your terrible ideas

For me I sort of base it as in and out of the bathroom when I'm out - I don't want people who also went in (ie my husband; I always beat him!) to wait for me

FFM have you been awol? or am i just reading the wrong threads

I'm in school and always tired so I just lurk a lot! Thank you for noticing :) I miss desk job life and its opportunities for actual internet engagement.

Bird Punk Magazine

^ WS

I actually know some punk rock birding enthusiasts, for real

Never Mind The Dunnocks, Here's The Storm Petrels

^an article about 'extreme' birding in pelagic winter settings, rather than spotting garden birds from the comfort of your kitchen

ok lol

those avians

a horror movie called I Shall Wear Purple

I'm still trying to work out the plot points

hahahaha

oh shit. would a red hat be the killer? or would it be about a bunch of red hats getting killed?

the poem is called 'warning', how's life. think about it

k...basically, thousands of old ladies are inducted into the Red Hat Society with the promise that they will soon be able to bear children ('c'mon, it will make you feel young again!'). when they aren't otherwise occupied with pub crawls and brunches, the Red Hat Ladies undergo IVF en masse, and 9 months later they give birth to a horde of redheaded, purple-skinned demons.

[at this point it degenerates into generic monster movie mayhem]

...until a *shocking plot twist* reveals that the 'demons' are actually piñatas stuffed with Werther's ® Original ® Sugar Free Caramels.

'swing away!'

M. Night Shyamalan (dir.)

*hands Werther's Original to grandson* now this is what I call growing old disgracefully!

http://i.imgur.com/3kGllli.png

'red hat society' (and variants thereof) is a very rewarding GIS, btw. I think I know how I'm gonna be spending the rest of my Friday night.

That sounds like a pretty good horror movie

er, ah, thanks!

Minus the werthers stuff
But impregnating old ladies w mutant babies? Ok! I'd watch that.

artisanal, locally-mined coal to fuel your vintage power plant

series of opinion columns with deliberately provocative titles but which, on closer inspection, are just a list of things I might buy with my payment from the columns

Barefoot Contessa to host a babies' cookery programme, making things like makka-pakka-roni cheese, called Ina Night Garten

Need an example of a title, DJM.

a public service campaign that alerts the British populace to the damaging effects of calling each other 'm8' on the internet (i.e. it supposedly devalues and trivializes friendship)

slogan: DON'T UNDERESTIM8

the 'adverts' would appear in metro carriages or tube trolleys or whatever you guys call those things

Today I drank a can of Red Bull Tropical, which tasted like someone had eaten a mango and then thrown up. Which co-incidentally was the original formulation of Um Bongo, but they couldn't make a racist advertising jingle out of that so they had to change it.

A Tin Machine tribute band, except all the songs have lyrics that refer to Halo:

Master Chief
Master Chief
Take me anywhere
In a speeding Warthog
with guns blazing in the air
Master Chief
Master Chief

the poetry of William McGonagall performed in a calypso style

High-quality streaming wedding dress service called Bridal

Shut Up and Dance comeback single called "Vaping I'm Vaping"

― Misandry Rooney (Noodle Vague), Monday, June 2, 2014 4:19 PM (10 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

started on these fucking e-cig things this weekend and have had this going round and round in my head

Disposable diapers printed to look like stacks of currency so you can feel like high roller when piling them up on the changing table.

A cell phone recycling company called fuckyoudarren.com. The company will not pay you anything for your shitty old phone, but it will film somebody publicly screaming "Yeah?! Oh Yeah?! Well fuck you, Darren!" before spiking it into the sidewalk.

A screwball comedy movie called Dagnabbit, Ned Raggett!

a temporary edit function that lets you fix typos for the first 20 seconds after you submit a post

or a big warning sign that appears before you submit a post, which says "WHY DON'T YOU JUST READ YOUR POST AGAIN REALLY QUICK BEFORE SUBMITTING IT THIS TIME"

an 'I'm Feeling Lucky' button next to Submit Post that posts "OTM" for you on a random thread

The bb code error page has saved my style 100s of times. I'm just thankful for that and blindly accept my ungrammatical errors.

i use the "are you sure, asshole?" feature on gmail about twenty times a day so an ilx redact button would be a blessing

a proximity beacon in restrooms that turns your phone into "do not disturb mode" while you are in there

urinal proximity beacon that causes your phone to play a loud peeing sound from its speakers upon approach, relieving you of any performance anxiety

or maybe just a speaker in every bathroom that constantly plays peeing sounds. or any sounds, I suppose, if the volume is loud enough.

i am a long time advocate for incredibly loud music in bathrooms

possibly because i work with numerous men with terrible prostrate problems

oh man loud white noise in bathrooms would be amazing.

actually, better make it................................
...................
.............
........
.....
..
brown noise