no boys allowed in the room!!!!

what kind of workplace is this?!

thats so outrageous

Seriously.

I was thinking about the issue of religious men not looking at or touching women--like, if your entire life is founded on behavioral conceits like those and you insist on inflicting them on others who didn't choose to be around you, the very, VERY least you could do (and I'm not sure this would even be enough) is work extra hard to listen to and talk to women in a way that shows you acknowledge them and aren't brushing them off. Like, okay, maybe we can't shake hands or use the same stapler (BUT WHAT ABOUT THE COPY MACHINE BUTTONS??), but if in meetings you support my ideas and give me credit in groups and you respect my workflow and stuff like that, we might be able to work constructively together.

But that's not how people are oriented, because crossing the line to refusing to look at women is actually shorthand for wishing they didn't exist AT ALL outside your prescribed roles for them. It's erasure. You're erasing women from the public sphere, and fuck you very much for that.

Yeah, I have a hard time finding a place of religious tolerance in that situation, too. Like, I'm sorry that you are worried I'm going to get my ~unstoppable slutty sex want~ all over your hand and make you unfaithful to your wife/your god/your purity of thought or whatever, but I am not entirely sure how that is my problem.

i'm really annoyed that there is a thread about a quest to stop a pantsuit

This was at the main library at a large Texas college. From what I hear the library itself is in decline due to a series of poor decisions and management that started in 2005.

But that's not how people are oriented, because crossing the line to refusing to look at women is actually shorthand for wishing they didn't exist AT ALL outside your prescribed roles for them. It's erasure. You're erasing women from the public sphere, and fuck you very much for that.
Exactly!

It isn't functional to not look co-workers in the eye, to be so worried about touching their hands...

I genuinely wonder how he gets through a normal day? I'm kind of interested in the reasoning behind this belief (sorry, but I refuse to distinguish a 'religious' belief from a regular belief). It got me thinking how I would respond to, say, someone who acted 'oddly' and not as per our cultural norms for other reasons, like autism, or whatever, and what assumptions we might make (although obv very different - a belief is a choice)
Anyway can someone make 'unstoppable slutty sex want' their DN pls?

I used to work at the Passport Office and saw all types. Religious men - lets not step delicately here, it is the very traditionalist muslim we're speaking of - would not only not want to deal with female staff members, I had one gent who would not allow his wife to present for her own passport application. He made her stay sitting at the back of the room. When I informed him it was the law she had to be at the desk in person and sign the form in my presence, he VERY grudgingly let her come up, mark a shaky, clearly illiterate "X" as a sig, then she scuttled back to her seat, cowed. He was bitter, angry and extremely pissed he had to take orders from a GIRL.

can i just say

you know that phenomenon where you'll say something otm and a dude in your midst will agree but attribute your comment to some other dude in your midst?

THIS. and/or talk right over me while i'm still talking. occasionally dudes have made a point by saying to me (and the group) the exact same thing i just said, the second i've stopped talking, like i wasn't even there, except for the idea they thought it was necessary to repeat as if they'd just thought of it themselves.

i gave up on the 'breaking bad' thread because it dawned on me that i was watching the show completely differently than the majority of participants in that conversation and there was no point in continuing there! skyler was a frustrating character because i kept wanting her to assert herself and walk away from this abusive relationship and it didn't really happen. i liked marie and i actually liked lydia sort of, and gus was the best imo

one of the things i appreciate about message boards is that ok, sure, people are free to misread your comments or ignore them or start pointless arguments or whatever, but they cannot actually barge in and talk right over you while you are still talking and haven't finished a sentence. (and then get offended if you don't shut up and let them talk over you)

After recently being at an event where a man got mad at what a woman was saying and yelled at her over her attempts to talk for like 5 minutes straight and stood up and waved his arms around and slung a cup of water at her, I feel sensitive to that kind of thing right now. Recently saw it on a talk show, or on a tv show? I can't rembemeber...and was like "No no no no no no."

Hah or actually maybe it happened to me on that bad date? Not on that level, but not being able to talk past someone who is bigger and louder than you.

