I had to do a double take there, because in England pants = underpants. Actually that reminds me of an incident at a place where I used to work. I was talking with two of my then colleagues and there was a three/four second pause in the conversation, which was broken by the non-English* colleague saying "I need to buy some more pants", which resulted in the English colleague and myself going o______________O
(*ie from a country where pants = trousers)
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:17 (eight years ago) link
Please feel free to use that last line as a display name, anyone.
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:18 (eight years ago) link
These can be color-changing pants of the US or the UK variety. Or both.
― My Whole Existence Is Flan (Old Lunch), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:28 (eight years ago) link
A coffeemaker with a Rob Schneider voicechip that just says "makin' coffee!" over and over while it's brewing.
― My Whole Existence Is Flan (Old Lunch), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:29 (eight years ago) link
Underpants that make the siren sound and trousers that change colour - both bases covered.
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:29 (eight years ago) link
...in piss
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 13:36 (eight years ago) link
lol snoball did you both then instinctively look at his crotch
― kinder, Saturday, 9 April 2016 18:28 (eight years ago) link
No, we looked sideways at each other, then non-English colleague went "no no no I meant trousers".
― an opportunity thick enough to taste (snoball), Saturday, 9 April 2016 19:08 (eight years ago) link
cover of I'm Waiting For The Man except instead of going to a bad neighbourhood to buy heroin it's about downloading an mp3 from a website that looks like it might infect your computer with malware
― reader, if you love him so much why don't you marry him? (DJ Mencap), Thursday, 14 April 2016 05:24 (eight years ago) link
I'm writing a novella tentatively called "Rape God: A Comic Fantasy"
― larry appleton, Sunday, 17 April 2016 03:11 (eight years ago) link
conservative luxury menswear brand called Carl Marks
I actually think this might be a brilliant idea.
― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Monday, 18 April 2016 17:25 (eight years ago) link
oh, guess you can't make this shit up
http://carlmarks.com/
― human life won't become a cat (man alive), Monday, 18 April 2016 17:26 (eight years ago) link
a memorial service that erects a 'footstone' on the point on the earth's surface diametrically opposite to your gravesite
― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:11 (eight years ago) link
A country song called "The Privilege Check is in the Mail"
― JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:16 (eight years ago) link
lol
― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:21 (eight years ago) link
OMG @ the actual thing that Carl Marks is.
― Your Ass Is Grass And I Will Mow It With My Face (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:33 (eight years ago) link
It's like that time when entrepreneurs Will Adle and Geoffrey Fiddler used the combination of their last names as the name of their Jewish rights organization.
― Your Ass Is Grass And I Will Mow It With My Face (Old Lunch), Wednesday, 27 April 2016 23:39 (eight years ago) link
a turntable with a large bowl above a non-adjustable tracking force weight. parents can fill this bowl with vegetables to be sure their hipster child cannot listen to records until he has eaten his vegetables.
― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 21:04 (eight years ago) link
or you can fill it with cat food and have Bob Seger alarm you that your cat is low on food
― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 21:05 (eight years ago) link
maybe the bowl has a heating element so that you can boil water and use it as an alarm for a duration set by the amount of water you put in
― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 21:08 (eight years ago) link
something similar to those nerd merchandise box things (lootcrate, etc) where you get a random selection of items related to your interest, but for stoners
doobcrate
― μpright mammal (mh), Wednesday, 4 May 2016 21:11 (eight years ago) link
http://i.imgur.com/5qqhMXK.jpg iirc
― I look forward to hearing from you shortly, (Karl Malone), Wednesday, 4 May 2016 21:13 (eight years ago) link
http://cdn1.theweedblog.com/wp-content/uploads/skywalker-og-marijuana-strain1.jpg
― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, 4 May 2016 21:15 (eight years ago) link
a multidisciplinary meta sports league called Skill that sends its representatives to different sporting events to judge the teams based on their adherence to proper form rather than how many goals they've scored. the NBA might award the Hawks a 115-to-104 victory over the Celtics, but the Skill judges, taking into account the quality of every pass, jump, and guard, might award the Celtics an 827-to-784 victory in the same game. the Skill scoring system will be scaled so that you can compare the best basketball team to the best air hockey team or the best tennis player to the best conkers player, and Skill awards ceremonies will be a zoo of athletes who would otherwise have nothing to do with each other.
― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Tuesday, 10 May 2016 14:49 (eight years ago) link
I'm not sure how Skill judges would deal with sports like gymnastics and dance where athletes are already judged solely on form. I guess they'd just cosign the official scores.
― small doug yule carnival club (unregistered), Tuesday, 10 May 2016 14:55 (eight years ago) link
I conceived a web series called "Dad Patrol" in which a group of vigilante dads show up where teenagers are making trouble and embarrass them.
― JWoww Gilberto (man alive), Tuesday, 10 May 2016 14:58 (eight years ago) link
― Sufjan Grafton, Wednesday, May 4, 2016 4:05 PM (6 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink
Thanking you for now hearing a loop of Seger singing "hey man your cat is out of food" to the tune of 'Old Time Rock n' Roll'.
