Damage ContrLOLz 2: LOL Harder

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An idea whose time has come.

phooey and nuts and phooey (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 16:37 (nine years ago) link

ac transit bus fight never4get

scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 17:39 (nine years ago) link

http://www.heraeusamba.com/

phooey and nuts and phooey (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 17:43 (nine years ago) link

and thanks. i don't know why i couldn't just do it myself. i just couldn't.

scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 17:44 (nine years ago) link

just a relief to be out of there. felt like being at the bottom of a deep pit and all those old lolz were gonna come crashing down on my head.

scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 17:45 (nine years ago) link

an avalolche, as it were

phooey and nuts and phooey (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 17:53 (nine years ago) link

scott you should learn how to use bookmarks it will take you approx 8 seconds to learn

♆ (gr8080), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:09 (nine years ago) link

do they enable you to look at an entire 5000 post thread?

scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:15 (nine years ago) link

i just opened that thread up to see if i could. almost 6000 posts actually.

scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:19 (nine years ago) link

my computer is still working on it...

scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:19 (nine years ago) link

no :(

but going to settings and turning off images will! (not very useful on a lolz thread tho)

♆ (gr8080), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:21 (nine years ago) link

yeah i just think if a thread gets that long nobody will ever be able to look at most of it again? a 2000 post clusterfuck thread with mostly comments is pretty easy to open up quickly. but the video/picture-heavy ones will be unreadable for future generations. maybe computers will just get really good at that kind of thing. but i like going through the old stuff i missed and that thread made that kind of impossible. i'll try the bookmark thing.

scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:24 (nine years ago) link

i am glad you consider future generations when you think about ILX, i do too

♆ (gr8080), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:25 (nine years ago) link

Grubby little future ingrates...

Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:26 (nine years ago) link

i believe the children are our zingers

phooey and nuts and phooey (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:27 (nine years ago) link

yeah i just think if a thread gets that long nobody will ever be able to look at most of it again? a 2000 post clusterfuck thread with mostly comments is pretty easy to open up quickly. but the video/picture-heavy ones will be unreadable for future generations. maybe computers will just get really good at that kind of thing. but i like going through the old stuff i missed and that thread made that kind of impossible. i'll try the bookmark thing.

― scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:24 (17 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

yuh im p certain future computers will be fine

a hoy hoy, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:42 (nine years ago) link

its not like apple are gonna be all 'eh... they are alright as they are now, we just cannae be fucked to keep improving'

a hoy hoy, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:43 (nine years ago) link

Apple. Think Cannae Be Fucked.

phooey and nuts and phooey (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:50 (nine years ago) link

are we lol'ing harder yet

shit_ebooks (am0n), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 18:54 (nine years ago) link

GET OUT OF HER!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ymanPS6VAF4

scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:15 (nine years ago) link

GAGANESS IS NEVER NEXT TO GODLINESS!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y9zeVo-tpok

scott seward, Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:19 (nine years ago) link

OUR MASTER IS NOT THE MONSTER

???

shit_ebooks (am0n), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 19:30 (nine years ago) link

seriously better than the original:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9GTAIhksPcw#!

Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 22:45 (nine years ago) link

sorry, i meant:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9GTAIhksPcw

Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 22:46 (nine years ago) link

3:30

Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Tuesday, 22 May 2012 22:47 (nine years ago) link

Hey ZS.

pplains, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 00:45 (nine years ago) link

Went to the Avatar store today.

pplains, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 00:45 (nine years ago) link

Got you a little something.

pplains, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 00:45 (nine years ago) link

Hang on. Where did I put it.

pplains, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 00:45 (nine years ago) link

Oh.

pplains, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 00:46 (nine years ago) link

Here it is.

pplains, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 00:46 (nine years ago) link

http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/7162/screenshot20120522at744.png

pplains, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 00:46 (nine years ago) link

hahahahha
YES

Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 02:21 (nine years ago) link

Nope, disagree!! Zooey is a tree hugger and a marijuana activist.....she probably asked if it was raining, then smoked a big bowl and then found enough energy in her stoned ass to make it to the window. Hence the fact that her next course of action was to order in food. But Zooey is an actress AND a supermodel....therefore she has a supermodel appetite....a very insubstantial appetite I might add considering she would burden a restaurant delivery employee to simply deliver some tomato soup...

AppalachianKnight77 in reply to mary schmidt (Show the comment) 4 hours ago

sanskrit, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 13:47 (nine years ago) link

tbf, ordering in a bowl of tomato soup is some stoner activity

phooey and nuts and phooey (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 14:26 (nine years ago) link

"Burden"? Dude gets to leave the restaurant (probably smoke out, himself) and I'm sure twee-princess Zooey will tip him well.

