no boys allowed in the room!!!!

Think i'm supposed to go get my thyroid tested because I have a patch of discolouration on the skin near my cheekbone. Is this a symptom of anything? It's been there for years, should be a typical side effect of BC pill.

That's melanasma, it's typically from high estrogen. I have it too, on my cheek. But I am not even on BC.

That really doesn't have much to do with thyroid, though.

hm I think I meant 'could' not 'should' be a typical side effect there.
bodies r weird

I could also be sun damage or, like, anything else. Get it checked.

I'm extremely pale so have been wearing SPF every day for years, so I'm not TOO worried, but yeah, will do

i get a nonitchy rash on the front of my thighs sometimes, esp in the sun. apparently that's a symptom of hypo too? when the doc was asking me questions about symptoms i was alarmed at how many were totally spot on. "do you get almost unbearably cold when no one else is cold?" WHY YES I DO

apparently theres a rash with lupus too, but its in a butterfly shape on the face. i don't have that.

ugh why the gloom the week before my period? hate it.

Roxy, is your nose often cold? My feet, hands, and nose are always freezing.

Tracking your body temp is helpful, too. Take it first thing in the morning, upon waking.

When I first started tracking mine was under 96, sometimes even as low as 95. Now I am up to 97, and by mid day I am around 98-ish. So it's rising...

Agatha: my doctor said it was normal, not menopause, perhaps breastfeeding making my hormones weird. August still breast feeds quite often. The menopause test didn't show anything out of the ordinary and he said my periods would be further apart not closer together.

In the past I was able to measure my thyroid levels, more or less, by how many strands of hair I'd lose. If I stopped counting at 20 and there was still a lot, I would go in and get it checked and sure enough my levels were slightly off. I'd have to take a half a pill more or skip a day and then get tested again. But that is me and how I work.

My hands and arms are the worst. Haven't really noticed my nose. xp

My nose is always cold but I thought that was because it sticks out so far?!

Sometimes my boobs get really cold for what I always figured was the same reason.

i don't think my boobs have ever been cold! how weird. maybe its cause i try to squash them down with tight bras

Mine are cold right now!

I'm on the train and it's way too a/c'ed.

i get cold nose/feet/hands but i'm pretty sure it's because i've been a pack a day smoker for 20+ yrs

i got my test results back, and the screen for connective tissue disease was positive. i need to have another test to figure out what exactly i have. the thyroid blood test was negative, but i don't know exactly what test it was. i have an appointment to hash this stuff out.

Yikes. I hope everything goes well with the additional testing.

Jeez. I had to look that up and I wish you good luck, rox.

im feeling weird cause as i've told people those results they've expressed great sympathy and fear and strong emotions, and i was basically feeling nothing about the results until people reacted that way - i think maybe this is because i've known something was going on and its just nice to know what it is? i'm not feeling scared, for whatever reason. and i feel pretty sure that it is not lupus because i have no joint swelling. however, i also have no joint stiffness, so it might not be rheumatoid arthritis, either, which is what i've always guessed it is.

and thanks for the well wishes!

Well I mean if the symptoms you experience are basically a mild inconvenience, then the rest is all upside! Hopefully you'll feel even better with treatment and be basically superhuman.

I am guessing people don't entirely understand the scope of what connective tissue disorders could encompass and assume the worst, maybe. It is a relief to know what is going on, and now you can start to manage it. It's also nice to have some validation that you're not making things up (or maybe that's just me).

I'm sorry if I added to the weird feeling about reactions you are getting.

best of luck with it rox, hope whatever it is that you have turns out to be something manageable.

oh no i didnt mean yall, just like my mom and bf etc xp

and yeah its nice to know it isnt in my head!

Oh, moms, yeah they are gonna be total moms about this kind of thing.

she is already texting everyone in the world to pray for me. lol

Bless her heart.

Thinking of you, E.

So in the past two weeks I found out that my oldest friend is 7 wks pg by a guy she has been dating for 4 months who is:

- 7 yrs younger
- unemployed
- a pothead
- not really looking for a job
- is HIV +

The more I find out the harder it's getting to be supportive and not just outright tell her that this all sounds like p much the worst idea ever and it's really starting to weigh on me! I'm trying to be there for her as much as I can because her family (who know all the above) are pretty upset and she feels really alone but gd it's just like there's something new and shitty about the situation every time I talk to her about it. Btw it's not like she's the most settled person. She's constantly broke and I think she maybe works 3 days a week. I'm going to go see her next weekend but I'm oh idk the whole thing is kind of insane.

