no boys allowed in the room!!!!

That voice is loud and clear my own teenage/adolescent voice and it needs to be silenced for sure.

i can't even blame it on morrissey -- he just confirmed what i already thought was true
adolescence was a bummer avalanche
sorry guys this is totally embarrassing me and i need to stop talking about it

how about this nice weather eh

this is so good i made a pdf of it

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/09/28/opinion/sunday/learning-to-love-criticism.html

76 percent of the negative feedback given to women included some kind of personality criticism, such as comments that the woman was “abrasive,” “judgmental” or “strident.” Only 2 percent of men’s critical reviews included negative personality comments.

holy shit

love it

A friend of mine posted in despair on FB recently that she'd been bullied by her boss, cried because of it, and was frustrated to be informed her crying was "aggressive". WTF!?

nb: do not know if said boss was male or female, but I am just realising i find it curious that my knee jerk was to assume female.. hm.

i am so tired of the way men routinely talk to me that i am reaching some kind of breaking point

^^^^^^ this

tired of dudes who act like they know it all and are just kind of mediocre and unpleasant. whose mode of conversation is incessant snarky, smug, put down, dismissive comments about everything and anything (and especially about women). dude can't you roll your eyes at everything privately, without talking? that would be nice

(walks away/puts headphones back on)

I was looking for the cosine gif, but I can't find it since Google changed the GIS results format, but pretend I just posted an animated gif with a circle tracing a cosine and said "cosign".

my breaking point came when 2 guy friends joined a facebook conversation i was involved in the "bring reason into the argument" (while simultaneously accusing me of trying to "railroad" them, and invoking our friendship against my disagreeing with them). I posted a long-ass screed decrying every close male friend i have ever had and all the fucked up things they have done to me. the apologies have been pouring in! no care evar!

feeling righteous, woke up doing the bobby gillespie clap

gah that is the best feeling
feels so good to be free of emotional dead weight

new day rising!

I'm so sorry about the bobby gillespie clap, but you know there is a course of antibiotics you can get for that.

*boom-tish*

(Sorry, Roxy, couldn't resist. I am glad that you managed to clear the air.)

hahaha!

someday id like to do the same here, clearing the air about fucked up things people have done and said to me on ilx. not today tho

good luck with that :P

sorry shouldn't be such a cynic

and i will couple it with an apology for being a party to some, or loling in the background

https://scontent-b-lga.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/16757_10152473052402599_1267966067365539500_n.jpg?oh=7422ddb4ac95709b9820ab85a6a6588c&oe=54B4DA2C

dunno if I'm incredibly lucky or something, but my male friends do not pull shit like that with me, ever.

uh you are incredibly lucky. like someone born with 5 clits or something

there is one dude who is a member of the noise co-op I am also a member of who will sometimes be condescending in a way that we have discussed in this thread, but I don't consider that dude a friend.

lol at the five clits

or i mean maybe its not luck! maybe you project something that says "dont try it"

5 clits sounds like a recipe for lack of fulfillment

i've been thinking about this too. i think if i were friends with more "asshole" types this would happen more? but those guys generally don't want to be friends with me (nor i with them, honestly)
maybe that's not it
i dont know

also lol

posted a long-ass screed decrying every close male friend i have ever had and all the fucked up things they have done to me.

― jello my future biafriend (roxymuzak), Monday, October 6, 2014 10:23 AM (7 hours ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

hero

that sounds amazing. i should do it. but i don't have any male friends anymore! maybe i can title my screed "this is why we're no longer friends"

There's a big difference between my male friends (none of whom are shitty; they would not be my friends if they did shitty things on the regular!) and men I know.

5 clits sounds like a recipe for lack of fulfillment

― sarahell, Monday, October 6, 2014 8:26 PM (Yesterday)

or 5x the odds??

otoh it makes me think of this cronenbergian sex toy

On Amazon? LOL, oh yeah! I remember discovering you could buy sex toys on Amazon. They really do ridiculous mark ups at porn stores...

i really do think that every conversation ive had, in real life and on the internet, in the past 10 days has included a man uptalking me or using my first name in a condescending way (actually, Emily), usually both

Erykah Badu: C /D, S&D

xp Argh, I got a version of that from a libertarian woman the other day, when I contradicted her on friend's FB. She was bigging up her gun ownership ("you'll need me and my gun when the shit hits the fan") as she told others that the correct response to poor Somalis asking for non-pork items at the local Twin Cities food shelf was 'shove a ham sandwich down their throats and bomb them back to ISIS'.

Fucking oxygen thief....

i want to start a "shit men say" thread, starting with:

you're not actually surprised by that, are you?

and

you're smart enough to know ___

lol I say those things. Clear case of laurelsplaining. Which might go a ways toward explaining why I don't notice men doing it to me.

i'm unfortunately acutely aware of condescending language
has made for lots of discomfort throughout the years

totally!

i was just trying to think, if a woman says these things to me, how do i feel? but i can't remember it ever happening tbh

it happens all the time!

to me at least

so weird. women never talk to me like this! not even on the internet. lol

i always figured that it's because people are not intimidated by me -- irl i am physically small but even on the internet it's not like i have a big personality.

im sure that has something to do with it! i am tall and p obnoxious in person and on the net tbh

Hmm. Condescension is one of those things, like, humour, that lives in this vast grey area. Where punching up is a hugely valid and important tool! (so I'm never going to condemn people like in orbit who use it in that way!) But unfortunately, still the vast majority of uses and users involve punching down.

ive been making a conscious effort to call out every single condescending iota of a thing a man does to me for the past week or so and it has been EXHAUSTING

Well, there's the rub. It is exhausting, it is endless, it wears you down, and I'm not sure how much change it effects. (Have you read Sara Ahmed on The Feminist Killjoy?)

On the other hand, reading this guy makes me giggle-snort:

http://blogdailyherald.com/2014/10/06/interview-guyinyourmfa/

It just nails a certain form of male doucheyness so perfectly.

Brown didn't have much of an MFA program when I went there