided most throughout my life, I hate him.

he's got quite the Razzie collection

i just dont like his face or his idiot smirk

Aerosmith's New Album is called Sloppin' On Joe-Joe

― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, June 22, 2022 1:21 PM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

https://i.imgur.com/1bqGQBP.png

hahahhahaa

lmfao

Idiot smirk
From the Grand Coulee Dam to the sloppy joe

Where did you come from sloppy-eyed joe

All my memories sloppy joes yeah
Blue ridge mountains sloppy joes and rivers
Life is old there, filled with sloppy joes
Younger than the mountains, sloppy sloppy joes

The joe is sloppay
Mmm-mmm
The joe is sloppay, yeah
Mmm-mmm

Gs up
Joes down
While you motherfuckers slop to this

honkin on bobo thread is thattaway folks

In light of the horrifying SCOTUS news this week, a terrible idea for an exploitation style flick popped into my head:

The year is 2023, and the only thing that can stop the fascists is...

A GOOD BABY WITH A GUN

Tagline: "It's not just my diaper that's loaded."

A vegan option called the "Sloppy Jane"

A shards of glass sandwich for supreme court justices called the "sloppy jane"

wrong thread

In light of all of these rugged online menswear brands (Buck Mason, Mack Weldon, Taylor Stitch) I was thinking there should be an online brand of pants called "Dick Outlynes"

Five ZZ Top tribute bands that are each named after one of the other quarks (up, down, charm, strange, and bottom). Each band is themed after the quark it's named after.

A videogame themed bar that only serves shots, called First Person Shooter.
A videogame themed bar that only serves shots - but whatever you order, the bartender gives the shot to someone else and you have to watch them down it while looking over their shoulder from five metres away - called Third Person Shooter.

eminem opens a bar next to his (vilely named) restaurant, "Mom's Spaghetti."

The bar's schtick is that you only get one shot.

Like, really, you try to order another shot (or two shots at a time) and the bartender says "you only get one shot."

"Aw, man, why do we have to be Bottom Quark?"

flying for the first time in years last month made me want to make a bunch of those dumb joe biden "i did that!" stickers that idiots put on gas pumps, but with pictures of bin laden and the shoe bomber for people to stick on all the TSA screening machines.

xxp and next to the bar there's a shop that sells trombones so you don't miss your chance to blow.

A Boris Johnson themed driving school called Them's The Brakes.

xxp and next to the bar there's a shop that sells trombones so you don't miss your chance to blow.

― Being cheap is expensive (snoball), Sunday, July 3, 2022 10:00 AM (six days ago) bookmarkflaglink

Or a glory hole in the bathroom that says this

truck vulvas

I just heard about “How to Build a Sex Room” on Netflix and now I think I want “This Old House…After Dark”

Like how to properly install a mirrored ceiling and why you might not wanna use drywall anchors for that contraption

naus. Homie. "This Old House Party" is what you need.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GB2enUa177g

That was great!

a bakery / deli called Schmearway to Levain

I just heard about “How to Build a Sex Room” on Netflix and now I think I want “This Old House…After Dark”

― john shopkins (naus), Monday, July 11, 2022 12:15 AM bookmarkflaglink

lol, one of my main notes after watching the show was that i wish the host did more Bob Villa type stuff. "how's this st. andrew's cross coming along, alex?" "it's looking pretty good, as you can see we've located the wall studs and marked them in pencil, and that's really important because we want to make sure there's no chance of this thing coming loose..." etc.

"I've got this lock on the cage hooked up to the solar panels. Soon as it sees daylight, it unlocks itself. We're just having a little fun here."

"Well how come you don't just connect it to something like Google Home? That way, you can just pop it open at 6 a.m. or whenever."

"Not liking that, Bob. Trying to stay off the grid here."

cyberpunk remake of The Lost Boys titled The Lost Bots.

in order to properly gauge the terribleness of this idea we must know whether there are vampire robots involved