your terrible ideas

'Mmm, those vocals are so smooth, Marty!'

"I guess we really DID build this city on rock and roll."

Steak Tartare Pizza

Had a dream about this one just before I woke up: introducing Presimalgams, He-Man-esque action figures that mash up US presidents. Imagine a combination of Millard Fillmore and Grover Cleveland, or George W. Bush and Grover Cleveland. The possibilities are basically limitless.

what if rutherford b hayes, but with lbj's dick

feel like DT with abe's wound would be a best seller

For a metajoke I would dig Grover Cleveland with Grover Cleveland

(Because he was president twice, get it?)

first term in the front. second term in the back.

https://i.imgur.com/6NB4VXq.jpg

otm

There should be a car that runs on soup

toyota would have you believe they've done it

Any idea that gives Ted Cruz any kind of advantage over other people is absolutely a terrible idea, I agree.

Cars should run on ground up pieces of Ted Cruz

The Chevy Cruz

No no, this is the thread for terrible ideas.

Tyvek tuxedo

Got you covered (literally):
https://www.screwfix.com/p/dupont-proshield-20-disposable-coverall-white-large-39-chest-31-l/893HK?tc=ZB8&ds_kid=92700045095143830&ds_rl=1241687&ds_rl=1245250&ds_rl=1244069&ds_rl=1245250&gclid=CjwKCAiA98TxBRBtEiwAVRLquyxX7gisYxU4w9SMmo2kASA0Z-vBH2kpozMXATwEYA0pUF2SN73D7BoCTKQQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds
I can't put my finger on it, but there's a Devo-esque quality to this image.

Inverted Velcro underwear that's both deeply uncomfortable to wear and downright hellish to take off (depending on your grooming habits, natch).

a wine mail-order subscription service, which pairs a bottle each week with a new work by merleau-ponty, it's called "humanisme et terroir"

Alternatively, a similar service that includes a microbrew, a shirt, and wa new work by Hunter S. Thompson.

It would be called "Beer and Clothing."

A version of Tetris where all the blocks are the 2x2 square, and the width of the bucket is an odd number of sub-squares. So the game is essential unplayable and over very quickly.

lol

There could be a Tetris 99 onliine multiplayer version, which would just be 100 people shrugging their shoulders and going WTF?!

I'm picturing an alternative mode which is just one giant rectangle, one block narrower than the width of the board, slowly dropping and eventually filling the entire board. Except for that one empty column, of course.

And maybe have a display on the side showing that the next block up is a 1x4.

I don't think the 2x2-only game would be over very quickly. It'd quickly be too easy to be considered a game, though.

this reminds me of the time I played a pc version of tetris and for whatever reason for just this one game basically 3 out of every 4 blocks was a 4x1. I made a ridiculously high score and I never got that weird glitch again after that so there was always this completely unattainable high score.

So anyway, turn this bug into a feature in Tetris 99, make it so it happens like maybe once every 1000 games or whatever.

A version of Tetris where you wait and wait and the blocks never fall and then eventually digital rain starts to fall instead and the game board slowly fills with digital water and then like twenty minutes later one sad little block ploops into the water and slowly sinks to the bottom.

avocado insurance. you pay them a $10 premium every month (or $90 upfront for the year), and they will replace all of your large pitted, speckled, or stringy avocado purchases. you can also get coverage for damages sustained when you unknowingly give a bad avo to a friend and feel like shit about it afterward.

they pay you a day's wage while you take off work to plan how you can make it up to your avo friend or possibly decide if they will continue to be your avo friend

you can hire someone to write your resume. you should also be able to hire someone to write your peer performance reviews.

this reminds me of the time I played a pc version of tetris and for whatever reason for just this one game basically 3 out of every 4 blocks was a 4x1. I made a ridiculously high score

silverfish, I initially read "pc" as "politically correct" and I in my head I constructed a mock-indignant bit like "SEE? The snowflake libs and their participation trophies and their tender feewings make everything too easy! It's political correctness GONE MAD! Gone mad, I tell you!"

porn version of The Masked Singer called The Mast Dinger

Who are ya? Who are ya? Who's that inside my ass?

There is a subgenre of books by women who recover from the agonies of life by rescuing dogs. There is another subgenre of books by women who recover from the agonies of life by moving to Tuscany. What about a book following a woman, seeking to recover from the agonies of life, who moves to Tuscany and starts rescuing local dogs? (I've done enough research to discover that Maremma Sheepdogs are the dogs she'd be rescuing.)

Ok but only if written from a dog's point of view.

"Signora Karen, she gave us the bone from her osso bucco. Then she wept at the beauty of the sunset. Whatever, as the Americans say. I turned away and began to lick my butt."

Y'know, terrible ideas are only terrible in the wrong hands.

What I'm saying here is: kid, you got the goods.

You talkin about cans

A mobile phone case specifically aimed at lol hueg phablet users (like the upcoming Samsung S20 Ultra) that makes the phone look like an Apple Newton MessagePad.

A phone that unfailingly shreds any pocket you try to stuff it into.

Posting recordings of Bach cantatas to youtube under incorrect, fake German titles that include the word "Bieber"

BWV 742: Gottes Meine Bieber Freunde

BWV 139: Ich Bin Von Bieber Nicht Mitte Jesu

Again, this is the thread for terrible ideas.

The idea of these videos just gradually proliferating across youtube until they dominate all Bach cantata content is really getting me, especially the image of confused Bach fans and scholars commenting that the titles appear to be incorrect

BWV 72: Widergest eine Bieber, zehr geist vom zu kirchejahr

Or Bieber fans who become Bach fans thanks to these videos and disseminate these incorrect titles far and wide.

I posted some tv show opening credits with the wrong theme tunes (without labeling them as such) a few years back, it seemed to make people furious, which was the intended effect tbh.

There are many 'terrible' ideas along these lines that I would gleefully undertake if we weren't, as a society, at an all-time credulity peak and if this, our reality, weren't so close to disintegrating altogether as a result.

In phase 2, I would post videos of myself in professorial garb at a lectern, delivering plagiarized lectures on bach cantatas that sub in the "bieberized" titles

I posted some tv show opening credits with the wrong theme tunes (without labeling them as such) a few years back, it seemed to make people furious, which was the intended effect tbh.

― Wuhan!! Got You All in Check (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Thursday, February 13, 2020 11:01 AM (one minute ago) bookmarkflaglink

I love this -- are they still up?