no boys allowed in the room!!!!

yes.

once i was giving a coworker shit about saying some mildly misogynistic stuff, but it was a happy hour and everyone was kind of drunk so i was trying to keep my tone light, and he got all, c'mon, you're being too sensitive!!! and then i yelled at him for real.

Woo! xp

I know I shouldn't do this, because I will get accused of all sorts of terrible things, but, WCC, are you talking about this post?

this thread is like when you're talking to someone in a hallway and they start to describe an argument they recently had with someone. in telling the story the gradually shift into a mode where they're impersonating the argument. then they get really into it and you, as a listener, are morphed into the person that they recently had the argument with, and pretty soon you're just getting yelled at in a hallway

― Thanks WEBSITE!! (Z S), Wednesday, August 15, 2012 3:57 PM (1 hour ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Because it specifically says that THE WHOLE THREAD is like that. And other people who follow it suggest it should be an ENTIRE BOARD DESCRIPTION. It is not targeted at you, it is not even gendered.

Nobody called you a crazy shouting lady. Saying that is not lampshading or gaslighting, it is simply the truth. They may have made you feel small by reminding you of other times that people have called you such things, but they didn't do it themselves. I am not saying that you're not allowed to feel hurt that your participation in the thread is described as such. I'm just saying that it was not aimed at your participation alone. I'm not saying that your past experiences are invalid or non-existent, I'm just saying that the words that are actually written are important, as well as the history you bring to them.

I know I shouldn't do this

You're right. You shouldn't do that.

not sure where else to put this but: http://www.stuff.co.nz/national/health/7595532/Breastapo-tactics-upset-bottle-feeders

this is so insane to me!!!!

The ministry contracts the NZ Breastfeeding Authority to audit maternity facilities to be "baby friendly", as part of New Zealand's obligations to the World Health Organisation and Unicef. Nearly all maternity facilities are currently accredited.

Under the baby-friendly policy, mothers must make an “informed decision on feeding”, but formula cannot be discussed during antenatal classes. To retain the baby-friendly accreditation, maternity units must maintain an 80 per cent exclusive breastfeeding rate.

there was an earlier article on this, and it mentioned some tv ad (i forget the subject) which featured a famous NZ sportsman bottle-feeding his kid - ppl went CRAZY complaining that it promoted formula-feeding... no mention of how maybe there was BREAST MILK in that bottle, so that both parents can share parenting duties????

Yeah, it's nuts. I understand encouraging breastfeeding - it's healthier and more economical for a start. There are, however, many reasons that might make it extremely difficult or impossible for some women to breastfeed and that those mothers are made to feel bad about deciding to formula feed really makes me angry. In some cases choosing to formula/bottle feed is really a decision that enable the mom to be the best parent she can be (work, stress because bfeeding isn't going well, whatever) and it's awful how women who choose that route are often demonized.

Yep, friend of mine couldnt bf due to severe mastitis, and thanks to naggy snippy people judging her she ended up having a breakdown :/

As I've said on some other thread, the claims people make about breastfeeding are overstated most of the time at best and misleading at worst. There are simply too many variables that affect children's health outcomes...to say for certain that breastfeeding plays as big a role as we're currently saying it does is bananas.

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/04/the-case-against-breast-feeding/307311/

one of the women interviewed in that article had someone say to her 'if you can't breastfeed you shouldn't breed' - what the fucking fuck?????

x-post - Oh nice, will read later.

Yeah, it is a little crazy. I think it at least started well-intentioned after a couple decades where formula feeding was the norm and women weren't really encouraged to breastfeed at all but it's going totally the other way and just seems a bit extreme. Make whatever choice allows you to parent to the best of your ability, you know? Formula isn't evil - the kid will be fine.

OTM

Breastfeeding seems to be rare in the small towns I have been in, per the pediatrician offices I visit. Not everyone can do it and feel lucky and grateful that I have been able to. But because I do, I worry constantly about the quality of my milk. So far, our baby is where she should be, if not better, so I continue.

The impression I have had is that breast milk is only healthy if you are. I have never thought breast milk across the board is good, all individual, many variables. I know programs like WIC emphasize breastfeeding for economic reasons but also stress a well balanced diet to do so.

I do know of a woman who was dead set on breastfeeding despite the fact that her pediatrician said her baby was not thriving and should be switched to formula. She refused to switch. I have no idea what happened to her or her baby but that is an example of what can happen where there is a heavy pressure to breastfeed.

Based on a documentary I once saw, New Zealand is where just about everyone has a micro farm in their backyard, make their own soap and clothing, harvest their own salad and honey.....so that article doesn't surprise me.

That's the image nz sells to the rest of the world, but believe me - it's far from true

Do tell....less creepy thinking most of the country is not a commune.

just read the comments on any news story from stuff.co.nz, i think that will reveal NZ is as full of empathy-lacking, greedy, sexist, racist, homophobic assholes as anywhere else

Hey to change the topic, any other gals w/the nuvaring here? If so, leave it in during?? Or take out? Can you tell? My uterus is flippy floppy so I don't think it's in the normal position for me.

