no boys allowed in the room!!!!

I added you, branwell! I think I'm douxjesus666 on duolingo.

I will install duolingo this weekend, I will I will. I think it would be good for me to have an aim, even if only small, to get me out of this malaise-in-stasis. Feeling incredibly shitty but with no real focus to be able to express on the mental illness threads so am posting irrelevantly here as a sort of refuge. Sorry.

having an aim is essential!
has anyone tried those period undies? http://www.shethinx.com/
i am thinking about trying them. last time i did this with a period product (the product known as "instead") i almost wound up in the ER but i doubt anything that horrible could happen with period undies.

I have no experience with them, but they look pretty good. I have incredibly heavy periods so would probably be good for night time use in addition to sanitary towels which often aren't actually enough for a full sleep (I have never ever used tampons b/c toxic shock paranoia).

I used to use tampons but started to think they were prolonging the event by plugging rather than absorbing. If I try the undies I'll report back.

duolinguists, if a soybombyx follows/friends you, it's me!

I have followed you both back.

Annoyed by Duolingo's new habit of springing new words in the "match pairs" or review sections when it has never actually told you what they mean. And now I'm into verbs, I really really keenly feel the need for some grammar. But I get no grammar, just cute dolphin pics. :(

I have joined as La_Duffeldorf (turns out I actually had an old account, probably tried to learn Spanish for going to Primavera and then forgot about it, though it doesn't seem to have any info on what I was doing before).

Might try to search out a good German grammar site too for B & the other of us who like theory as well as practice. Wish I'd bought that TEFL book which gives an overview of points of divergence from English in various languages, it's written to know what your student might struggle with but in the process gives some straightforward tips about grammar, pronunciation etc. Was one of my favourite texts during the course b/c it really allowed me to dip in to my curiosity about languages and see patterns both micro and macro.

That sounds like a really interesting book.

I am never going to get my head around German gender. :-/ Not to mention there really is no way to do gender neutral language in German. Singular "they" already is She.

Turns out it's not that expensive (in comparison to most textbooks), so I think I am going to pick a copy up even though I'm not teaching at the moment: Learner English

In some ways I like that 'Sie' is both she and they, as a default to the feminine is pretty cool, considering masculinity is the traditional baseline for discourse in English. However, I totally get that it's shit not to have gender neutral possibilities (unless you use 'that'? I do know someone who identifies as 'it' but I think a lot of people wouldn't want to be pigeonholed into that). Also gender of words drove me crazy at school, it's all so arbitrary, French and German don't even agree, how are we meant to remember and what is even the point?!

hey yall im participating in the NNAF bowlathon for reproductive justice and i am shameless. i'm bowling for richmond reproductive freedom project who are doing AMAZING world-changing work. i'm offering rewards if people donate $! mixtapes, hand-knitted stuff, and en vogue tshirts. other things negotiable. i've met my goal but am currently trying to take over the world tbqqh.
check it out:
my blog: http://clbrtr.tumblr.com/post/141563695392/help-me-raise-for-reproductive-justice
personal page on bowlathon site: http://bowlathon.nnaf.org/participantpage.asp?userid=14519#.Vvf7oOIrLIV

thank you for reading!

Girls, I'm in a bad place. Someone in my life that I'm very close to is sick, in a potentially terminal way. Sometimes ILX is really supportive towards people in situations like this, but for whatever reason, I'm not one of the people that ILX chooses to be support-y or understand-y towards, most of the time, so I don't really feel comfortable going into it here.

So I'm stretched really thin, emotionally, and I have no wiggle-room for dealing with fuckery. And boy, did the fuckery hit hard, at exactly the wrong time. I've had a lifetime of being shamed and mocked, by dudes, for ~liking music in the wrong way~ (read: being a girl who has the audacity to like music in public) and usually I will fight them on this, but right now I am so brittle and upset over the other thing, the Big Thing, that I don't have the emotional room to engage with anything without screaming or bursting into tears.

This is not a nice place to be right now, so having a bully jumping up and down on my sore spot is really not something I have the capacity to deal with. I don't want to do a flounce, but I'm in a really bad place, and this place is making it worse at the moment. Take care, girls.

Really sorry to hear that... I've been blissfully unaware of any recent threads of twattery and i'm going to keep it that way. Hope you and they have support irl.

