your terrible ideas

Elaborately planned public divorce paper service videos.

(Ie in the style of proposal videos)

divorce reveal parties. everyone gathers around a cake to see if you are getting a divorce or not.

So dinner parties then

yes, but with cake color correlation

or maybe there's just raw hamburger meat inside if the thing is happening

no, the cake is always filled with beef. you modulate the fat content of the beef to indicate divorce. 90/10 means "the beef is lean in this marriage. things are going well." 80/20 means "there's fat beef between us rn, and we are divorcing."

lol

Maybe if no divorce it's an actual cake, if yes divorce it's just that ugly goddamn sweater your awful mother bought for me, wadded up and slathered in icing.

you'd have to weigh a clump of the meat and render the fat in a george foreman grill to weigh out the answer from the drip pan, which would add to the suspense.

lol Neanderthal, that is too real

How about just a gender reveal party where you reveal that you're actually getting divorced. And of course you have to do it like on a boat or something where people just have to sit and be deeply uncomfortable for another 4-6 hours.

And of course you are actually still bringing a child into a soon to be broken home, and you just kinda offhandedly mention the baby's gender at some point in hour three.

at m night shyamalan's gender reveal party, the color of the cake is a red herring. he reveals to guests that it was the boat color all along that revealed the baby's gender. (he shouts this to leaving guests through sobs, as he's also just been divorced).

also, the boat captain is satan and the baby is immortal

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/CU2vGvRXAAI5b9d.jpg

Handedness reveal parties

Done in the form of a punch to the face

A rig where your dental hygienist wears a small point of view camera while working on you and you wear VR goggles so that you can see what she sees while it’s happening to you.

I would pass out

yeah no, the inside of my mouth is basically a biological weapons facility at this point, no need to see it ucap

Have seen that but instead the dentist it was a surgeon and instead of my mouth it was my arsehole. Would recommend

https://i.imgur.com/iO92Xun.gif

a new game called "Storytellers". One player picks a card, which has an occupation printed on it. That player must say 3 descriptive sentences about that occupation that are definitely true, but are vague enough that it's difficult to tell what exactly the occupation is. The fourth sentence is always "So really, I guess you could say that I'm a storyteller." If someone guesses the occupation correctly, they get a point. If nobody guesses correctly, the storyteller gets the point. The first to five points wins, and so really, I guess you could say that they're a storyteller.

a player at 4 points, i.e. close to winning, is said to be "in the garage." when a player wins, they press a button on a little plastic speaker attached to the plastic cards receptacle and some generic blues guitar riffs play for 30 seconds.

this seems like it would be a basically acceptable/popular party game tbh

Okay so I just got a Bosch dishwasher and I think it would be fun if every time I opened it, there were a different hellish scene of ridiculously willowy demons, some with six faces, some with trumpets in their butts, and some that are chewing on each other.

Ad campaign: with a Hieronymus Bosch dishwasher, you never know what you'll see.

Get outta here with that brilliant idea, terrible ideas only. To wit, I have piles of laundry to do and a laundry room that's too far away. My eyes wander over to the dishwasher... but no, surely that's mad! Yet my gaze still lingers.

A Penthouse Forum-esque magazine filled cover to steamy cover with forbidden tales of willful HIPAA violations.

If you don't wash your hands after a slash and are caught, you have to get I AM A DISGUSTING TWAT tattooed on your butt

This is a vintage terrible idea, but my memory was jogged after seeing a Grunt Style shirt yesterday. When I was a teenager in the early 1990s, I got the idea to start a political t-shirt company. I was inspired by Michael Stipe wearing all those different t-shirts at the MTV awards.

https://s.yimg.com/ny/api/res/1.2/3gaOVVxTQuo98XVvi0v_FA--~A/YXBwaWQ9aGlnaGxhbmRlcjtzbT0xO3c9NjAwO2g9MzY1O2lsPXBsYW5l/https://67.media.tumblr.com/a694840f2e260e19ad0f658840a446c4/tumblr_inline_ocfe4ox6os1tdqyd7_1280.jpg

I felt like these were a step in the right direction, but I wanted to see something that captured my anger more (I can't remember any of my proposed slogans, thank god) and with graphics that were more stylized, like skateboard shirts. So the name of my company was going to be Bold Statements Wear, with the logo being a "B.S." on the sleeve.

RAINFOREST

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fMbYPDAaIA0

xp: see, Bold Statements Wear would have probably upgraded that SAVE THE FUCKING RAINFOREST

nah, man. he's raising awareness of the rainforest. prior to that shirt, I was unaware of the existence of rainforest.

we can destroy it all we want now that we know it exists

I want a line of t-shirts like that but it's more confident in its approach. all nouns, but followed with periods.

RAINFOREST.

But the text must be positioned such that it's still visible when the wearer is defiantly crossing their arms as if they were in the opening credits of a reality competition show.

https://www.liverpoolmuseums.org.uk/collections2015/images/3/01/66103/v0_large.jpg

would play storytellers

Litterbox’d, a site where users only review the movie version of Cats

― Conceptualize Wyverns (latebloomer), Tuesday, 7 January 2020 15:48 (two weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

genius

A Quantum Leap-esque series wherein the protagonist is tasked with making things super awkward for entertainers of the past by confronting them with their discordant future works. Like going to the Haight during a Jefferson Airplane gig and playing 'Hearts' for all assembled, that sort of thing.

'Mmm, those vocals are so smooth, Marty!'

"I guess we really DID build this city on rock and roll."

Steak Tartare Pizza

Had a dream about this one just before I woke up: introducing Presimalgams, He-Man-esque action figures that mash up US presidents. Imagine a combination of Millard Fillmore and Grover Cleveland, or George W. Bush and Grover Cleveland. The possibilities are basically limitless.

what if rutherford b hayes, but with lbj's dick

feel like DT with abe's wound would be a best seller

For a metajoke I would dig Grover Cleveland with Grover Cleveland

(Because he was president twice, get it?)

first term in the front. second term in the back.

https://i.imgur.com/6NB4VXq.jpg

otm