bit¢oin$

banks just don't know how to process transactions, it's true.

delivered in the comforting tones/style of a hostage video

Yeah, I kept imagining being one of the other people at that guys job (or...is that his workplace? Is he just in a computer lab?) and thinking about how I would definitely quit, that same day, rather than be in any job where that guy is part of it and he gets to record videos like that

It is actually better to be dead

the funniest outcome here is tether flaming out and the hegde funds being unable to cash in their shorts cause the whole crypto system crashed

It’s popcorn time already? More Hedge Funds Are Betting Against Tether as Crypto Melts Down https://t.co/6RB8MMBC8l

— Bitfinex’ed 🔥 Κασσάνδρα 🏺 (@Bitfinexed) June 27, 2022

Crypto hedge fund Three Arrows Capital has entered liquidationhttps://t.co/zWjwklCmAx

— *Walter Bloomberg (@DeItaone) June 29, 2022

It turns out that Coinbase, the largest crypto exchange in the US, is directly selling tools to U.S law enforcement & immigration agencies to help track peoples’ crypto transactions.https://t.co/rkyRvNdp9c

— Avi Asher-Schapiro (@AASchapiro) June 29, 2022

its da freedom money

well ain't that a leopard eating my face

https://www.newyorker.com/news/our-columnists/the-great-crypto-grift-may-be-unwinding

We seem to now be in the midst of a long, slow, air leaking out kind of decline. It’s below $19k again and falling very steadily.

yeah they already did the superbowl commercials at some point youre going to use up all the suckers

what happens if you pump but theres nowhere to dump

maybe matt damon was the pets.com sock puppet dog of crypto

lol fun to watch the price shoot up $1500 in 2 minutes and slowly bleed it all back over the next 3 hours

a story as old as time

Crypto-themed restaurant stops accepting crypto

June 24, 2022https://t.co/DUcv4K7KzI pic.twitter.com/33E971K33v

— web3 is going just great (@web3isgreat) June 24, 2022

tether is printing unbacked tethers and dumping them on the chinese market with the help of a chinese crytpo tycoon / bit torrent owner / grandian diplomat justin sun, apparently

🧵🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨
Does anyone think it's a coincidence that #AEX, first exchange to close withdrawal, tweeted about a $1B bank run THE SAME DAY that #Tether burned EXACTLY $1B?

WTF is a mid sized exchange doing keeping $1B around?
Unless it's... not real...https://t.co/nGqKg8gMR1 pic.twitter.com/3wjGncw5po

— ⚯ Michel de Cryptadamus ⚯ (@Cryptadamist) July 7, 2022

here is the document https://cryptadamus.substack.com/p/the-tetherers-apprentice

what caused today's tumble i was busy not reading twitter for once

yeah I just saw BTC fell like $900 in a few minutes, just like 15 minutes ago.

surprisingly bad inflation report was released at 8:30am ET, the exact moment of the initial drop.

i was told bitcoin was a hedge against inflation

Coinbase $COIN: A name you can trust. pic.twitter.com/ocs850S57y

— PlainSite (@PlainSite) July 21, 2022

well, fuck

Blockchain-powered carbon offset company Land Life starts 35,000-acre forest fire in Spain

July 20, 2022https://t.co/LRLNmv1QGs pic.twitter.com/EJ3GfmLia0

— web3 is going just great (@web3isgreat) July 20, 2022

be nice if this thread was easier to find 😡

anyway this is a high comedy of code-is-now-law:

12/ tl;dr a routine upgrade marked the zero hash as a valid root, which had the effect of allowing messages to be spoofed on Nomad. Attackers abused this to copy/paste transactions and quickly drained the bridge in a frenzied free-for-all

— samczsun (@samczsun) August 2, 2022

im sure ive said this itt before but the the whole blockchain smart contract thing is pretty funny in that it makes the popular misunderstanding of a contract real, that its a bulletproof literal document where you can trick someone with fine print and once its signed youre stuck without recourse, and now theyre finding out why contracts dont actually work that way lol

does that nomad behavior even count as a vulnerability/hack? it's like they said, "we don't care who people say they are". it's on the level of finding a bug in javascript code written by a teenager to trade magic cards.

im sure ive said this itt before but the the whole blockchain smart contract thing is pretty funny in that it makes the popular misunderstanding of a contract real, that its a bulletproof literal document where you can trick someone with fine print and once its signed youre stuck without recourse, and now theyre finding out why contracts dont actually work that way lol

― lag∞n, Tuesday, August 2, 2022 9:10 AM (three hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

No more hilarious/disturbing example of this misunderstanding than the blockchain "consent" app posted somewhere upthread. Inefficient processes have a certain benefit. Not going to say nothing could be done with technology to improve them, but you really don't want these transactions (contracts, title transfers etc) to be instant/automatic.

