I think I would literally die if there were game instructions that were like:
Q: What happens when my piece lands on a black square and I'm still holding all of my magic tokens?A: I'm not sure.
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 18:27 (five years ago) link
Cronenbergian stirrups? I seriously do not know to what you refer.
There has been a vogue for children's games where a strong chance of humiliation and/or discomfort is the object - Wet Head, Shark Bite, Pop the Pig, Facepie...
But I know nothing about what grownups do for "fun" anymore except commiseration, sex, and drinking (all of which are way more fun than Pictionary or whatev).
― Rumspringsteen (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 18:28 (five years ago) link
I'm talking about this nightmare specifically:
https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ACDwFtPyZPQ/maxresdefault.jpg
Although in searching for appropriate images I'm quadruply aghast to learn that there are multiple games out there employing this technology.
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 18:32 (five years ago) link
that is disgusting
― triple-washed (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 18:51 (five years ago) link
My terrible idea is a game like this except involving something that contorts the players' buttholes into all kinds of uncomfortable configurations. I'll call it...I dunno, The Riddle of the Sphincter. I expect to be a bazillionaire by this time next year.
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 18:56 (five years ago) link
Ready, Set, Goatse!
― McGrief the Crying Dog (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 18:58 (five years ago) link
We can workshop it.
that's more an elaborate pickup line
― triple-washed (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 19:03 (five years ago) link
Lol @ lunch's riddle of the sphincter
― Rumspringsteen (Ye Mad Puffin), Wednesday, 28 August 2019 23:10 (five years ago) link
A limited edition Fanta called Fanta Black that's coloured with Vantablack (which is probably poisonous anyway).
― I only listen to Vantablack Metal (snoball), Thursday, 7 August 2014 10:32 (five years ago)
So you're such a douchebro that driving a BMW SUV isn't douchebro enough for you? Why not buy one in Vantablack?BMW unveils blackest black car sprayed with VantablackSeriously, the amount of accidents this might cause because people won't be able to see it properly or accurately be able to figure out exactly in which direction it's pointing/moving.
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 31 August 2019 09:23 (five years ago) link
If only they could make the leather seats that color, it'd be perfect for summer cruisin'.
― pplains, Saturday, 31 August 2019 11:11 (five years ago) link
Yeah the whole thing is a heat trap. Except that anyone who buys this is just going to do what practically every other SUV owner does, and drive around with the AC cranked to max.
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 31 August 2019 11:17 (five years ago) link
At least you'll be able to see the BMW when the driver turns on their blinker – o wait.
― pplains, Saturday, 31 August 2019 12:59 (five years ago) link
None more blacker
― Rumspringsteen (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 31 August 2019 13:25 (five years ago) link
A bar, open only on weekdays from 9am to 5pm, called We(don't)Work
― mom tossed in kimchee (quincie), Sunday, 1 September 2019 13:08 (five years ago) link
I like that
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 2 September 2019 03:29 (five years ago) link
ROBERT PALMER: Look, chap, I know this isn't my "jurisdiction," but I wear ties and you wear ties. We both have the same goals in mind, now don't we?
EDDIE MONEY: Fair enough. But listen – we don't bow to the Queen here in New York City. We might both wear ties, but keep in mind this is my joint, ok?
PALMER: I wouldn't dream of intruding.
[MONEY reaches into overflowing file cabinet and pulls out a folder. Tosses it to PALMER, who barely catches it.]
MONEY: Guy we're looking for is one William Martin Joel. Goes by "Billy" on the street. Wears ties, sure, but we think he's being satirical about it...
― pplains, Saturday, 14 September 2019 13:45 (five years ago) link
looool
― Sally Jessy (Karl Malone), Saturday, 14 September 2019 14:58 (five years ago) link
[PALMER opens the folder and looks at an old mugshot of Joel.]
PALMER: Any idea where I can find him?
MONEY: We know he spends a lot of time hanging around on 52nd Street.
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 14 September 2019 17:57 (five years ago) link
HFS, i swear I had no idea.
https://i.imgur.com/Rz9H636.jpghttps://nypost.com/2019/09/13/nypd-clears-up-eddie-money-cop-mystery/
Thanks to some dude for the info.
― pplains, Wednesday, 18 September 2019 13:22 (five years ago) link
Writing a letter to the local nursery called Lilliput to say that from the point of view of the children it should be called Brobdingnag.
― The Pingularity (ledge), Sunday, 22 September 2019 10:48 (four years ago) link
:D :D :D :D
― Fox Pithole Britain (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 22 September 2019 11:07 (four years ago) link
A cover version of Manfred Mann's 'Pretty Flamingo' except it's re-titled 'Placido Domingo'.
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 28 September 2019 18:41 (four years ago) link
An instrument that's a cross between a flute and a trombone, and basically looks like a brass bicycle pump.
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 28 September 2019 18:42 (four years ago) link
A service that custom-"trombonizes" any musical instrument, installing sliding hardware so that you can telescope it to and fro to change its pitch.