Love Max Ophüls of us all (Michael White), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 15:06 (nine years ago) link

siri... burden a restaurant employee
I FOUND THREE RESTAURANT EMPLOYEES NEARBY

phooey and nuts and phooey (forksclovetofu), Wednesday, 23 May 2012 15:36 (nine years ago) link

the shackles of door delivery

Matt Armstrong, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 17:41 (nine years ago) link

did gr8ee see this? i know he likes restaurant talk

http://www.arbys.com/Statement_05-17.pdf

http://now.msn.com/now/0517-arbys-finger-sandwich.aspx

scott seward, Wednesday, 23 May 2012 22:58 (nine years ago) link

https://p.twimg.com/At-yeqKCEAEKdQJ.jpg:large

Matt Armstrong, Monday, 28 May 2012 22:23 (nine years ago) link

^ lol

pet tommy & the barkhaters (darraghmac), Monday, 28 May 2012 22:26 (nine years ago) link

Wait - you guys have never seen that before?

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 28 May 2012 22:27 (nine years ago) link

It's a classic.

wolf kabob (ENBB), Monday, 28 May 2012 22:27 (nine years ago) link

i'm way behind on my bieber studies

pet tommy & the barkhaters (darraghmac), Monday, 28 May 2012 22:34 (nine years ago) link

loooooooool

Mad God 40/40 (Z S), Thursday, 31 May 2012 14:42 (nine years ago) link

What?!

"Wet chunks of China people and queers fly everywhere." (Stevie D(eux)), Thursday, 31 May 2012 15:34 (nine years ago) link

RIM = Research in Motion, maker of an early precursor to the smartphone

this guy's a gangsta? his real name's mittens. (Hurting 2), Thursday, 31 May 2012 15:38 (nine years ago) link

"an early precursor"

haha

goole, Thursday, 31 May 2012 15:50 (nine years ago) link

his strangled "dahhhhh" at the beginning of that is 24 karat gold

lord of the ting tings (map), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 19:34 (five months ago) link

that is the best

Hello Nice FBI Lady (DJP), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 19:38 (five months ago) link

oh fuck

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 19:41 (five months ago) link

looks like Rubio was wrong

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 19:46 (five months ago) link

that was amazing

Ray Cooney as "Crotch" (stevie), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 21:06 (five months ago) link

"rod ponton"
amazing

That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 22:47 (five months ago) link

thanks to eric for posting this here as i was able to share it on the work-wide email list today before everyone sees it on facebook tomorrow

lord of the ting tings (map), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 23:08 (five months ago) link

three people have already sent it to me

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Tuesday, 9 February 2021 23:10 (five months ago) link

Easily the single most powerful interaction in the history of Facebook Camry owners groups pic.twitter.com/jjkW1Vvf87

— fitzy (@fivewaylogjam) February 15, 2021

silverfish, Monday, 15 February 2021 21:00 (five months ago) link

Now that's a Facebook group.

This looks like something from Repo Man 2000.

https://i.imgur.com/gJwBSog.jpg

pplains, Monday, 15 February 2021 21:40 (five months ago) link

The most blasphemous Star Trek shitpost I have ever made or could possibly ever make. You've been warned. pic.twitter.com/hxQAYlzhxk

— David Lebo (@leboism) February 19, 2021

lord of the ting tings (map), Friday, 19 February 2021 22:26 (five months ago) link

mookieproof, Friday, 19 February 2021 22:30 (five months ago) link

^ go to minute 7 here, it is very special.

That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 18:43 (five months ago) link

that weird little typing song she launches into (before the sunglasses go on and the costume change) is disturbingly similar to my "counting game" that i constantly played in my head through my adolescence. thank god i finally god the counting game out of my head, it is a nightmare

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 22 February 2021 18:51 (five months ago) link

lmao!! amazing find

Fetchboy, Monday, 22 February 2021 18:54 (five months ago) link

7:00: Okay, T-Bone! Time for some serious crunching!

I'm using Windows
Windows, Windows 386
So all my app-li-cations are running at once
My report right now, is scattered all over my desk
W-w-w-windows will pull these files together real quick
I got pieces in one spreadsheet
I got pieces in another
I got pieces that have never been close to one another
Some are in the da-ta-base where things are pretty stuffy
Some are in the word pro-cess-or, that's where it gets fluffy(?)
W-w-windows, W-w-windows, Windows 386
Will pull these parts together and do it mighty quick
I'll cut and paste, cut-and-paste until it's in Pagemaker
Then I'll slick it up to be T-Bone's heartbreaker.

(Linda takes off her clothes)

"Here's the spreadsheet data you asked for Linda..."

WILLIAM!

"Linda! Uh-oh. These are 1-2-3 files. That doesn't look like 1-2-3."

8:13 - It's Na-Na-Not!
1-2-2-2-3! But don't wo-rry Will-iam, just hand the disk to me!
BARK BARK BARK
I got! Several applications looking mighty slick
Running un-der Win-dows 386!
BARK BARK BARK
In one of the win-dows I've got 1-2-2-2-3
Running at the same time as the others, can't you see?
BARK BARK BARK
I can cut and paste your files in-to my report
Or I can make them look bet-ter with Mi-cro-soft Chart
Charts is Charts is Charts is what I got
CYMBAL SPLASH
Now I'm gonna show you how to make the thing look hot!
BARK

"I'm in accounting! Nothing ever looks hot!"

