Compliments I Have Received for Giving Out Doubletree Cookies

examples given as dreams
-to get the job they're interviewing for
-to see their team win the game
-to rekindle a business or personal relationship

i wouldn't put it past kubla khan to turn the doubletree into a stately pleasure-dome reality center.

I was bitching at my boss last week about how shitty this all is and "goddammit can't they wait a month to dump more bullshit on me I'm in some real shit in my real life right now I ain't need to be worrying about losing my job because I forgot to mention that we turn sweet dreams into remarkable fucking realities"

But it hit me today--this is the perfect time for this to come down the pipe. I'm rebooting my whole goddamn life right now, why shouldn't I reevaluate my attitude towards my work and my workplace? I hate my job and I hate where I work? Why the fuck shouldn't I dive the fuck in and help transform this into a place where I want to work? I want to be able to hit up service industry night at some shitty club and tell a dude I work at the Doubletree on MLK and for him to say "Oh I hear that place is dope!" And

No, after two years of jackhammering, I don't really have it in me to bring my game at 11. It sounds ridiculous to say this but this is really the most emotionally taxing job I've ever had: having to maintain cordiality in the face of daily verbal abuse has just been killing me, and my ex used to wonder why I would just come home from work and open a beer and fall asleep.

I'm sick of that. So fuck it. Yes I am in. I want to make this a better place to work and I will wear a fucking spacesuit if that gets me there. It's corny and stupid and I am fucking IN.

service industry night at some shitty club

http://up.metropol247.co.uk/Nini/252552873-KaneClap.gif

i think its always gonna be super awkward to say "sweet dreams" after i set somebody's wakeup call though

RS says you have to be making this up.

Sweet dreams? Really?

dead serious

the whole 'sweet dreams' thing is doubletree's marketing tagline, so this consultant rolled in and is just blowing it the fuck up into our corporate mission statement

I'm still at the point where I say "Sweet dreams" and then immediately hang up because I'm horrified at how they might react

I wouldn't know what to say but would probably just say "you too" out of habit which would make it even more awkward.

btw its the time of night where i'm setting all of these right now so i've done like a dozen in the last 5 minutes

http://mtceuropavideo.com/chambermaidsdream.jpg

Michel Lemoine and Elizabeth Tessier are as professional as possible under the circumstances in A Chambermaid's Dream. Tessier is the chambermaid, Lemoine her employer. When the house is empty, the maid fantasizes about her master. And then, one day, he comes home early. This soft-core exercise holds few surprises; still, the photography is excellent, even in the "sraight", non-erotic scenes. ~ Hal Erickson, All Movie Guide

real talk

hoos this is probably your greatest thread ever, i hope youre taking copious notes cuz u cd write a motherfuckin book about this shit

im still reeling over ransom duce--havent even processed big hoos aka the dreamweaver

hey baby want to come up to my dream chamber

u r all not really believing this nomenclature hoos is dreamweaving here r u

i'm into it, this dreamenclature is totally enhancing my personal reality zone

i believe that hoos believes that this nomenclature is coming from the top--the more likely scenario is that the 'consultant' who rolled in is actually just a high-stakes con man looking to make a quick buck scamming some texan hoteliers--only to fall in love with a beautiful dream-bermaid & make a last-ditch effort 2 save the hotel after revealing his deception & realizing that he can no longer live a life of lies

similar to the musical "the music man"

bermaid

is that like a mermaid but she swims in beer, not water?

no its like a chambermaid, but "maid" of dreams

"maid" of dream-bers

the dream-bers of a slowly dying fire

beautiful dream-bermaid = hoos, save the hotel = eat all the cookies

this is the kind of halfassed laughable exercize that if leaked would cause the company's stock to go down

hyperbaric chambermaid

bermaid

is that like a mermaid but she swims in beer, not water?

― Mr. Que, Friday, March 27, 2009 10:10 AM (3 minutes ago)

It's Chris Berman with a fish tail and a clamshell bra.

http://thesportshernia.typepad.com/blog/images/chris_berman_really_annoying_1.jpg

BACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACKBACK

ha doubletree is private, scratch that. still, this is really amazing. i can't believe companies are still pulling this stuff

The Fitness Center, now to be referred to as the PERSONAL REALITY ENHANCEMENT CENTER

^^ tbh if i were a guest this would probably confuse me to the point of frustration like "WHERE THE HELL IS THE GYM"

WHERE IN THE SPIRITUAL REALITY PUNISHMENT CENTER IS THE PERSONAL REALITY ENHANCEMENT CENTER

haha yeah my guess is this is some kind of consultancy snowjob done with 0 real input from the public. nobody would agree to have their hotel room called a "dream chamber"

u guys hoos made this up

I want to reserve space at Doubletree but only if they'll agree to call it the "hot monkey luv chamber" instead of "dream chamber" while I'm there.

hoosultancy snowjob, 0 real input from ilx

I should clarify guys: we're franchised, not corporate. We're owned by a small upstart out of Cali and we're their first full-service property, so they're sort of learning as they go. I don't think Hilton Corporate would ever truck with this shit.

And apparently these tactics have worked before! They're bringing dude in because as GM of another property in Austin he took some Marriott from #10 to #1 in its comp set using tactics like these. And he's apparently putting it all on the line: word from the bossman is that if we don't start seeing turnaround in 6 weeks he doesn't get paid.

is dude's name Dreamweaver

He wants us to wear foam cowboy hats on football game days and shit its n/n/l

hoos if i move to austin can i join this burgeoning dream movement

its a movement baby

omfg A+++++++++++++++

where does fuckin w/ magic enter this dreamscape

I've actually re-pitched it to my new boss. They're all about looking for ways to make this place more memorable and interesting for guests and I feel this would be a dope way to do it. I'm rusty as I haven't fucked w/magic in about 6 months after the last attempt fell apart, but I could get back up to snuff without too much effort.

excellent!

Doubletree Hotels, Suites, Resorts and Clubs present a chocolate chip cookie to each guest at check-in. Synonymous with Doubletree hospitality, the cookie has been used to differentiate the Doubletree hotel brand from its competition.

Doubletree gives out approximately 29,000 chocolate chip cookies each day, and a total of over 125,000,000. Each cookie weighs a 2½ ounces and has an average of 20 chocolate chips. The cookies are currently manufactured by The Christie Cookie company. In June 2002, Doubletree gave its 100,000,000th cookie.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b112/Bapt/SoulStrut/know.gif

Dude interrupts my phone greeting:

"Justin stop. Stop. You have turned my sweet dream into a remarkable nightmare."

I gotta tell you, if I had a hotel being all "sweet dreams" at me I'd probably make a complaint - I mean it sounds crepey! WTF management.