your terrible ideas

treat cats with some respect, it's not like they're chickens

chickens would dance if they had even 1% of the raw ability of cats. but they don't have it. and you do. < another talking point for the pep talk

if doing something that causes discomfort to one being (the cat in this case) also brings joy to literally everyone else, is it worth doing? is there some sort of decision-point tradeoff line? if it only brings joy to 5 people but discomfort to 1, is it less defensible than it brought joy to 5000? just want to have my arguments ready in case i'm ever discussing this with my cat

― Karl Malone, Thursday, December 7, 2017 1:56 PM (twenty-three minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Cat Trolley* Problems

*My cat's name is Trolley

I held off posting that for a couple weeks! Now that I know there's a market for my bad ideas I'll stop holding back

some sort of prosthetic head device for dudes who are way pumped up on hgh to use so it doesn’t look like they have tiny noggins

I think you're on to something. I've always thought that those bodybuilders who have the face of a Home Depot store manager would like the option of making that not happen.

most recently inspired by

This is possibly Lindsay Lohan’s new boyfriend and I have been staring at this photo for 5 hours straight. pic.twitter.com/JQ0MfY3TKn

— Jensen Karp (@JensenClan88) December 10, 2017

That’s viscerally upsetting

never google “hgh abuse”

unless you wonder what a human ninja turtle would look like

(immediately googles 'hgh abuse', has Cronenbergian nightmares for a week)

mh stop having ideas!

yeah it's "terrible" not "terrifying" ffs

So much wat to unpack here: http://www.vulture.com/2017/12/lindsay-lohans-muscular-korean-boyfriend.html

Wasn't trying to derail the terrible ideas thread. Just looking for a larger version of that pic.

https://i.imgur.com/EK5u4AJ.jpg

always wondered who actually drank the tennis ball water

https://i.imgur.com/7hsNCPk.jpg

I'm such a peon, I don't know if this is an airplane or a superlimo.

https://i.imgur.com/1qu2z3I.jpg

https://i.imgur.com/OkEVsBG.jpg

Oh no. I was kinda digging this guy

Man, dig on him. He can afford those foot-sock things from the money he makes doing this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sWWNQCNmlck

I don’t think he can afford half that shit

Then where's all the shit I can't afford, I ask you

https://i.imgur.com/83mt2lI.jpg

tbh you need a good foot sock thing to coax blood flow past your bulges

Dude looks like a cartoon character who used a bike pump to get swole.

my new terrible idea: someone get me some
hgh

Take Big Shaq's song "Man's Not Hot" and overdub bits of Gordon Ramsey yelling at people in "Hells Kitchen".

Shaq: "smoke trees..."
Ramsey: "YOU'VE BURNT IT!!!"

(...)

Shaq: "take off your jacket"
Ramsey: "TAKE YOUR JACKET OFF!!!"

A parody of the Tony Hawk videogames called 'Fall On Your Ass Simulator'.

check out Stair Dismount

Mornington Crescent Simulator 2018

a lighthearted, Ocean's Eleven-esque heist movie about the 9/11 conspirators

don't do that to me right before bed. I can already see the split screen star wipes on the security videos, a box cutter wobbling down a walmart conveyor belt, all set to

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4v8YQ6sU6I4

The meta-terrible idea is this is the designated bomb in an updated version of The Producers

pilot lesson montage to that music, too

A tricorder attachment for mobile phones aimed at bus users. Is that just dark coloured fabric or has a previous occupant of that seat saturated it with urine? Find out with Buscorder!

rap tribute to the artist's best buddy, sampling the chorus of "hold me" by fleetwood mac but rapping on top of it so that you hear it as "homie, homie, homie"

Silby!

I’m actually deeply unacceptable, it just rarely makes it to print

Jedward play Vladimir and Estragon in a production of 'Waiting for Godot'.

thongeralls

I think I'll go outside today

good one

Jedward play Vladimir and Estragon in a production of 'Waiting for Godot'.

― Zings Can Only Get Better (snoball), Sunday, December 31, 2017 11:24 AM (six days ago)

Genuinely love this idea, would go see.

SHOWER CURTAIN IDEAS, PATENTS PENDINGS

* Shower curtain smells like strawberries or roses or THE OCEAN whenever water hits it.

* Shower curtain glows in the dark.

* Shower curtain works like old Hypercolor shirts, changing color when wet or touched. Play on it like those new Microsoft touchscreens.

* Shower curtain with waterproof iPod pocket. (Waterproof hairnet sold separately.)

* Shower curtain with girls (or guys) that take their tops off when it gets warm, like novelty inkpens and shot glasses.

― Pleasant Plains, Monday, August 20, 2007 4:37 PM Bookmark

DAMMIT.

https://i.imgur.com/TJimYuu.jpg

lol that's so messed up

A judge judy style show about food-related offenses called Food Court

kind of surprising that hasn't been the name of a show in the format of either iron chef, top chef, or kitchen nightmares.

inkpens?

- We'll have the show be about landscaping disputes between neighbors. Call it Yard Court

- Courtyard.

- No, I said Yard Court - you know, like with a judge and everything.

Would watch all this Courts.

Ship Court