your terrible ideas

an 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button next to Submit Post that posts "OTM" for you on a random thread

The bb code error page has saved my style 100s of times. I'm just thankful for that and blindly accept my ungrammatical errors.

i use the "are you sure, asshole?" feature on gmail about twenty times a day so an ilx redact button would be a blessing

a proximity beacon in restrooms that turns your phone into "do not disturb mode" while you are in there

urinal proximity beacon that causes your phone to play a loud peeing sound from its speakers upon approach, relieving you of any performance anxiety

or maybe just a speaker in every bathroom that constantly plays peeing sounds. or any sounds, I suppose, if the volume is loud enough.

i am a long time advocate for incredibly loud music in bathrooms

possibly because i work with numerous men with terrible prostrate problems

oh man loud white noise in bathrooms would be amazing.

actually, better make it................................
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brown noise

a film called REMAKE that gets remade and released on the same date every year with the same cast and crew and determinedly sticks faithfully to the original - leading to fans scrutinising every minute of every new release to spot the differences

Highlights Magazine the movie

Would watch the saga of Goofus vs. Gallant on the big screen.

None of those bathroom ideas are terrible, btw. As opposed to any number of widely-accepted ideas currently employed in public restrooms.

such as leaving a gigantic gap between the stall door and frame so that everyone can see you pooping while washing their hands

an 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button next to Submit Post that posts "OTM" for you on a random thread

― Roberto Spiralli, Wednesday, April 29, 2015 11:01 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol

I still think about Miami Dad County up thread a lot for whatever reason, and started thinking about how terrible it would be have a Salford Dads Club.

A bunch guys would get together to ride bikes like in the Stop Me If You Think You've Heard This One Before video, but they're all old and wearing dockers and polos with big Morrisey quiffs or dressed kind of gothy with comb-overs and have reflector straps to hold their pant legs in place and have helmet-mounted rearview mirrors and their kids are riding with them in bike trailers or on little pink girl bikes with baskets.

Possibly an amazing idea in disguise: chew toys for adults that replicate the sheer joy of biting ones nails

made of substitute keratin

nom nom nom

Crazy Huge Golf - crazy golf, but scaled up so that each hole is the size of a hole on a regular golf course. So the windmill obstacle is an actual windmill, etc..

Highlights Magazine the movie

― Bookmark No Bingus Permalink (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, April 30, 2015 12:59 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

a film called REMAKE that gets remade and released on the same date every year with the same cast and crew and determinedly sticks faithfully to the original - leading to fans scrutinising every minute of every new release to spot the differences

― mea nulta (onimo), Thursday, April 30, 2015 12:58 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

these ideas need to hook up

ha that's what I was sayin

lol why did i reverse them! my sense of cause and effect has gone. the rainman gave me two cures and like a fool i mixed them.

thought you'd just been unrelatedly mulling and decided it was time to bring goofus to life at last.

well that's another idea

might be a Goofus idea. might be a Gallant idea. kinda thing that may only be learned in trying.

^ have a feeling Goofus says this in his head before every Goofus action

Crazy Huge Golf - crazy golf, but scaled up so that each hole is the size of a hole on a regular golf course. So the windmill obstacle is an actual windmill, etc..

Read this twice thinking, But the holes are the same size before shaking my head and rattling the peas a little.

goofus obv the central and enduring character; gallant is prob a hallucination.

^^ http://i.imgur.com/aFMZSoh.jpg

lol gallant's pose. the more i think about this the fewer reasons i see not to spend $200 million on it.

goofus keeps the lid on

Goofus with the lid off
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sY5zaDZq0sc

A sequel to Big where the now properly-aged Tom Hanks is recognized as the man that his mother mistakenly believed to be the kidnapper of his younger self and is incarcerated. I wanted to add that maybe Zolar is his cellmate or that, from prison, he rekindles his relationship with a 90-year-old Elizabeth Perkins, but I think it should maybe just be about his trial and imprisonment.

There are a lot of high concept '80s family films that are great fodder for terrible, tonally-inconsistent sequels. A sequel to Flight Of The Navigator that's all about the main kid's unhealthy obsession with the younger version of Sarah Jessica Parker. "The future teenage version of you was totally into the ten-year-old version of me! We were meant to be together!"

really abrasive noise band project called "histamine reaction"

40s for 40s: a Drunk History style parody of espn's 30 for 30 docs hosted by bill simmons on the Vice channel

one man Lynyrd Skynyrd tribute band, but since I can't really play or sing, I'll call it Simple Man

I'm sure you'd be awarded with many a Freebird.

The Dowie De Ching, a a business management book by Iain Dowie

Very rare post I'm about to make that may warrant a trigger warning about infant mortality.

But a sketch where Nickelodeon or Disney is having their annual Kids Awards! Program hosted by the girl from Hey Jessie! or one of the dudes from Lab Rats.

And after a big award, they bring out the Boy Meets World guy who solemnly says to the camera, "tonight, we fondly remember those we lost this year."

And a black-and-white montage plays for five minutes of nothing but children. "Brayden Atikinson. 2008-2014" "Farrell Morgan Grace, 2011-2015" "Kendal Qwan-Lucas, 2013-2014"

And after awhile, there's Regis or David Cross or somebody sitting in the crowd, who says to his date, "How can there be so many kids on this thing?" and the date simply says "heroin will kill us all."

Or maybe make the same sketch except with dogs. A hound dog, "Flash Corduroy, 2001-2015", a really regal looking terrier, "Spangles McDooDoo, 1997-2014" <-- crowd (of dogs) go nuts for this one. A Great Dane, "Rockingham, 2007-2014" <— everyone starts howling even though, you know, that's about what you get with a Great Dane.

these aren't terrible ideas. they are magnificent dreams.

I think I'm going with the dogs one. Most comedy sketches shouldn't require a trigger warning.

A makeshift car using two motorcycles and planks of wood. It would be really fast

Chatroulette 2.0 with Oculus Rift support.

A band that plays songs about white collar corporate workplace issues in the style of Cradle Of Filth, called Backlog Of Shit.

A website that allows you to buy an NFL shirt with a word on the back that is a forbidden DVLA number plate.

NSFW
http://www.theguardian.com/money/2015/may/22/dvla-bans-bl03-job-but-allows-an-org45m