hyperbole, by j0rdan s.

classic

hahaha

https://twitter.com/jordansarge/status/641725206885761028

@jordansarge
i genuinely hope we get nuked by north korea

fuck yeah

:-p

https://twitter.com/jordansarge/status/696704039342448640

http://gawker.com/bars-are-not-fun-1785214119

Why don’t we just have birthday drinks on the tarmac at JFK?

<3

*applause*

Hanging out with your good buds in the calm of someone’s living room.

bars are for people with no friends and/or no living room imo

sitting alone in your living room, realizing no one else is there or even going to show up, slowly carving a deep groove into the couch with your ass (and eventually, your entire body when you realize there is no reason to sit and not lay down), empty beverage and food containers on one side of the coffee table since you know no one is going to judge you beyond your own inner self-loathing

this is also why bars are full of regulars who have self-loathing

i gritted my teeth through the cousinfucking story, my patience is used up sir!!

I also fucking hate bars and invite jordan to hang out all the time and he never does

I hang out with my friends at Golden Corral.

I like bars. Not all bars, but I like bars. You can fill in the blanks about self-loathing.

bars are wonderful, love yourself

I have only been in a bar with goole once and that was pretty good. Maybe goole is what is often missing from the bar experience.

bars are for people with no friends and/or no living room imo

precisely. restaurants that have bars and clubs inexplicably calling themselves bars notwithstanding, bars are not intended for ppl who are ok with their lives. those who are, sit on the effing couch lol

truth, by j0rdan s.

slander not the hiding places of sad bastards

bars are fun places to watch sports imo

watching sports is for sociopaths

(feel like I'm channeling j0rdan on that one)

jordan loves sports more than anyone on this board lol

j0rdan does in fact watch sports

i've been to a bar with goole. it was good.

i don't hate all bars, but i feel like most bars are actively terrible places. when i find a good one i try to stick with it, though half the time i'd rather just invite friends over and hang out on the porch.

sarge has been to my place exactly once when he's in town and it has never occurred to me to meet anywhere except at a bar

I've plenty of booze at home but I like bars! I like overhearing conversations and often get more reading done.

reading in bars is a v underrated pleasure

I feel like we rate it correctly on ilx which is cool. Not all bars are for reading, obv

yah if I can I usually arrive a half hour early so I can drink a cocktail alone w/my book

sounds like j0rdan hangs out mostly in sports bars, which I agree are pathetic

the key is to find a chill and moderately populated bar w/a friendly but unintrusive clientele

j0rdan and I usually meet at a relatively quiet "gastropub" idk

the thing is, I'd still rather meet friends at bars b/c I can leave when I want whereas if they come over it's rude to throw them out

^^^

lol I was going to post that but held back the impulse

i've been to a bar with goole. it was good.

― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Friday, August 12, 2016 2:43 PM (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

come back!

everyone

also: most of my straight friends have kids so going to a bar is an escape.

I'd totally chill w/goole at a bar

up here we're double the mosqitos, none of the zika

not sure why a bar has to be "fun" and not just functional. is your favorite restaurant "fun?" if it is, then is your favorite restaurant applebee's? because it has a "bar" you could hang out at :)

not really serious there, just spitballing

It's not about "fun", it's about other people being annoying. and the music is too loud.

sorry I know you weren't serious

How come everyone's gone to the bar with goole.

When caek came to town, we didn't take him to a bar. We met him at a tavern.

i only see him at former blogger bars

j0rdan being almost thirty is a where tf did the time go

it's no crutis getting married but yeah