rolling metal 2009 lols only critban

O_O

http://classifieds.thestranger.com/seattle/ViewAd?oid=oid%3A1323264

Ex-Mudslide Frontman Steve Thunderbolt seeks talented bassist and drummer to form a new heavy metal band

Ex-Mudslide Frontman the great Steve Thunderbolt seeks a talented bassist and drummer to form a new heavy metal band. I play rhythm and lead guitar and sing. I play thrash, black, and glam metal. The only band in the history of heavy metal who has ever attempted this was Celtic Frost. It failed because they were too much glam and not enough black and thrash metal. I am the other way around, in that I have more black and thrash metal songs than I do glam songs, but I do have blonde hair so I have a glam image. I have a 12 track recorder and have made numerous cds for Mudslide including "Secret Right to Rock and Roll Reloaded," "Dragonfly of Passion," "Hollywood and Vine," "Columbia City Theater Live," "Studio 7 Live," "The Central Saloon Live 1 and 2," "Station 56 Live," "Chai House Live," "Colortura," "Merkava," "Dark Prophet," and our last album, "In My Final Hours." I have a lot of gigging experience and have my own amps and equipment. Please be over 21 and under 45. Alcohol and drugs are fine except for heroin and crack, so if you are into heroin or crack please do not respond to this ad. All races are welcome except for blacks, so if you are black, pleae do not respond to this ad. I am not racist, it is a drug issue and a safety issue and I cannot have black people at my house. I live in Issaquah and use my house as a practice space. So if you wanna do something that's only been attempted once before in the entire history of music, email mudslider✧✧✧@gm✧✧✧.c✧✧ or call 425-306-9353. Belive me, where Celtic Frost failed, I will succeed.

"I'm not racist, Im just totally racist."

its amazing that "where celtic frost failed" has been stated and its NOT the most offensive thing in the paragraph

^

pleae

"but I do have blonde hair so I have a glam image"

travis ryan worked at the used record store near my house when he was in high school. he was the angriest clerk ever! i guess the bacon mask gave him really bad acne or something. the vegan burger at my local bar is named after the band.

should say "when I was in high school", he was maybe 5-10 years older

best drone/noise show i ever saw was his side project, i think it was called UMM iirc

UUM

preceded by UPSILON ACRUX and followed by SOUL JUNK ... all killer no filler.

i can't believe i missed seeing vegan black metal chef until today when a friend linked to it on fb. but of course it's in this thread already. i will pay more attention!
it is good.

hahaha i love "angriest clerk ever!"

that should have read "when I was in high school" not him

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jRNf_72h2LE

i figured it was so

rolling metal brags: i'm playing with watain in may

cattle decapitation garbage pail kids cards!

Halehelter Airlines is conducting a poll to determine which Norwegian to memorialize on their planes. Current voting shows Øystein Aarseth to be in 1st place. Øystein Aarseth is better known as Euronymous, the founder of the Norwegian black metal band Mayhem. He was murdered by his band mate Varg Vikernes in 1993.

omg guys i cant believe i didnt post this

im working at a civil war house this summer, making their grounds into an arboretum, and a guy lives in a cottage on their cemetery grounds and maintains the cemetery - his name is PER OHLIN

http://29.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m2ylqxdWCg1r73qq5o1_500.jpg

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=542EmJfqD_I

am0n i've never before suggested that you obtain a late pass, but this is an appropriate time to do so

that gif has always bugged me because it denies abbath's encyclopedic knowledge of the natural world. the implication of ignorance bears no scrutiny

i know u hate it when black metal is mocked, esp immortal >_<

to atone, how about this
http://www.ugo.com/web-culture/worst-heavy-metal-tattoos

http://mimg.ugo.com/201201/0/0/8/216800/cuts/black-sabbath_528_poster.jpg

oh

i dont mind it being mocked, i mock it, its just not automatically humorous

oh bless his heart with the black sabbaht tat

we have 2 things to talk about and that is that randy blythe from lamb of god is going to prison for 10 years, and then http://www.avclub.com/articles/the-guy-who-punched-danzig-is-writing-a-book-about,81988/

My prisoner solidarity group will not be writing to Randy Blythe.

http://www.facebook.com/argentinumastrum

thats my band like us

not really a lol more of a shill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gQcGljqpfdg

oops wrong link hahaha

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x7Y2DCIC3SU&feature=player_embedded#!

yes i

yes i

found on a GIS lol

http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/img-set/BQcDAAAAAwoDanBnAAAABC5vdXQKFlBvR0YzMDhKNEJHWlB2aG0tOXZQVHcAAAACaWQKAXgAAAAEc2l6ZQ.jpg

http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/39478351/Opeth+Croc.jpg