WHAT?! ...grrrrrrrrrr

Shout-out to my ex-bf, a bedroom guitarist who has never played in a band, made a record or gone on tour, who told me I was not a musician; as evidence to back this claim, he stated that I did not even know what a scale was. When I started to define exactly what a scale was, ("it's a set ordered by pitch..."), he repeated my words back to me in a voice as incredulous as if I had said "a scale is a butt."
#fuckyou #onblast #yourtremolopickingsux

posted that here to stop myself from posting it on FB

if you posted "a scale is a butt" on fb I would comment "dying"

and the only reason that i'm not posting on FB right now is that ive already publicly shamed like 50 ppl in the last week and i dont want to get too one-note w/it

xp <3

xref'ed with OP of "thread to get over a breakup"

just so that^ doesnt get twisted, im WAAYYYYYYY over that breakup. lol.

is he one of the fine specimens of manhood on the breakup thread?

he's the original! so happy to have run into him again on halloween

kill all men

hahah my former roommate wished me happy birthday!

it was a very pleasant surprise since he didn't wish me happy birthday when he was actually my roommate iirc

when i got out of class this morning my phone notified me that it was time to "Celebrate with Sarah! It's her birthday!" It made me lol. I've never seen one of those pop up. It was from FB.

also HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

let's celebrate here!

http://ladyoftheloch.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/happybdaycatssinging.gif

awwwwww

otm

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SNpUGh5x-_o/UAjiIeT3TFI/AAAAAAAAA3E/ivCGGGvO2fI/s400/Drumming+Puppy+Dog+Vintage+Cat+Preston+itsmycake.jpg

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SNpUGh5x-_o/UAjiIeT3TFI/AAAAAAAAA3E/ivCGGGvO2fI/s400/Drumming+Puppy+Dog+Vintage+Cat+Preston+itsmycake.jpg

hb several days ago sarahell!

two things of note to this thread happened today:

1) in the hallway during break, there were three boys standing on one side of the hallway talking with three boys sitting on a sofa on the other side. Anyone who wanted to pass through would have to walk the gauntlet of 6 boys. i laughed on my way through the first time and said something like "this is quite a gauntlet you've made here" and they didn't really react and that was that. on my way back through, i remembered that one of the boys had been bothering one of my students and on the way back, i told them that the way they were standing was intimidating. they were like wha? and i was like yeah, having to walk through a hallway that is clogged with other people who are all staring at her is intimidating. you shouldn't do it. then i went into my classroom. we'll see if they ever do that again. punks! you don't intimidate our students like that. or me, for that matter.

2) you know that thing upthread where a dude tries to tell you something that you actually told him? that happened today with me and my boss and guess what i said after he smugly told me something that i had told him at least a week ago. i said, "i know, i told you that. at two separate meetings." yezzir.

I hate walking through guards of dishonour, the reflexive sanding down you get from all those bored but on-duty eyes.

i was talking to a client, who is 21, on the phone today and he called me "sweetie" twice

unbelievable.
seriously?

such amazing, deluded cheek.

happy birthday sarahell, most excellent and entertaining asker of questions.

I get sweetie all the time from an ex work collegue but hes camp as a row of tents so... I give that a pass? I dont know if I should.

if it bothers you, you should say something
if not, no worries

a similar thing happened today at the same meeting as 2). a female coworker said that she couldn't see past my bangs and she pushed my hair aside just like a couple inches. this didn't bother me at all because i know her and it just didn't bother me. my boss, the aforementioned one, said "now, could that be considered harassment?" and i was like "well, if i'm uncomfortable with it, yes. if i'm not (which i wasn't) then no."

That is true! Harassment is unwanted by definition, at least on the workplace context.

Also: badass approach to rude dudes at work, LL!

Also: hbd sarahell!

Hi, everybody!

I don't know why I said that, I think because this thread feels like walking into a room and it seemed appropriate.

I went on a date, he was dreamy and appreciative and it felt comfortable. I pretty much haven't felt attracted to anyone in...a year? or more? and it's not unusual for me to be on really long cycles but I was starting to feel like that was just gone for me, I don't know, it's a long story, but FINALLY I FELT SOMETHING so that was exciting, it was like spring in November, little birdies flying, etc.

And I got home and Yerac encouraged me to google him and I did and he has a prior arrest for dv lol/sob.

Oh ugh. :(

I would like to have something that's just mine, some corner of my emotional life that lights things up for me. It's okay being steady and even-keeled and I thought that was good enough for me (in the cynical drawer of my mental filing system I think it's the best I can hope for) so to have hope again suddenly and then feel like I just cannot get ahead, at all...it's got me down for a few days.

Last night my eccentric 70-something neighbor told me I should get my nail tech license "before you get married." I pointed out that at my age there was no clock ticking and no prospects either, and she said, "Oh honey, you're young! Young!" I mean I guess I am if you're 77.

I would call you young from my 40yo perspective, too, especially as it pertains to marriage timelines.

Also neighbor OTM about your nail tech license. I think you should do that!

I'm trying! Touring a beauty school in a couple of weeks b/c they won't tell you anything about the cost or payment plans until you go in person--but it's also going to cost like $1500-1700 so I have to find other work first and save up.

I know I'm not old, it's all in my head that I feel dried up and uninteresting. I used to be everyone's big sister, now it's like I'm their MOM.