Really sorry to hear this, Branwell. Hope you and your person do as well as you can, and I'm thinking of you.

FWIW, I've just seen your post on the WGW thread and you are bang on the money there. Have literally no idea why people think that sort of thread is funny or contributes anything worthwhile to the boards.

Take care Branwell, best wishes for you and your someone.

That whole thread is totally baffling but I guess at least if it keeps being bumped I should eventually remember to get round to an album I am already pretty sure I'll love. (There would be better ways to achieve this though obv)

branwell, i'm so sorry to hear that. i don't know what's up w/the fuckery, but i can relate to the excruciating sadness of a dear friend being terminally ill--i went through that with my oldest friend a month ago. mentioned it on one of the cancer threads when he was diagnosed but i don't really post much here, so i didn't mention it otherwise. tbh, i couldn't handle posting about it--there was just this blinking cursor, and no words.

i hope that the potentially terminal part of it becomes not-terminal. it's utterly heartbreaking to lose someone you're close to, to even think about it. it's a really awful and gut-wrenching place to be. take good care of yourself.

I'm not one of the people that ILX chooses to be support-y or understand-y towards, most of the time, so I don't really feel comfortable going into it here.

I'm sorry you feel that way, in that, I know the feeling, and it really sucks. You've always struck me as a resilient person, and I bet your friend is fortunate that you are there for them.

otm

best thoughts to you & yr friend

im so sorry to hear it branwell, and im thinking of you and sending all the positivity your and your friend's way.

Hey girls. My "person" has had their operation, and the prognosis is good.

Oh, let's stop with the vagueness. The "person" is my Mother, and she has cancer. She had the offending organ removed this week, and the oncologist says that it was very early, stage 1, so the signs are good, and that's really positive, but it's a waiting game to see if it resurfaces or spreads; though the initial indication is that she will make a full recovery. You all know how close I am to my Mum, so I hope you understand how worrying and upsetting and destabilising this has been for me. I knew I was upset and wound up, but I didn't even realise to tense and on-edge and freaking-out-over-everything I had been until it was over, and I could breathe again. Compounded by the fact of family difficulties (knowing that certain members of my family like to surveil my social media, and use any information gleaned for super-negative purposes) so I couldn't even talk about it, or blow off steam in my usual manner.

But sometimes having a "support" removed makes you realise that it is not a support at all. What happened on that ILM thread was toxic, grotesque and utterly uncalledfor. There's no excuse for that shit, ever. But to be exposed to that level of toxicity and grossness ON THE MORNING I FOUND OUT MY MOTHER HAD CANCER was I guess kind of a no-going-back moment, for me. It's not fun, and there's nothing that can make that shit worth it.

Thanks for the good thoughts. I'm going to take care of my Mother - and myself. This whole thing made me go to the doctor for the first time in three years, so there's that. Take care of yourselves. x

Love to you, Branwell. I definitely understand your reasoning. If you want to keep in touch with me for chats or venting or anything, I'm on twitter and my ilx mail should work. No pressure to do so, obvs.

<3 to your mom, and I hope you all have a peaceful and easy go of it

I hated my mom so much when I was a teen and now she is the only thick & thin support I have.

Branwell - sending all the love to you. <3<3<3

hi y'all
hope all is well

1) how about this http://www.pbs.org/newshour/rundown/pelvic-exams-for-healthy-women-have-no-proven-benefit-u-s-panel-says/
2) i am volunteering for GR!Chicago and am super excited about it
3) sarahell and i hung out! i enjoyed it a lot and it was really fun to talk with her about drumming. i have thought back to the conversation numerous times since then.

im so excited youre volunteering for GR!Chicago!!!!

im working at GR!RVA for the first time this year and its weird (but cool) to be at a new camp

Yeah I'm really psyched about it. I even volunteered for load-in because I know it'll be fun manual labor that helps me practice something I need to practice. Totes into the vibe & glad to be putting my teaching skills to use while learning a ton at the same time. Can't wait!!

I actually had a moment of extreme gratitude thinking about inclusive spaces like GR and DDPP being in more small cities than you'd expect.

i got voted onto the board of the GRCA (girls rock camp alliance) this year (which is a huge trip for me by itself) - it's amazing how many camps there are, and new ones popping up all the time. camps in peru, sweden, iceland, poland...

