your terrible ideas

To cash in on Lion King hype, open a SoCal restaurant specializing in an Italian egg-based dish: Laguna Frittata.

https://www.opendining.net/menu/4f6fe948428cee8d050ffa93

Crank: The Musical

Cigarette smoke scented vape liquid.

I wish! Candy scented vape makes me miss cigarette smoke

There's someone on the bus to work who vapes, and they smoke up (puff up?) almost immediately after stepping off the bus, frequently resulting in me walking through a cloud of apple pie (including pastry scent) smoke. On the other hand, whenever I walk behind someone smoking an actual cigarette - despite never having smoked myself - I get nostalgic. Which seems weird - nostalgic for the days when everywhere that wasn't a workplace smelt of cigarette smoke?

A Beach Boys tribute band, but all their songs are about LARPing instead of surfing, which is achieved mainly by replacing every instance of "surf" in the lyrics with "LARP".

From the early morning to the middle of the night
Any time the LARP is up the time is right
And when the LARP is down to take its place
We'll do the LARPer's stomp, it's the latest dance craze

The limitations of this project in no way diminish my feverish enthusiasm.

https://youtu.be/G5e4UXm0jNY

Terrible late afternoon BBC1 quiz show ideas:

• Will It Rain Or Not? Contestants are shown a photograph of some sky, and they score points by correctly guessing whether or not it was about to rain.
• What Brand Of Laptop Is My Co-Host Using? Contestants score points by correctly guessing the brand of laptop that the show's co-host is using. The brand logo on the back is hidden underneath a label, so after the contestants have finished guessing, there's a nerve shredingly tense and overly drawn out bit where the co-host slowly peels off the label to reveal the logo.
• Quiz Show Banter Quiz Show. A quiz show where the contestants score points by watching a clip from a previous show, and then correctly guessing what bit of host banter came next.
• QuizzyBantz. An 'edgy' version of Quiz Show Banter Quiz Show, aimed at Millennials but patronisingly assuming that all Millenials are still 20 years old. Shown on the BBC Three YouTube channel.

haha
#2 hosted by Jo Brand and Russell Brand. With music from 90s band Laptop

Cigarette smoke scented vape liquid.

OK so a new vape shop opened in town - they also repair mobile phones, I guess to catch some of the business from the phone repair shop that also sells vape liquids - and they had an advertisement outside on their A frame for nicotine-free vape liquid. Which seems like a terrible and pointless idea. Unless there's some 420blazeit purpose for such a product that I don't know about?

In Australia nicotine containing vape liquid is illegal and yet the vape shop down the street still seems to do enough business to stay open.

Southern US version:

• Did It Rain Or Not? Contestants are shown a photograph of their yard, and they score points by correctly guessing whether or not it rained last night.

Been workshopping some Bugs Bunny reactions lately. Latest one came to me in a dream.

Bugs is a rich paranoid smug SOB living in a penthouse. He's in his bedroom, watching his closed-circuit TVs. Most of the screens are just his family watching TV, maintenance guy taking out the garbage, etc. But on one of the screens, he sees a new maid. She's very beautiful!

Bugs has been wearing a half-lidded, mouth hung open expression this whole time as we've gone back and forth to the CCTV. But when he sees his new employee, his eyes spring wide open! Then, his pupils, roll back into the top of his head and come up from the inside of his ears. His ears fold halfway at a 90º angle, toward the CCTV. His pupils, synchronized, hop to the fulcrum of his ears and then zipline down the length of his ears to the tips, not just toward the CCTV screen, but also straight toward the viewer behind the fourth wall.

As the pupils fill the screen, the viewer sees that the pupils have pupils themselves, which have now turned into red throbbing hearts.

Here was what was waiting for me on my Samsung Notes this morning (transcribed by voice):

Bugs Bunny watching circuit closed circuit television his pupils leave his eyeballs go up inside of skiers and skiers turn towards the television at a 45 degree angle and when his pupils come out of his ears go up to the fulcrum of them they zip line down to the tips of his ears closer to the camera and POV closer to the viewer so you got a better look at the closed-circuit television

Oh, I like that one.

