Damage ContrLOLz 2: LOL Harder

An idea whose time has come.

ac transit bus fight never4get

http://www.heraeusamba.com/

and thanks. i don't know why i couldn't just do it myself. i just couldn't.

just a relief to be out of there. felt like being at the bottom of a deep pit and all those old lolz were gonna come crashing down on my head.

an avalolche, as it were

scott you should learn how to use bookmarks it will take you approx 8 seconds to learn

do they enable you to look at an entire 5000 post thread?

i just opened that thread up to see if i could. almost 6000 posts actually.

my computer is still working on it...

no :(

but going to settings and turning off images will! (not very useful on a lolz thread tho)

yeah i just think if a thread gets that long nobody will ever be able to look at most of it again? a 2000 post clusterfuck thread with mostly comments is pretty easy to open up quickly. but the video/picture-heavy ones will be unreadable for future generations. maybe computers will just get really good at that kind of thing. but i like going through the old stuff i missed and that thread made that kind of impossible. i'll try the bookmark thing.

i am glad you consider future generations when you think about ILX, i do too

Grubby little future ingrates...

i believe the children are our zingers

yeah i just think if a thread gets that long nobody will ever be able to look at most of it again? a 2000 post clusterfuck thread with mostly comments is pretty easy to open up quickly. but the video/picture-heavy ones will be unreadable for future generations. maybe computers will just get really good at that kind of thing. but i like going through the old stuff i missed and that thread made that kind of impossible. i'll try the bookmark thing.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:24 (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yuh im p certain future computers will be fine

its not like apple are gonna be all 'eh... they are alright as they are now, we just cannae be fucked to keep improving'

Apple. Think Cannae Be Fucked.

are we lol'ing harder yet

http://balletalert.invisionzone.com/public/style_emoticons/default/rofl.GIF

GET OUT OF HER!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymanPS6VAF4

GAGANESS IS NEVER NEXT TO GODLINESS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9zeVo-tpok

OUR MASTER IS NOT THE MONSTER

???

seriously better than the original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9GTAIhksPcw#!

sorry, i meant:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GTAIhksPcw

3:30

Hey ZS.

Went to the Avatar store today.

Got you a little something.

Hang on. Where did I put it.

Oh.

Here it is.

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/7162/screenshot20120522at744.png

hahahahha
YES

Nope, disagree!! Zooey is a tree hugger and a marijuana activist.....she probably asked if it was raining, then smoked a big bowl and then found enough energy in her stoned ass to make it to the window. Hence the fact that her next course of action was to order in food. But Zooey is an actress AND a supermodel....therefore she has a supermodel appetite....a very insubstantial appetite I might add considering she would burden a restaurant delivery employee to simply deliver some tomato soup...

AppalachianKnight77 in reply to mary schmidt (Show the comment) 4 hours ago

tbf, ordering in a bowl of tomato soup is some stoner activity

"Burden"? Dude gets to leave the restaurant (probably smoke out, himself) and I'm sure twee-princess Zooey will tip him well.

siri... burden a restaurant employee
I FOUND THREE RESTAURANT EMPLOYEES NEARBY

the shackles of door delivery

did gr8ee see this? i know he likes restaurant talk

http://www.arbys.com/Statement_05-17.pdf

http://now.msn.com/now/0517-arbys-finger-sandwich.aspx

https://p.twimg.com/At-yeqKCEAEKdQJ.jpg:large

^ lol

Wait - you guys have never seen that before?

It's a classic.

i'm way behind on my bieber studies

http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/168876_10150858782496840_573511839_10009019_1176226974_n.jpg

loooooooool

What?!

RIM = Research in Motion, maker of an early precursor to the smartphone

"an early precursor"

haha

i have two theories on the absurd number of times that they require the customer to turn the light on and off after 2 or 8 seconds, and i have no idea what i'm talking about:

1) they were worried about a customer accidentally resetting the light, so they added more steps to make it less likely. e.g., if there were only 3 steps, then someone might accidentally reset their by turning a light on, turning it off 2 seconds later, then turning it back on 8 seconds later. so they added another step to make that more unlikely. with each additional step, a deeply paranoid project manager was still not convinced that the possibility of accidental reset was low enough. so they kept adding and adding. things got out of control.

2) they completely forgot to add a way for the customer to reset the device until the very last moment, just before shipping. some engineer realized that the whole device could be reset if a password was entered: 22822828882 (or whatever). as a bandaid fix, they decided to make the input the number of seconds between the light turning on and off. (or some other post hoc solution along these lines)

i think (1) is actually the case tbh

3) The method described at length in the instructional video doesn't actually work, but it's fun to imagine people trying to make it work.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Stairs_(Sleator_novel)
― El Tomboto

This sounds like a pretty cool YA dystopia - have you read it? Any good?

