your terrible ideas

downvote button on twitter next to the like one

Internet-era version of Shocker (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shocker_(film)) where an internet troll/greasy Steve Bannon analog is sent to the electric chair. For some reason he ends up in the Internet Wires causing mayhem and murder via computers, smart phones, wearables, IoT junk, etc.

He can be played by Jack Black

Pretty sure that was the plot of Heartbeeps.

An autonomous taxi company called Tim Machine.

a Meetup group called "We Don't Lock Our Doors at Night" in which dozens of trusting, community-minded fiftysomethings go on hikes and pub crawls and kayaking trips while the organizer's henchmen rob them blind

Love that one.

Reminds me of an idea I had as a kid: start a religion called Brothers and Sisters of the Latrine where all the worshippers would flush their money and valuables into a ceremonial toilet.

I'm in

i have a jar of coffee and a jar of sugar at work. am wondering whether i should just have a jar of (coffee and sugar) pre-mixed in the correct proportion (1:1 in my case, but it would work for other ratios). would save me literally seconds twice a day.

do it

beaten to it:

https://www.cafecoffeeday.com/shop/buy/coffee-powders/coffee-premix/trist-coffee-premix-pack-of-2

> This mix contains coffee, milk solids & sugar. Just add hot water and enjoy.

(for some value of enjoy)

(last time i was in the big supermarket i noticed they were selling individual portions of (non-)milk in tiny tetrapacs. nearly bought some for the cuteness factor (except it worked out at about £13 a pint))

holy crap koogs, that's a lot of sugar!

granted, i take my coffee black, which would probably seem pretty gross to you

Uh? That's only 1 sugar per cup. My last team lead would put 4 in...

(Teaspoons, obv)

(instant coffee this is)

That's what I was assuming, although I'm interested to see what a 1:1 blend of grounds and sugar poured into a coffee filter would produce. Diabetes, most likely.

I'm guessing we are still at odds over the definition of instant coffee...

Soy sauce flavored soda water: la choy la croix

lol

A drink that makes you thirstier the more you drink it.

That's called beer! huhuhuhuhuhh

100% natural, plant-derived skincare products made from organic poison ivy.

Is it gluten-free? If so, I'm there.

My Cousin Vinny remake starring Vin Diesel. It's called My Cousin Vin Diesel

i'm in

i love the title, but i think it should The Rock

star the rock

in like vin

"My Cousin Vin Diesel, is that the new Vin Diesel movie?"
"No, it stars The Rock. You're thinking of the new remake of The Rock"

"But the movie is literally titled "The Rock Starring The Rock, are you sure?"

lol

A small brewery called Two Pashtuns and a Mash Tun

Omg

A restaurant that's both kosher and halal, called "A Two-Steak Solution."

not to take anything away from yr terrible idea but technically every kosher restaurant is also halal

You're right, the only viable solution is a single, binational steak.

maybe they sit you at your table and take your order. but then they make you move tables before service. another party sits at the original table and orders food. the food for both parties is delivered to the original table, so everybody eats at that table, and it's no big deal because this post is also a terrible idea.

Anti-Trump hats, nearly the same as his but with 44 or 46 on the side

Ruin porn: actual porn set entirely in ruins and dilapidated buildings.

or basically any porn in the USA made 2019 or later

A cover of The Human League's 'Being Boiled', with every reference to Buddha changed to Yoda and performed in a Yoda voice.

A laptop bag with 'STEAL ME I CONTAIN A LAPTOP' printed on the front in big letters, because laptop bags are usually so obviously laptop bags.

a *fact site* along the lines of verrit, only when you enter your authentication code, instead of getting an instant verification, you get something in the mail a few days later.

lol

A t-shirt that says 'SCRUB'. Maybe with an arrow pointing upwards, for the sake of clarification.

A trend where all 80s hit songs are re-released with the normal version on the A-side, and a 'mopey' version on the other which is exactly the same but sung all tired and depressed-sounding and forgetting a lot of the words

I want to start a restaurant for the people who are rude to serving staff. The food will be expensive yet mediocre (and possibly gives you food poisoning) and the waiters will be either insulting or inattentive. The restaurant will be called "Serves You Right"

Hahaha

excellent