no boys allowed in the room!!!!

it's more fun here
we can talk about shopping but not about hating shopping? i mean like, let's embrace it!

i don't want to embrace shopping

shopping? i could talk about that..

i guess i'm not bad at learning languages.. i want to work on spanish, my french is pretty good including the accent, but i had to sit down with a tape recorder and record/play back many many times to get rid of the obvious anglophone sounds. also uh drinking a bit helps, to get past the worry about making mistakes! after a couple glasses of wine i suddenly remembered a lot of francais vocabulary that i hadn't used in years.

i sometimes have dreams in spanish and my accent is perfect

I mean basically ILX wimmenz are NOT en masse going to respond "OMG I JUST LOVE TO GO TO THE MALL WITH MY BFFS EVERY SUNDAY" because obv lols. So we can get that out of the way. But are we free of the pressure to go too far the other direction and disavow shopping entirely just because it might have too-typically "feminine" connotations?

How about having an informed-consumer approach in which you are interested in getting the best thing that you need/want for its own sake?

i need to go back and relearn things. i feel bad for forgetting most of it!
i tried teaching myself russian once but instead i just taught myself how to pronounce it by ipa-ing stuff instead of actually learning to read it/understand it.

i feel more free when i stay out of the mall, feminine connotations aside

i think the thing i'm not good at with shopping is the informed-consumer approach! Most of the time, i just want to buy a thing and get out. I don't even like ebay cos it's too full of decisions you have to take a long time over.

xp to harbl, agreed to infinity. I feel like a better person when I stay out of stores completely. I used to shop for "fun" because the variety of artistic and desirable things in NYC was mind-boggling to me. But it made me sadder and sadder that I would never be able to consume beautiful things at the rates that they were offered. Too many choices, too much stimulation, too much wanting.

So I stopped going to stores except on a mission for things. I also stopped reading ANY fashion magazines around the same time, for whatever that's worth.

Now I'm about 3x happier and have less stuff.

I don't feel pressured to hate shopping, but I find recreational shopping to be one of the most boring, disappointing, and pointless ways to spend my free time.

i just hate everything in my closet right now (l, you experienced this to some extent when we tried to dress me for soul club!) but i don't have the $ to buy new stuff so i just dream about shopping for new clothes which i think makes me think i like shopping more than i do.

I like shopping for books about language.

very low tolerance for aimless shopping or shopping with other people
still wearing clothes i had in college and one sweater from high school
i get bossy/intolerant when shopping with others and they are indecisive

ugh so do i!

i get frustrated when i shop too bc i always have a particular cut/item in mind and then i can NEVER find it.

Hahahahahaha. Yes. My mom took me shopping in MI and I ignored her for basically hours as I blitzed through sale racks.

She kept being like, "How about this?" (holds up thing that I hate).

ugh

my mom got me work pants for xmas and i liked them except she accidentally (?) ordered xtra long. lol mom.

No, she was good overall, esp when she started holding up joke items and we were so tired that it became hilarious. At one point she said, "Stop talking to me like I'm an idiot" and I said, "I will if you stop talking to me."

i still remember going to the thrift store with my high school friends and getting into a MAJOR fight with them about who was going to buy the smaller burgundy velvet blazer
NEVER AGAIN thrift shoppin with friends
i turned into a monster!

i remember barking DO YOU WANT IT OR NOT YES OR NO YES OR NO

lol my high school self wants that blazer!

actually, i have very little tolerance for people who involve me in their long, arduous, vocal decisionmaking

over trivial things, like buying a sixty cent blazer

i get frustrated when i shop too bc i always have a particular cut/item in mind and then i can NEVER find it.

Important keys to efficient shopping, I think: a) have a really clear idea of what kind of thing is acceptable to you, and immediately mentally discard everything else. Do not get sidetracked by something that's on sale if it's not your style/on your list!! and b) Be willing to leave the store with NOTHING if you don't find what you wanted. Do not buy just to have something to show for your time.

that is pretty much what i do but then i will end up looking for a pair of tennis shoes i really like for 6 months while the ones on my feet are disintegrating. nagl.

I used to shop for "fun" because the variety of artistic and desirable things in NYC was mind-boggling to me. But it made me sadder and sadder that I would never be able to consume beautiful things at the rates that they were offered. Too many choices, too much stimulation, too much wanting.

So I stopped going to stores except on a mission for things.

Yeah - I'm the same way! Yesterday, I had to force myself to buy the vacuum cleaner I was there to buy, and nothing else.