S. Henn1es -- whom we were talking about at that bar just got a significant music grant and I thought of you! I'm glad we finally met! Next time, we will make time for thrift shopping and jam session.

yeeeess
to follow up on that convo - i got a new bass pedal (single, not double) and it has made a lot of difference, so glad i bought it! also i bought the floor model so i got 10% off :)
also just heard about the abovementioned grant
how about that!!

feel like i need to tell someone this

i just went out to a show where i saw this really tall metalhead dude who had young damon albarn's face?? its possible someone specifically designed this as an elaborate hologram/trap to bring me down

haha! i know that feeling.

oh my god guys i just want to say i love maria bamford and i loved lady dynamite
and related a little too hard to it

i need to watch it, i really love her

http://www.theonion.com/article/man-entirely-different-misogynist-online-real-life-53328

^^this cracked me up, after years of being told "he's different irl" about dudes who are dickbags to me online, this is basically exactly the picture i imagined of them irl

omg i love that the location is chattanooga because that little burg is a hotbed of nazi-cosplaying trolls tbh

oh man i have been on a 'long form' improv team since jan. that is me and 6 dudes and one other woman
already established before i was in it
tbh when i first started on the team i was like 'YOU GUYS CAN'T JUST LIKE MAKE ME A MOM IN EVERY SCENE'
they know i am an sjw feminist whatever
anyway i can't tell if i just need a break or if i am like 'fuck the dudes on this team' but i want to quit this team even tho i love doing that untrendy ol' 'prov

- a dude was drunk calling/texting/messaging to say how much he loves me, how he is in love w/me, would do anything for me, feelings NOT reciprocal, would not stop even tho i was very clear in saying, unflinchingly,'that s not ok please stop' --- apparently he has been doing this to every woman at the theater for like 2.5 years...why not give deal w/him if he is a known problem ??

- the one like BIG rule in improv is basically 'don't straight up shoot the fuck down everything the other ppl set up' aka 'yes, and...' --- i came on as a character in a scene and the guys on stage said, 'oh she's crazy don't listen to anything she says' and i said, like trying to keep it a real reaction, 'stop gaslighting me,' and they said, 'we're not gaslamping you' 'i said gaslighting' 'right we're not gaslamping' like the perfect little synecdoche of being on this team, getting gaslighted about the word 'gaslighting'

- we did a show 2 weeks ago which our coach said was 'the only show he was ever ashamed of' because it was 'a half hour of shitting on women,' which was true...and not fun to be the woman representing that in scenes, like...no really bad stuff you hear about like being a literal sex object on stage but just getting called stupid, fat, ugly, in every scene...a running gag where a guy barfed after everything i said or every time he looked at me...a scene in which a guy was comparing the other woman to an oreo who had been licked too many times...how i tried to deal with this (bcz you can't walk off midshow and just be like 'fuck this'), is i did a scene as robert plant talking to the oreo guy, saying i loved comparing women to objects like cars so maybe he could help me write some new songs, and THAT hurt everyone's feelings...gosh,,,'i'm a feminist, i wasn't trying to objectify anyone'

typing this all up i am definitely like 'oh yeah i should just peace out'

fuuuuucking hell those dudes are really on some 10th grade level ish

no shame in peacing out of that nightmare

Some thoughts: I think that not just peacing out but rage-quitting would be totally justified. But, when you go...

1) call or email the other woman and see if she's up for some 2-person double act comedy riffing

2) if the coach was that embarrassed, hit them up, to see if they know any ppl who are not ütter buffoons who would be up for starting an actually funny improv group?

Hey girls. Some catch-up:

1) Looks like my Mum beat cancer. Yay! She's coming to spend Christmas with me (well in a fancy hotel near me).

2) so it turns out fibroids are only the second worst pain a human body can produce. Number one? Kidney stones. Ow ow ow ow ow.

3) has the thread talked about the Ghostbusters reboot? Like at all? Specifically, on a level of 1 to Garden Party at Sissinghurst, how gay are we for Dr J Holtzmann? I did not know it was possible to somehow combine Lesbian Hair and Physicist Hair but fuck yeah can we get some radioactivity in the air for you and me, baby?