*astonished*

travis ryan is getting married tomorrow u_u
thread comes full circle

RIP

heaven needed a pro

heaven needed to be severely butthoused

jacob bannon from converge is auctioning off a puppet-style conversation with his right hand on ebay

jacob bannon from converge needs to be severely butthoused

i hate his appearance

thats such a lame thing to say but it is at least perfectly honest

guys i know theres like bigger news tonight, but the guy from 6 feet under punched travis ryan in the face!!!

http://www.thegauntlet.com/article/485/26617/SIX-FEET-UNDER-s-Chris-Barnes-Punches-CATTLE-DECAPITATION-s-Travis-Ryan

RAN

Travis Ryan
18 minutes ago via mobile ·
Over the last 8 or so years, we've been asked many times to do a Six Feet Under tour. Because of all the horror stories we heard about Chris Barnes from friends who toured with him, we just were never interested in taking part of that. Recently when we agreed to do the tour, it was only on the basis that we didnt have any merch restrictions. No price matching, no limits on designs. Because of the Shockwave tour we were forced to miss, we were fully stocked and had a ton of stuff and now have a huge bill for it. After the first night of the tour, Chris freaked out because of all the merch we had. They tried limiting our designs, but we had in many emails to and from booking agents and documents, that there were to be no merch restrictions. Period. After a bunch of back and forth with their tour manager, the label and between ourselves, we finally agreed to do 4 designs in hopes to just eliminate any drama. We have minded our own business with limited drama ever since. Well, according to our merch guy we did better than them again and this is where it gets lame...

Since Chris mostly hides in his tour bus, they set up a meet and greet at their merch booth, we figure to help generate merch sales. Chris came in and did it right as we hit the stage. Fine, do what you need to do dude. Twice while they were on stage Chris made some typical veggie wisecracks, one was a commentary on the crowd walkout, and one was just dumb and it was apparent to all of us standing there that they were jabs against us, the band following his ass, supporting his band nightly. Ridiculous. So, i confronted him after he left the stage about it. Just words (I will admit i was speaking loudly and with an amount of anger and cursing), just asking if that was really necessary to do to his support band but according to some "industry" peeps that know him well, nobody stands up to barnes. He basically just says "well then how about just having some respect then?", I assume because he's Chris Barnes from Cannibal Corpse or something, that he felt he deserved a mountain of respect and that i should just lay down and take it. I proceed to explain that he lost my respect years ago simply from the kinds of things he did to our friends' bands just trying to tour and SUPPORT his band and the way he treats his fans first and foremost. THESE actions over the years have forced me to see him as unrespectable, even with those first 3 bad ass CC albums under his belt. He got up off the sofa, approaches me, hit the side edge of my jaw right in the middle of my words and i spilled my beer all over their drum tech (sorry Dave). He immediately quickly left the scene and out to his bus. In fact, he was in motion on his way out as he hit me. The only people in the room as far as i could tell was his band members and/or road crew.

I get it. Hes got a big bus to pay for, roadies (one even told one of us he was Chris' bodyguard?), the rest of the band, the whole nine yards. Sorry someone didnt have the foresight to properly order merch, but thats got nothing to do with us. We NEVER wanted to do a tour with Chris Barnes/SFU. We just wanted to get back out and play for our fans who missed us on the previously cancelled tour and this was the only thing around. People kept telling us "Chris really wants you guys" and thats cool and all, we just didnt see it being a tour that we needed to be on, but like i said... It was something to do and we felt we needed to get in front of our fans asap. Since the final stipulation was we were told there were no merch restrictions, we OK'd it. How Chris Barnes didnt get that memo has nothing to do with us. We budged against our personal wishes and we still sold more merch and there were some walkouts. We dont control the fans of any band and what they decide to do with their money and time.

I made it clear to their camp that i have to watch out for our band and they totally understood that we were right, since after all it was all in writing. Im not totally innocent, i went in there and called him out to his face, but from across the room (not literally in his face). I was pissed and just didnt give a shit anymore. I woke up pissed that we now have to figure something else out and i ranted about it on my personal facebook (which was screen shot and then posted on every metal site there is) and now im hearing that Barnes deleted his bragging tweet from last night and is now saying he didnt even hit me? Haha... Its a weird world we live in for sure.

Point blank, i believe the fact that Chris would never have agreed to no merch restrictions and thats fine. We never would have done the tour if there were and here we are. In the exact same scenario we saw coming over many, many years but since we took people on their word (and had it in writing), we took the tour.

Let it be known that i did not call the cops, file a police report or press charges even though management and literally everyone else around me was telling me i should. But that would just be lame.

At the end of the day, i was only looking out for US = my friends - our band. Even if it meant standing up to a dude i once had a lot of respect for and are on the same label as. Im a filter for 4 dudes as this band is a democracy and we all know what went down and watched this unfold. We are all on the same page.