no boys allowed in the room!!!!

A lot of my husband's diet during his parents' divorce consisted of rose petals and fruit gathered from his neighbor's yards.

so long as he didn't steal radishes from the witch next door

Oh, now I know why he's...oh, wait....

I just had the most unexpectedly delightful evening with the most unlikely person.

A conversation I was expecting to be awkward and a bit weird turned out to be incredibly fun and entertaining.

:-)

aw :)

Oooh, am intrigued.

when you eat beets and you have reddish pee - do you ever do a double-take and think briefly that your period might have started? This happened to me at least once.

I have never had reddish pee from eating beets! Or at least I've never noticed.

This is gonna be one of those days, isn't it? When I'm bored out of my mind and there's no action of any depth on ILX as distraction and I'm really wishing we could some of shallow chat about breakfast cereal or haircuts to take me out of the funk I've got myself into.

Should I get my hair bobbed like I had when I was 8 again, or will I miss my ridiculously long hair? It is two foot long but it's got so thin at the ends from being dyed too much.

Just trimming the ends isn't an option ?

Bored, just want a change.

Cut it! Drastic hair changes are great fun.

Yep. I vote cut too!

i'm gonna have to come down on the side of trim it. i will never have hair that is 2 feet long and oh! the things i would do with my hair if it were long and beautiful! i dream about it sometimes. if you cut it, at least donate it so that someone can have a wig.

I only have a really old grainy polaroid type photo from the 70s but I found it recently and just thought it was a good length.

http://farm5.static.flickr.com/4092/4974373120_af586275ac_o.jpg

But it would involve
1) cutting about a foot and a half off my hair
2) finding a hairdresser I trust enough to cut a foot and a half off my hair because I haven't had a haircut in, like, 5 years

Then again, considering how that above haircut was probably administered, I could just wait another week until my mum gets here and present her with a pudding bowl and a pair of scissors.

You said you weigh 200 pounds, right? If you get your hair cut short it will make the rest of your body look bigger because you don't have that extra hair on top as a balance.

Christine, you're such a *tactful* person.

My mother had my hair cut that short at about the same age you did--as a punishment. (I can't remember what I was being punished for, but I kept the style for a couple of years.) I need to get a trim today because a couple of people have asked me to send them a picture.

Christine, you're such a *tactful* person.

??? I'm just saying what I've noticed with my hair and other women's hair.

You said you weigh 200 pounds, right? If you get your hair cut short it will make the rest of your body look bigger because you don't have that extra hair on top as a balance.

I don't think that's true. I have short hair (not unlike Karen's pic) and I get a lot of compliments and don't look disproportionate.

Your weight is your weight -- nothing will really "distract" people from noticing it, like visual tricks or optical illusions or something! You can make the rest of you look and BE so awesome, though, that they notice your weight but don't remember it, because it's not one of the most important things about you. I think a great haircut that suits you, suits your face, and fits into your lifestyle is one of the biggest advantages a person can have! (A smile that you want to climb inside of is probably tied with "great hair" for first place, but let's not quibble.)

You know, maybe it's a cultural thing or whatever, but I'm really not used to someone flat out saying to an effective stranger "you're overweight, so that hairstyle will make you look like even more of a fatty."

I just find that really really o_0 like that's a kind of personal observation I wouldn't make to a close friend, let alone a random internet acquaintance. But I guess I just don't get girl culture. When you say you're feeling a bit down and want to talk about getting a haircut to cheer you up - I do think it's kind of tactless to say the least to point out how huge they are and how a haircut will make them look even bigger.

This kind of behaviour is *really* alien to me.

i think face shape is actually the most important thing to consider with a hair style: i've realised that really long hair really ~doesn't~ flatter my face all, and i suit it much better at shoulder-ish length.

the problem is that i'm extremely lazy about getting my hair cut so it inevitably ends up a couple of feet long.

My face is supposedly "heart-shaped" (whatever that means.) Does this mean I can rock a bob or not?

you could certainly rock a bob in that picture! (so cuet!!)

Thanks! I am wondering if I'm just secretly hoping that getting that haircut will make me magically as cuet as an eight year old again. ;-)

Yeah, Christine, that came across as pretty tactless. I don't think that's "girl culture" either, or at least it shouldn't be.

Heart shaped faces look fab w/ bobs!

I think Christine is only applying a standard that she believes in for herself, is the thing. I'm pretty sure you've mentioned that you prefer to keep your own hair longer for the same reason, C...? Good intentions, maybe an indelicate execution.