Abbs it's hard enough to find and join stuff like that without it constantly shitting all over you, it's like they've taken that away from you which is totally UNFAIR but agree that it would be good to see if you can find something without the douches?

B: 1) great news!
2) I have indeed heard that. Hope you get it sorted soon.
3) not seen but my friend wrote a big rant on facebook about 'I don't know why it's being lauded as a feminist statement' which I didn't think it was (also don't judge things on marketing) but she found it UNFUNNY

Despite it being a one-joke affair I am enjoying @manwhohasitall on twitter and while I'm at it I think some of this thread might enjoy @paprbckparadise

ABBZ -- re: harassment -- there's an org here that is trying to spread to other cities and may be of some help to you. i read about it in the local weekly and here is their website http://www.goodnightoutcampaign.org

re your troupe members -- idk what to do but to commiserate. the people i have been playing with are great, but we were a last minute add to a show on wednesday (i didn't look up who else was playing before agreeing, it was my first time playing a real nighttime show with this band, i was excited!). when i found out the names of the other bands i was kind of disappointed and depressed (i am sparing details because this is a public forum but you know how to find me for deets) anyway, the result was that 2/3 of the other bands we played with talked about their dicks on stage. they did not make any conversation whatsoever with any of us off stage. (personal policy: as far as talking about yr dick goes, talking about it from the stage prevents your audience from being able to respond if they'd prefer not to hear about it and therefore is not acceptable. in face to face conversation, a person would have the opportunity to respond.) on the upside, i have never seen or heard of any of these people before and don't expect to ever see them again.

glad to hear about your mom branwell! it's good to hear positive stories about people crushing c_____r instead of the other way around

hey thanks y'all, i have like 3 other teams i am on that do not make me angry so i will just stick to them

B'well, grats to you and your mom! <3

"I did not know it was possible to somehow combine Lesbian Hair and Physicist Hair but fuck yeah can we get some radioactivity in the air for you and me, baby?"

I want to BE her oh my jod.
I came into gbusters w low expectations but it blew them out of the water. so fun and funny and exciting! and what a unique disturbing bad guy! i laughed so hard! and i loved the times square scene, seeing emmanuelle and what not in the background....very awesome

i loved leslie jones so hard, people made it sound like she was gonna be 'boo a madea halloween' but she was just a fucking awesome woman is what

also just to say some positive stuff in my silly world of provs, here is an indie team we made that i am v proud of: https://www.instagram.com/p/BI0RZ8zjDjo/?taken-by=tucsonimprov

we did kind of weird scenes (we're all just weird people) and then ended them by someone coming out like rod serling finishing a twilight zone episode, summarizing the scene and adding an ironic twist/punchline. our walk on music was the theme from suspiria. people kind of don't know what the fuck is happening at first but after we get a lot of praise. and it's just fucking fun. and all our injokes are about mayor de blasio and not our failed sex lives.

i got asked to do a panel on being a woman in comedy!!!

i said 'nothing says 'women are funny' like a panel discussion'

then i asked if i could just pee on a photo of christopher hitchens

then i said yes

then i asked if i could just pee on a photo of christopher hitchens

<3 <3 <3

the inevitable moment when the new boss goes straight to a male member of the team to ask him how to set up the laptop and to give the first "what we do here" speech, thus starting the next cycles of assuming:
- the dudes know most about what's going on
- the dudes are most helpful and should be the first call for finding things out and keeping in the loop about new developments
- the dudes are friendliest and good to chat with during breaks and maybe go drinking with
- the dudes are keen and smart and should be given the most new interesting tasks
- the dudes accomplished previous new interesting tasks and should be given more new interesting tasks as they're the ones with new skills and a track record for interesting task success
- the dudes should get training for their new interesting projects and go to conferences and get given money for everything from furniture through software-as-a-service subscriptions to major new hardware, and the women should get none of these, and everyone should just wonder more and more why we bother having these women around because their skills are out of date and they're not engaged with the wider community via conferences and they haven't done an interesting new project in years
- oh hey we need someone to get promoted, that should definitely be a dude because dudes are friendly and keen and smart and know what's going on and look at their great track records!

sorry, I just needed to get that rant out of my head in case the new guy does actually ask any women anything at any point and I accidentally blurt a chunk of it out instead of answering