SYNTH SOLO

Stand! Back William, stand b-b-b-back
Windows 386! IS ON THE ATTACK!

CYMBAL SPLASH, SYNTH SOLO CONTINUES WITH VAGUE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE INTERPOLATIONS AND VINYL SCRATCHING

"Wooooooow..."

That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:03 (five months ago) link

forks, i'm really sorry but we're going to need you to use your 386 to update that draft. we LOVE the hyphens, but there aren't enough of them! Linda's song should have hyphens between each-and-ev-e-ry-syll-a-ble. Due-by-end-of-Day!

Zach_TBD (Karl Malone), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:32 (five months ago) link

w-w-w-why

That's not really my scene (I'm 41) (forksclovetofu), Monday, 22 February 2021 19:43 (five months ago) link

So many urges to say out loud "MOM! Like, OMG stop! Ughhh seriously oh my GAWD mom please"

Evan, Monday, 22 February 2021 20:01 (five months ago) link

WATCH: Police in Karachi, Pakistan are training an armed rollerblading unit to better prevent theft and harassment on its streets. pic.twitter.com/IX5CrM6tep

— CBS News (@CBSNews) February 23, 2021

For a few seconds, the generic background music in this Reuters video sounds like it's going to resolve into a rendition of North American Scum. Just so you're not as disappointed as I was, let me tell you up front that it takes a different musical direction. But don't let that detract from your enjoyment of the rollerskating cops of Karachi.

peace, man, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 12:43 (five months ago) link

Some serious Police Academy vibes in portions of that clip

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 14:09 (five months ago) link

a rollerblade jumping over a motorcycle forever

adam, Wednesday, 24 February 2021 14:51 (five months ago) link

sorry but cops never equal lolz

lord of the ting tings (map), Wednesday, 24 February 2021 15:32 (five months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpKxtTPQ1Q8

map ca. 1890 (map), Monday, 8 March 2021 22:40 (four months ago) link

pic.twitter.com/SqpRgdZf5E

— 𐑤𐑨 𐑐𐑩𐑤𐑐𐑦𐑵𐑩 (@la_polpino) March 16, 2021

map ca. 1890 (map), Tuesday, 16 March 2021 20:59 (four months ago) link

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7zb5gKw6q3o

n/a (FlopsyDuck), Wednesday, 17 March 2021 18:28 (four months ago) link

I see your blessed vacation and raise you a helicopter ride pic.twitter.com/KUOaFpEGLD

— avery💝s data📝charts📈& finance💹✊🌹 (@averygrrl) October 28, 2020

longtime caller, first time listener (man alive), Monday, 29 March 2021 14:30 (four months ago) link

ha, that's awesome

Mr. Cacciatore (Moodles), Monday, 29 March 2021 15:55 (four months ago) link

two weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4NUJQxNj_jo

DJI, Friday, 16 April 2021 17:22 (three months ago) link

They added a roundabout in rural eastern Kentucky pic.twitter.com/tkb19bTEuK

— Oregon Rolled A 20 (I Do Stick Figures) (@OregonRolledA20) April 25, 2021

i was too much listening to your accent (Spottie), Sunday, 25 April 2021 20:11 (three months ago) link

aaaagh

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Sunday, 25 April 2021 20:32 (three months ago) link

two weeks pass...

pic.twitter.com/nmU6VHGE0U

— Geoff Bisente (@GeoffBisente) June 3, 2021

Karl Malone, Friday, 4 June 2021 16:10 (two months ago) link

love it

Lavator Shemmelpennick, Friday, 4 June 2021 16:40 (two months ago) link

Brilliant

jmm, Friday, 4 June 2021 17:35 (two months ago) link

I'm not going to even look, just guess.... does he remove each page, one-by-one, from the back instead of the front?

Because I saw the same gag with a construction worker last week.

pplains, Friday, 4 June 2021 17:36 (two months ago) link

yr no fun pplains

that was great

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Friday, 4 June 2021 20:00 (two months ago) link

I see that so much now though! The same bit getting repeated over and over again by different people. And no one seems to mind!

It's like a global version of this conversation.

https://i.imgur.com/vXlsoBA.jpg

pplains, Friday, 4 June 2021 20:03 (two months ago) link

hee hee

terminators of endearment (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 10 June 2021 01:15 (one month ago) link

three weeks pass...

who did this pic.twitter.com/NsAeH0HEJm

— Jason S. Canon (@uncanonical) October 26, 2018

...

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oh ffs, forks.

pplains, Friday, 2 July 2021 21:48 (one month ago) link

lmao i had to count

class project pat (m bison), Friday, 2 July 2021 22:09 (one month ago) link

nice!

95 reeses nailed to a door but a mensch ate one

Z_TBD (Karl Malone), Friday, 2 July 2021 22:59 (one month ago) link

ok 96 reeses, then a mensch ate one

Z_TBD (Karl Malone), Friday, 2 July 2021 23:03 (one month ago) link


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