― Peanut Duck (Old Lunch), Tuesday, 10 May 2016 15:00 (eight years ago) link
a comic book with a story identical to that of batman but the bored rich guy instead uses his wealth to cheat at sports and break records
― bonita pooleymoon (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, 19 May 2016 18:36 (eight years ago) link
t-shirt saying NO FUTURE but the FUTURE part is crossed out
― μpright mammal (mh), Thursday, 19 May 2016 19:20 (eight years ago) link
Remake of Eraserhead spliced together out of footage from Eraser and Head.
― sisterhood of the baggering vance (Doctor Casino), Thursday, 19 May 2016 21:36 (eight years ago) link
a gift for one of my friends whom I after a fun weeknd in Hamburg's St. Pauli quarter jokingly call "saint poundy" consisting of among other things: an Ezra Pound collection, pound cake, one pound sterling... other terrible suggestions welcome
― niels, Friday, 20 May 2016 07:55 (eight years ago) link
A cassingle of Van Halen's Poundcake
― www.ramenclassaction.com (man alive), Friday, 20 May 2016 14:12 (eight years ago) link
Here you go:
http://www.ebay.com/sch/i.html?_from=R40&_trksid=p2050601.m570.l1313.TR0.TRC0.H0.Xvan+halen+poundcake+single.TRS0&_nkw=van+halen+poundcake+single&_sacat=0
― www.ramenclassaction.com (man alive), Friday, 20 May 2016 14:13 (eight years ago) link
A Pound Puppy doll. One-seventh of a DVD of the movie Seven Pounds. And you should probably have his car im-'pound'-ed. If he's really your friend, he'll get the joke.
― Peanut Duck (Old Lunch), Friday, 20 May 2016 14:58 (eight years ago) link
the works of chuck tingle.
― goole, Friday, 20 May 2016 16:43 (eight years ago) link
A website devoted exclusively to video footage of people's necks while they're swallowing.
― Corn Elephant, Jr. (Old Lunch), Friday, 20 May 2016 17:46 (eight years ago) link
Starting a girl group that sound like yr boring ellee goldings or whatever but its cover versions of riot grrrl classics
― the internet's most cossetted petulant manbaby (a hoy hoy), Friday, 20 May 2016 18:09 (eight years ago) link
Pussycat Dolls (ft. Will.I.Am) - 'Suck My Left One'
― Corn Elephant, Jr. (Old Lunch), Friday, 20 May 2016 18:13 (eight years ago) link
Good advice itt, thx
― niels, Saturday, 21 May 2016 08:14 (eight years ago) link
a tiny bottle bank in which to dispose of your used nitrous oxide canisters
― koogs, Friday, 27 May 2016 08:23 (eight years ago) link
aka the gutter of my street
― kinder, Friday, 27 May 2016 11:39 (eight years ago) link
A lavish, big budget feature film entitled Snow White and the Seven Dorfs, starring Tim Conway.
― Wet Food (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 May 2016 11:59 (eight years ago) link
co-starring Steven Dorff
― kinder, Friday, 27 May 2016 13:28 (eight years ago) link
Like maybe there's just six Dorfs for most of the movie and the audience is like, what's up with that, but then Steven Dorff briefly pokes out from behind a chair and waves at the camera and then everyone is all like, ah and there's the seventh Dorf(f), you got us but good.
― I Have A Hot Dog Stuck To My Neck (Old Lunch), Friday, 27 May 2016 13:34 (eight years ago) link
an online service tentatively titled KEEP READING that somehow based on user data or something maps out interest in novels by page (like some novels really only start once you're past the first 70 pages of establishing or maybe the initial crisis/murder/plot-starting-mechanism occurs at page 92) and so when you're reading a novel that seems decent but also you're like "I wonder if it gets better" or "I wonder if it's gonna stay this way or if it kinda like starts soon" you just look it up on KEEP READING which will tell you how far you have to get into the work of art at hand (come to think of it could also be a movie but then would call it KEEP LOOKING) before it gets going and so if you're close you keep reading and if you're past it you put the book down
now that would be handy
― niels, Tuesday, 31 May 2016 13:32 (eight years ago) link
A Viagra commercial featuring 70s Miles Davis music with the tagline "Get It Up With It"
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Wednesday, 8 June 2016 03:11 (eight years ago) link
a thread called 'ilxors u don't miss' where we list current posters' old DNs
― because moms and because dads (Sufjan Grafton), Friday, 10 June 2016 18:27 (eight years ago) link
"There Will Come Soft Tweets" -- a sci-fi short story told in tweets among fictitious presidential candidates and pundits, all of whom turn out to be bots tweeting eternally about an election that never takes place since there are no more humans.
― socka flocka-jones (man alive), Monday, 13 June 2016 19:36 (seven years ago) link
How long until there's some Trump related parody of POTUSA's "Lump"? That seems like a terrible idea.
― joygoat, Sunday, 26 June 2016 18:02 (seven years ago) link
Google 'POTUSA's "Lump"' - it's the first result.
― I'm part of the 48.1 percent (snoball), Sunday, 26 June 2016 18:12 (seven years ago) link