your terrible ideas

To really rub it in, each box would include one of those overenthusiastic "personal notes" from the founders, and starting with the second one, each one would say "Hey man, so glad you're grooving to all the tunes we've been sending. We thought you'd enjoy this one because you previously purchased [list of prior Tom Jones record(s) received ]. Hope you dig it, bro!"

lol

Oh man, starting a subscription box service where I send people random garbage I don't want a curated selection of cultural objects from my personal collection would be such a great grift way to share my interests with like-minded individuals.

So you'd be sending them....old lunch?

But the customers, they are meant to think it is NEW lunch

Either way, I will be handing them their lunch.

New-To-You Lunch

Meet the new lunch, same as the old lunch.

Just whipped up the neologism 'LunchBox' for my new service, can't believe no one else was using it.

All you need is lunch

So, like, what about a really big box store where the sign says "The Russian Nesting Doll Store."

So you go inside, and inside there's a slightly smaller store.

So you go inside THAT store, and....

Whenever getting asked what he's going as for the office Halloween party, telling co-workers he's dressing up as Al Jolson.

People either freeze in disgust or walk away or beg him to reconsider. "Nah, it's a real easy costume. All I'm gonna do is –"

Finally the big moment. Everyone makes their grand entrance and then here comes... Al Jolson.

https://i.imgur.com/OWzqU2d.jpg

ABBA-themed porn titled Waterlewd.

[boink]ing Me, [boink]ing You

Take a [bleep] on Me

Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! A [slide whistle, double bike horn honk] After Midnight

Having the (bleep) of your life

a machine that lets you sleep for the rest of your life, and then you're connected to a dream network with other people doing the permasleep and you can connect with them in various locations in your dream state and make friends and while you're in this state you're fed with like Robocop's food and stuff.

A concept album based on Empson’s Seven Types of Ambiguity (a track per ambiguity)

a machine that lets you sleep for the rest of your life, and then you're connected to a dream network with other people doing the permasleep and you can connect with them in various locations in your dream state and make friends and while you're in this state you're fed with like Robocop's food and stuff.

― Cool Im An Situation (Neanderthal), Wednesday, 17 November 2021 20:23 (two days ago) bookmarkflaglink

This is the popular 90s sci-Fi movie The Matrix, yes?

What's The Matrix?

That reminds me of the cool, fun idea I had about the time travelling machine that goes back to punish you if you don't invent it.

every gig, the time machine at your merch table.

I always thought Empson should have called the book A Bunch of Types of Ambiguity

hahaha

reminds me of a long-ago friend's mishearing of "You're So Vain" as "You're So Vague." It's possible this song is about you...

A sneakerhead offshoot trend where sneakers are collected for comfort rather than style or rarity, and the most prized kicks are the consensus most comfortable ones.

I feel like there would be a lot of opportunity for unboxing youtube videos where the "cushbeasts" (as they would be called) slip their feet into the shoes and wax about how cozy and comfy they are.

Posting "too soon" to all Macy's pix appearing in my feed tomorrow.

Metallica becomes the federal government

Sandmanifest Destiny

wait no

E Pluribus Unum Kind of Monster

^ yeah, that

For Whom the Capi Tolls

O beautiful for spacious skies
And amber Dave Mustaine

Master of Budgets

Squidieval Times franchise

A Grateful Dead cover band called Polka Round.

The t-shirts for the band say "Just Gotta Polk Around!" and feature James K. Polk as the "Shakedown Street Dude" but playing an accordion.

http://ssdd.samsbiz.com/store/image/y83a/Patches_Grateful_Dead_-_Shakedown_Street_Dude_Patch.jpg

The band does reggae covers of Dead tunes and does not play polka

http://ssdd.samsbiz.com/store/image/y83a/Patches_Grateful_Dead_-_Shakedown_Street_Dude_Patch.jpg

Smockin’

a martial art style based entirely on david lee roth's stage antics

might as well jump

A late 80s Prince themed noodle bar called Let's Get To Ramen.

start a nuclear war, get a bunch of hair metal cassettes, mislabel them Beethoven, Mozart, etc, and bury them in a bunker with their biographies so that future historians think classical music sounded like Ratt.

An online battle royale style Monopoly game, where you have to play against 99 other people, and each game lasts 4 days.

i was surprised to find a rule in the instructions about auctioning off any unowned property whenever any player lands on it. we've never played that particular rule. and i think it would solve the problem of long games, which is the thing everyone complains about.

Lol yup. I remember finding that out when I was 15 and being like WE'VE NEVER DONE IT THAT WAY to my friends

yeah, in general, Monopoly is substantially better and quicker when played by the rules (though still not great imo). it becomes a long and miserable experience, paradoxically, as people try to lighten the experience with house rules like the near-universal skipping of the forced-auction system, and the addition of the Free Parking cash bailout, which actually just drag things out. i think instinctively people want to "soften" the game, because most don't really enjoy the mechanic of players being eliminated one by one in a game that's this long. but it all just ends up prolonging everything. (i really don't like Monopoly.)

it's a shitty game

.