no boys allowed in the room!!!!

question: have any of you ever stopped taking hormonal bc (i was using nuva) and experienced near constant migraines after doing so?
is this normal? i don't want to be jacked up on hormones for the rest of my life, so that's why i stopped using it. i just need a break.

Estrogen levels have been linked to migraines, but studies have shown that Nuvaring users have the lowest blood-estrogen levels of any of the combined BC method users.

Yeah, that's part of why I was using it -- I get migraines every month anyway, so the low estrogen was helpful. I'm just wondering if this is going to stop at some point. I'll give it 2 weeks.

The nice thing about monophasic hormonal contraception is that you don't really have the fluctuating hormone levels of real life. On or off BC, you're still jacked up on hormones.

I get (possible sort of*) migraines on my week off the pill, which seems related. Was sort of wondering if the light oestrogen levels of the nuvaring wd give me fewer side-effects than I get from the pill - have tried a bunch of different types of pill and had a bunch of different bad reactions, but am keen to keep not ovulating as that hurts too. Ehh.

* tldr version of "possible sort of migraine" = "an aura-less one-sided headache which coincides with nausea and lasts for most of the day for about 4 days in a row but is a lot less severe than the things I have occasionally which I know are migraines because they come with aura" - instead of needing a day off in a dark room I can sit at work and pretend to be working with only occasional trips to lean my forehead against the cold wall of the bathroom and go "unhhhh", but I am probably not actually doing any work, just silently cursing the universe and striplighting and office noise all day

re: surgery padma was talking about, my sister has had that multiple times

how old was she when she first got the cysts?

or whatever they are

its not cysts, its uterine lining that comes out of your uterus and gets in the rest of your body

i dont know, mid-late 20s

yeah yeah i know, sorry

i'm mid-late 20s :(

I was mid twenties when I first started having weird pain. it really sucks. although it is genetic, nobody else in my fam has had it that I know of. I worry about roxy sometimes but hope she avoids this.

it is not cysts. it is just a tissue growing where it is not supposed to be - not really growing out of or seeping out of the uterus, just ALSO growing somewhere else in the body. the tissue swells causing pain and also wraps & spiderwebs around organs.

i had a few of those surgeries mentioned above and then had a presacral neurectomy where they cut the nerves at my spine that lead to pelvic pain. that one was the worst one to recover from because I had to relearn how to pee because the sensation to go felt different.

my mom had it & had to have a hysterectomy. i am wondering if having kids has any influence on it either way but it seems like a lot of people have it who have never had kids.

because it requires estrogen to grow, and estrogen drops during pregnancy, having a baby can make it shrink into not existing anymore since your level drops for 9 months. all the drugs they have come up with so far that make your levels drop are too dangerous to take for longer than 3 months at a time. having a baby would most likely rid my body of the disease, which is very weird.

i am participating in a study right now to get better drugs/cure for this, btw

that is weird, my mom had 3 and still had it. i don't wanna have any. i'm just gonna cross my fingers

I close friend of mine had a hysterectomy at 27 because her endo was so bad. She had even tried chemo to get rid of it but it was completely debilitating and that was the last resort.

Yeah. The presacral things was a last resort for me. I would get stuck in the bathtub and not be able to stand up to get out.

harbl - did your mom have the endo before the kids or just after? was she relieved from pain during the pregnancy at least? that is sad!

i dunno i think it was after. the hysterectomy was when i was like 22, 19 years after 3rd kid. i could be wrong. fwiw i have not experienced any symptoms, not even bad cramps.

i really have no idea. i just never want to have my uterus removed, it didn't seem like fun.

being newly single after a very long time, i've gotten plenty of dating/relationship advice, a lot of it conflicting. But a lot of it is of the "don't worry, it will just happen when you're least expecting it" variety. It seems like this type of thing is something that women get told a lot about various things...it just feels so passive.

Have personally told it to a lot of men too, tbh. Think this is more of a universal truth about trying to make your life run in directions that require the involvement of other people and/or chance opportunity.

but compare it with what we're commonly told about looking for work - another example of something that requires the involvement of other people and/or chance opportunity? I'm not arguing the truth of it, because I obviously don't know.

