your terrible ideas

Roy Ayers - Everybody *hates* the sunshine

a game show where contestants are locked into different extreme environments, and they have to successfully guess someone's charades-style word or phrase five times before they are let out. each successful guess pays for someone's knee replacement surgery. the game show is called Guess Them a Knee.

Roy Ayers - Everybody *hates* the sunshine

― Agnes, Agatha, Germaine and Jack (Willl), Monday, 17 January 2022 23:24 (yesterday) link

I lol'd at this

https://nypost.com/2022/01/19/oscar-mayers-new-bologna-face-mask-new-5-skincare-mask

we let Joe Rogan keep his podcast, and the increasingly terrible guests
but! we find out what topic he can’t get enough of — I’m going with “ancient aliens constructed the pyramids, stonehenge, did a bunch of other shit” — and we add a sidekick to the show who brings up something new related to this topic whenever a guest starts talking

eventually he wants the guest to only talk about this topic, not whatever they planned to, because he’s like a dog chasing a squirrel when it comes to ancient aliens. the guests hate this

a MacGruber-like makeover of Dick Tracy. In the cold open, Dick sees Breathless Mahoney perform in a nightclub. The entire movie is Dick attempting to convince the audience that they've been grifted because Breathless Mahoney cannot sing. Many appeals to Little Face actually having a little face in proportion to his head, etc.

Avenged Sevenfold/Ben Folds Five mashup: Avenged Benfolds

Princess Crimson, a rock band of pre-teen girls doing Disney songs Robert Fripp style.

that idea has driven a big sparkly tarkus thru the dividing line between terrible ideas and the best ideas, and has defeated all others to become the greatest idea the world has ever known, kudos 2 u 🌈

Dr Dre invents a spinning top with bluetooth audio capabilities, extreme low end, and calls it the "Dre-del"

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/54093d0ae4b085cd0746fb4f/1418422367680-GWTTG09T3JORO1CUABJ8/Dr.+Dre+Hay.JPG

A horror story where someone digs up a golf course and then the land becomes haunted by golf

Native Americans dig up a golf course

xp or someone puts a rounders pitch in a cornfield and it becomes haunted by ghosts playing rounders

I just like the idea of "the spirit of golf" haunting the land. I'm not sure what this looks like

Yeah I like it

https://cdn.pixabay.com/photo/2017/10/29/12/37/golf-2899641_1280.jpg

there's a whole neighborhood here built on a golf course project abandoned due to world war. The streets run in every angle, and there are no sidewalks.

this is all the plot of The Legend of Bagger Vance iirc

er, xpost. although maybe there was a deleted town-planning scene

wtf, how is this a film?

this reminds me of the time i was tripping and spent a long time trying to find the hidden meaning in a dartboard

The plot is loosely based on the Hindu sacred text the Bhagavad Gita

wtf

let us all take heart from this tale of a mystical golf angel and be reminded that there is no idea too terrible for hollywood, amen

Warner Bros. is in prep for “Barbie,” starring Margot Robbie and Ryan Gosling and directed by Greta Gerwig, who co-wrote the screenplay with partner Noah Baumbach. They’re also at script stage on a Hot Wheels film. In July, Netflix will shoot the anticipated remount of “Masters of the Universe,” with Kyle Allen starring as the buff, blonde He-Man. Universal Pictures is at work on a horror franchise based on Magic 8 Ball with Blumhouse, and the studio is bringing Rock ’Em Sock ’Em Robots to life with Vin Diesel. At Paramount, Tom Hanks will embody his childhood favorite Major Matt Mason, the astronaut action figure, with “A Beautiful Mind” screenwriter Akiva Goldsman, and MGM will put forth Polly Pocket with writer-director Lena Dunham and star Lily Collins.

https://variety.com/2022/film/news/mattel-films-robbie-brenner-barbie-he-man-1235166459/
― rob, Saturday, January 29, 2022 9:03 AM (two weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

Polly Pocket with writer-director Lena Dunham

That's... just... wow

fuuuuuuck, is that real? what a terrible idea

i assume we're at most two years away from a Sweet Secrets movie franchise, done as overstuffed, audiovisual bombardments following the Transformers template.

Every TV show, book or film gets made into an 80s kids' cartoon spinoff:

"The Adventures of EastEnders"
"The Adventures of Frankenstein"
"The Real 12 Angry Men"
"The Old Man, The Sea and Spongey McGee!"
"The New Animated Adventures of Mansfield Park"
"Mighty Morphine Anna Karenina" etc.

Combination Legal Zoom and Cameo with which you make legal threats via celebrities

excellent

Mike Tyson v. Chestnut Hills Homeowner's Association

re: your nonstandard mailbox

Galaga except instead of shooting spaceships you smash a variety of different fruit and naturally it's called Gallagha' now

The gritty reboot of Fresh Prince of Bel Air that is actually happening (without any apparent sense of irony) seems like the kind of thing this thread would come up with

Greyonnaise - a mayonnaise that is grey.

An eating competition combined with a velodrome based bicycle race event, called the Om-nom-nom-nium. Could be popular given how many calories professional cyclists have to consume.

gaming table beds. Instead of a sofa bed, it is a "foosbed" or "pingpongbed". You just place a big hunk of wood on top with memory foam glued to it.

An episodic TV series that traces the lives of the children of different 70s TV show characters. "Son of Sheriff Lobo," "Hawkeye's Kids," etc. Most of them are unremarkable failures.

i'm into the gaming table beds. maybe a hydraulic foot pedal to raise it to game height and then lower it to sleep

angel investor?

An episodic TV series that traces the lives of the children of different 70s TV show characters. "Son of Sheriff Lobo," "Hawkeye's Kids," etc. Most of them are unremarkable failures.

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Saturday, 9 April 2022 22:39 (yesterday) link

The Fall Son

80s I guess but same idea

Wireless earbud earrings - because they're attached to your ears, they can't be easily lost. Or charged.

Namesake tribute bands - for example a Queen namesake tribute band would have a singer whose real name is Freddie Mercury, a guitarist whose real name is Brian May, etc.. They wouldn't have to look or sound anything like their famous namesakes.

that's a good idea - maybe they go up on stage and talk a little bit about what's been going on in their lives, what they're working on, that kind of thing

good evening, beatlemaniacs, i am John Winston Lennon, and i'd like to talk to you about my lawn care business

Then when they get to the 1968 era, he's replaced by a completely different guy named John Ono Lennon, who lectures about NFTs

A namesake tribute band of 'Chinese Democracy' era Guns'N'Roses would be interesting. A guy called William Rose standing at the front of the stage while two dozen people walk on and off stage behind him.

A sugarcane-based spirit, marketed to older men and supported by an ad campaign featuring the endorsement of Herbie Hancock, called "Dis is Dad Rum".

A sequel to the Woody Allen film "Zelig."

But instead of someone who can inhabit different personalities, it's someone who weighs different amounts.

"Zaftig."

Slip Inside This Mouse, a rock band of hippie burnouts doing Disney songs Thirteenth Floor Elevators style.