your terrible ideas

what about a dispensary called "home de pot"

or POT DEPOT

has there been a weed kingpin called the pot despot? if not i may have to claim the title for myself. except i don’t smoke or anything. perhaps i should take up pottery and throw down with forks (lol get it, throw, like pottery) for the title of ilx’s pot despot. except fuck fucking with clay, my hands are dry enough already. i guess forks wins this round. get it, round, like a pot?

this post has been brought to you by a series of terrible ideas.

An action film, but arty/snobby, so instead of lots of explosions you get lots of implosions.

That’s just Magnolia

has there been a weed kingpin called the pot despot?

There was Pol Pot.

A remake of Texas Chainsaw Massacre as a period piece set in the 19th century; instead of a chainsaw, Leatherface runs around with a hacksaw making "VRR, VRR" noises.

... or perhaps he and his brother each hold either end of a two-man saw.

A noodle bar where they play loud drum & bass music all the time, called "Ramen Break"

in middle school our 7th grade teacher wanted us to do a report on the Israel-Palestine conflict.

my original idea was going to be taking the song "River of Dreams" and doing a Weird Al parody that went

In the middle eaaaaast
they were fightin' over there

and all of the lyrics were about the conflict.

I showed what I wrote to my brother and he said "that's really stupid", so I scrapped it.

a year later I tried to do another Weird Al type parody of Stone Temple Pilots "Sex Type Thing" called "Food Type Thing" and I just found a copy of the file today, and it went...

"I am, I am, I am
I said a want a double whopper please
I want a double whopper without cheese
you wouldn't want me go to Mickey D's
Mickey D's

I know I want a Number 9
I know I"d like a Number 9
I know the Whopper comes with fries
I know I know I know"

brother also said that was stupid....so I stopped

seems your brother fears losing you to monumental success

In 8th Grade History I did a song about Mohammed to the tune of “Mother by Pink Floyd”

Mohammed do you think they’ll write the Koran
Mohammed do you think you should start Islam

Something like that

I want to see a line of novelty t-shirts in the vein of the "big johnson" ones called "BALLS OUT" that are absolutely literal with no innuendo or double entrendre whatsoever.

So the shirt on display at whatever the current equivalent of Spencer Gifts will say something like "BALLS OUT YOGA" with a somewhat realistic drawing - in the style of, say, Dave Berg or Mort Drucker" - of a guy doing yoga with his scrotum accidentally dangling out. No one in the drawings will be reacting in any way to the situation.

I sang a song about minerals in 6th grade. It was called mineral man, and although I wrote the lyrics beforehand I did not bother to think of how the sing went. I sang the song and around the room pointing my fake mineral gun lasers at fake minerals, blasting them into smaller fake minerals. The class cracked up and the boys thought I was a hero for the day; the girls understood that I was at least 6-8 years away from puberty and I became everyone’s weird little brother

heardle clone where all the tracks are autechre

I'm pretty sure I'd be better at autecheardle than at heardle

A porn magazine called MASSIVE MELONS, but it’s fully clothed middle aged men with enormous heads.

Following on from 'hot yoga', a health concept called 'Hot Yoghurt'. Basically a room with the heating cranked on full where people are served tubs yoghurt that have been microwaved.

A song advertising sloppy joes sauce that uses the melody from the chorus of “Take Me Home (Country Roads),” with just the words “sloppy joes” sung over and over again.

Sloppy joes
sloppy joes
sloppy joes
sloppy joo-ooooes
sloppy joes yea
sloppy joes
take me home
sloppy joes”

lol

i like this terrible idea, and suspect that jd's immortal melody will graft itself to every three-syllable phrase that arises in my mind for the foreseeable

oh god

oh no

what have you done

Bill Danoff's melody

letting the joes go by, let the sloppies hold the joes
letting the joes go by, sloppies flowing under joes
into the joes again, into the sloppy joes
under the sloppy joes, there are sloppies under joes

Aerosmith's New Album is called Sloppin' On Joe-Joe

I mean Adam Sandler kinda had a song like this on his first album

I have never heard anything beyond the Hanukkah song and the stuff from the Wedding Singer. Adam Sandler might be the actor I have avoided most throughout my life, I hate him.

he's got quite the Razzie collection

i just dont like his face or his idiot smirk

Aerosmith's New Album is called Sloppin' On Joe-Joe

― Doctor Casino, Wednesday, June 22, 2022 1:21 PM (eight hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

https://i.imgur.com/1bqGQBP.png

hahahhahaa

lmfao

Idiot smirk
From the Grand Coulee Dam to the sloppy joe

Where did you come from sloppy-eyed joe

All my memories sloppy joes yeah
Blue ridge mountains sloppy joes and rivers
Life is old there, filled with sloppy joes
Younger than the mountains, sloppy sloppy joes

The joe is sloppay
Mmm-mmm
The joe is sloppay, yeah
Mmm-mmm

Gs up
Joes down
While you motherfuckers slop to this

honkin on bobo thread is thattaway folks

In light of the horrifying SCOTUS news this week, a terrible idea for an exploitation style flick popped into my head:

The year is 2023, and the only thing that can stop the fascists is...

A GOOD BABY WITH A GUN

Tagline: "It's not just my diaper that's loaded."

A vegan option called the "Sloppy Jane"

A shards of glass sandwich for supreme court justices called the "sloppy jane"

wrong thread

In light of all of these rugged online menswear brands (Buck Mason, Mack Weldon, Taylor Stitch) I was thinking there should be an online brand of pants called "Dick Outlynes"

Five ZZ Top tribute bands that are each named after one of the other quarks (up, down, charm, strange, and bottom). Each band is themed after the quark it's named after.

A videogame themed bar that only serves shots, called First Person Shooter.
A videogame themed bar that only serves shots - but whatever you order, the bartender gives the shot to someone else and you have to watch them down it while looking over their shoulder from five metres away - called Third Person Shooter.

eminem opens a bar next to his (vilely named) restaurant, "Mom's Spaghetti."

The bar's schtick is that you only get one shot.

Like, really, you try to order another shot (or two shots at a time) and the bartender says "you only get one shot."

"Aw, man, why do we have to be Bottom Quark?"

flying for the first time in years last month made me want to make a bunch of those dumb joe biden "i did that!" stickers that idiots put on gas pumps, but with pictures of bin laden and the shoe bomber for people to stick on all the TSA screening machines.

xxp and next to the bar there's a shop that sells trombones so you don't miss your chance to blow.

A Boris Johnson themed driving school called Them's The Brakes.