I spend way too much on clothes and really need to not do that tbh. I do have a good idea of what suits me and would go in my wardrobe and all.. Trouble is that can still justify a lot of stuff. Maybe a lot of it is just interest in color and pattern and such and I should do collage instead

hahahahaha Daria the world needs more YSL vintage finds and less collage TBH - play to yr strengths.

a) have a really clear idea of what kind of thing is acceptable to you, and immediately mentally discard everything else. Do not get sidetracked by something that's on sale if it's not your style/on your list!! and b) Be willing to leave the store with NOTHING if you don't find what you wanted.

Yeah, see the problem is that there is never anything that fits the really clear idea of what is acceptable to me, and I generally leave with nothing. Then an occasion arrives when I actually need a thing that I do not have, because I have been waiting until I find the thing I really want, at which point I have to make a furious round of all the plus-size clothing retailers in Chicago attempting to find something so simple and necessary and yet so fucking elusive as a plain god damn black cardigan made from a material that is suitable for a professional workplace. (Note: Talbot's, bless their conservative little hearts, finally started carrying such an item, and there is one on the way to me as we speak.) So shopping for clothes is just brutal for me.

When shopping for some other item, I tend to approach it like a precision military operation. Determine which item I wish to purchase through research. Determine the cheapest place I can purchase said item local, with allowances for location, convenience, and timing. Check to see if I can purchase this item on line somewhere cheaper and whether the shipping costs are offset by crazypants Chicago sales tax. If I decide to purchase said item from a local brick and mortar store, I will go in, secure said item, and GTFO.

Unless I'm going to Target. I'll poke around a little bit in Target.

Discount places like TJ Maxx or Marshall's are like living hell to me. I'll go to Nordstrom Rack but only for shoes because they have an awesome selection of size 10 shoes.

Basically I buy everything I possibly can at the giant Macy's on State Street because I can walk there from work via the Pedway during my lunch hour, I know where everything is, and I can get a tamale from Frontera Fresca as a reward for my pain.

Yeah I guess it helps to have "a style" which is just whatever you know you like and feel good in (as long as that is not "dirty jeans and a band Tshirt" because in that case yeah you're going to hate shopping). Then, anything that isn't "your" style, ie peasant tops, things with uh sequins or lace, boot-cut pants, ANY pants, etc, you can just shove them out of the way and mentally clear the decks for a nice straight skirt that you will actually bother to try on.

I want a tamale, though.

peasant tops, things with uh sequins or lace, boot-cut pants

You just described 95% of all stock in every plus-size women's retail clothing store ever.

That's really good advice, Laurel - however, it can be annoying, and sometimes traumatic when you rarely find things you can feel good in, because they're not made in your size, or in flattering styles. That whole Sarahel's Semiotics thread was inspired because of my frustration over trying to find pants I'd want to wear.

xp - ha! I went into Lane Bryant over the Christmas holidays.

There is a woman who works here at my work who knows a woman who makes tamales and sells them, so every couple of weeks I get to put in a tamale order and the next day pick up a dozen homemade hot tamales. $11!!! That is shopping that I can totally get behind.

Lane Bryant and I are currently not on speaking terms, at least until all of my underwear totally gives out.

great, now i want a tamale!

Ooooooooh yes, those bastards. Do they think people over a size 8 (or 10, or 12, or whatever) are USING THEIR TONGUES FOR TASTE?? How about you shop in a PLUS-SIZED CLUE STORE, ya fucking idiots.

loooooooool @ "plus sized clue store"

macy's in ny has a plus floor that is actually pretty accurate larger reproductions of the same stuff in their misses section, but yeah, that was always reallllly annoying.

also for me, i was always in between where plus clothes looked baggy and terrible on me bc they were not made to be flattering, just to canopy, but reg clothes were a smidge too tight (always in the bust!). also i have a small butt in comparison to the rest of me so finding pants is a nightmare. if it fits in the waist the butt is saggy. booo. hissss.

i am familiar with the saggy butt problem

it's like if you are fat you are supposed to have a fat ass, too!

stereotyping :(

I'm high-waisted, so the year or so when all the women's pants were either pleated mom trousers or low slung boy pants was pretty grim. I ended up going w/ the boy pants because I don't have much in the way of hips.

The Macy's here has a good plus section, too. Or at least it is larger than most. Being in between straight sizes and plus sizes is a huge pain in the ass, too.

Basically, off the rack clothes don't fit anybody ever. It's like Laurel said in the shopping thread - you've got to find a manufacturer/designer that suits you. Also a good tailor.

I met Chicago Sarah for lunch today and she told me that my outfit lacked only for saddle shoes to be at home in a Twin Peaks episode (which she meant as and I took as a compliment), so despite all this angst, I must be doing something right.

:D

AWW!

I solved my shopping problem by not going shopping, at least recreationally, and I solved the fitting-pants problem by not wearing pants. Viola.