My advice, as someone who was habitually single until recently, is just to make your life totally awesome. If you already like the life you have, it will be more fun every day AND make you a more interesting/engaged and happier person, which is a great set-up for potentially meeting and/or being attractive to another interesting and happy person.

Also, and you must already know this from yr recent events, never underestimate the pleasure of going to bed when YOU are tired, watching a movie of your choosing that no one criticizes, not worrying about food until YOU are hungry, getting up when you wake up and leaving the house at your leisure and not returning until you run out of fun things to do, and other delights of the single life.

being not-single sounds shitty

being not-single has a lot of enjoyable aspects

it's just interesting how advice/perspectives on love and romance differ from other things in American culture. But maybe not?

So far the most pragmatic advice I've gotten was the suggestion that I invest in a quality eyelash curler so that my eyes will appear larger and more "bambi-like"

That's completely bizarre.

the theory is that by appearing more like a defenseless woodland creature it would activate the male protective instinct - or something like that.

Being not-single is a big adjustment for me, I complain about it rather a lot because my life before was built on being free to commit my time to all my friends and other hobby-ist activities like biking, reading for hours, being gone from home all day for days in a row for dance gigs or practices. I spent very little time actually relaxing at home, and I only involved other people in my activities when it was convenient for me.

This is your prerogative when you're single and childless but it does result in no one being there for you and you alone when you want them. I want someone to miss me, someday.

Sorry, not trying to unleash any universal truths on anybody else with that last two lines. Just to say that my previous life was extremely busy, even over-scheduled, and possibly an extreme of independent. Would NEVER have gotten a pet, for instance, b/c it would need something from me and cramp my schedule.

Would NEVER have gotten a pet, for instance, b/c it would need something from me and cramp my schedule.

Getting a pet was a frequent piece of advice - but I just don't have the time to devote, plus i don't like cleaning up poop.

I want to get a pet but schlepping a small poodle (what I'd get, I like a dog to be smarter than the other dogs) between countries, even with pet passport, or having to leave her for long stretches is a giant pain in the arse.

offended that deer have been described here as defenseless

I was almost attacked by a deer once. Had to run up a hill to escape, truly terrifying.

ps. what guys look that closely at your eyelashes?

pps. what guys are attracted to defenseless woodland creatures? ew

It's a well-known fact that deer can't run up hills. Always head for high ground.

Eyelash curlers scare me.

well, he couldn't see me anymore anyway.

because of eyelash curlers?

Yeah he curled them the wrong way that poor, clumsy animal.

i've never owned or used an eyelash curler - they look too much like surgical tools

they pinch. and they put little bends in your eyelashes...i never could manage to get a curl instead of a series of bends.

I always wondered that. They should call them eyelash crimpers.

Some of them are horrible but I have a lightweight metal pair that are fine (and you can warm them with a hairdryer) - they shouldn't pinch. My eyelashes stick straight out but I look 100x more awake if I curl them.

you put on mascara afterwards and the bends become a curl

So I've been on a few dates with this guy who is really awesome, and I click with well. As its so soon after the billshit I went thru, I obviously just want things to be fun and non committal.

...he has a gf in a compeltely open relationship (he's poly, basically, from what I can gather). I'm not put off by this - its all up front and everything - but I do feel weird.

I'm conflicted, truth be told. I just want casual fun, but I cant let go of that little nagging thought that says "but once you start to have fun you start to get attached and then the poly thing becomes a problem because its a bit of a dealbreaker"... and ARRRGHHH this is fucking doing my head in overthinking things.

I was just *enjoying the moment* all last week. Then reality checked me upside the head. FML.

I dont know what to do.

well, obviously it seems like what you want to do is have fun, feel desirable, and not get too attached to this guy. So, it seems like the question is, how to avoid getting too attached?

this is gonna sound super negative and probably a bunch of ppl will disagree but imo you should quit while you're ahead: you've had some fun, end things now while it's all still good. the absolute truth of the matter is that casual sex funtimes NEVER EVER EVER last in 99.99999999999999999999999% of these situations. someone always gets more attached than the other. don't put yourself through the heartache so soon after the last one.

imo.