your terrible ideas

The Cosby show reimagined where Cliff is a lawyer and Claire is a doctor. Absolutely nothing else is changed.

hahaha

I was thinking about those old step-by-step "how to draw x" manuals, and I was thinking about how the illustrator actually had to redraw each prior step for each step (e.g. for step 3 the illustrator had to draw 1-3, for step 4 he had to draw 1-4), and I was thinking there should be an infinite recursion version of this called "How to Draw 'How to Draw X'"

My wife and her brother grew up in a super small town named Dollar Bay; bro-in-law and I have invented a fake rap festival to be held there named BALLER DAY and have been making up performers for the lineup based on dumb inside jokes (Dissmore, Billy Grippo the Eastside Specialist, Stucchi Arms, Point Mills).

loll

The perfect gift for the Doctor Who obsessed stoner in your life: a bong shaped like a Dalek.

acoustic funk cover of "Everybody Dance Now" in the style of Dave Matthews

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MD61Sca8TlE

not quite that but figured there had to be some kind of acoustic version on youtube

and wow

t-shirt that says DEAD PARROT in the style of the Darkthrone logo and then on the back it says TRUE NORWEGIAN BLUE MORTAL

guest spot in a WALL•E sequel for will.i.am as WILL•I•

AM

christian fennesz and ryuichi sakamoto both start wearing wraparound shades and matching outfits to compliment their similar hair textures. and lots of keytars... frequent keytar changes between songs.

Haha

You'd think that you could just change the keytar settings to change the sounds, but no, they switch to entirely new keytars

a rap battle diss saying something about how the other rapper's website has femalestudent.jpg on it

maybe something like

"You only write rhymes for the kids with the backpacks/tried to go to your 'website', all I saw was a chick with a backpack"

bad news on the doorstep/I couldn't take one more step

I was also thinking I could rhyme it with "[some shitty rapper] called, he wanted wack back"

U2 cover band that performs in the style of ABBA, called "The Swedish Thing."

making "happy october y'all!!!! ;-)" my display name.

A Scottish Hendrix tribute act called See You Jimi.

A Scottish JLS tribute act called JLS (pronounced 'jigh el ess')

A Scottish Beady Eye tribute act called 'Och Beady Eye the noo'.

A Scottish Wizard tribute act called 'It Wisnae me-ard'

A Scottish James Brown tribute act called 'Papa's got a brand new bawbag'

classic conkers

mad men-style period drama about an insurance company called "Risk"

mad men-style period drama about a dental practice called "Misogyvitus"

pilot titled "Molars without Morals"

Ep 2 titled "dentists were more obviously racist back then"

"Risk" actually seems like a viable premise for a show. Set it in the Gilded Age...people insuring railway and steamship cargo, lots of interesting period settings and novelties to spin episodes out of, like all the trivia in The Great Train Robbery, plus the rising tide of disgruntled Progressivism could give it an edge of present-day social commentary with scenes lifted out of The Octopus and The Jungle, etc. Plus, lots of fin-de-siecle sex.

mad men-style period drama about an insurance company called "Risk" where all of the actuaries are obsessed with the popular board game Risk - to the detriment of their work productivity. John Laroquette stars as the office manager who is determined to get his employees back on task. But it turns out that he is also getting into Risk to the detriment of HIS productivity!

Youtube channel hosted by }}ILLUMINATIISREAL1996{{, a white kid in a guy fawkes mask with a chicago bears cap and a "U MAD" t-shirt; all videos devoted to arguing in favor of a boycott of Eminem until he changes his name to something less racist. Shortest video is twenty minutes.

An episode of Torchwood where an old Pete Townshend that just works in a hotel and never joined a band, finds some old war-time era dirty magazines in a trunk and then tries to work out a melody in the shower before having a seizure and then the opening music starts.

that cracked me up

A range of Irish themed Christmas Crackers for those terrible Irish theme pubs. Sample joke:

   Q: What did the Irish policeman say to the drug dealer?
   A: "I'm here for the crack"

A social app called "My Melody" where you make up a melody and then "share" it with your friends. When you share, the app auto-generates a message with the subject "Hey ___, Check Out My Melody!"

A live-action, soft-porn adaptation of the online comic strip 'Day by Day', there would be gaps left in the scrip to fill with topical jokes filmed shortly before broadcast, like on 'Drop the Dead Donkey'.

I had this wacky idea a few years ago for a device like a CPU heatsink that you'd attach to your wrist to keep you cool in summer. But I dismissed it as being stupid. Now it turns out that not doing something about was a terrible idea, because I could have been doing this at MIT:

http://www.wired.com/design/2013/10/an-ingenious-wristband-that-keeps-your-body-at-the-perfect-temperature-no-ac-required/

http://wristifyme.com/

http://mashable.com/2013/10/26/thermoelectric-bracelet-lets-you-control-your-body-temperature/

(although to be fair it's a bit more sophisticated than my idea of strapping a CPU heatsink & fan to your wrist)

coming soon to a brookstone near you

If they made the bracelet out of copper and put magnets in it, they'd sell a tonne to people with arthritis (although that doesn't actually work: http://www.nhs.uk/news/2009/10October/Pages/Copper-bracelets-and-arthritis.aspx)

Ugh, speaking of Brookstone, you know what's a REAL terrible idea? These:

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-z6L31kJ596M/UcjmFfSda-I/AAAAAAAAHi4/h9rICtEJ_IA/s1600/Flips+HD+Headphones.jpg

aka Subway Annoyers

what about headphones that play powerfully loud sounds directly inside of your ears, and then you can flip them to play barely audible sounds at a party

Also the idea of stereo sound going in opposite directions is just bizarre

it could actually be kinda cool if you were in a smaller space with metal walls listening to repetitive arpeggiated loud music

in space

that is enclosed. there is no sound in outer space.

An avant garde gym called WorkOut