Spin-off: is this your nearest gas station? People are shown a photo of a gas station. They must try to figure out if it is a photo of their nearest gas station.

Did It Rain Or Not? Contestants are shown a photograph of their yard, and they score points by correctly guessing whether or not it rained last night.
― pplains, Wednesday, August 7, 2019 6:28 AM (one hour ago

i feel like i grew up watching this show? Except the contestants were my parents ....

plains do your kids know this about you yet

The yard thing or the Bugs Bunny thing?

Because no.

<3

lmao the fucking bugs bunny thing, i like that you spend your time thinking such thoughts plains

thanks, boobie.

crowdsourced positive train control

jazz baseball, but it has nothing to do with ken burns

Yeah ok let’s do it

port the speed-up feature from podcast apps to music, so you can get through albums quicker

A television series about a urologist who invents time travel and then feels duty bound to track down the fathers of history's greatest monsters and give them preemptive vasectomies.

Vas Improvement?

or is that just the title of the episode in which he snips Tim Allen's dad

What a Deferens!

Maury Wills: you were going to be the father

a fantasy football + dungeons & dragons hybrid where live football prop bets replace the dice roll. it'd be like "if cam newton completes this pass, you break the witch's spell."

Drinking games where instead of alcohol it's like condiments and salad dressings.

a time killing word game called "scrapegoats". people take turns saying a real word (scrabble rules) with a single extra 'r' in it. if you hesitate, say a word without exactly one extra 'r', or mess up pronouncing the "scrapegoat" (which is what you call the words with an extra "r"), you are eliminated.

that's not a terrible idea at all

That sounds really annoying, can you please send me the GoFundMe link for your project

I actually think games might be a lucrative place to direct one's bad ideas. That horrifying monstrosity of a 'game' which I serially refuse to play where you try to pronounce words through Cronenbergian oral stirrups seems to be taking off like a shooting star.

Ah yes, brig mouth

Do both the initial word and the extra-r word have to be valid? I guess "scrapegoat" isn't a real word but both "scape" and "scrape" are. Can I just break out any old thing during this drinner party entertainment?

That horrifying monstrosity of a 'game' which I serially refuse to play where you try to pronounce words through Cronenbergian oral stirrups seems to be taking off like a shooting star.

Oh god, I hate this so much.

Every time people have tried to get me to play it I'm like, not only is there no possibility of that ever happening while I'm both conscious and alive, your eagerness to indulge in this effrontery of nature has me rethinking our continued association.

xp the scrapegoat should not be a real word. i think you are eliminated if the new scrapegoat is (in total, not parts) a real word.

Please when you are writing the instructions, include variations of the phrase 'I think' as often as possible.

if a player makes the mistake of inserting two extra 'r's, i think they are not only eliminated, they are said to have "Groats Disease" (because they made a "scrapegroat")

I think I would literally die if there were game instructions that were like:

Q: What happens when my piece lands on a black square and I'm still holding all of my magic tokens?
A: I'm not sure.

Cronenbergian stirrups? I seriously do not know to what you refer.

There has been a vogue for children's games where a strong chance of humiliation and/or discomfort is the object - Wet Head, Shark Bite, Pop the Pig, Facepie...

But I know nothing about what grownups do for "fun" anymore except commiseration, sex, and drinking (all of which are way more fun than Pictionary or whatev).

I'm talking about this nightmare specifically:

https://i.ytimg.com/vi/ACDwFtPyZPQ/maxresdefault.jpg

Although in searching for appropriate images I'm quadruply aghast to learn that there are multiple games out there employing this technology.

that is disgusting

My terrible idea is a game like this except involving something that contorts the players' buttholes into all kinds of uncomfortable configurations. I'll call it...I dunno, The Riddle of the Sphincter. I expect to be a bazillionaire by this time next year.