Also does anyone else constantly read nuvaring as a verb in the present participle??

leave it in.

i don't use it anymore but i never took it out, couldn't tell, was never a prob outside of the hormones being a prob (which is why i stopped using it)

well, i mean i took it out when it was time to take it out, but not for any other reason

Yeah. Don't have one now but had one and you leave it in.

this pic of natalie wood cracked me up
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9g05l0Biz1qdjn0ao1_500.jpg

It's like she knows how ridiculous that dress is, but is having fun with it anyway. Awwww. Poor Nat.

i was looking at her yoni hands + huge smile!

W/r/t nuvaring: leave it in. Be aware, though, that the physical um interaction can pull/suction it out without anyone noticing? I woke up with it lost in the sheets more than once, and that means it was out for hours longer than it's supposed to be. Didn't prove to be a problem, but it was not reassuring.

I am just gonna sit here and lol for a while at "yoni hands."

You can also experience a "ring toss" situation with the Nuva Ring, but I do not view that as a drawback because it's hilarious.

i had to think about that for a minute. and then, OH.

lolz.

yoni hands

omg

wow I did not know yoni hands are a thing. Jay-z does this a lot, but not in front of his vagina. I think it's the Official Gesture of Roc-a-Fella records (don't even get me started on THAT name..)

http://www.pointsincase.com/files/u2/jay-z-roc-sign.jpg

i always left the nuva ring in. my gyno told me that since it has such a low dose of hormones that it's best to only take it out if absolutely necessary? take that w/ a grain, because i don't think i've seen that in any literature.

I think the official lit says UP TO 3 HOURS, or at least it used to. I always assumed that was the most cautious possible estimate and that it was likely to be okay for longer than that, but who wants to chance it? Not me.

it is the only hormonal method ever that didnt make me feel like an emotionless zombie

I know. I've used it two or three different times. Eventually even the low level of hormones was too much for me, also I had some srs personal problems I should have solved sooner rather than later which were probably was was REALLY making me a zombie but I'm grateful for my IUD anyway.

I am getting mine out in a couple weeks and I'm scared! I hope it doesn't hurt too bad.

When I had one out, it was eh painful-ish, but also really fast. Totally different from the insertion in that it was over so quickly.

OK, good. That's what I was hoping.

Oh yeah, I had an IUD taken out and it was nothing. No worse than a pap smear, and totally unlike the insertion (which made me want to die).

Thanks guys, I feel better.

I have been going condoms-only and I'm just too paranoid for it. Plus freaky deaky accident already! God! Went to pull it out and I followed all the directions – held onto it at the base and whatnot, but it was stuck inside me and didn't want to come out?? Such a thing has never happened before. My #1 rule is no babies so I hope the plan B did its job.

IUD insertion didn't work for me. The man who 'tried' to insert it was one of the most condescending authority figures I've had to deal with in my life.

lol <3 "my #1 rule is no babies"
i love that rule

yes
I have a little 1" piece of cardboard with this picture taped to my turntable

http://www.thefix.com/sites/default/files/styles/article/public/no-pregnancy-fix.jpg

you have no idea how happy that makes me

i recognize it from somewhere. is it from an accutane container? i think my friend showed me something like that when she was on it but i could be misremembering

yes, I had an endless supply of them when my brother was taking Accutane

Hmmm. I feel like I would kind of like to discuss this:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2012/sep/17/cool-girl-gone-girl

Adewunmi is generally a pretty cool columnist, and I have not read the book in question, but there is just so much "Hmmmmm" in my response to that article.

Because this assumption (from the book, rather than Adewunmi herself): "You are not dating a woman, you are dating a woman who has watched too many movies written by socially awkward men who'd like to believe that this kind of woman exists and might kiss them." is such bullshit.

I don't doubt that that trope exists and is manipulated in male authored films to turn into a new kind of MPDG. But there *are* girls who grow up tomboys and geekgirls and have interests associated with the "wrong" gender and are into those things because we like them not because we're looking for ~male approval~.

Which I think she tries to get into in the latter half of the article, but at the same time, I'm still feeling butthurt and twitchy at being told that because a kind of woman has been manipulated into a male fantasy figure, that means somehow she doesn't exist at all? It just feels like one of those "you can't win either way." But maybe I don't know what she's talking about because I haven't seen the films or read the book. But having spent most of my life being "the girl who was not into girly shit" I resent being told I was that way because of ~Patriarchy~.

having spent most of my life being "the girl who was not into girly shit" I resent being told I was that way because of ~Patriarchy~.

tbh i was that way because of patriarchy? i mean, not because i wanted to be attractive but at least in part because as a child i thought boy things were better than girl things (once i'd ascertained that the use of things was gendered), and i lived in a culture which confirmed this belief for me, so that my nascent interest in e.g. playing with toy cars or listening to indie became a repudiation of 'girly shit'. But everyone is the way they are because of patriarchy! it has been an inextricable part of our culture, we can work against it in ourselves but the fact that it was there will always be true.

that is a confused article, anyway - the "cool girl" the quote is railing against is a ladette type, not an MPDG at all.

also: we can win either way

i guess the secret is to remember that other people's definitions never apply to them and so clearly cannot apply to us