your terrible ideas

haha - whenever I hear/think about SWOT analysis, I think about feeling like a hostage in board/staff retreats where this is often done, and dreaming about being rescued by a SWAT team.

"You are surrounded. Put down the flip chart markers. Do not think that you can use that whiteboard for cover. Our bullets will pierce that shit and penetrate your vital organs."

terrible lack of concision in yr SWAT instructions

brevity or gtfo in a live fire situation please

"Drop that copy of 'Peopleware', asshole!"

someone else's terrible idea; the term 'peopleware'

It makes me think of those restaurants where you can eat food off of people.

S: You have flipchart markers.
W: You cannot use that whiteboard for cover.
O: You can surrender.
T: Our bullets will pierce that shit and penetrate your vital organs.

starting a solo (non-jazz) project called Jazz Lawyer

importing professional wrestling into china except replacing wrestling with martial arts so that all the fights look like this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZBtTx6jItI

German cocaine rapper called Deutsche Gram

Barnes & Noble checkout aisle type book called "Brevity is the Soul of Twit: 10 Minutes of Great Tweets"

Also, get Jay-Z to rerecord version of Izzo for birthdays that goes "H to the Pizzo, B to the Dizzay, for shizzle my nizzle we be singin happy birthday!"

The Confusions of Young TourLes - Novella about folie-a-deux suffered by two viciously abused young central defenders at an elite football club in northern England

pretty amusling

:)

a beer called Fractional Reserve where each bottle is only like 1/7 full.

― ball (Hurting 2), Tuesday, 7 December 2010 07:03 (2 days ago)

^^

distill ipa until it's 7x normal strength

Villa D'estela - Short lived 80s music show on New Zealand television in which ilxor estela interviewed the dead c, the smiths and alberto fujimori

any TV show with estela as the host is a great idea.

ILX Battle Royale, 51 zing crew ppl or zing crew wannabes duke it out -- winner gets to be a sitewide mod, but the other 50 have to actually die

walk the fucken walk hardman

I had this idea for a line of dialogue I want to work into a script, but I have no context for it, except that it's delivered by a bitter character named Lou, and it goes "Freedom?! Freedom's just another word for nothing left for Lou!"

Also, a film idea the lady and I developed together for a Lifetime TV-type movie called "Speaking from the Heart":

---
Tim is a lovable twenty-something gay deaf-mute living in Minneapolis. Happy in his relationship but estranged from his parents because of his sexuality, he struggles with Eileen, his 40-ish therapist, to find self-acceptance. But meanwhile, Eileen has her own single-parent struggles with her rebellious teenaged daughter. Audiences will cry and cheer at the heartwarming climax, when Tim witnesses a fight between Eileen and her daughter; after the daughter storms out, Tim's mouth begins to tremble, as he "breaks his silence" to tell Eileen "Y-y-y-y-yu-yuh-yuh-yy-You N-n-n-n-n-n-nee-n-n-need each-ch-ch-other."
In the final scene, Tim's parents join him and his boyfriend and Eileen and her daughter for Thanksgiving dinner.

― Hurting (Hurting), Monday, November 7, 2005 10:23 PM Bookmark

Boxer briefs without the legs.

horrifying

that makes no sense.

its like saying "strapless bra w/ straps."

xxp isn't that just a very loose fitting thong?

oh now I see why it's a terrible idea O_O

Buy up a block of cheap old rowhouses in the projects. Knock out some walls and paint it green with two antennae and have a caterpillar mansion.

Human Centihouse

^^^ could also be name of new genre of microhouse -- maybe where short excerpts of songs are just daisy-chained one after another.

Gets progressively more shit as it goes on?

sounds like a fiery furnaces album amirite

(I <3 them btw)

negative 100 calorie packs of celery*. they would be huge.

*cuz you lose more calories digesting celery than you gain by metabolizing it

Office printer paper that comes pre-stained with coffee to make it seem like everyone is working really hard.

xp That is not really true of celery, making that a truly capital bad idea!

Browser plug-in that automatically inserts spelling mistakes into message board posts. Settings: 'ILX', 'BCO', '4ch4n'

car doors that don't fully close so you can never slam your fingers in them

it CAN be true about celery depending on your metabolism. also: grapefruit.

ok so this is a terrible idea that I think I may see yet in my lifetime

"legal limit" soda. the sugariest soda allowed by legal law. the whole selling point is that if you bought it, opened it, and added a packet of sugar, well boy, you'd better hope there aren't any cops around because buddy you could be arrested!

I'd have to look into FDA regs, though.

a song about sacco and vanzetti to the tune of 'viva las vegas'

is there really a legal limit for sugar in a soda?

just sell some sugar packaged in soda cans

or drink 2 sodas

"just add seltzer water"

I dunno if there's a legal limit to sugar in sodas. if there is, then I would change the idea to something like "Impossibly Sweet Soda!"

the hook would be that this is the most sugar available in a soda according to scientific law - even if you tried to add more sugar to it, it wouldn't work, the sugar would just fall to the bottom, undissolved.

drinking it would be like drinking that $20 slushee bart bought from the kwik-e-mart.

Wouldn't this be just a jar of HFCS in the US? Or a squeezy bottle of Golden Syrup in the UK?

232 page book called 'Why England Lose'

all pages blank, except for 191 which says

lol

Website: www.grouporn.com which somehow involves group coupons for porn. Haven't quite worked it out yet.

group ORN - canadian logistics and services conglomerate with suspiciously high web traffic