(Nothing to contribute about the video itself that hasn't already been expressed by other gobsmacked viewers)

i think (1) is actually the case tbh

same, but even then, it's like...obviously this is a wild ass guess and based on nothing, but consider the probabilities of this stuff happening on accident

0) start with the bulb off
1) turn on the bulb for 8 seconds, then off (1% chance of this happening by chance(<<this is a exceedingly generously high estimate)
2) after 2 seconds, turn the bulb back on (1% chance)
3) after 8 seconds, turn the bulb off (1% chance)

already, we are at a 1 in a 1,000,000 odds of that sequence happening, using conservative estimates (if give a 0.5% chance to the individual steps above happening, it would be a 1 in 8 million.) adding each additional step (at 1% chance of it happening accidentally) makes it 100x more unlikely:

4) after 2 seconds, turn the bulb back on (1% chance)

with this 4th step, we're already at a 1 in a 100 MILLION chance that this would happen accidentally

...but then they added maybe a dozen more steps after that? the odds of that happening are so low that i don't think numbers can express it

It's better to play it safe and add another iteration or two. Or fourteen. Or seventy-two. Because can you even imagine the resulting catastrophe if someone accidentally restored their bulb to factory settings? Can you?

These are like Anally-Retentive Chef-levels of overprecaution here.

maybe this is genius viral marketing. because now i kind of want to buy one of these bulbs just so i can show someone how to reset it

lol I thought the video was just repeating the procedure over and over so that the user would remember it.

/https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/House_of_Stairs_(Sleator_novel🕸)
― El Tomboto/

This sounds like a pretty cool YA dystopia - have you read it?

1) they were worried about a customer accidentally resetting the light, so they added more steps to make it less likely. e.g., if there were only 3 steps, then someone might accidentally reset their by turning a light on, turning it off 2 seconds later, then turning it back on 8 seconds later. so they added another step to make that more unlikely. with each additional step, a deeply paranoid project manager was still not convinced that the possibility of accidental reset was low enough. so they kept adding and adding. things got out of control.

You make it sound like the project manager was watching some old episode of the Bob Newhart Show where Emily's all "Goodnight, Bob," and he's all "Goodnight", turns off the light and realizes something. Turns on the light and says, "Em, but you said the garbage man –" and back and forth even though the show was set in the 1970s before they had this goddm fucking bullshit.

I mean, just think of the consequences if the light were accidentally reset. My God.

once you reset a smart bulb there's no going back to life you had

The children of tomorrow will snicker when we try to explain that we used to merely flip a switch to turn on a light, and that we certainly never needed to call in a FEMA task force to change a light bulb in the event that one blew out.

xp you can go back for eight seconds but then it's off to your new life for two seconds then back for eight seconds then off to your new life then

We're at DEFCON 1, people. Start the reset, and may God have mercy on us all.

Eight seconds...two seconds. Eight seconds...two seconds. Eight seconds...three seconds, oh god no are those Cenobites oh god help me help meeeeee

We have... such sights to show you... for eight seconds... followed by two seconds of torture...

i think my favorite part of the video is how the demo actor hightails it out of the camera frame as soon as their role in the debacle is over

'and finally, step 523: wait 8 seconds and then turn the light back on. 1...2...3...*sounds of coat being put on*...4...5...*quickly receding footstep noises*...6....7....8 *door slams*

wait...that would mean they forgot to hit the light the last time because they were already out the door

well shit, gotta start the reset process over

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fULNUr0rvEc

you need a buddy and a pound each of red beets and fresh asparagus to factory reset your GE smart toilet

This clearly should've been a HowToBasic video.

to emil.y & bizarro: yes, House of Stairs has stuck with me for ages. Not to spoil the ending but it’s basically a hybrid of Rock Band and the video we’re all discussing here

pic.twitter.com/jxo5Yb87Xr

— Unusual Videos 🤔 (@UnusualVideos) July 19, 2019

pic.twitter.com/XWGTk9pTJL

— Drug Art (@Art_Relatable) July 31, 2019

a+, the true purpose for which extremely high framerate cameras were developed

https://i.imgur.com/LCS0qX6.jpg

[continues for 2,000 words]

still, it's good to see the editors at Conservapedia are keeping going

Took a picture of myself every day for 10 years. pic.twitter.com/3DYlEYAoXV

— Jack Bensinger (@JackBensinger) July 25, 2019

lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EEg11pHZhzI

https://i.imgur.com/Jbqbjmp.jpg

ahahahahaha

lolll

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lrc-AMjhrkY

if u couldn't find the 'people who seem to have figured out how to live' thread you should of asked, we would of helped u

oh don't think I didn't. it's for pictures, and this is a video. so you're welcome

p.s. wosop in the house tonight

WOSOOOOP

If, despite my persistent efforts, I do not become some pale simulacrum of this man over the next decade or so, please just bury me alive for I will basically already be dead.

We’ll keep a lookout for your YouTube channel

wosop

wosop everybody in the house tonight

it's good to see boomba back on the wav, haven't seen him there in a while

WOSOP
WOSOP

JMM OTM

wosop
BALLOON