your terrible ideas

how would the params work?

ok, so there's already draw.accidentsketch.com/, but it's not optimized for social networking. my site/app would have a like/dislike button (I'm thinking a system where you could vote for which driver was at fault), comment sections for each diagram, and fake petitions to get rid of annoying traffic lights. there'd be a Facebook tie-in and iPhone app and stuff.

how would the params work?

I'd probably just steal draw.accidentsketch.com's system, where you can just drag graphic building blocks into the picture (or into each frame, if it's an animated gif).

there'd be a text-based param interface too, but I'm not sure how that would work. there'd have to be a way to animate traffic lights (green for 3 seconds, yellow for ½ second, red for 90 seconds), for one thing.

I figure most of the people who used this thing would be irrational hotheads who'd drew up every scenario to make themselves look like amazing drivers surrounded by idiots/haters, so there'd have to be a way to create diagrams that wouldn't even be possible in real life.

Family Band: a photography business that specializes in family portraits posed in the style of band photos. Like mother, father and children staggered in the foreground and background, looking in different directions, in an abandoned warehouse.

You could even do portraits in the style of famous band photos/album covers, e.g. family zipping up flies after pissing on a giant concrete thingy.

― Scott, bass player for Tenth Avenue North (Hurting 2), Tuesday, May 8, 2012 4:22 PM (3 weeks ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

What does it say about me that after reading "Family Band" the first thing that came to mind was Black Flag's Family Man.

that's a good idea unreg

A new Blackberry tablet that has a scale blackberry keyboard instead of a touchscreen

That would make the keyboard almost usable...

how about a zx spectrum style rubber keyboard you could stick on top of any tablet?

That's a terrible terrible idea - loads of people would buy that.

hopfeully someone here will steal it so i don't either have to go to the trouble of making it happen, or forever curse my failure for doing so.

I just like the image of a tablet that's just a large scale blackberry w half the body taken up by a keyboard

xp phew, i'm relieved of my burden:
http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1030552097/ikeyboard-0

It's not how I imagined it. I was picturing something more like an actual ZX Spectrum keyboard.

Actually that would be more like a Z88.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/a/a2/Cambridge-Z88.png/640px-Cambridge-Z88.png

that kickstarter thing must be hugely unsatisfying. you'd get the rough look of a keyboard but you'd go insane pining for the tactile sensation of pressing actual keys. or maybe you already get that feeling when you use the iPad the right way. I dunno.

UP 'n' ATM: a cash machine for elevators

Pretty sure they already have these in Las Vegas or some other heavy gambling place like that.

ah but do they have a shitty pun as a product name?

in college I wanted to start a vegan drunk food chain called Tofuck U.

a colleague's terrible idea: a vacation photographer (in the same way you'd hire a wedding photog). you'd give instructions as to what kind of shots you wanted and then you'd just go about your vacation and they'd do the work. you could even have options as to how arty or basic you wanted it, how much posed stuff, how much of you vs the locale, even if you wanted him/her to act like a paparazzo. this would be for rich ppl obv.

xp; Cluck U would probably have a problem with that.

well tofuck them

hahaha I like the vaction photog. You could just give them an itinerary so they can show up *unexpected* instead of tagging along with you.

it would be neat to hire a stand in to actually go on vacation for you, too! then you could instruct the photographer to take a lot of silhouette kind of shots, don't focus on the face too much, and send your vacation results to your baffled friends and family!

a McDonald's burger made out of horsemeat, called The McWhinny. sure, at first McDonald's marketing executives will think it's a terrible name for a burger. "why not name it The McYummy or The McZesty?" they'll say. "something to hide the fact that it's made out of horsemeat." but I think if they hire Danica McKellar (Winnie Cooper from TV's "The Wonder Years") to endorse the burger, they can distract the public from the idea that "whinny" refers to horses. it might only work for a few months tops, but later they can move on to Winnie the Pooh promotions or just generic slogans based on the concept of winning. when it seems like people are starting to catch on, they can just retire the burger and deny everything.

"why not name it The McYummy or The McZesty?" they'll say. "something to hide the fact that it's made out of horsemeat."

hahahaha

An arty WWII-period film about drag queens called "Closely Watched Trannies"

- Break into as many houses as possible and steal any box of Lucky Charms you find. Leave the kitchen cabinet and front doors wide open. Continue until city is in an uproar and the heat is on to you.

- The following year, break into as many houses as possible and rip open every cereal box you find. Be named 'Cereal Killer' by journos.

- The year after that, get caught breaking into someone's house dressed as Capt Crunch. The next year, read in prison about copycat pranksters.

Reboot of 'Murder, She Wrote' starring Kate Mulgrew.

Qween - a combined Ween and Queen cover band.

A maths themed bar called 'The Square Root', advertised with the slogan 'Be there or b squared'.

<3 this thread

going to random memorial websites and posting surreal, barely literate anecdotes about the deceased in the guestbooks. nothing profane, just the kind of weird stories mourners tell when they're trying to remember the good times and have a bittersweet laugh ("HE SAID 'YOU'LL COUGH UP THAT OLD RAT SKULL WITHIN AN HOUR,' AND BY GOSH HE WAS RIGHT! THAT'S JOE FOR YA, RIP BIG MAN YOU ARE MISSED"). I'd pretend to be an old schoolmate or hunting buddy, and I'd keep the tone respectful enough and the circumstances vague enough that the person's loved ones couldn't quite tell whether they were being trolled, and they'd feel obligated to take the stories in good faith.

^this is what i hope/expect for my own funeral. pls don't be kind.

terrible idea

Scottish L7 tribute band called Pretend We're Deed.

a colleague's terrible idea: a vacation photographer (in the same way you'd hire a wedding photog). you'd give instructions as to what kind of shots you wanted and then you'd just go about your vacation and they'd do the work. you could even have options as to how arty or basic you wanted it, how much posed stuff, how much of you vs the locale, even if you wanted him/her to act like a paparazzo. this would be for rich ppl obv.

― goole, Friday, June 8, 2012 4:56 PM Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

uhh...

http://live.wsj.com/video/dont-forget-to-pack-a-photographer/DA606752-74E7-4A2F-AB24-205B3F9C9766.html?mod=wsj_hps_tboright#!DA606752-74E7-4A2F-AB24-205B3F9C9766

believe me we've been hearing about that article all week.

Dude tell your friend next time he has a terrible idea he needs to act fast.

It's also one of those things that almost makes me want to quote baudrillard. Like back in college I probably would have written a pretentious essay about it for the campus weekly.

oversized black tee with a stop sign graphic and giant white block letters: "STOP SCHVITZIN'"

street fiction for yuppies: crude self-published novels sold off of sidewalk tables, with titles like "Brownstone Betrayal" and "Hot Yoga"

would buy

a post-punk supergroup called Your Granny on Bongos, made up of all surviving former members of The Fall

'Dub! Step! Beyond!' - an album of Madness covers done dubstep style.

a bar with a mcdonald's-style play area for kids of patrons

they exist. they are truly terrible.

http://www.pub-restaurant.co.uk/wacky_warehouse.tpl

i have honestly never seen a more soulless place for drinking

http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3139/2943676381_917d343f8d.jpg

"PJ Stinky's Drinkatorium and Fun Time Wullaballoo"

It looks like a Wells Fargo