― mick signals, Saturday, 28 September 2019 19:41 (four years ago) link
The Tromboner®
― davey, Saturday, 28 September 2019 20:16 (four years ago) link
How about a guitar with elastic strings and a telescoping neck?
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 28 September 2019 20:34 (four years ago) link
http://www.steinberger.com/Synapse-Transcale-Integrated-Capo.html
― Instant Carmax (Ye Mad Puffin), Saturday, 28 September 2019 20:45 (four years ago) link
Wow. They've even got a bass one.
― pplains, Saturday, 28 September 2019 22:47 (four years ago) link
Superbone
The Superbone is a hybrid trombone. It has the slide mechanism of a standard trombone and the valve mechanism of a valve trombone.
I should open a shop that sells these, and call it The Superbone Zone.
― just another country (snoball), Saturday, 28 September 2019 22:58 (four years ago) link
olol
take me to The Superbone Zone
― davey, Sunday, 29 September 2019 02:08 (four years ago) link
https://i.imgur.com/AHtBLp8.gif
― pplains, Sunday, 29 September 2019 02:26 (four years ago) link
over the superbone zone, the booblight hovers
― Sally Jessy (Karl Malone), Sunday, 29 September 2019 04:31 (four years ago) link
a different version of golf called "garf." the rules of garf are exactly the same as those of golf, but a much stricter dress code is enforced in all club houses and courses. absolutely no casual wear shall be permitted. the garf itself is playacted in a public park or other open space.
― Tart Prepper (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 30 September 2019 02:54 (four years ago) link
Jazz Garf in the Park
― Sally Jessy (Karl Malone), Monday, 30 September 2019 03:44 (four years ago) link
I really need a more thorough explanation of garf
― president of deluded fruitcakes anonymous (silby), Monday, 30 September 2019 16:34 (four years ago) link
the world according to
― all over bar the shouting (im here for the shouting) (darraghmac), Monday, 30 September 2019 16:37 (four years ago) link
look, i could try to sell you on garf in this thread all day. but i think it's best we just put on kilts, don our paddy caps, lace up our cleats, grab a club (fallen tree branch), and get garfing. once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked. I shot a miserable 98 this weekend and missed my son's birthday while doing so. the damn garf ball was attracted to hazards (innocent people in the park). but i'd be out there again today if not for this damned desk job (i'd rather be garfing).
― Tart Prepper (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:01 (four years ago) link
once you make your first solid contact with a garf ball (it is imaginary), you'll be hooked
which you can get lessons to fix
― all over bar the shouting (im here for the shouting) (darraghmac), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:08 (four years ago) link
oh my, i beg your permission to use that one this weekend with the beverage cart driver (a Canada goose)
― Tart Prepper (Sufjan Grafton), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:14 (four years ago) link
xp it actually requires surgery to fix
― It is my great honor to post on this messageboard! (Karl Malone), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:19 (four years ago) link
idgi this sounds basically like miniature garf only bigger?
― The Ravishing of ROFL Stein (Hadrian VIII), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:47 (four years ago) link
sounds to me like frisbee garf but with a ball
― Instant Carmax (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 30 September 2019 17:48 (four years ago) link
"Dressed...for the nines."
― weatheringdaleson, Monday, 30 September 2019 17:55 (four years ago) link
https://i.ibb.co/qrx4PNF/60-BA7-C78-36-FC-47-FA-9-C19-CF1-F68-AF10-C8.jpg
― Philip Nunez, Tuesday, 1 October 2019 04:14 (four years ago) link
Start a rap career using the stage name Young MD. Wear scrubs and rap only about medical issues. Eventually form a rap supergroup with Young MA, Young MB*, and Young MC.
*Spotify bio: "Young MB started his career in rap primarily in the year 2017, mainly French rap. Before he saw rap as something that happened with friends soon enough, he found out that it was special and he wanted to share that with the world."
Also in the course of formulating this terrible idea I discovered that there is a rapper out there calling himself Young BM, which is a Terrible Idea.
― Hans Holbein (Chinchilla Volapük), Wednesday, 9 October 2019 07:23 (four years ago) link
A podcast on Web Assembly, called WASMgasm.
― just another country (snoball), Sunday, 3 November 2019 20:12 (four years ago) link
a remake of the TV series Gladiators, but everyone involved has to participate while wearing four inch high heels
― boxedjoy, Monday, 4 November 2019 09:13 (four years ago) link
An 18-track, 180 minute triple live drone album, where each track is a nearly identical 10-minute drone, except that as the drone fades in on the seventh track, there is a brief eruption of "Woooo!" and clapping, from the audience.
― longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Thursday, 7 November 2019 15:05 (four years ago) link
Thinking about gold foil on cakes: a dessert for rich folks that contains more in currency than you pay for the dessert. It will be considered to gauche to take any of the money.
― Bidh boladh a' mhairbh de 'n láimh fhalaimh (dowd), Wednesday, 13 November 2019 19:42 (four years ago) link