Kate: I weigh about the same as you do. I'm not talking about hiding extra weight or think it's something to be hidden, I just don't think heavier women look good with short hair. It's not a value judgement. I don't think of you as a virtual stranger--we've both been posting to ILX, what, about nine years now?--but as a fellow ILXor. This is the kind of advice I'd want to have given to me, not 'tactful' advice. Advice I could use. Also, I have little or no personal experience of adult 'girl culture', so I have no idea if other women act like me.

Heart-shaped faces have a narrow forehead, wide, broad cheekbones, and a narrow, pointed chin.

(Forgot to post that I have one myself.)

And I do apologize if I've hurt you, Kate.

You said you weigh 200 pounds, right? If you get your hair cut short it will make the rest of your body look bigger because you don't have that extra hair on top as a balance.

― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, September 17, 2010 10:05 AM (1 hour ago) Bookmark

hey, this is nonsense. many women of many different sizes look great with short hair.

I agree with Laurel and Just1n3 - and another, fucked up cultural stigma of overweight women, is that overweight = slovenly, unkempt - so the traditional advice is to look like you take care of your appearance to compensate. Of course, this also ties in which the projection of confidence that Laurel mentions upthread.

I generally try to keep my hair about chin-length, but then I think I have a fairly short neck and broad shoulders

That actually reminds me of something else - if I had short hair, I'd have to wash it every day. That is a massive plus for super long hair - if you don't feel like washing it, you can stick it in a ponytail and it doesn't look that awful, but shorter hair has to be clean. (Unless you are a skinny floppy boy in a dronerock band, in which case it can be as filthy as he likes.)

Christine I'm sorry that you don't like the way you look with short hair. Insisting that all fat women look bad with short hair is still really annoying. You don't even know what I look like, you know?

It just feels like you're projecting on the rest of us because of something unpleasant that happened to you.

hey, let's not gang up on christine - she apologised, and it's obvious that she didn't mean to be insulting or rude.

i like having short hair but i do worry every time i get it cut that it's going to make my face look like a fat football. all i can do is rely on my hairdresser to have some experience of making ppl look good!

It just feels like you're projecting on the rest of us because of something unpleasant that happened to you.

Something unpleasant? Nothing that I can think of. I'm willing to believe that you're an exception to the "heavier women should wear their hair long" rule--all fashion rules have exceptions.

K - is your hair thin? Other option is you can cut it just long enough so that you could put it up in a ponytail if you don't want to deal with a big change in maintenance.

I honestly don't believe in fashion rules.

Like, I think you get a sense of what feels comfortable (foremost in importance) and doesn't make you look awful, but mostly it's just a question of taste.

AT 5'8" and 200 lbs I know the world of mainstream "fashion" or "style" or whatever you want to call is simply isn't meant for me, so I'm just going to do with my appearance whatever makes *me* happy.

heavier women should wear their hair long

See I've never actually heard that. I have heard that tall women should wear their hair long. I'm 5'10" and haven't had long hair since HS so I give a big FU to that rule and that women over 40 should wear their hair on the shorter side which generally I sort of think has something to it.

My hair is quite babyfine and also I've been dyeing it for so long that it's about 3 different colours so I'd like to cut a chunk out of at least one of those colours. Two years ago, it was blonde and then I dyed it blood red and now I've been dying it gingery red so a lot of the stuff that has now been three different colours is breaking off all over the place so it's very uneven. And that is bugging me, so firstly I want it all one length, and secondly would like to work towards getting it consistent in colour and not in such bad (breaking over-dyed) shape.

/It just feels like you're projecting on the rest of us because of something unpleasant that happened to you./

Something unpleasant? Nothing that I can think of. I'm willing to believe that you're an exception to the "heavier women should wear their hair long" rule--all fashion rules have exceptions.

My point is not to carve out an exception for myself. It's to suggest that insisting on the rightness of this "rule," as though it is just an objective fact and not your opinion born of a bad haircut decision long ago, comes across as judgmental and rude.

Like if I said, "Women over 35 with long hair look awful because they are trying too hard. It is a rule."

xp

I have a terrible feeling that no matter how carefully I get my hair cut, in a week or two it will end up looking like this, because I am terrible at taking care of my hair:

http://userserve-ak.last.fm/serve/_/27952613/Aphex+Twin+young.jpg

I am now so thoroughly confused by all these "rules" that I am going to give up and just shave my head. I haven't had a shaved head since I was 15 and that was amazingly easy to take care of.

Want his shirt, though.

I kinda don't want to cut my hair because I fear that I will start to go baldish in an old lady way soon enough and would like to have lovely flowing long hippie locks while I still can. I suppose I should wait and see as more of my grey hairs come in, if they are going to be wirey and thick or even more babyfine than my regular hair.

Kate honestly just go for it. I think that you would look great with a just below chin length bob and it will take care of all the issues you mentioned. Plus, if you hate it you can always take comfort in the fact that it will grow back.