She's at her first ultrasound right now and I know that after this (and assuming everything is OK) there's very little chance that she'll consider a termination and this makes me feel like a shitty person but that kind of makes me really sad because I just don't see this ending well. At all.

has she made a decision to have it? xp oh :/

Yeah, I think she has. She very very briefly talked about maybe not having it but then burst into tears immediately and said that she just couldn't do that which I do understand and I mean God I'd never presume to tell anyone what to do or think in any way in that situation but the whole thing is just so fucking far from ideal and nuts that I can't really wrap my head around it but I'm gonna have to try if I'm gonna see her and meet him next weekend.

I think mostly I'm just still in shock.

That's a rough set of circumstances under which to have a baby.

er, yeah... that sounds like a disaster.

Yep and I mean that's why I'm trying to be as supportive as possible but it's really really hard not to want to just take her by the shoulders, shake her, and be like what planet are you living on where this seems like even a remotely non-disastrous idea?!

Obviously it's her decision and I'm going to support her in whatever she ultimately does but it's just been a lot to take in though I feel shitty even saying that since I know it must be a million times harder for her etc. Sigh. We'll see what happens I guess.

what are her issues with abortion? is she religious?

Just as a counterpoint:

A good friend of mine got pregnant by her drug dealing, abusive boyfriend who was in the country illegally (so without any legit employment prospects even if he were suited to legit employment, which he was not) and was a monster dumbass. She was also doing a whole lot of speed at the time and living the high roller drug dealer's girlfriend lifestyle (such as it was) and she decided to carry the pregnancy to term* and now she's a nurse living in a 'burb of Atlanta with her solid, upstanding boyfriend, two dogs, and a pretty great nine-year-old kid.

I am NOT one for the narrative of women being saved by their pregnancies, but in this case, the reality of bringing a baby into her current situation actually galvanized her** to get out of her situation, move in with her parents to regroup for a few years, and then take her life in a healthier direction.

*more like she lived in terrible denial about it for so long (despite my numerous phone calls to her telling her to get to Planned Parenthood already what the hell is her problem) that the decision was eventually out of her hands, but that in and of itself is a decision, you know?

**not to say in any way whatsoever that women in abusive situations just need to "get motivated" and leave. The part where she actually made her break from this guy was pretty bad.

I'd add to carl's counterpoint that this is the kind of situation that new-skool social workers would approach from a "strengths-based" perspective, focusing on strengths, resources, any and all positives that your friend can draw on (like you!) instead of getting blinded by the obvious negatives. It is amazing how resilient people are; they just manage even in the face of absurd odds.

Thanks, Carl. I know that crazier things have happened and worked out and that maybe this won't end badly and I really hope that if she decides to carry to term and parent that this will be one of those situations.

Rox - no? I mean she's not Catholic or anything like that but she'd probably say she was "spiritual" and she's into a lot of new agey type stuff (nb we are v v different). I think more than anything she's got it in her head that this is the only chance she'll ever have to have a kid and she desperately wants a baby. She keeps saying "But I'm 35!" and stuff like that. I've tried to tell her that it's not but she's not really hearing it. Also the day she found out she put one of those "your baby is the size of a grape" things on her phone and keeps referencing that too.

x-post - That's what I'm trying to do. I think she'd actually be a really great mom with the right partner and support system I'm just not sure that she has either of those right now and worry that she'll get very overwhelmed. You're right though and that's what I'm going to try to do.

this is the kind of situation that new-skool social workers would approach from a "strengths-based" perspective, focusing on strengths, resources, any and all positives that your friend can draw on (like you!) instead of getting blinded by the obvious negatives.

This is kool, thanks.

i went through a similar thing with a friend very recently and it was hella stressful for me (which of course made me feel like a selfish asshole)
i'm still trying to slog through it honestly, among 500 other things
being stressed out suuuuuucks

also rox i'm glad you have some answers -- i can totally see how that would be reassuring

(which of course made me feel like a selfish asshole)

Yes!

Part of me is like why is this stressing me out so much but I feel really uneasy about the entire thing. Also, I'm still pretty stressed out these days generally speaking which I'm sure isn't helping how I'm dealing with this but I just keep telling myself to just be there and listen and hope for the best etc. I pretty excited to go down and see her next week as I haven't in a while and I know she's looking forward to it too. There's a chance I might see her family though and I hope it doesn't all get too dramatic.

side note - I was looking at cards to get her and found one that killed me that said "Congratulations on your new huge boobs" but then I worried that she might not think it was that funny or be insulted because somehow cause he kind of already has enormous boobs so I got a different one and then the next day she texts me a picture of herself that says "my boobs are huge!" and I was like DAMMIT!