Friedman LLP fired Tether.

Tether refused to provide the necessary documents to complete the audit.

— Bitfinex’ed 🔥 Κασσάνδρα 🏺 (@Bitfinexed) August 18, 2022

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FaLl8HLXkAAQg1R?format=jpg&name=medium

HUSD was once one of the safest stablecoins. Now it's off its peg. If HUSD doesn't return to $1, it'd be the first fully-reserved centralized stablecoin to fail. pic.twitter.com/9WmROQR6lD

— John Paul Koning (@jp_koning) August 18, 2022

tether thing makes me a little queasy. Just has that iceberg vibe to it.

oh yeah its gonna fuck their whole shit up

OptiFi developer accidentally closes the project contract, irretrievably locking $661,000

August 29, 2022https://t.co/U9Vhtf3Ynw pic.twitter.com/4tWQnUDG6M

— web3 is going just great (@web3isgreat) August 30, 2022

buy 76.99 ETH, sell 24 hours later for 769.9 ETH

instant $1m "clean" money

let none say "glaringly obvious monkey laundering"https://t.co/eMdzBefwML

— your #1 source for absurdist true crime 🐍👑 🌷 (@davidgerard) September 1, 2022

yes, please let NFTs now be referred to solely as "monkey laundering"

otm, brilliant

#Bitcoin is dying pic.twitter.com/2N58QjudNO

— Bitcoin Magazine (@BitcoinMagazine) September 4, 2022

#Bitcoin 1-year trailing return has been a good indicator of bottoms. According to this, the bottom is not in yet, but might likely be before the end of this year. 2023 looks like a rebound year in many respects. pic.twitter.com/8kfTBVAHqS

— Timothy Peterson (@nsquaredmacro) September 3, 2022

Yes 2024 will be good! #BTC pic.twitter.com/2kTiLI3RZ4

— Seth (@seth_fin) September 4, 2022

seems like a great experience!

Introducing Starbucks Odyssey, a new experience that will offer the ability to earn & buy digital collectibles (NFTs) that will unlock access to new coffee experiences. Join the waitlist to be among the first to explore Odyssey. https://t.co/Kze11sab1D

— Starbucks News (@StarbucksNews) September 12, 2022

This reminds me a lot of that pre-crash era of the web where every corporate brand suddenly understood that they "needed a website" but had no idea wtf to do with it

pretty funny that the web3/nft boom was short enough that the corporate products werent even out before the crash

lol yeah, that was probably in development for like 15 months and then they're like "oh fuck, what do we do with this now?"

figuring out how to trade in your nft for a free coffee before youve had coffee

obviously this is just a huge company with unlimited money splashing around but why did starbucks feel like they needed to be first to market with digital customer rewards collectables theyre a coffee company i think they can afford to wait and see if its just some bullshit craze and or money laundering scheme

dunkin donuts did not do this they stuck to their core competency of figuring out how many sugars you can put in an xxl coffee

are these actual nfts is this "crypto" or is it just some badges living on starbucks servers

Limited-edition stamps will also be available for all members to purchase directly with a credit card in the app.

No crypto wallet or cryptocurrency needed. This is the right strategy. Crypto complexity should all be abstracted away in the backend.

— Aylo (@alpha_pls) September 12, 2022

Members can also purchase ‘limited-edition stamps’ (NFTs) through a built-in marketplace within the Starbucks Odyssey web app experience. Limited-edition stamps will be available for all members to purchase directly with a credit card. No crypto wallet or cryptocurrency will be required – making the Starbucks Odyssey experience a fun and easy way for members to access this new technology and claim an ownership stake in their loyalty to Starbucks.

Each digital collectable stamp will include a point value based on its rarity, and the stamps can be bought or sold among members within the marketplace, with ownership secured on a blockchain. As stamps are collected, members’ points will increase, unlocking access to unique benefits and experiences that have never been offered before. These experiences could range from a virtual espresso martini-making class, to access to unique merchandise and artist collaborations, to invitations to exclusive events at Starbucks Reserve Roasteries or even trips to Starbucks Hacienda Alsacia coffee farm in Costa Rica.

go ahead folks keep mocking this as you continue to live out the same coffee experiences every single day of your life

I tried to sign up but the waiting list wouldn’t load.